The Slam is Back!!! 8-24-01 - Brought to you by WIL Double Productions © - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives2/8_24_01_Friday_Night

All your typical bullshit begins , logo's , theme music , shots of the fans holding stupid signs , as The Slam begins. The camera flys through the crowd down to the announcers table where our ever faithful and always dependable announcers Guy and SiD are seated.

" Welcome RMWF fans to a special addition of Friday Night Slam. This is Guy Mandel with SiD " The King " Nasty and the rest of The RMWF staff , preparing to bring you the best damn show the law will allow. Well SiD , The RMWF has been is tormoil once again. Spidey has gone MIA twice , we have once again had bomb threats by a man named Ultimo Hacker , and worse of all T-Money quit. Hahahahahaha!"

SiD " Heh , yeah what is a fed to do? When you lose the talents of somebody like T-Money you should just close up shop..."

( SiD and Guy go into a laughing fit as the scene cuts to outside. Two deformed rats sit by a pile of garbage as WIL Double walks up with CSD. They stand before the garbage heap as it begins to shake and grumble. CSD grabs WIL's arm but the CEO and former Prez just laughs reassuring him that every thing is ok...)

Trash Heap " WHO DARE DISTURBS THE GREAT TRASH HEAP???"

WIL " I do , WIL Double , founder and all knowing CEO of The RMWF."

Deformed Rat # 1 " If your all knowing why are you here to talk to The Great Trash Heap?"

WIL " Even someone as great as me needs guidence once in awhile. "

Trash Heap " Then ask your question..."

( WIL and CSD look at each other and shrug there shoulders. They hold up a finger to ask for a second then walk away to confirm with each other...)

( WIL wispering to CSD...)

" I don't really have anything to ask her , I just wanted to see The Great Trash Heap. Hehe she really does exsist , those damn fraggles were right , wanna go catch and eat one?"

( CSD shurgs his shoulders as WIL pulls out his cell phone , to call his new secretary and member of The Corporate Stable... )

WIL " Hey Jade , it's WIL. Yeah I got a problem you see I am at The Great Trash Heap and I don't have a question to ask her. Huh , you don't know , well what good are you? OK well bye. OH WAIT , did you eat lunch yet? No , good me and CSD are bringing a little something back so don't eat..."

( WIL and CSD walk back up to The Trash Heap and stare at her. WIL kicks at the ground with his foot then looks staright at the heap. All eyes are on The CEO ready to hear what knowledge he seeks. )

WIL " Uuuuum I was just wondering... Aaaaah , uuuum who is gonna win The Superbowl?"

( The Trash Heap sloshes back putting her little eyes glasses up to her eyes. CSD fingers his gun ready for the attack for waisting her time...)

Trash Heap " Oh my son for thousands of years I have sat here , the all knowing trash heap and time in and time out I have had to answer stupid life questions for them damn Fraggles. You do not know how long I have been waiting for someone smart enough to ask me a question like that."

( WIL and CSD stare at each other and shrug there shoulders , as the tarsh heap leans closer to them...)

Trash Heap " Come closer boy and you will know what no other man knows, the winner of the 2002 Superbowl!! "

( WIL leans in and the trash heap whispers into his ear... WIL's eyes widen and he takes a few steps back...)

WIL " Noooo , I could win a lot of money with that kinda info. Hey , could you tell me what horse to bet on in next weeks race?"

Rat # 2 " Only one question a day , now leave for ..."

Both Rats #1 & #2 " THE GREAT TRASH HEAP HAS SPOKEN!!!"

( Meanwhile back at the arena.... Guy and SiD are still laughing at T-Money...)

SiD " Aahhhh , hahahahahaha , T-Money!!!"

Guy " Hee hee , heeeee..."

SiD " God Guy , you have an annoying laugh..."

Guy " Not as annoying as T-Money , hee hee heeeee..."

SiD " ...... "

Guy " Anyway lets get on with the show... We have a lot to offer for you people tonight. Many great matches , many surprises and a special Q & A with WIL Double's new secretary Jade and Clive Anderson..."

SiD " Oh god that shold really be exciting..."

Guy " WELL THE SLAM IS BACK AND JUST FOR ONE NIGHT! SO LETS NOT WAISTE ANY MORE TIME!!!"

( Fireworks explode and thousands , NO , millions of people sit on the edge of there seats. The RMWF is still trucking along and there ever faithful fans can't wait for everything to get back to normal. The excitment in the air is thick and the anticipation is even thicker. The crowd explodes as WIL Double comes hustling down to the ring in a refs shirt , CSD and his new secretary by his side. His bodyguard and long time friend holds the ropes for him as he climbs in the ring and granbs a mic...)

