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| THE GRAY RIBBON CAMPAIGN |
| "Graying with Grace, A Ribbon Runs Through It" |
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 "  raying With race, A Ribbon Runs Through It" THE STORYIn the summer of 1999, members of "Saving Grace" discussed how incidents of elderly abuse, neglect, fraud and exploitation were not only rampant but awareness was lacking. An idea emerged for the "Graying With Grace, A Ribbon Runs Through It", Gray Ribbon Campaign. A few of us tied gray ribbons on our cars to begin promoting the use of the gray ribbon, similiar to the pink ribbon used by those promoting the breast Cancer Awareness campaign. (Some of us had to use silver ribbons and gray yarn.) On-line and in letters, "Saving Grace" connected to a few others across the nation and in Canada. With the help of these persons, the Gray Ribbon Campaign,  "Graying With Grace, A Ribbon Runs Through It"was launched. ****************************************************************************************** Copyright © 1999 - 2000 Greying With Grace. All rights reserved No reproduction or republication without written permission. Copyright © 1999 - 2000 Grey Ribbon Campaign. All rights reserved No reproduction or republication without written permission. ******************************************************************************************* |
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   "GRAYING WITH GRACE, A RIBBON RUNS THROUGH IT"THE FOLLOWING IS A LIST OF PERSONS AND ORGANIZATIONS WHO HAVE COME TOGETHER FOR EDUCATION, ADVOCACY AND SUPPORT PURPOSES, SO THAT WE MAY HELP AND BENEFIT EACH OTHER IN BRINGING AWARENESS TO THE ISSUE OF ELDERLY ABUSE, NEGLECT AND EXPLOITATION. "GRAYING WITH GRACE", A RIBBON RUNS THROUGH IT" IS A CAMPAIGN TO HELP BRING KNOWLEDGE AND AWARENESS TO OUR COMMUNITIES, THE NATION,AND TO THE WORLD THIS IS A "GRASSROOTS" ADVOCACY COOPERATIVE MEASURE. JOIN IN THIS IMPORTANT AND TIMELY AWARENESS ACTIVITY BY DISPLAYING OR WEARING A GRAY RIBBON AND SHARING YOUR STORIES AND INFORMATION WITH OTHERS. THE FOLLOWING IS A LIST OF PERSONS AND GROUPS WHO SUPPORT THE "GRAYING WITH GRACE" CAMPAIGN WE CALL OURSELVES, FOR LACK OF A BETTER DESCRIPTION, "THE MOTLEY CREW" AS WE COME FROM ALL WALKS OF LIFE, HAVE DIFFERENT REASONS AND VARIOUS HISTORIES BROUGHT US TOGETHER. HOWEVER, THERE IS ONE ISSUE WE HAVE IN COMMON, A STRONG AND DEDICATED CONCERN WITH AND ADVOCACY AGAINST ALL FORMS OF ELDERLY ABUSE. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE IN THIS MOVEMENT PLEASE SEND US YOUR NAME. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO DEDICATE YOUR "GRAY RIBBON' PROJECT TO A "GRACE" IN YOUR LIFE PLEASE INCLUDE A NAME AND PERHAPS A FEW WORDS ABOUT THAT PERSON. LET US KNOW YOUR STORY AND HOW YOU ARE USING THE GRAY RIBBON IN YOUR COMMUNITY TO SUPPORT ADVOCACY AGAINST ELDER ABUSE. grace@vcn.com WE WOULD LIKE TO PUBLISH PICTURES AND STORIES AND IN THIS WAY WE CAN FERRET OUT THE NUMEROUS AND OFTEN SUBTLE AND SUBVERSIVE FORMS OF ELDER ABUSE. OR E-MAIL YOUR ORGANIZATION AND NAME AND WE WILL PUT YOUR NAME ON OUR LIST OF SUPPORTERS. THANK YOU. "THE MOTLEY CREW" OR SEE "GRAYING WITH GRACE" AT THE SENIOR SUPPORT SITE WARNING: THIS SITE CONTAINS GRAPHIC IMAGES OF ELDERLY ABUSE AND NEGLECT IN NURSING HOMES. PLEASE JOIN US IN BRINGING AWARENESS TO THIS PROBLEM THAT IS BEING SWEPT UNDER THE RUG AND HIDDEN IN THE CLOSETS. WE WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU TO PLEASE PONDER IF YOU WILL, PARTICULARLY THE FLYER ON THE COMPARISON OF NURSING HOME ABUSE AND NEGLECT WITH THAT OF CONCENTRATION CAMPS IN THE FIRST HALF OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY. (COMPILED BY ILA SWAN OF APE, ASSOCIATION TO PROTECT THE ELDERLY) http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Rhodes/9965/  OUR ELDER ARE VICTIMS AND IT MUST STOP.  CBS NEWSTracking Abuse In Nursing Homes Many Homes Cited For Serious Violations One Woman Accused Caretaker Of Abuse PLEASE JOIN USPROMOTE THE GRAY RIBBON CAMPAIGN.  THANK YOU. FOR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT: CONTACT grace@vcn.com CONTACT AND INFORMATION ON "GRAYING WITH GRACE, A RIBBON RUNS THROUGH IT" GRAY RIBBON CAMPAIGN This site is not affliated with "the Gray ribbon" but we include it as we felt it an excellent way to also honor our Mothers.   