Friday Night Slam 9-28-01 - Brought to you from the great people at WIL Double Productions © - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives2/9_28_01_Friday_Night

(Directly after RMWF Divided, The Corporate Stable led by WIL Double stands outside President Goldust’s office door. Behind him are a group of very pissed off wrestlers consisting of Darkstalka, Commish Neep, Ty My Sho, Mo My Lon, and The Vine all waiting for WIL to make his move.)

Neep “ What are we gonna do boss? “

WIL “ I don’t know yet, Goldust is a wily little bastard we are just gonna improvise.”

The Vine “ That’s how you do everything?”

WIL “ Huh? “

The Vine “ By improvising, don’t you ever have a real plan?”

Ty My Sho “ I say we just bust in there and crack open his American head.”

WIL “ Well here goes nothing.”

( WIL steps back then charges the office door but the wood and the hinges barley buckle behind his weight. He gears up one more time but Darkstalka stops him and in one swift chop splinters the door into a few big pieces of firewood… The group charges in to find Goldust admiring himself in his mirror once again. Startled he drops it insuring himself seven years of bad luck.)

WIL “ We have to talk.”

Goldust “ We will talk about nothing fool…”

( Goldust jumps up on his desk and points a finger at WIL before nailing him with a flying drop kick. The Ex-CEO crashes into a shelf causing various trophies, pictures and other trinkets to come crashing down upon him. Jason Cash dives at Goldust who side steps him right into a big right hand from Mo My Lon. Dazed The Prez rips off his dress to reveal the costume of on costumed superhero Silver Bellz….)

Goldust “ Ha, fools you are no match for the great Silver Bellz!”

( The group of wrestlers gasp at the fact that Goldust is actually the alter ego of Silver Bellz and he takes the time to make his escape. Leaping out the window Silver Bellz sends down a lethal barrage of hot dogs at WIL Double but the brunt of the attack is taken by his ever faithful bodyguard CSD.)

WIL “ Well that went well…”

Darkstalka “ Now what?”

Neep “ Yeah boss now what? “

WIL “ Well in the absence of both Goldust and Spidey I am in charge…”

Neep “ But Goldust fired you…”

WIL “ Not for long…”

( WIL picks up The Prez’s golden phone and in his best gay sounding voice makes a few announcements as Goldust. First, rehiring himself and Neep but before he can reinstate the non-American wrestlers the power cuts off and the scene fades to black….)

Two weeks later

" Weeeeeelcome ladies and gentelmen to another addition of Friday Night Slam. This is Guy Mandel with SiD ' The King ' Nasty and the rest of The RMWF crew bringing you the first WIL Double Productions in two weeks. And what a shaken fed we are, after the events of RMWF Divided and The Attack on America things just don't seem the same around here."

SiD " Oh yes they do. You started the show with the same opening you always do. WIL is still a crack head, Goldust a fruit cake and we are still being hounded by ex-wrestlers who are making horrible accusations that Spidey has niggers in his pants!!"

Guy " That is horrible, these people will not stop at nothing will they?"

SiD " Yes it is quite unsettling."

Guy " Well with that aside tonight we have a great show for you. Five, count them five matches and three of them are title matches as we wrap up those vacated belts. So lets get on with the show."

( Fire works explode out of the ring post and the fans at the superdome explode. The camera swings past them too the entrance ramp where an army of armed guards appear followed by Goldust... As he makes his way down to the ring they chant " WIL DOUBLE " over and over.)

SiD " What the hell is this fruit cake doing out here?"

Guy " Shut your mouth and listen."

( Goldust stands in the center of the ring with two big men next to him. The others surround the ring as he begins to talk.)

Goldust " I was gonna come out here tonight and put and end to this rouge show but then I reconsidered. You see WIL Double is not part of The RMWF, even after he reinstated himself so he has no authority to hold a RMWF sanctioned show. But I thought in the name of fun and booooy do we like to have fun here, I would give him one more chance. Looking at tonights card most of the wrestlers here are not American and are banned from The RMWF and should not be wrestling. So I, as Preident of The RMWF will still let these matches happen and count but on the next card we will have a non-American -vs- The Americans match. If the Americans win then all foreigners are gone, if the foreigners win then they will be allowed to stay in The RMWF, pretty simple... Except that since WIL Double has aligned himself with the non-Americans he will be treated as a traitor and his job will also be on the line if the non-Americans lose... Good luck tonight I will be watching..."

Ty My Sho -vs- Xtreme Z
SiD " Oh great not these tie my shoe morons..."

Guy " His name is TY My Sho, SiD and maybe you should learn to respect other cultures and not make fun of people's names."

SiD " It's tie my shoe, its a joke you moron, like who flung poo or something."

