Wednsday Night Havok 8-29-01 - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives2/8_29_01_Wednsday_Night

The cameras pan across a fan filled stadium before zooming in on the announcer's table where SiD and Guy sit.

Guy " Well welcome once again to another action packed episode of Havok.. We're kind of pressed for time tonight folks so without any further hesitation we'll go right to our first match "

SiD " ..'Without further hesitation'? There's a first "

Lightining -vs- BoneCrusher
Scaffold Match
The camera pans over the ring and up the scaffold, that sits within it, to a bag in it's center before turning it's focus to the entryway. "Late night Coastin" by Mr. Lucci then hits the PA system as Lightning comes out. He walks down the ramp to the ring. As he enters it, his music dies off. Papa Roach's "Last Resort" comes on the PA next as BoneCrusher walks out and to the ring.

Guy " The bell rings and the two wrestlers lock-up.. Lightning knees BoneCrusher in the face then powerbombs him!! He makes a dash for the scaffold but BC leaps back up and grabs him from behind.. He German suplexes him!! He goes for a Texas cloverleaf but Lightning kicks him off of him.. He gives Crusher a spinebuster moves to the scaffold and starts climbing it "

SiD " Hey so what's in that bag tied to the center of the scaffold? "

Guy " Nothing really.. Probably just a peice of paper that says 'You win' "

SiD " Oh.. How cheap "

Guy " Well this is just a preliminary match.. What do you expect? "

SiD " I don't know.. But they could think up something better than that "

Guy " Anyway.. BoneCrusher leaps and tries to grab Lightining's foot but he kicks his hand away.. Crusher then runs to the other side of the scaffold and starts to scale it as well.. "

SiD " And the race is on.. "

Time passes.

Guy " The two are on top of the scaffold and rushing to get to the bag in it's center.. The both reach it and grab it at the same time and are now playing a game of tug-of-war with it!!! BoneCrusher nails Lightining in the face with a right hook which knocks him halfway off the scaffold!! He's dangeling from it, but won't let go of the bag to try to climb back up!! "

SiD " Now that's determination "

Guy " BoneCrusher starts punching at Lightining in an attempt to get him to release the prize.. Lightining however, takes the blows and has managed to get back on top of the scaffold!! On all fours, he still is able to snapmare his opponent which forces Crusher to break his hold on the bag and sends him over the scaffold's edge!!! BoneCrusher grabs one of the scaffold's rungs though, saving him from a truelly nasty fall.. Lightining though being the only one holding the bag now backs his way up on the top of the scaffold and begins to descend it.. "

SiD " I wonder how long BoneCrusher can just hang there? "

Guy " Beats me.. Well, he's starting to pull himself up now.. A little to late though because Lightining leaps halfway down the side, to the mat.. Waving the bag over-head "

Winner: Lightining
Guy " Now while the RMWF roadies break down the scaffold we'll cut to a commercial "

BoneCrusher, after managing to get a footing back on the scaffold starts climbing down it as the scene switches to a commercial for one of those break-though medications that have at least fifty nasty side-effects. next, that disturbing commercial for Snapple where the bananas and strawberries are having sex comes on, followed by one for Viagra, starring Neep. The next commercials you don't see because you get up to take a piss and then to make yourself a toasted turkey, ham and cheese sandwich. When you get back, you think to yourself, "maybe I shouldn't have toasted my sandwich", because the show has already returned and you have missed some of it.

Guy " Okay this next match has two rings.. The main one for the men.. And a smaller one for their women.. "

SiD " Sounds confusing "

Guy " Not really.. It's just two simultanious matches.. With the exception that there's only one win "

SiD " Ummm.. Okay "

Pain and Carolyn -vs- "The Immortal" Chris Heid and Roxanne
"Push It" by Static-X hits the PA as and Pain appears at the entryway with Carolyn. The two walk down the ramp and Pain enters the main ring while Carolyn climbs into the smaller one, their music ends and then "Prince of the Universe" by Queen comes across the PA system as "The Immortal" Chris Heid comes walking out, occompanied by the stunning Roxanne and they enter their rings.

Guy " There's the bell.. Heid snap suplexes Pain then goes for a leg lock but Pain kicks him in the face.. Meanwhile, Carolyn eye rakes Roxanne then tiger flips her to the mat.. She slaps on a Boston crab and Pain gorilla presses Chris Heid!! "

SiD " See, I told you it'd be confusing "

Guy " It isn't confusing at all.. Maybe your just too slow to follow "

SiD " Piss off creep.. I'm not slow "

Guy " Just drunk? "

SiD " No "

Guy " Well anyway.. Hied hits Pain with a right hook, followed by an uppercut then a side belly suplex!! Roxanne whips Carolyn into the ropes then clotheslines her on her return.. "

A guy wearing a mask and brandishing a baseball bat comes running down the ramp and slides into the main ring.