THE INTERNATIONAL MOTHER'S HALL OF FAMEBACKGROUND Motley Crew Member Margaret A. Massey, better know by Peggy to her friends. I have dedicated Senior Support Network to my loving 95 year young Mother, Clara McCarty, who is presently residing at Palm Garden of Clearwater, Clearwater, Florida. Senior Support Network offers Clara's Personal Page which gives personal history about her. Some in abstract short story form, for I saw no other way to express the inhumane suffering she has experienced in her last years while imprisoned, and warehoused in a nursing home environment until her death. I simply could not find the appropriate words to describe her inner pain and suffering. WHY I DO WHAT I DO In 1996, although I was opposed, the majority ruled and Mother entered the nursing home for the first time. I was naive as to what to expect in a nursing home setting and found myself at the mercy of staff. For a long while being sold on manipulative staff tactics, required long days, nights, and week ends, to oversee Mother's care. Even at that, I couldn't spare her from unnecessary pain and suffering. Within one year, Mother had unexplained bruises, countless falls when trying to assist herself to the bathroom at night, hospitalized for a fractured pelvis, untreated urinary tract infection, and untreated flu. Ultimately, invasive surgery and an unnecessary feeding tube, plus a pureed diet which Mother detested. All due to majority rule of family members who were not the primary caregiver. I witnessed falsifying of records, and blatant fraud. Medical records classifying mother as being incontinent, which she wasn't, so to slap diapers on her for convenience of staff when I wasn't there, to manipulating records to recertify unnecessary Medicare rehabilitation. Not mentioning unnecessary physical and chemical restraints for staff convenience. Abuse, and indignities to vast to expose here. ABOUT OUR ORGANIZATION AND HOW WE SUPPORT THE GRAY RIBBON CAMPAIGN Senior Support Network was developed after years of research verifying suspected abuse, exploitation, FRAUD, and inhumane treatment of nursing home residents. In an effort to learn the difference between truth and fable required studying Federal and State law, reading hundreds of various professional medical journals, and searching archives, etc. In light of my finding, and thoroughly understanding that Clara's case is not an isolated case, but in fact, abuse, exploitation, and FRAUD is a national issue, and crisis, prompted Senior Support Network to team up with the National Gray Ribbon Campaign to bring awareness to these issues. In support of this campaign and to publicly expose this crime, Senior Support Network offers valuable resources to enlighten and prevent the pitfalls of family's falling into, being succumbed by, the beguiling lure a nd as par usual mentality by staff, and other professionals, that our loved ones are receiving the best of care possible, when if fact, they are being abused, exploited, neglected, and used as pawns. Too often staff are under pressure by "For Profit" nursing home owners to commit fraud for job security. Outside of supporting the National Gray Ribbon Campaign, SSN is working with Resident Councils in nursing facilities and developing councils were none exist, and promoting public interest for necessary funding to give our loved ones a choice, whether to LIVE with their caring families, vs. impersonal and inadequate nursing home care. FAMILY MEMBERS WHO SUPPORT OUR EFFORT Thanks to my children, Patricia, Thomas, Scott (who assisted in the technical development of Senior Support Network), Joseph,--and Jonathan, (who with the help of his TV Production teacher, Christine Hart, employed by our local CBS station, both responsible for the lovely picture of Clara on Claras Personal Page. (I added the extra illuminating light representing eternal life.) And Ed my husband, who is in full understanding and support of our issues. Also, to others throughout the nation who are supporting the effort of Senior Support Network and the Gray Ribbon Campaign. Without the support of friends and family Senior Support would not exist. Thank you all! CONTACT INFORMATION: peggymam@btitelecom.net www.angelfire.com/fl2/SeniorSupportNetwork . ASSOCIATION TO PROTECT THE ELDERLY http://www.apeape.org/ or the addresses listed under ADVOCACY. HOW YOU CAN HELP NOW! Tell us your story at the Nursing Home Abuse Message Board found at the Elderly Place or Tell us how you are using the gray ribbon to promote elderly awareness for "Graying With Grace" If you would like to be included as a supporter of this campaign please e-mail us at  grace@vcn.com |
