About this Site
Create your own website today!
Update your website
Vote for this Site
Visit My Chat Room
Popular Popups
Jukebox
Message Board
Classified Ads
Statistics
Refer This Site
To A Friend
Home of Spider's Jokes

A Blonde Puzzle
Apple VS Microsoft
Blank Greeting Card Messages
We Dont Serve Bears
The Diary of a Cat
On the Roof
The Final Exam From Hell
Dumb Criminals
Monkey Wrench
Redneck Medical Terms
When in Rome
Smart Mother
Prison vs Work
Mystery of the Ugly Duckling
Breakfast Trouble
Feline Alien Attacks Fence
Why Not a Blonde Joke
In the Year 1900
SAYINGS
Winnie the Pooh Needs Help
TACKLE SHOP
The Horse Race
Shark
A December Story from Russia
Kids Say the Crappiest Things
Walker Texas Salesman
Hunting Lawyers
The Rednecks Babies
American History
A Short History of Medicine
Boxes in Four wheel drive
getting pulled over
Stupid as in not Smart
Fruitcake Recipe
Blonde in Space
Rednecks Babies
Ideas of friends
The Bell Ringer
BLONDE IN DENIAL
An Amish Transformation
The Bar Bet
An Ethnic Survivor Episode
You might be a Redneck If
Washing The Cat
NYC Tourism Rules
Daughters Date
Blonde Kidnapping
You might be a school teacher
16 Fun things to do in class
Years best T Shirt slogans
MeMail Monday
Sailor in a bar
McDonalds
ATM
batteries
The intern
car dealership
IDIOTS AT WORK
IDIOTS and COMPUTERS
Hes lying
IDIOTS ARE EASY TO PLEASE
The Rules of Chocolate
Carpet Layer
Everybody Somebody Anybody
Three Nurses
Baseball Season
Idiots They Walk Among Us
Cars Bumper Sticker
Saving The Prez
BEST NEWSPAPER HEADLINES EVER
Bill Gates Advice
The Statue
Cops Grant Wishes
The Difference Between Rookie
YET ANOTHER REASON NOT TO USE
Duck Joke
Biblical Bumper Stickers
school joke
The lost Dr Seuss Book
Apology
Marriage
RETURN OF THE BEATLES
Cartoon Character Test
How To Get Rich
Only For Canadians
Rejected Rejection
A Politically Correct Holiday
Chet the Parrot
The Four Stages Of Life
Conduct During the HolidayS
Christmas Carols for the Ps
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
Only In NEW YORK
AND ITS CHEAPER THAN BUYING A
MOTHER SUPERIOR
Funny Links
Games
Games 2




The Diary of a Cat


  NEW! Poetry and Doll Maker with Galleries!     [Learn About Our Ecommerce]
Graphics Gallery!

DAY 752: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow, I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761: Today, my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded...must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 762: Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep-depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765: Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a 'good little cat' I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

DAY 768: I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason, I was chosen for the water torture. This time, however, it included a burning, foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771: There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774: I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...


Spider

spider023@aol.com


Sign Guestbook

View Guestbook

Domain Lookup
         www..
Get www.yourdomainofchoice.com for your site with services!




.

 
Any WordAll WordsExact Phrase
This SiteAll Sites
Visitors: 02920
Page Updated Tue Jan 22, 2002 7:33pm EST

Home of Spider's Jokes | A Blonde Puzzle | Apple VS Microsoft | Blank Greeting Card Messages | We Dont Serve Bears | The Diary of a Cat | On the Roof | The Final Exam From Hell | Dumb Criminals | Monkey Wrench | Redneck Medical Terms | When in Rome | Smart Mother | Prison vs Work | Mystery of the Ugly Duckling | Breakfast Trouble | Feline Alien Attacks Fence | Why Not a Blonde Joke | In the Year 1900 | SAYINGS | Winnie the Pooh Needs Help | TACKLE SHOP | The Horse Race | Shark | A December Story from Russia | Kids Say the Crappiest Things | Walker Texas Salesman | Hunting Lawyers | The Rednecks Babies | American History | A Short History of Medicine | Boxes in Four wheel drive | getting pulled over | Stupid as in not Smart | Fruitcake Recipe | Blonde in Space | Rednecks Babies | Ideas of friends | The Bell Ringer | BLONDE IN DENIAL | An Amish Transformation | The Bar Bet | An Ethnic Survivor Episode | You might be a Redneck If | Washing The Cat | NYC Tourism Rules | Daughters Date | Blonde Kidnapping | You might be a school teacher | 16 Fun things to do in class | Years best T Shirt slogans | MeMail Monday | Sailor in a bar | McDonalds | ATM | batteries | The intern | car dealership | IDIOTS AT WORK | IDIOTS and COMPUTERS | Hes lying | IDIOTS ARE EASY TO PLEASE | The Rules of Chocolate | Carpet Layer | Everybody Somebody Anybody | Three Nurses | Baseball Season | Idiots They Walk Among Us | Cars Bumper Sticker | Saving The Prez | BEST NEWSPAPER HEADLINES EVER | Bill Gates Advice | The Statue | Cops Grant Wishes | The Difference Between Rookie | YET ANOTHER REASON NOT TO USE | Duck Joke | Biblical Bumper Stickers | school joke | The lost Dr Seuss Book | Apology | Marriage | RETURN OF THE BEATLES | Cartoon Character Test | How To Get Rich | Only For Canadians | Rejected Rejection | A Politically Correct Holiday | Chet the Parrot | The Four Stages Of Life | Conduct During the HolidayS | Christmas Carols for the Ps | Breaking Up Is Hard To Do | Only In NEW YORK | AND ITS CHEAPER THAN BUYING A | MOTHER SUPERIOR | Funny Links | Games | Games 2