Guy " Oh I never noticed, any way the match is ready to begin as both men are in the ring. Rookie Xtreme Z waiting for the bell to ring so he can try to make a name for himself in The RMWF and here we go.. The tie up and Ty My Sho wraps up Z with an arm bar, then nails him with a karate kick sending him to the mat."

SiD " Wasn't this suppose to be a cage match?"

Guy " Who knows all the matches booked for the rest of September got screwed up, so maybe it was suppose to be but it is not now. Sommersault smash by Ty and he hooks the leg for a cover. Xtreme Z kicks out but only to be whipped into the turnbuckle by Ty setting him up for an elbow smash... Scoop slam by My Sho followed by a boot to Z's face. Xtreme Z has not shown much offense in this match , has he SiD?"

SiD " Huh, oh yeah..."

Guy " Are you paying attention?"

SiD " Huh, oh yeah..."

Guy " Do you like big, hairy, cock in your butt?"

SiD" Uh, yeah whatever Guy."

Guy " Heh, OH MAN XTREME Z JUST PULLED OFF A FLYING CROSS BODY AND NOW HAS TY MY SHO UP FOR A PILEDRIVER AND HERE IT COMES...Man he almost snapped Sho's head off and is rolling him up for the pin but Ty manages to get his arm up. A fist full of hair by Xtreme gets Ty to his feet and he lands a well placed chop to his chest before sending him into the ropes. Ty ducks under the clothesline, comes off the other ropes and lands a clothesline of his own. Heart punch by Ty My Sho has Xtreme gripping his chest in pain."

SiD " Back when I was a wrestler Iron Burns Cody killed The Platinum Shiek with a heart punch, it is a forgotten move."

Guy " Forgotten just like your career. Ty My Sho with an airplane spin sends Xtreme Z flying out of the ring. Now Ty My Sho is posing for the crowd as The Z-Man trys to shake off the cob webs."

SiD " What a fool that Ty My Sho is, just look at him! He fits in this fed perfect."

Guy " Xtreme Z crawling back in the ring and Ty delivers a double ax handle to his back, then a suplex. Where is Ty going?"

SiD " To the top rope."

Guy " Yes, he is climbing the ropes and here he comes with a moonsault, he hooks the leg 1, 2, 3, Ty My Sho wins!!!!"

SiD " Well that match sucked..."

Guy " They all can't be great, SiD."

Winner: Ty My Sho
One hot night this past summer, my girlfriend Michelle, my boyfriend and myself was vising and was enjoying some cool drinks when we decided to play Twister. We played a couple rounds and decided to make it more interesting and call it Strip twister. The person who falls has to take off an item of clothing. wow did things heat up. During the game my girlfriends pussy ended up in my face and as a joke i said move it, she said "Bite Me". I did. i bit her on her pussy. she laughed and proceeded to flip me on my ass and also bit me. My boyfriend Roger climbed on top of me and shoved his cock into my mouth and i started sucking on him. To my amazement michelle spread my legs and began eating my pussy out. I was stunned but couldn't move because Roger was shoving his cock in and out of my mouth, I was so turned on i decided to give in and let it happen. All i could feel was michelles tongue lapping at my shaved pussy. Thank god we was on the mat of the game because i came so hard and made a huge mess. I immediately took my turn and took my first lick to michelles pussy. It was hot and differnt. i licked at it eagerly twisting my tongue in and out of her pussy. While i was doing this i noticed Roger was being sucked off by michelle. i came watching this happen.
Then Michelle pushed me on my back and held me down while Roger started fucking me, she was suckign my hard nipples and i reached up and started to finger her soaking pussy. Roger was kissing me while i was fingering her he reached up above my head and i seen his tongue licking her clit while i was still fingering her. I said i want to watch you fuck michelle

Neep -vs- Hunter ( Cable TV Title )

WINNER AND NEW CABLE TV CHAMP GRANT " NEEP " TURNER
Jade” Thank You for calling WIL Double Productions. How may I direct your call? WIL Double is not in the office, he is in England being knighted by the queen. I will direct your call to commissioner Neep , please hold….

( England, WIL Double is kneeling in front of the queen. She touches him on each shoulder and his head once with a sword as a small crowd watches… )

“ From this day forth WIL Double, founder and CEO of The RMWF shall be known as Sir WIL Double of Brunswick, long live the queen!!!! “

Mo My Lon -vs- Angel ( Non-Title )
Guy " The Euro Champ, Angel, in action tonight. This is a one fall non-title match featuring the terror form the east Mo My Lon..."

SiD " Who are we to decide on a champ to represent Europe> I mean we don't even oprerate in Europe, we are an American company. What does it mean to be a European champion anyway?"