Motley Crew Member-Michele Lucier Rivero BACKGROUND I took an interest in the elderly as a young child growing up in Massachusetts, often visiting the NH in town to talk to the elderly people. When I was in my early 20's, I applied for a job as an activity assistant director in a NH, with no experience, only an eagerness tolearn and work with the elderly. I was hired on that alone to my surprise. I worked at activity jobs as I returned to college to study Occupational Therapy, at my sisters advice. (she is an OT as well). I spent a total of 5 years in activities, eventually becoming AD, then moving onto an OT position after I graduated. After working in LTC for 2years, I re-located to Calif. to care for my ex-mother in-law, who was dying of liver cancer. When I began working out here, and saw the horrendus conditions, I was horrified. I went to work one day, and REALLY opened my eyes at what was going on around me. I am ashamed to admit I once was one of the many workers in these places who got de-sensitized to the inhumanity around me daily while I was back east. I was also ignorant to the workings of bureaurocracy. As I watched my mother in-law, and best friend wither away before me daily, and saw her intense fight for life, I became inspired. The day she died was thesaddest day of my life, but it changed my life, and my focus. The anger within boiled up as I went to work daily and tried to help these poor elders, and was always criticized for it, to the point where I had had enough of doing nothing. I thought "Why NOT me? Why am I waiting for others to make a change? I am just as capable as they are!" So, I began my crusade, constantly jumping over the negative comments from co-workers and family, to save the elderly, and even suffering the retaliation of being a "whistleblower" when I reported an pts. abuse, a task I was MANDATED as a healthcare worker to do BY LAW. This made no sense to me. I needed to learn more. Then I got on-line, and I met some GREAT folks through an elderly caregiving site I wrote a commentary on elder abuse. We talked about what we could do as a cohesive unit to make a change. "The Gray Ribbon" was one such thing. Over time, these folks have become my allies, my co-workers, my support system, and my "family". They gave me hope. I had lost faith that good people did still exist in this world. Today, I am happy to report I have left the healthcare field as aprofession. \I am now just concentrating on the elder abuse cause, and working alongside many others to make a change. I am a proud "Execuive Advocate board member" of APE-Assoc. Protecting the Elderly, and have a web site geared to helping the fight. PLEASE CONTACT MICHELE AT abusedelders@msn.comDEDICATION: TO LUCY Read the News and Connect With News Resources Become Informed NEWS RESOURCESOJR'S GUIDE TO JOURNALISTIC RESOURCEShttp://ojr.usc.edu/content/resources/jlinks.htm |
Linda Blare is another member of the "Motley Crew". My father, Doc Blare was in the trucking business from the time he was fifteen or so until he was almost 85 years old, owning and managing his trucking business out of Martin, South Dakota, until he sold out in 1994. My father might have trucked on until he could go no more, although his health was beginning to fail, but my mother, Grace, healthy physically, became more and more cognitively-impaired to the point my Dad could no longer care for her. My father, Doc, hauled all sorts of livestock including horses and cattle, grain, cement, freight, even elk and buffalo. He pioneered the trucking business in this state and could tell stories that read like the history of