FREELINE - By Eric "The Crusher" Johnson - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives2/Freeline

SiD: Hello folks we're here at the first ever Freeline in the RMWF.

Guy: Sid don't people wanna see matches not gay ass interviews.

SiD: Well we are having matches as you can see. We have the ring set up and Crusher is going against Iceman. Plenty more matches too.

Guy: I don't think it's such a good idea Sid.

SiD: Want a chocolate?

Guy: I'm leaving!

SiD: Wait Guy. Oh shit! I'm all alone tonight.

Bobby walks in.

Bobby: Hey Sid. Where's Guy?

SiD: He left. Want a chocolate?

Bobby: Nah. I'm getting too over weight.

SiD: Ok, but they're good. Tonight we'll be having live matches and old matches. Actually clips of old matches. But first we're live with Wil Double in the parking lot with Iceman.

(Screen switches to Wil Double and Iceman)

Prez: Iceman are you at all worried that The Crusher's brother Rodney might make his way to the ring tonight?
Iceman: Prez, I'm not one bit worried cuz Iceman is the best. And let me tell you something Prez I'm gonna whoop that little shit's ass! Good and hard!

Prez: Well back to you SiD.

(Screen switches back to booth)
SiD: Thanks Wil. We're now going to show you a match from Miami Havok last year.

( Rebel walks out escorted by the lovely Traci. )

Guy " I can't believe what they did to poor sweet innocent Britney Spears "

SiD " I know .. Those bastards .. Hey!!! Ain't that Timebomb's girl???? She's hanging all over Rebel like a Lousianna .. "

Guy " Stop right there Sid "

SiD " What??? I was just going to say she's hanging on him like .. "

Guy " I know what you were going to say and this is not a racist fed so be quiet "

SiD " They allow RAPE and MURDER but not ethnic humor??? Man fuck this fed "

Guy " Whatever .. Timebomb charges Rebel at the bell and power-bombs him!!!! He goes for an elbow drop but oh!!! Rebel rolls out of they way!!!! Rebel springs to his feet and stomps TB in the head twice before the guy can get back up .. Rebel off the ropes.. He clotheslines Timebomb just as he got back up!!!! "

SiD " No wonder his woman left him .. The man fuckin sucks "

Guy " Timebomb gets back up and starts punching Rebel.. Rebel gives him a kick to the balls though which sends him staggering back a few steps .. Rebel with a reverse DDT!!!! I'm starting to think Timebomb should just give it up.. I have to agree with you Sid when you said he sucks "

SiD " You should always agree with me fool .. I'm always right "

Guy " If you say so "

( Armz walks out from the entryway. )

SiD " Hey!!! That Armz guy is coming out .. He's staring and pointing at Timebomb .. I think Timebomb just shit himself "

( Armz goes back through the ramp entrance. )

Guy " He probably did .. I guess we'll have to wait and see what that was all about "

SiD " I hate to wait .. Why cant.. "

( A crackhead walks up to SiD. )

Crackhead " Hey I know who you is "

SiD " Huh??? "

Crackhead " Hey my man could you hook me up wit a dollar .. I wanna get me a cheeseburger "

SiD " Dude get the fuck away from me "

Crackhead " C'mon maaaaaaaaan ... I'll suck ya DICK!!! "

SiD " What did you say??? "

Crackhead " I SAID .. I'll suck yo dick "

( SiD pulls out a gun and fires three rounds into the crackhead's chest. The guy stumbles back and falls to the sand dead yet SiD unloads five more slugs into the crackhead's body. )

Guy " WHAT THE HELL???? "

SiD " I am not gay .. And I'm tired of people thinking that I am .. All your little comments .. And don't think I don't know what people say behind my back .. It ends "

Guy " SiD??? "

SiD " In my time with this fed I have been beaten .. I've been shot .. I have put up with alot of shit .. No more .. This fed is out of control what with all of it's murderers, rapists, junkies, scumbags, queers .. You name it this fed has it .. And I am sick of it "

Guy " You're insane "

SiD " Maybe .. Or maybe I'm just TOO sane .. Either way my friend .. I have a gun .. So dont test me "

Guy " ........ "

SiD " Don't look now but I think the match is over "

SiD: We're back with more action from me SiD and him Bobby.

Bobby: These chocolates are actually pretty good Sid.

SiD: Gimmie those!

Bobby: Sorry.

SiD: Fuck you Bobby. We're now ready for the match between The Crusher and Iceman.

Bobby: Why did Crusher pick a fight with this guy?

