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BREAKING NEWS GOD OVERRULES S
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Icy Blonde
Hot as Hell
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Yankee fans on train
Bushs Winning Campaign Slogan
Clintons Clock
Things Found Only in America
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| BREAKING NEWS: GOD OVERRULES SUPREME COURT VERDICT |
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| Bush To Be Smitten Later Today > > > HEAVEN, ENTIRE UNIVERSE (ANS) -- In a stunning development this > morning, God invoked the "one nation, under God" clause of the > Pledge of Allegiance to overrule the recent Supreme Court > decision that handed the White House to George Bush. > > "I'm not sure where the Supreme Court gets off," God said this > morning on a rare Today Show appearance, "but I'm sure as hell > not going to lie back and let Bush get away with this bull*#@!." > > "I've watched analysts argue for weeks now that the exact vote > count in Florida 'will never be known.' Well, I'm God and I DO > know exactly who voted for whom. Let's cut to the chase: Gore > won Florida by exactly 20,219 votes." > > Shocking political analysts and pundits, God's unexpected > verdict overrules the official Electoral College tally and > awards Florida to Al Gore, giving him a 289-246 victory. The > Bush campaign is analyzing God's Word for possible grounds for > appeal. > > "God's ruling is a classic over-reach," argued Bush campaign > strategist Jim Baker. "Clearly, a divine intervention in a U.S. > Presidential Election is unprecedented, unjust, and goes against > The constitution of the state of Florida." > > "Jim Baker's a jackass," God responded. "He's got some > surprises ahead of him, let me tell you. HOT ones, if you know > what I mean." > > God, who provided the exact vote counts for every Florida > precinct, explained that bad balloting machinery and voter > confusion were no grounds to give the White House to "a friggin' > idiot." > > "Look, only 612 people in Palm Beach County voted for Buchanan. > Get real! The rest meant to vote for Gore. Don't believe me? I'll > name them: Anderson, Pete; Anderson, Sam, Jr.; Arthur, James; > Barnhardt, Ron..." > > Our Lord then went on to note that he was displeased with George > W. Bush's prideful ways and announced that he would officially > smite him today. In an act of wrath unlike any reported since the > Book of Job, God has taken all of Bush's goats and livestock, > stripped him of his wealth and possessions, sold his family into > slavery, forced the former presidential candidate into hard labor > in a salt mine, and afflicted him with deep boils. > > Dick Cheney will reportedly receive leprosy. > > Copynone (c) 2000 Anonymous News Service. No Rights Reserved. > > > > > > ¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø > > The Famous Joke of the Day One Liner! > > I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I > went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance... she > leaned over and pushed me. __ _ _ _ /) ++\+\++I_I/I-II-I+//' Shaka !!!!!! \\' `-'`- 'I +++++\_+)+\_ / ) \_ Y )' \ ^ / ##################################################################### |
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