trucking to his kids, his grandkids, and actually to anyone who would take awhile and just sit and listen. Our Dad always had time for a story! He was the oldest trucker in South Dakota: newspaper articles were written about him and the Sioux Falls television station did a small segment on my father. He was a strong man, stubborn and opinionated, hard-working and although we all feared him, we all loved him. My father passed away on Easter Sunday 1998, at my sister's home under the vigilant care of many of the members of our family including grandsons and granddaughters in their teens and twenties, who took their turn, caring and working day and night to make our Father and Grandfather's final days and moments on this earth as comfortable and loving as we possibly could. Over the years, they worked hard and saved a more than comfortable amount for these final years. My mother and my father were always there for their kids and both loved their grandchildren. In 1995 began a long struggle and battle with our brother to care for our ageing parents. We could find no care that satisfied my father, mother or the family and my younger sister began to care for our parents. Our father just was not satisfied with care situations, as he was a very independent man. When my parents were moved from my sister's it was the last really loving daily care my parents were to receive for a very long time. Since our parents required very different types of care it was always difficult to find places for them to live and stay together. Sometimes, it was a good place for my father, but not such a positive place for our elderly, cognitively-impaired mother to receive care. Our one brother,in the opinion of the sisters and many others of the family, began to cause many problems. Ultimately, my parents were put under the South Dakota Guardianship Program and my mother in the Dorsett Home in Spearfish, S.D. It became the worse period of my life, trying to get our mother the care that we felt she deserved from this guardian- ship program and from this nursing home. For the most part, the guardianship ignored our concerns, or so it seemed to us and we were told to turn our mother over to the "professionals." On one occasion we found that our mother had been taken to the emergency ward with high blood pressure and a possible stroke. We found this out, on the sly, from an aide at the home who told us as she thought we ought to know. Another time our mother fell, causing the worse bruises I have ever seen on my mother. We were notified by e-mail two days later. Even though she cried in pain from the bruises caused by this fall we found, when we visited that she had been given no additional pain meds that what she had formerly received for her arthritis. On another occasion after we took our mother to lunch following a care conference, something we often did, we found, later that the word "kidnapping" had arisen concerning this visit. It was a horrible, terribly painful time for our mother and for us. I truly believe that only the most cruel of human beings would ever put an elderly loved one, and their family through such pain, suffering and torment. For our mother and for many of her family, there were never enough tears! The guardianship did little for our mother for most of the time, or so it seemed to us, and the home was less than good, in my opinion, and many of the rest of our family. There is nothing worse than seeing and feeling that your mother is neglected and not getting what she deserves and needs. There is nothing worse than seeing someone you love so needy and not be able to get anyone to hear, or often it seemed, to care to hear your concerns more than perfunctory and superficial allowances of input. The guardian and this program were not open, at least, until the final few months to what we had to say and seemed to care little for our mother. (We did get some help and concern from the local Ombudsman program, who seemed to act in a fair and legitimate way towards the family. And later, the South Dakota Advocacy Program. For these individuals, I am eternally grateful. I am also grateful for Governor Janklow who referred us to the South Dakota Advocacy