Guy " It means, ummmm, it means??? I don't actually know. It is the belt right above The Cable TV Title."

SiD " Yeah and after who won that tonight we all know how important that waste of metal is. No wonder Rebel wiped his ass with it, ouch that must of hurt."

Guy " Angel attacks Mo before th bell delivering a barrage of blows. Mo falls to his knees trying to cover up but it does no good as Angel is a man possesed."

SiD " Ewww that will stop him. Now he is a man possesed with a high voice."

Guy " Mo just toppled Angel with a low blow and gets a warning from referee Mr. Magoo. A fist full of hair helps Angel to his feet then a chop across the throat by Mo My Lon. He goes down choking and spitting thn gets a boot to the ribs."

SiD" Man these chineese are ruthless, dirty fuckers. It figures they eat there own young."

Guy " They are from Japan, SiD and who said they eat there own young?"

SiD " It's just common knowledge that they do."

Guy " Give me a break I can already see the letter writing campaign coming. Do me a favor before I die?"

SiD " Huh?"

Guy " For one show try not to say anything that is not gonna piss off hundreds of people."

SiD " I'll try but I can not promise anything."

Guy " Mo My Lon with a press slam and Angel bounces off the mat like a rag doll. Now a reverse suplex sets The European Champ up for a pin which he quickly kicks out of. Angel trying to gain control of the match takes down Mo My Lon with a russian foot sweep but his victory is short as Mo My bounces back up answering with a drop kick of his own."

SiD ( YAWN )

Guy " Mo My Lon, DDT and Angel looks to be in trouble. He scoops up The Champ and delivers a running shoulder slam the pin and this may be all for Angel!!! Wait the lights just turned off and a gold spotlight is shinning on the ring."

SiD " It's gotta be Goldust. You know I use to hate the kid but now he is out here defending The United States. He is not gonna let this Chineese bastard win."

Guy " Yeah but the bell just rang and Mr. Magoo is holding Mo My Lon's hand in the air?"

SiD " What the fuck? That basatard is so blind he did not even relize the lights were off. Goldust was too late and all the foreigners are winning. Man the American wrestlers better get there act toghether if there gonna win next week!!"

Guy " Goldust is standing ring side yelling at Magoo and here comes Mo My Lon. He dives between the ropes swiping at Goldust but The Prez takes off before he can get a hand on him."

Winner: Mo My Lon

Nightmare -vs- Lightning ( Hardcore Belt )
Chris Heid was the special ref in this special match. He had the honor of handing his Hardcore Belt to either his parnter and stable mate Nightmare or Lightning who directly after the match he asked to join The $hooter$. Once again an old timer in The RMWF restored his glory as Nigthmare defeated Lightning 10:51 into the match..

WINNER AND NEW HARDCORE CHAMP: NIGHTMARE

Darkstalka -vs- The Immortal Chris Heid ( World Heavy Weight Title )
Guy “ This is it The Immortal Chris Heid in his first title defense since the PPV against a RMWF old timer, Darkstalka.”

SiD “ The big baby, what was WIL thinking lifting the ban on him? I mean that may have been the best thing ever to happen to The RMWF.”

Guy “ Well I, for one, am glad Darkstalka is back he is a great wrestler and has given us some great moments here in The RMWF and hopefully he will give us many more.”

SiD “ As long as there are no wolves.”

Guy “ The match has started. Chris and Darkstalka circle the ring, neither man wanting to make the first mistake or first move. Darkstalka puts his hand up but Chris won’t fall for the bait and instead nails him in the stomach with a big boot. Darkstalka doubles over but quickly responds with a diving clothesline and both men tumble to the mat. Both men now rolling on the mat exchanging blows back and forth. Ref #3 tries to break them up but its not gonna happen.”

SiD “ Yeah he better be careful or he is gonna lose a limb if he keeps sticking it between them like that.”

Guy “ Correct SiD, these are two of The RMWF’s toughest remaining heavyweights and nobody is gonna tell them what to do. Not even the ref, not even YOU!!!”

SiD “ You are really a freak…”

Guy “ Darkstalka comes out on top and is choking Chris Heid, slamming his head on the mat. This is already a really brutal match and it has only been going on for two minutes. Ref #3 now threatens Darkstalka with a DQ so he lets up on the winded Chris Heid, who rolls into the corner for a breather. Big mistake, as Darkstalka holding on to the turnbuckle delivers a few kicks to The Immortal One’s rib cage.”

SiD “ Are these two ever gonna wrestle?”

Guy “ That’s what they are doing right now.”

SiD “ This looks like one of those extreme fighting championships not wrestling. Neeps matches are more exciting.”

