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slickwilly2GARAGE INC|
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| SO, YOU FOUND MY SEKUNT PAGE HUH? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW? HOW BOUT SIGNING MY GUEST BOOK SO YOU WONT DIE! WHAT!?....YOU'VE ALREADY SIGNED IT!?.....WELL, DO IT AGAIN YOU TREE-HUGGING-HIPPIE!!!!!! WHILE YOU ARE AT IT, CHECK OUT SOME FARTS. IT WOULD BE BEST IF YOU HAVE A SOUND CARD(IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN). HERE ARE SOME OF MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE UNANSWERED QUESTIONS * Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? * Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? * Why are highways called highways when they are on the ground? * Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? * Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? * If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? * Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? * Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? * If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? * If a cow laughed, would milk come out HER nose? * If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? * If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen? * If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? (Actually, I know the answer to this one....the light from the headlights would travel ahead of you at the speed of light, regardless of the speed of it's source!!) * Most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"? * Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? * Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? * Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? * You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? * Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? * Why are apartments called apartments when they are all stuck together? * Why are buildings called buildings when they are already constructed; shouldn't they be called "built"? *If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? *If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? *If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? *Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing nightgowns? *If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? *Why is it that when we bounce a check, the bank charges us more of what they already know we don't have any of? *When someone asks you "a penny for your thoughts" and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? *Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? *Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with. *When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? *If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillips Screwdriver? *Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? *Why can't you make another word using all the letters in "anagram"? *Why is it that no word in the English language rhymes with month, orange,silver, carpet, or purple? *Why, when I wind up my watch, I start it; but when I wind up a project, I end it? *Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital? *Why do we say something is out of whack? What is whack? *Why don't tomb, comb, and bomb sound alike? *Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? *If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible? *Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one? *"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? *If the singular of GEESE is GOOSE, shouldn't a Portuguese person be called a Portugoose? *Why is a procrastinator's work never done? *If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed? *Do Roman paramedics refer to IVs as "4's"? *Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe him, but if he tells you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure? *Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because it's much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs? *If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? *If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?" BACK TO HOME PAGE |
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