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HOW TO RAISE A CROOK
1 - Begin from infancy to give the child everything he wants. This way he will grow up to believe that the world owes him a living.
2 - When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. It will encourage him to pick up cuter phrases that will blow the top off your head later.
3 - Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is twenty-one and then let him decide for himself.
4 - Avoid the use of the word "wrong". It may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe later when he is arrested for stealing a car that society is against him and he is being persecuted.
5 - Pick up anything he leaves lying around: books, shoes, clothing. Do everything for him so he will be experienced in throwing the responsibility onto others.
6 - Let him read any printed matter he can get his hands on. Be careful the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feed on garbage.
7 - Quarrel frequently in the presence of the children. Then they won't be too shocked when the home is broken up.
8 - Give the child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as tough as you had them? Denial may lead to harmful frustrations.
9 - Take his part against the neighbors, teachers, and policeman. They are all prejudice against your child.
10 - When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourselves by saying, "I never could do anything with him."
11 - Prepare for a life of grief - you will have it.

Sent in by Bety Masters - taken from the Presbyterian Journal.
Train up a child in the way he should go: and he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

FINE LAD

The Lord gave me a beautiful child
Although some days he drives me wild.
He's five, you see, so full of vigor
And each day his ideas get bigger.
Born with a knowledge way beyond his years
Questions on questions he bends my ears.
My heart fills with pride watching him grow
But there's so much he doesn't yet know.
From infant to child he went with such grace
To me it seemed such an awful fast pace.
One jump ahead I'm trying to stay
How well I'm doing I really can't say.
There's always a smile on his sweet face
I truly thank God I entered this race.
My son is growing into a fine lad
Hope this means I'm not doing too bad.

Mary Rose

O Lord my God, shed the light of your love
on my child. Keep him safe from all illness
and all injury. Enter his tiny soul, and comfort
him with your peace and joy. He is too young to
speak to me, and to my ears his cries and gurgles
are meaningless nonsense. But to Your ears they
are prayers. His cries are cries for your
blessing. His gurgles are gurgles of delight at
your grace. Let him as a child learn the way of
your commandments. As an adult let him live the
full span of life, serving your kingdom on earth.
And finally, in his old age, let him die in the
sure and certain knowledge of your salvation. I
do not ask that he be wealthy, powerful or famous.
Dear Lord, smile upon him.

Johann Starck

A CHILD'S PRAYER

Dear Guardian Angel ever near
please guard me while I sleep,
And keep me safe 'till morning
when I wake.
Then please stay close beside me
as the day begins,
And lead me on the path that
I should take.
I know that God has sent you
to walk with me forever,
And guide me with your tender
loving care.
It makes me very happy
you're with me while I'm little,
And that when I grow up big
you'll still be there.

by Alice M. Antlsperger
copyright 1997

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