SiD " Who's that joker? "

Guy " Beats me.. But he just nailed Pain from behind with a bat though!! "

Pain rolls around nursing his head and Heid goes for the pin.

Guy " There's the cover!! 1.. Carolyn distracted by her man being pinned gets double axe handled from Roxanne!! There's the three count!! It's all over "

Winner: "The Immortal" Chris Heid
The masked man leaves the ring as Roxanne goes to the main ring to join her man.

SiD " Who was that masked man? "

( Really not meant to be a Lone Ranger referance. )

Guy " Well whoever he was, he just cost Pain a match he probably would've won"

SiD " Yup.. "

The camera cuts to Spidey in his penthouse office's balcony's hot tub, naked except for his black mask, three hot young naked girls are in it with him, a red head and two brunettes. He's talking on a cordless phone when Jamal leads Steve the Heater in.

Spidey " Alright man, I have to go. Make sure you pull that shit off though and let me know who it went ok? Yeah, later. Okay.. So what'd you want to see me about Steve? "

Steve " Well I was wondering when I'd be getting a shot at the World Title.. The Prez said you guys'd give me one, but that was a long time ago "

Spidey " What? Since when does Goldust makes promises for Title Matches? That's not like him.. "

Steve " Huh? No.. Wil said that "

Spidey would look confused if not wearing a mask " Wait.. Then why'd you say 'The Prez'? "

Steve " Cause Wil is? "

Spidey sighs, " Goldust is the Prez.. I should know.. I promoted him to being it "

Steve " Oh "

Spidey " Wil's the CEO.. I gave him that Title even though he doesn't do anything around here to honor the fact that he used to be Prez.. Before he shut the fed down..

Steve " Ummm... Okay.. "

Spidey " Goldust is the Prez now but even as before when Wil was, The Prez's just a figure head.. I do everything around here.. And get no credit.. But yea.. Anyway.. If you have any questions or wants about anything.. I'm your man.. "

Steve " Okay "

Spidey " As for that Title Shot.. I can't make any promises but I'll try to squeeze it in maybe.. The PPV after this next one? That's the best I can do right about now "

Steve " Okay, cool!! "

Spidey " That it? "

Steve " Yeah.. That's it.. For now "

Spidey " Alright good.. Jamal'll show you back out "

Steve nods as Jamal escorts him back through the office and the camera reverts back to SiD and Guy.

Guy " .. And we're back.. Next up on our show we have our flag buring Main Event featuring Jason Cash representing the U.S. and Neep represnting Scotland.. But first, we have Nightmare verse Angel.. Which is about to begin "

( Previously, some joker had edited some footage out of this next match in order to make Nightmare look bad. The match has now been restored to show how it really occured. )

Nightmare -vs- Angel
"Vampires" by godsmack hits the PA and out walks Nightmare, occompanied by the decent looking Beth. They make their way down the ramp, his music fades off and he climbs into the ring and she takes a place on the apron as "Talk Supernatural" by D.C. comes on the PA and Angel appears at the entrway. He makes his way down to the ring and climbs into it, a moment later the bell rings.

Guy " Angel immediatly goes after Nightmare, he hits him with a right hook, followed by a left cross then snapmares him!! He stomps him a few times then pulls him back to his feet.. Nightmare throws a right hook at Angel, but he blocks it then sidewalk slams him!! Angel then slaps on a clover leaf!! "

SiD " ..And to think, these guys used to be friends "

Guy " ..Just goes to show you that in the RMWF friendships and alliances don't withstand the desire to be the best "

SiD " I don't think that made sence "

Guy " Sure it did "

SiD " If you say so "

Guy " Anyway Angel continues his relentless assault on Nightmare with a piledriver then slaps on an arm wrench.. "

SiD " Nightmare isn't doing so well.. Is he not fighting back because Angel used to be his freind? "

Guy " Beats me.. Well Nightmare snap suplexes Angel.. Then slaps on a bow & arrow "

SiD " Finally "

Guy " Nightmare rakes Angel's eyes then Tiger suplexes him!! He pulls Angel to his feet and whips him into the turnbuckle.. Before Angel can recover, he hits him with a shoulder tackle!! He starts slamming Angel's head against the turnbuckles.. And the crowd start yelling out a count... "

