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"PURR"-LITICAL CORRECTNESS: SAY IT NICELY, OR NOT AT ALL!

In the state of political correctness, nobody is ever "short,"
they are simply "vertically challenged." No one is a
"housekeeper," they are "domestic engineers." "See how we can
apply this "game" to the many activities of our cats:

--My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a floor/rug redecorator.

--My cat does not break things, she helps gravity do its job.

--My cat does not fear dogs, they are merely sprint practice
tools.

--My cat does not gobble, she eats with alacrity.

--My cat does not scratch, he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator.

--My cat does not yowl, he is singing off-key.

--My cat is not a "shedding machine", she is a hair relocation
stylist.

--My cat is not a "treat-seeking missile," she enjoys the
proximity of food.

--My cat is not a bed hog, he is a mattress appreciator.

--My cat is not a chatterbox, she is advising me on what to
do next.

--My cat is not a dope addict, she is catnip appreciative.

--My cat is not a lap fungus, he is bed selective.

--My cat is not a pest, she is attention deprived.

--My cat is not a ruthless hunter, she is a wildlife control
expert.

--My cat is not evil, she is badness enhanced.

--My cat is not fat, he is mass enhanced.

--My cat is not hydrophobic, she has an inability to appreciate
moisture.

--My cat is not lazy, he is motivationally challenged.

--My cat is not underfoot, she is shepherding me to my next
destination (the food dish).

SelenaSAL@aol.com

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Page Updated Sun Jul 15, 2001 1:11pm EDT