Spoons 4 - By Max Mendelsohn - Comedy & Humor - http://maxpages.com/spoons/Spoons

Once in a far away land there was a Spoon (That's me!). This was the only Spoon of its kind, and he/I was on a mission. The mission? Here's a briefing of what's happened so far...
I'm the only Spoon left on a planet filled with Forks. The Forks are okay, not my favorite group of guys. A Fork gave me a book called Thebook. Thebook could answer any question you asked it. I think it's pretty cool if I do say so myself. I'm really hungry. Yep, I'm really really hungry. So I asked Thebook, "Where can I get some decent grub around here?"
A restaurant, dummy.It wrote sarcastically. Don't ask me how it wrote sarcastically, it just kind of did. Then I added, "I don't have any money."
All it said was look in the back of this book and you will have all the money you need. Low and behold, there was a large amount of money in the back of Thebook. So as I was singing, "Do wa didy didy dum didy a just a walking down the street," I saw a restaurant. I went in and ordered a pizza. They say it's the best in the universe! It probably isn't, but it was good. While I was eating, I got a telegram from someone I didn't know. It said:

go To tHe
BaTHrooM

So I entered the dank bathroom lit by a dull light bulb. The bathroom had a dark door with a dull sign on it that said "Beware of the Cheetah." The bathroom wasn't that interesting, but then I saw the writer of the telegram. He was tallish short and fatish thin. His head was a mix between a Fork and a Spoon. All I could say was, "Huh?"
"It's a long story," he warned.
"I don't have any plans."
Then he began to talk and talk and talk. He ended up talking for three days straight. I don't want to tell you all of what he said because that would be too time consuming, but overall he said his name was Kesaj, and that the doctors in the hospital had mixed my DNA with a Fork's to form Kesaj, an unstoppable Spork!!!
"How many of you are there?"
"About 2,347,452.5"
"Where's the .5 come from?'
"During the experiments, things got a little messy." Then he made me an offer I tried hard to refuse but couldn't. He told me, "Sam, you have been chosen to be our leader."
"Who me?"
"Yes, you."
"Why? I can hardly take care of myself. How can I take care of 2,347,452.5?"
"It is your destiny."
"I don't have a destiny."
"Yes, you do. See it right here in the script?"
"Oh well, maybe I do have a destiny."
The next day Kesaj gave me a tour of the city. There were thousands of them, actually there were 2,347,452.5, and I met them all (even the .5 which was creepy). Everyone was different, and they had no religion, culture, government, or technology. I had to teach them all that. After years of work, it felt a lot like home. I was living like a king. Then I got a great idea. I could train the Sporks to be an army. I showed them how to make weapons and kill. I used my training in the Sporce and taught them to fly. They were unstoppable. We built an underground palace and had it guarded by our finest warriors. All was peaceful as I sat back and enjoyed life for a moment. For once, I thought my life was peaceful.

UNTIL SPOONS 5
(yes they keep coming)

February 2000

Sign Guestbook

View Guestbook

villageidiot2005@hotmail.com or maxtheman36@aol.com

Visitors: 00325

Page Updated Mon Aug 18, 2003 10:49pm EDT