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| CIA, FBI and LAPD | The Examination | |
| The LAPD, the FBI and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all of the plant and animal witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that the rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!" |
An elderly married couple scheduled their annual medical examination the same day so they could travel together. After the examination, the doctor then said to the elderly man: "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like discuss with me?" "In fact, I do," said the man. "After I have sex with my wife for the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty. And then, after I have sex with my wife the second time, I am usually cold and chilly." "This is very interesting," replied the doctor. "Let me do some research and get back to you." After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said: "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?" The lady replied that she had no questions nor concerns. The doctor then said: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex the first time with you and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?" "Oh that old buzzard!" she replied. "That`s because the first time is usually in July and the second time is usually in December!" |
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