Program). However, in that long hard summer of 1999, it seemed that there was no hope for anything to change. Hearing from others and seeing my own mother I had come to the realization that there seemed no one out there to hear or help. Thus, a small group in SD started the "Graying With Grace" A Ribbon Runs Through It Campaign, to bring awareness to the isssues of neglect and abuse that we felt we had seen in our parents lives and in others we talked to and heard about. I dedicate all I do to my mother Grace, a good and God-fearing woman who worked hard all her life driving rural mail route 6 days a week in rain, hail, sleet, snow. She has battled tornadoes, mud, bad bridges, construction workers, snakes, skunks and various health problems but the mail got through. I am proud of my mother and she did not deserve what has happened to her. Thus, the Gray Ribbon Campaign, "Graying With Grace, A Ribbon Runs Through It" began to help create awareness so that what happened to her will not happen to another good human being and their family. Together with some good people in other states we join to carry this message where ever we may go by wearing and displaying a gray ribbon. Converstions are started and awareness begins. With Awareness comes Advocacy and Support for Change. My family, Travis, Maxx and Jordan join me. My Sisters, Darlene and Jeri and their families, Mike, Yonikel, Jayde, Mariah, Tel and Joni and many friends we have known over the years also join us in promoting awareness of elder abuse, fraud, exploitation and neglect. (Linda is an Executive Board Member of the Association for Protection of the Elderly. She has a Bachelor of Science Degree in Secondary Education with majors in Social Science and Communications. Her background includes experience as Skills Trainer, Vocational Specialist, and Case Manager working with the Developmentally Disabled and was a past Co-Chair of the Self-Esteem Council of Campbell County. Prior to the problems arising with her parents she was working on her Master's in Curriculum Development.) The following is a poem Linda's daughter wrote for her grandmother last spring. It is a story of our family's pain, heartbreak, grief, and how the effects of "watchdogging" the care for elderly loved ones can effect the entire family. It is the story of how her daughter feels about what she sees. It is why we have joined with others in the "GRAYING WITH GRACE, A RIBBON RUNS THROUGH IT" CAMPAIGN "SAVING GRACE"By  Jordan Welling age 12 years Saving Grace Everyday Finding Hope And finding a Way. We will fight 'til we can fight no more. She deserves to be treated WELL! She deserves MORE! We must all have courage And NO DOUBT We must stand up And find the way out. There is no competition or no race. Because One Day, for Sure We will have Saved Grace Dedicated to my Grandma GraceA Resident of Dorsett Home Spearfish, South Dakota (Grace Blare, after what seemed like an eternity, is now living with her youngest daughter, who is also her guardian. Grace looks ten years younger, at least, since she has been moved from the nursing home to home care. She is happy and receiving good personal and medical care, at long last. She is not incontinent as the nursing home insisted, her blood pressure is normal, way under the 150's and 160's over 100 plus that the nursing home demanded was "normal" for our mother and her arthritis much better with a the extra medical attention that family has seen that she received. She know has a "HUMAN BEING" life and the stress that was in her face and in her life is subsiding. She has not fallen or been to an emergency room. She laughes and smiles and has a LIFE! A REAL LIFE!  THE COMPASS LEARNED HAND WAS ONE OF THE GREATIST JURISTS IN THE HISTORY OF AMERICAN JURISPRUDENCE ARCHIBALD MCLEISH, THE POET AND PULITZER PRIZE WINNING PLAYWRIGHT, A HARVARD PROFESSOR AND A FORMER LIBRARIAN OF CONGRESS WROTE THIS TRIBUTE TO HIS FRIEND. "We are neither weak nor few As long as one person does what can do. As long as one person in the sun alone Walks between the silence and the stone An honors humanity in their flesh, their bone, We are not too weak, nor yet too few." |
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