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  CLICK HERE TO READ MY SEARCH INFO! CLICK HERE TO GO TO ADOPTION LINKS! CLICK HERE TO GO TO ADOPTION WEBRINGS! CLICK HERE TO GO TO PA ADOPTION LAWS!AN ADOPTEES POEM Once there were two women Who never knew each other One you do not remember The other you call mother Two different lives shaped to make yours one One became your shining star The other became your sun The first gave you life and the second taught you to live in it The first gave you a need for love And the second was there to give it One gave you nationality The other gave you a name One gave you the seed of talent The other gave you aim One gave you emotions the other calmed your fears One saw your first smile the other dried your tears One gave you up - it was all she could do The other prayed for a child And God led her to you And now you ask me through the tears The age old questions through the years Heredity or Environment - which are you a product? Neither my darling - neither Just two different kinds of love! Anonymous FOR MY SAKE I dream of you nearly every night, Looking down on me - eyes so bright, With the tears you must have shed, At the decision you had to make, For my sake, I wonder at the thought of you, What did you look like? You favorite thing to do? Was your hair dark like mine? Did your dark eyes shine With the thought of this new life Growing under your heart? What was it that I don't yet understand That made it necessary for us to part? For my sake. When you carried me, Did you tell me of all the things I'd do and see? People I'd meet, the woman I'd grow up to be? Did you tell me how much I was loved? Did you pray to God above, That I would be cared for, And loved, And protected, as you were unable to do, For my sake. As I write this for you, my mother, I think of all the things I would tell you, What my life has been like, The things I like to do. I would tell you of the closeness I feel to you, Do you feel it, too? I would tell you of the woman I'm trying to be. Because, you see, I must think of these things, For my sake. So, my search will end now, Because this is what's best, And I will know you one day, Whether in this life, or the next. Someday I will understand all the things That have been kept in the dark. That you did what you did, Not as a lark. But because your love for me was so deep, And so great. That you broke you own heart, Not out of selfish desire, But for my sake. Written by B. Buck, August 1993. A POEM OF ADOPTION FEELINGS & PRAYERS As I sit and I read the e-mail today, I wonder why it seems so far away. All we want is to know who we are, Nothing is asked that's to hard to do. Just look one more time, help see me through this I'm alone by myself. Where is that one Who looks just like me could this be the one? The one who will find what I've searched for so long? I don't want much, but it would be so nice to have a sister or brother, A mom and a dad who know me and knew me before I was born. My thoughts they are rambling and ever so lost. I don't want much, just to know who i am? What is my heritage? My background in life? Was I of love or of hate or just out of spite? What is it that makes me what I am? Genetics or Environment or something out of a can? Each fact that I find just confuses me more. I'm tired of the lies, and the walls and much more Time to check again and see if theres something for me. Hey someone, an angel, is willing to look to see if I'm found in a little old book. Excitment sets in as I wait in suspense. To be Adopted can sure be the pits! No one is talking, no one can tell, it might be their job, it might mean jail!! But if people would listen and listen well, They would hear a great noise or maybe a wail from those who are sick, With inhereted diseases, genetical flaws, maybe just wheezes. Just a peek at a file would be all that was needed, To maybe be cured or to stop the pain, to live. And it starts all over again. It's time to check the mail again. I hope my angel has been able to find something. Perhaps.............Perhaps.......... Alas and again someone messed it all up. Yes you were adopted, like you're a puppy or something Should we all join an organization? Like a kennel club of adoptees all panting in the window????? But no, we are on the outside looking in At a world we can't join until we are complete. There is something missing in us, You can't touch it or see it. But it's a feeling from within, Located deep in our souls, That no one who's not like us could ever feel or understand. They don't realize just how much it means. What would it be like if they were us? Could they take it, and live it without cracking up? We keep on and we band together, through tears, lies And all types of stormy weather..... Together we grow and we hollar real loud, For people to open up our records so we can be proud. Of our heritage, or our parents and mayhap we'll find, a brother or sister, That would be so nice.... Well my thoughts they have scrambled and given me fits, So I guess nows a good time to call it all quits... And go once again to the great highway of info and See if the mail has brought good news or bad. But I hope I can take it and stand on my own feet, But if I cannot I can share it with you, One of the chosen, the few The ones who understand. The adopted who have adapted and are trying to change, The world that once called us children of shame.... I'm not of shame For I'm proud and I'm strong I'm one of the many, the ones who belong.... You all can go 'bout your business of life As for me and my friends we'll be searching tonight!!!!! Written by Nancy Ann Deaton Schweigart, © 1996 FAIRY TALES I find my mind slipping back, to when I was young, I thought and free, I still believed in fairy tales, and black and white dichotomy. I bought the whole sweet story of the perfect family, I watched "Leave it to Beaver" I believed in "Donna Reed". In innocence, I trusted, when they took my child away, That "God" was the childrens bureau and let my fears, be stayed. I did not see two strangers, rather angels, from above, A Mr. and Mrs. Perfect, who gave perfect love. And since they were so flawless, then the truth must surely be, that my child would be better off with these two, than me. I believed the pretty story, Yet my grief was oh so stong, (I thought the grief was something else, about me, that was wrong) When other illusions shattered, I held on to this one, for somehow I had to be at peace, And content with what I had done. Now, finally, I'm learning, that the once fool-proof charade, was make believe and tinsel a Thanksgiving Day parade. That Mr. and Mrs. Perfect, That faultless, flawless pair, Lived as humans in the same old world, and breath the same hot air. That you worked at happy endings that there were no guarantees, that we all needto open eyes, and hearts and minds to see... The children and the Mothers as they, all three ,truly are, Lives altered by a fairy tale, Hopes hung upon a star. Now I sit in wonder, and hold my daughters hand, and hear her call me "Mother" at last I understand. The unreal dreams of yesterday, and I can't let them be, I no longer need their fairy tales the truth was inside of me. Robin K. Westbrook 6/11/93 CLICK HERE TO READ MY SEARCH INFO! CLICK HERE TO GO TO ADOPTION LINKS! CLICK HERE TO GO TO ADOPTION WEBRINGS! CLICK HERE TO GO TO PA ADOPTION LAWS! |
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