SiD: We've been wondering the same thing Bobby.

(Rollin starts and Eric comes down to the ring with a jack hammer. He climbs into the ring. Iceman walks in with no introduction an dstarts beating on Eric)

SiD: What the hell is Eric doing?

Bobby: What? Do you mean getting a jack hammer?

SiD: Yes you idiot! Is he driving the jack hammer into Iceman's hand?

Bobby: Yes!

SiD: Shut up Bobby!

Bobby: Eric reves up the jack hammer and starts pounding on Iceman's head.

SiD: Holy shit! Look at Eric go!

Bobby: Do you think Iceman's dead?

SiD: I don't know......

Bobby: Eric goes for a cover 1!2!3! His first ever pin win!

SiD: What the hell is a pin win Bobby?

Bobby: It's when you pin a guy and win. Pin Win!

SiD: Okay Bobby. I think you need a doctor. We have the latest roleplay of the Wrestler of the Month Kid Money! Bobby will read it.

Bobby: Kid Money:YOU ####IN FAGOTS MAKE ME SICK,YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHIN AND YOU KNOW IT,why the #### are you tryin to diss somebody who doesn't give a #### and even if i did your disses ain't shit anyway,since joing this damn fed all i have heard are the same disses over and over,kid money your just a boy,your a kid rock wannabe,your an eminem wanna be,you will never make it out of this match alive,#### YA'LL,I've proved i'm one mutha ####en kid you don't wanna #### wit by puttin people 6ft under ever since the day i got here,i sell more cd's than Kid Rock and Eminem,and I'm the ####en world champ and lets take a look at the people usin this lame shit

Kid money:Neep,WHAT THE ####,WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE,in my carrier i've kicked your ####in ass 3 times but your b###h ass keeps cryin to the prez and gettin him to give you a title shot,THIS TIME THERE WILL BE KNOW CRYIN,first I'm gonna rip out your ####in tounge so i never have to hear you speak again,then I'm gonna snap your ####in spine,that way you'll have to commit suicde and i won't have to waste a damn bullet

Kid Money:Showtime you probably won't even make it to the match cuz you won't want to pull Vine's dick outa your ass,yeah everbody in this fed knows and why wouldn't we,everytime you do show up for a ####in match you got cum runnin all down your mouth and the only reason you win matches is cuz people don't wanna touch your sick ass,AND THE NEXT FAGOT IS.....

Kid Money:Oh yeah its darkstalka the little washed up bitch that can't keep his damn mouth shut,well Kid Money reign as the Amityville Heavyweight champ is bout to make your little dark fagot age or whatever the fuck it is look like shit,we bboth know besides me nobody in this fed will probabaly be able to breat you but guess what I'm the champ and I WILL NEVER LOSE TO YOU,NEXT

kid Money:Rebel,do i really have to waste my time tellin all these people how much of a ####en b###h you are,how much you cry,or how much of an asshole you are,MAN GET THE #### OUTA HERE.

SiD: That was a hell of a roleplay may I say.

Bobby: We have match coming up between Steve Eggs Hard and the new comer The Killer.

SiD: Bobby, I don't think Rodney has a chance against Steve. I mean did you see what he did to his tag partner.

Bobby: But SiD he needed help. Maybe if he doesn't get help from people they'll have a chance.

SiD: Nah.

(Screen switches to ring. Rodney's music starts and he walks to the ring. Steve's music starts and he walks to the ring.)

SiD: Let's hope he doesn't break the ring.

Bobby: Yeah.

SiD: Rodney closelines Steve and he staggers. Rodney closelines him again. He's against the ropes.

Bobby: Holy hell! Rodney knocked Steve right off his feet.

SiD: What the hell. It's Eric and Kid Money out to help Rodney.

Bobby: Why is Kid Money here?

SiD: Good question.

Bobby: Eric grabs his jack hammer and turns it on.

SiD: He's gonna break Steve apart.

Bobby: Kid Money and Rodney hold Steve while Eric cuts open Steve.

SiD: Kid Money and Eric run while the ref isn't looking.

Bobby: That was a shocker!

SiD: Sure thing Bobby.

Bobby: Now we have the clip of Iceman getting his nose broke by Kid Money.

Kid Money leaps up before Iceman gets back up and nails him in the face with an elbow drop!!! He gets up.. And another elbow drop!!!

SiD: That's exactly when Iceman's nose got broken.

Bobby: Like that was a serious injurie. Come on I've seen better shit in my daughter's pre-school.

SiD: That's something to be proud of?

Bobby: I didn't say I was proud of it.

