1. Sit in the front row and spend the lecture filing your teeth into sharp points.
2. Sit in the front and color in your textbook.
3. Introduce yourself to the class as the "master of the pan flute".
4. Wear earmuffs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to speak louder.
5. Squint thoughtfully while giving the professor strange looks.
In the middle of the lecture, tell him he looks familiar and
ask if he was ever in an episode of Starsky and Hutch.
6. Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test.
If the professor says no, rip the pages out of your textbook.
7. Sing your questions.
8. Speak only in rhymes and hum the Brady Bunch theme.
9. When the professor calls roll, after each name scream,
"THATS MEEEEE! Oh, no, sorry."
10. Page through the textbook scratching each picture and sniffing it.
11. Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters "CHECK YOUR FLY".
12. Inform the class that you are Belgian royalty, and have a friend
bang cymbals together whenever your name is spoken.
13. Address the professor as "Your Excellency".
14. Sit in the front, sniff suspiciously, and ask the professor if he's been drinking.
15. Shout "WOW!" after every sentence of the lecture.
16. Ask whether you have to come to class.
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