Guy “ You know what SiD?”

SiD “ What? “

Guy “ Why don’t you blow it out your ass? I am sick of your constant bitching.”
SiD “ Excuse me you little pencil nosed geek.”

Guy “ Darkstalka with a double armed suplex flips Chris Heid out of the corner and into the center of the ring. He follows up with a savate kick and picks the champ up by his tights flinging him in the corner. Running elbow smash but nobody is home as Chris Heid managed to get out of the way. The Immortal slowly makes his way over to Darkstalka who responds with a shot to the midsection but The Champ manages to pull off a swinging neck breaker.”

SiD “ ….”

Guy “ That’s what he did all right a swinging neck breaker, uh huh… It’s DDT time as Darkstalka, is stunned by Chris once again. The Champ goes for the cover but a quick kick out ends that and he has to start all over again. Suplex, then off the ropes comes Heid for a leg drop. He has taken control of this match and Darkstalka had better do something quick or he is not gonna be taking home any gold tonight.”

SiD “ Yeah maybe he better do the only thing he is good at, bitching. Yeah that’s it he could bitch Chris Heid into submission.”

Guy “ Your one to talk, SiD. You’re the bitching queen.”

SiD “ I prefer king.”

Guy “ Chris Hied now with a reverse head lock but Stalka pushes him off and into the ropes. Cross body block takes down The Champ and Darkstalka is back in the match. The Dark One wastes no time by slamming Chris Heid down with a scoop slam.. Darkstalka off the ropes lands a leg drop then goes for the cover. 1, 2, and a kick out by The Immortal.”

SiD “ I’m bored let me call the match for awhile.”

Guy “ But you never call the matches, its my job.”

SiD “ Well take a break, you are tired and doing a bad job. I can hear the fans at home snoring.”

Guy “ Sure why not, go for it.”

SiD “ Ok, here we go. I’ll be you and you be me.”

Guy “ Whatever. “

SiD “ The battle rages on as these two heavyweight monsters go head to head, folks. I mean you can cut the intensity here with a knife. Darkstalka, the baby, coff coff swoops in with a mighty blow devastating The Immortal as somewhere in the country his gay lover Snakebite winzes in fear that his man will be hurt. This is a fight of cosmic proportions, it makes me week in the knees and wet in my pants. I mean look at that backbreaker by Darkstalka talk about erotic.”

Guy “ I don’t sound like that.”

SiD “ Shhhhhh do I interrupt you when your announcing? Darkstalka now with a devastating clothesline followed by a devastating splash and a devastating pin but The Champ saves his ass with a devastating kick out.”

Guy “ Oh yeah I am SiD THE KING Nasty and I am a tired old bitchy man, blah, blah, blah… I’m bored so and so is a booty snatcher, fudge packing, idiot.”

SiD “ Ha, fudge packer, good one Guy. Uh I mean SiD, King SiD. Wait Chris Heid just leveled Darkstalka with a crippler cross face, man did you see that?”

Guy “ Yes, he really is amazing.”

SiD “ I don’t know how he does it.”

Guy “ Steroids.”

SiD “ You took the words right out of my mouth, old chap. Chris Heid with a shoulder breaker and Darkstalka is in trouble now, tittley poop."

Guy " I never say tittly poop! Who do I look like Clive Anderson?"

SiD " No , but you should say tittley poop its fitting. The Immortal, scissors grip, man this is boring how do you do it week to week."

Guy " Why I don't know SiD, its just my job."

SiD " Darkstalka with a rake of the eyes escapes the hold but Chris keeps up his attack with a clothesline. Darkstalka stumbles back and both mn start to exchange blows back and forth. Blah, blah, blah, you know I have been in wrestling for a long time and I just relized how boring it has gotten."

Guy " It has not The RMWF has brought wrestling to an all new height."

SiD " Yeah well they sure did not on this card. I mean I could really care less who wins this match right now."

Guy " Well all cards can't have sex, violence and rape."

SiD " Yeah how disapointing."

Guy " You know your suppose to be calling the match?"

SiD " Nah we are running out of room its been called a draw."

Guy " Huh? "

SiD " Yeah and I have to read this note from the law offices of WIL Double Productions. Do to circumstances out of our control all these matches and the whole card are deemed to suck. The main event of this card was gearing up to be another great clash of two very good men and have a very exciting, exsplosive finish. I was very surprised that Darkstalka gave Chris Heid a run for his money as he did and decided to end the match in a draw. Which is just a big cop out. I know all of you put a lot of time into your RP's and apologize for the state of the show."

The RMWF and Friday Night Slam is brought to you by Preperation H and the letter " C "...

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Page Updated Mon Dec 17, 2001 2:52pm EST