SiD: What ever.

Bobby: Are you sure I can't have another chocolate?

SiD: No you freak! Now let's get back to show. Ok?

Bobby: Ok.

SiD: Dang. We now have a seen from last night when Iceman broke into Darkstalka's locker room.

Bobby: When in the hell did that happen?

SiD: Last night you bitch!

Bobby: No it didn't.

SiD: Why did we hire this maniac.

Bobby: Fuck you Sid!

SiD: Same to you Bobby.

Bobby: I wanna leave.

SiD: Forget you. Now we have a historic amtch up between Ashura and Balls Mahoney in the grave yard.

(screen switches to video)

( Lightning flashes across the night sky as the camera zooms down to the cobblestone courtyard which is stained with blood and littered with bones. A church bell rings and a group of disfigured midgets drag out Areala the Warrior Nun and Balls Mahoney who are blindfolded. )

Elvira " Those are some ugly lil buggers "

Spidey " Who??? Areala and Balls "

Elvira " Well Balls yeah .. But I was talking about those little troll things "

Spidey " Oh .. Yeah .. I think they used to be Menudo "

Elvira " They're still creepy "

Spidey " That's supposed to be the idea "

Elvira " Oh .. Right .. Halloween and all "

Spidey " Areala draws her sword and moves into a parrying position as Balls grabs a battle axe from the littered ground and charges at her swinging it!!!! She blocks then feints at him .. Balls swings his axe and it meets with Areala's sword causing sparks to fly!!!! She kicks him away and sweeps her sword across his chest!!!!!!

Elvira " She cut him pretty good .. He lashes out with a vertical chop!!!! She parrys it but is forced to her knees .. Balls sweeps her feet and slams his axe down at her!!!!! She rolls away without a moment to spare and kicks him in the butt!!!! "

Elvira " I just figured out what Balls's costume is .. He's supposed to be Grimace from McDonalds!!!!! "

Spidey " Ummm actually .. He's a nut sack "

Elvira " Huh???? Oh .. Yeah .. That's gross "

Spidey " Yeah well "

Elvira " Areiola .. I mean Areala chops at Balls head but he blocks with his axe!!!! He kicks her away and charges after her .. He leaps at her .. She barely evades and receives a minor bleeder on her arm "

Spidey " She sweeps Balls's feet .. She drive her blade down at him but he rolls out of the way in the nick of time "

Elvira " Hey that grating is opening and something's coming out!!!! AAHHHH!!! It's a midget!!! "

Spidey " Yeah .. He usually stays under the ring but .. I guess this is one to him though "

Elvira " He's shaking his fist at Balls .. Now he's squeezing his groin in an obscene manner!!!! "

Spidey " Balls forgets about Areala and goes after the midget!!!! The ring midget jumps back down the drain hole thingy and slides the grate back over it .. Balls is stomping at the grate as Areala comes up from behind him and punches him upside his head .. He falls to his knees .. She slices his head off and it goes bouncing away!!!! "

Elvira " Hey Spidey!!!!! Snap out of it .. Your day dreaming!!!! "

Spidey " Huh???? .. Oh .. Sorry .. Balls runs after Areala and hurls his axe at her!!!!! It buries itself shallowly in her shoulder!!!! She pulls it out of her and tosses it aside .. Balls at her with a drop-kick!!!! He leaps at her with a flying axe-handle but she .. Oh man I can't look!!!! "

Elvira " Areala stuck her sword up and Balls impaled .. His balls .. I guess it's No-Balls Mahoney from now on "

Spidey " That ain't funny the guy just .. Well .. Yeah it is pretty funny hehe "

Elvira " Balls is thrashing about on the ground .. Areala puts her sword to his throat .. Which in this match qualifies as a pin .. So it's over "

Spidey " I don't usually do this .. Change an honest ruling but .. Balls lost his boys and I feel bad for him "

SiD: Wasn't that enjoyable Bobby?

Bobby: Fuck you. I'm leaving!

SiD: Wait Bobby. Holy Shit! Nobody's here to back me up. Oh well.

Prez walks in.

Prez: Hey Sid. Heard you were all alone up here. And you ain't aloud to piss me off so this could work.

SiD: Thanks Wil.

Prez: Sid do you think that The Brick's should have a new titantron I mean......

SiD: Nah. I think it's ok.

Prez: I hate it with the bricks falling on their dicks it's just sick.

SiD: You're good at rhyming Wil. Brick, Dick, Sick. A very talented man next to me folks.

Prez: Don't piss me off Sid.

