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50 Fun Things to do in an Exam

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say, "Oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming, "Andre, Andre! I have got the secret documents!"

3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it a long answer/essay form, answer it with numbers and symbols.

4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I am SOOO sure you can hear me thinking!" Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

6. Bring cheerleaders.

7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I do not understand ANY of this. I have been to every lecture all semester long! What is the deal? And who the heck are you? Where is the regular guy?"

8. Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc...). Play the volume at max level.

9. On the answer sheet (book, etc...) find a new interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs.Be creative.

10. Bring pets.

11. Run into the room that you are taking the exam in looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say, "They have found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

12. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas. If you are really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

13. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

14. Come down with a BAD case of Turrets Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

15. Come into the exam, wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head and nothing else.

16. Do the entire exam in another language. If you do not know one, make one up. For math/science exams, try using roman numerals.

17. Bring things to throw at the instructor when he/she is not looking. Blame it on the person next to you.

18. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

19. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.

20. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, and move to another seat. Continue with the exam.

21. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

22. Do the entire exam as if was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things. (DCCAB. BABE. etc...)

23. Bring a black marker, return the exam with all the questions and answers completely blacked out.

24. Get the exam. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out, "Screw this!" and walk out triumphantly.

25. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (e.g. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone is done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.

26. Show up completely drunk. (Completely drunk means that at some point during the exam you should start crying for mommy.)

27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

28. Say to the instructor as you get the exam, "you look great! Have you lost weight?"

29. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling, "I am here, the phantom of the opera" until he/she/they drag you away.

30. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for the right to take the exam.

31. Upon receiving the exam, look it over while laughing loudly, say "you do not really expect me to waste my time on drivel? Days of Our Lives is on!"

32. Bring a water pistol.

33. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When he/she finally gets you to leave one way or the another, begin whistling the theme to "It's a Small World".

34. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.

35. If the exam is math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations, If it a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

36. Come in wearing a full knights outfit, complete with sword and shield.

37. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist that this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.

38. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER EXAM (make sure you make this obvious... like history noted for a calculus exam... otherwise you are not just failing, you are getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

39. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.

40. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question and ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

41. One word: Wrestlemania.

42. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.

43. Try to get the room to do the wave.

44. Play frisbee with a friend on the other side of the room.

45. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Out it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

46. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, etc... sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

47. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

48. Complete the exam with everything you write begin backwards at a 90 degree angle.

49. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop say "it helps me think". Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments. Do not forget the phrase "Told you so".

50. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reason Why Professor xxxx Sucks".

gromitka@hotmail.com

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Page Updated Sat Apr 10, 1999 5:39pm EDT