SiD " Ten times.. He smashed his head against them "

Guy " Nightmare grabs Angel and sets him atop the turnbuckles.. He.. Angel monkey flips Nightmare out of the ring!!! He's looking a little weary but he dives off the turnbuckle and nails Nightmare with a bionic elbow!! "

SiD " Is this going to be one of those matches where theres not a count out? "

Guy " Ummm.. Well since the ref has already counted to 2, It doesn't look like it "

SiD " Oh.. Well fuck you then "

Guy " Angel grabs Nightmare's foot but Nightmare kicks him in the face and gets back to his feet.. He hip tosses Angel back into the ring and then climbs the turnbuckles.. Angel gets back to his feet, just to get knocked back down via a moonsault from Nightmare!!! Nightmare starts kicking his opponent in the ribs.. After four kicks Angel has grabbed Nightmare's foot!! He gets back on his own feet, still holding Nightmare's... Angel gives him a... I guess you'd call it a.. Leg drag? "

SiD " Yeah.. I've never seen that move before either.. But it was just basically an arm drag.. Only with a leg "

Guy " Nightmare back up uppercuts Angel then sidewalk slams him!! He gives his former best friend a hard stomp to the face, which.. I think broke his nose "

SiD " Yeah.. It's spurting blood like a sprinkler "

Guy " Angel nurses his nose and Nightmare kicks him in the ribs.. Again "

The crowd start cheering Nightmare's name.

Guy " Nightmare steps back, absorbing the cheers from the crowd.. Angel finally gets up and from behind, double axe handles Nightmare!!! Angel gives him a leg drop then pulls him to his feet by his arm.. Nightmare whips him into the ropes though!!! Angel springing off them, ducks a clothesline from Nightmare then is off the ropes again.. He hits Nightmare with a running elbow which makes his stagger back a few steps.. Angel, not breaking momentum springs off the ropes again and takes Nightmare down with a small package!! "

there's the three count.. And Angel wins it!! "

Winner: Angel
Guy " Alright, now's our Main Event.. The RMWF's.. and perhaps the World's first ever Flag Match "

SiD " Do I even want to know? "

Guy " Either way SiD, you're going to find out.. "

SiD grumbles.

Guy " Okay folks, to quickly explain what a flag match is, it's basically a ladder match, where above the ring hang two flags.. One representing the nationality of each f the wrestlers. The first wrestler to obtain.. then burn his opponent's flag.. Wins "

SiD " Well that sounds better than I thought "

Guy " Yeah, I figured you'd like the flag burning part "

SiD " Yeah.. As long as the American wrestler wins "

Neep -vs- Jason Cash
Flag Match
"Flower of Scotland" play across the PA as Neep stutrs out and down the ring, head held high. He enters the ring and salutes the flag of Scotland that waves high above the ring. His music dies down and is replaced with "I Got High" by Afroman as Jason Cash comes out and heads down to the ring. When he gets in to it Neep offers him his hand in a display of sportsmanship but Cash slaps him in the face.

SiD " Ooooh! Now that was just plain rude! Hehe "

Guy " Yeah it was! Well there's the bell and Neep jumpkicks Cash.. He follows with an elbow drop then runs to then up the turnbuckles.. "

SiD " Cash gets back up to his feet but Neep dives off and nails him with a big splash!!! "

Guy " Flying Scotsman "

SiD " Huh? Yeah I guess you could call him that "

Guy " No.. That's the name of that move.. A Flying Scotsman "

SiD " Look.. You're always bitching that I never do any actually announcing.. So either can the bitching or let me do the shit like I do it.. Got it? "

Guy " Fine.. Anything for you to pull your share of the wieght for once "

SiD " I'm warning you.. Don't start "

Guy " Fine.. Neep whips Jason into the ropes.. Jason springs off them and ducks Neep's clothesline and is off the ropes again.. He dropkicks the Scotsman and slaps on a Vietnameese leglock!! "

SiD " Vietnameese leglock? "

Guy " Neep now with a swinging neckbreaker to Cash then follows with a stump puller.. "

SiD " Hey so has the U.S. ever been to war with Scotland? "

Guy " No "

SiD " Not even in World War II? "

Guy " Nope "

SiD " Well why not? "

Guy " I don't know.. They never gave us reason to I guess "

SiD " Well we should bomb them anyway.. Just in case "

Guy " Just in case what? "

SiD " I don't know.. We usually just bomb countries for the hell of it "

