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| Rob: When I grow up I wanna be a millionaire. I'll own a big mansion without any bathrooms. John: Why no bathrooms? Rob: Cos I wanna be FILTHY rich! Girlfriend: I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty. Do you think it's vanity? Dave: No- just imagination. Mother: Did you thank Mrs. Smith for inviting you to the party? Boy: No- the boy in front of me said "Thank you" and she said "Don't mention it"- so I didn't. Mother: When Mrs. Weatherbee gave you an orange what did you say? Boy: Peel it! Girlfriend: Did you notice how the opera singer's voice filled the hall? Alec: Yes- and I also noticed how many people left to make room for it!! Girlfriend: Now that we've decided to get engaged, I hope you give me a ring. Boyfriend: Of course... what's your phone number? Sister: I heard a loud noise this morning... Brother: Must've been the crack of dawn! Teacher: We all know that a comet is a star with a tail. Name one. Boy: Lassie! Kindergarten Teacher: In the alphabet, what comes after O? Little Student: YEAH! Girl: We had to have our dog put down. Boy: Was it mad? Girl: Well, it wasn't exactly happy, you know! Captain of Fottie team: Why didn't you bother to stop the ball???? Goalie: I figured that's what the net is there for! Teacher: How can you prove that the world is round? Student: I never claimed it was sir. Student: Would you punish a kid for something he didn't do? Teacher: Of course not! Student: Good... I didn't do my homework. Sergeant: What were you before you joined the army? New Recruit: Happy! Headmaster: I suppose this horrible picture is what you call modern art? Student: No it's actually a mirror! Boy with Ego: Girls fall in love with me at first sight! Girl: Yeah I know- it's the sights after that that they can't stand you! Carol: I want to fight air pollution. James: You could start by not breathing. Gwen: Harry would never hurt a fly. Patrick: You're right... He prefers humans. Mother: Shall I put the kettle on? Father: No the dress you're wearing now is fine. Click here to vote for this site |
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