Personal - http://maxpages.com/sharkinfested/Barts_Blackboard

Here are some of the funniest quotes from the blackboard in springfield. :0)

*I will not instigate revolution

*I will not draw naked ladies in class

*I did not see Elvis

*I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom

*They are laughing at me, not with me

*I will not encourage others to fly

*I will not belch the National Anthem

*I will not sell land in Florida

*High explosives and school don't mix

*I will not bribe Principal Skinner

*Underwear should be worn on the inside

*The Christmas Pageant does not stink

*I will not torment the emotionally frail

*I will not carve gods

*I will not barf unless I'm sick

*I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty

*I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge

*I will not conduct my own fire drills

*Funny noises are not funny

*I will not spin the turtle

*I will not snap bras

*I will not fake seizures

*This punishment is not boring and pointless

*My name is not Dr. Death

*I will not bring sheep to class

*A burp is not an answer

*Teacher is not a leper

*The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee

*I will not call the principal "spud head"

*Goldfish don't bounce

*Mud is not one of the 4 food groups

*No one is interested in my underpants

*I will not sell miracle cures

*I will return the seeing-eye dog

*I will not charge admission to the bathroom

*I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers

*My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man

*Organ transplants are best left to the professionals

*The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan

*I will not celebrate meaningless milestones

*There are plenty of businesses like show business

*I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League Baseball

*Five days is not too long to wait for a gun

*Beans are neither fruit nor musical

*I will not send lard through the mail

*I will not dissect things unless instructed

*Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough

*Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal

*"Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice

*Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does

*Next time it could be me on the scaffolding

*I will not strut around like I own the place

*The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far

*I do not have power of attorney over first graders

*Nerve gas is not a toy

*I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface

*The First Amendment does not cover burping

*"Bewitched" does not promote Satanism

*No one wants to hear from my armpits

*I am not a lean mean spitting machine

*The boys room is not a water park

*Indian burns are not our cultural heritage

*I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist

*I am not certified to remove asbestos

*I did not learn everything I need to know in kindergarten

*I am not my long-lost twin

*I will not hide the teacher's Prozac

*I will not lie in front of the school bus with ketchup on my face

*A fire drill does not demand a fire

*There was no Roman god named "Fartacus"

*Rudolph's red nose is not alcohol-related

*Shooting paintballs is not an art form

*My butt does not deserve a website

*"butt.butt" is not my E-mail address

*"The President did it" is not an excuse

*It does not suck to be you

*I have neither been there nor done that

*Fridays are not "pants optional"

*I did not win the Nobel Fart Prize

*I won't not use no double negatives

*I can't see dead people

*My suspension was not "mutual"

*A belch is not an oral report

*Dodgeball stops at the gym door

*"Non-Flammable" is not a challenge

*I was not touched "there" by an angel

*I am not here on a fartball scholarship

*I will not dance on anyone's grave

*I cannot hire a substitute student

*I will not obey the voices in my head

*I will not surprise the incontinent

*I was not the sixth Beatle

*I will only provide a urine sample when asked

*Science class should not end in tragedy

*I will not "let the dogs out"

*I will not hide the teacher's medication

*The hamster did not have "a full life"

*I will not flush evidence

*I should not be twenty-one by now

(He would be 21 in the 12th season if he was 10 in the first season, which ended in 1990, and he aged normally)

courtesy of www.geocities.com/simpsons_guide

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