Guyt " When The United States bombs a counrty SiD, it's not 'just for the hell of it' "

SiD " Maybe.. But I'm sure they could think up a reason to bomb Scotland.. What about that damn scourge called the Lockness Monster? "

Guy " What about it? "

SiD " Well they could blow up the lake and see, once and for all if there is a Lockness Monster in there or not "

Guy " They already discovered there was a creature living in there "

SiD " Huh? When the hell was this?! "

Guy " Ummm.. Like 10-15 years ago... I remember seeing it on a National Geographgic special.. They went down there with one of them little yellow submarines and found a mother and a baby one.. "

SiD " Well you know everything don't you? "

Guy " Yup.. Just about "

SiD " Well anyway, then that's an even more solid reason to bomb Scotland "

Guy " Why do you want the U.S. to bomb Scotland so damn bad? "

SiD " Cause Neep lives there "

Guy " Oh.. Well.. That's a pretty good reason then.. I guess.. You're forgetting one thng though "

SiD " What's that? "

Guy " That the United States never bombs White countries.. "

SiD " Oh.. Damn! You're right.. I hate it when you're right!! "

Guy " Which is quite often "

SiD " Oh shut up.. Why don't you tell the people what's going on in the ring or something "

Guy " You mean do our job? Since I'm the only one of us who ever does "

SiD " Don't even get started.. "

Guy " Whatever..Neep monkey flips Jason Cash out of the ring and he crashes through Yugoslovian announcer's table!!! Neep scurries up the ladder and is reaching for the American Flag!!! "

SiD " Old Hickory "

Guy " Huh? "

SiD " Little known fact.. The American Flag's name is Old Hickory.. Like The Brit's is The Union Jack "

Guy " Ummm.. No SiD.. Old Hickory was Andrew Jackson's nickname.. "

SiD " Says you "

Guy " No.. It's fact.. "

( See kids if you stay in school, you will learn little bits of trivia like that. Unlike SiD who dropped out of high school to persue a career in wrestling. )

SiD " Why do you always have to point out when I'm wrong? "

Guy " I can't help it "

SiD " Whatever "

Guy " Neep is outside of the ring and dragging the ladder over to the apron.. Cash reaches over the ropes and grabs him then power slams him back into the ring!! "

Jason pulls the ladder, which is halfway in the ring, completly into the ring.

Guy " Jason sets up the ladder but is drop kicked by Neep!!! Neep scurries up the ladder and is reaching for the American flag!! Ohhh!! Cash pulled the ladder out from under him and the Scotsman fell back to Earth with quite a thud!! "

Neep rolls around in pain, Jason gives him a few stomps to the stomach before setting the ladder back up and climbing up it.

Guy " Cash has the flag of Scotland!!! "

Neep gets back up and starts shaking the ladder trying to knock Cash down. He succeeds.

Guy " Cash comes crashing off the ladder!! Now Neep's going back up the ladder.. He's just standing there? "

Neep pulls a lighter from his pocket.

Guy " Neep's not even trying to seaze the flag, he's just going to burn it where it stands!! "

SiD " That's a fire hazzard "

Guy " Neep seems to be having trouble lighting his lighter.. "

SiD " I'll be right back "

SiD gets up from his seat and walks away.

Guy " Ummm.. Okay.. Cash is begining to recover from his fall and slowly gets back to his feet.. Meanwhile, Neep's finally managed to light his lighter.. This could be it folks!! "

A load 'pop' echoes throughout the arena and Neep falls off the ladder.

Guy " Oh my God!! Someone just shot Neep!!!

As Neep lays bleeding on the mat, clenching his wounded leg, Cash pulls out his lighter and sets the Scotish flag on fire as SiD returns to the table.

Guy " Well.. Cash has succeeded in achieving the matches goal.. "

SiD " ..And more importantly, no American flag got burned "

Guy " Well, no "

Winner: Jason Cash
Guy " Well, I guess that wraps up this match and our show alike "

SiD " Here comes the paramedics.. They came faster than usual tonight "

Guy " True.. They usually take forever to arrive "

SiD " That's what I said "

Guy " Whatever.. Anyway that's all we have for you tonight folks.. Be sure to tune in next week for another fun filled episode of Havok "

SiD " Assuming there will be one "

Guy " Huh? What do you mean? "

SiD " Spidey said there might not be one next week "

Guy " Really? Oh.. Well in any case, if there is one be sure to check it out.. So to close out, on behalf of SiD and myself.. Goodnight "

RMWF

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Page Updated Mon Dec 17, 2001 2:52pm EST