SiD: Ok. Ok. Dang.

Prez: Rodney Johnson is down there with Guy.

(screen switches to parking lot where Guy and Rodney are)

Guy: Thanks Wil. Rodney, do you think you could beat the Bravehearts for the tag team championship?

Rodney: Well my father always said anything you put your mind to you can do. That's a saying that I've always followed and always will.

Guy: When do you think you'll get a title shot?

Rodney: Well me and my brother haven't even wrestled in a tag match together so we have to see how good we are first. If we're talented enough I think we could get a shot in April.

Guy: Thanks Rodney. Back to you Wil.

(screen switches back to Prez and SiD)

SiD: You should give them a title shot Wil.

Prez: Not til I see how good they are.

SiD: The Bravehearts ain't that good. I think with the skill The Bricks got they could easily beat the champs.

Prez: I told you Sid they need to show they're talent before I challenge it.

SiD: But did you see that strategy in that match earlier tonight?

Prez: What strategy?

SiD: Using that jack hammer.

Prez: That wasn't strategy. What would happen if they were in a DQ match. They couldn't use no fucking weapon. They'd loose the match for sure.

SiD: Well I still think it's strategy.

Prez: What ever. Next we have our Freeline chat. Call in at 555-3425 to chat with us.

SiD: We have Kenny Severe on the line.

Kenny: Sup guys?

SiD: We fine Kenny.

Kenny: I called in so I could say how much the Bravehearts suck! I mean they never are in matches. How in the hell are they tag team champs?

Prez: Well Kenny they won it against somebody. And they got it.

Kenny: Well I think that Sid is right that The Bricks should get a title shot.

Prez: Thank you Kenny.

SiD: I like that Kenny. He's on my side.

Prez: You mean the wrong side Sid.

SiD: Don't piss me off Wil.

Prez: You're not allowed to piss me off. I'm allowed to piss you off.

SiD: What ever Wil.

Prez: We have Terri on the line!!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!!??!!?

SiD: What the hell?

Terri: Hi guys. I was tuning into the new show it's bomb. I just wanted by ex boyfriend to here Fuck it! That lil boy couldn't even lick out my.......

SiD: Sorry folks we lost Terri on her cell, but Eric what did you do to her man? That was pretty lame.

Prez: Definitly. Eric you couldn't even......Man you need some of that ener-x or what ever it's called. Cuz she on fire!

SiD: You got problems Eric, really.

Prez: We now have an injury report with Bobby. Bobby?

(screen switches to Bobby's new booth.)

Bobby: Hello guys. I'm here with my clips of injuries. Enjoy.

Quizmaster doesn't want to die thats for sure. Pig Vomit has him chained to a table and he's lighting up a blow torch , oh man is that gonna be hot. Sure is he's burning Quizmaster in the arm with it , his flesh is bubbling and it really stinks..."

Quizmaster is screaming in pain , he should of called The Prez and told him he was leaving or this would of never happened. This is a lesson to all wrestlers just don't dissapear , or this will be your fate. Pig Vomit is now picking up a sharp knife and he stabbed it in The Quizmaster's eye , this is torture 101. No in the garbage can , not on the floor !!!!!!! OH will someone come clean this up ???? Pig Vomit just took a pair of pliers and cut off Quizmasters pinky , now he's cutting off his thumb. Quizmaster passed out from the pain , and the Dr. is checking if he is still alive. He gives the thumbs up and Quizmaster is still alive. Pig Vomit is using smellin salt to revive Quizmaster and he comes too a little bit. Pig Vomit punches him , then he takes the knife out of his eye and stabs him in the leg. Oh come on kill the man already. He's strapping him in the electric chair , here we go , Pig Vomit hits the switch...Would you stop puking , GOD THAT STINKS WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR DINNER , s--- ?????? Quizmaters eyes are bleeding and I think one just popped out. Pig Vomit turns off the switch and The Dr. pronounces him dead. Pig Vomit throws Quizmaster's body into the crowd and a bunch of 15 year old girls are ripping it apart for a souvenir

Bobby: Was that harsh or what? Pig Vomet killed Quizmaster. Quick Fact. Did you know that Pig Vomit is an actor now? Well you can read about him on the Bio Pages. Back to you Prez.

Prez: Thanks Bobby. That was......

SiD: Nasty?

Prez: Yes, nasty.

SiD: Well that's all for tonight folks. Good night!

Prez: See ya!

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By Eric" The Crusher" Johnson
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Page Updated Mon Dec 17, 2001 2:52pm EST