WIL " Ladies and gentlemen WELCOME BACK TO THE SLAM!!!"

( The crowd pops again and starts to chant RMWF , RMWF... WIL holds up his hand to silence them , then a loud bang is heard.. WIL Double crumbles like a pile of bricks and chaos urupts... CSD covers the CEO and his secretary Jade brandishes a large gun... Mr. T head of security and Neep come charging down to the ring...)

Guy " WIL has been shot!!! WIL has been shot!!!"

SiD " I can't believe it somebody has finally gotten him."

Guy " Who did it? "

SiD " Heh who the fuck knows , he has so many enemies. It could be Cosa Nastra , Pro Life Activist , T-Money , Nick , his own mother , The CIA , the ..."

Guy " OK , ok we get the idea. He has a lot of enemies. They are getting him into the ambulence and rushing him to the hospital."

SiD " Oh , oh look at the driver. That is the driver from Sunday Night WAR. If he doesn't die from the gun shot wound he will die by that guy's bad driving. How many people has he run over?"

Guy " I lost count. Well Nightmare has just came out and is talking with Neep and Mr. T. WIL was suppose to be the special ref in his match with Jamester but I guess they are gonna have to find someone else. The conference goes on and Neep is now puling a referee shirt on over his head."

SiD " Guess he is the new ref. Hey this match is billed as a Junkyard Brawl , what the hell is that?"

Guy " Well in good old RMWF fashion , we have no idea so it is just a match held in The RMWF junkyard."

SiD " Did not know we had one."

Guy " We have everything..."

Nightmare -vs- Jamester ( Junkyard Brawl , Special Ref: Grant " Neep " Turner )
( The scene switches to a shot of a fence covered in barbedwire and a sign that reads...WARNING!!!
RMWF Property All Trespassers Will Be:
A. Shot
B. Eaten
C. Butt Raped
D. Or ignored. Why would you want to trespass in a junkyard? There is nothing but junk here! Jamester is standing on a pile of bashed up cars waiting for Neep and Nightmare to show up. Hundereds of little kids , white trash and other random fans press against the gates trying to get a glimpse of the match. At least 10 to 20 people are crushed or trampled in all the excitment...)

Guy " Nightmare and Neep have arrived at the junkyard and the junkman lets them in though the gate."

SiD " This is probably just a front for a place for The RMWF to hide all the people who have died over our one and a half year reign of terror."

Guy " We will stop at nothing to bring you great entertainment."

SiD " Yeah well how about this? We have already been broadcasting for over a half hour AND STILL NO FUCKING MATCHES! CAN WE GET ON WITH THIS STUPID JUNKYARD CRAP ALREADY."

Guy " Relax it has started with with Jametser taking down Nightmare with an elbow drop off that pile of cars. Nightmare stumbles around and Jamester picks up a muffler breaking it over his head. Neep checks to see if Nightmare is ok but just gets pushed out of the way by Jamester. He has Nightmare up for a choke slam and with a great display of power he turns around smashing him through a car window."

SiD " Looks like this one is over befor it started."

Guy " NO , Nightmare climbs out of the wreckage and is rolling up his sleeves."

SiD " What sleeves he has on a t-shirt?"

Guy " Nightmare charges Jamester and both me go down from a football style tackle. They are rolling on the ground in an all out , knock'em down brawl. Nightmare now choking Jamester and Neep does nothing. Jamester goes slamming into the fence and Nightmare then finds a discarded parking meater , bashing in Jamester's skull. Jamester in a desperate attempt grabs a cars bumper and blocks Nightmare's attacks. They clang weapons in some kind of medieval , junkyard , sword fight!"

SiD " Heh , it's more like two morons beating each other with junk. You make it sound like they are graceful. I have seen more grace in a doped up crack head."

Guy " Whatever happened to old school wrestling anicdotes?"

SiD " Huh? "

Guy " Yours always have to do with crack heads and people's mothers. You know most sport announcers use nice ones like...."

SiD " Like I have seen more grace in a one legged ballerina?"

Guy " Yes , yes thats more like it. Nice and family like."

SiD " BORING , how about this? I'll do my job and you do yours? There is a reason they keep me on the staff."

Guy " And why is that?"

SiD " To beef up your boring commentary."

Guy " Jamester had ended the sword fight with a nice foot sweep but Nightmare came back quick and strong dislodging his weapon with another devistating tackle..."

SiD " AHHHHHHHHHHHHH , oh yeah that was last week."

Guy " Huh? Nightmare has Jamester up for a press slam , Jamester looks winded after that fall and Nightmare take advantage going for the pin. Neep slides into place but Jamester kicks out before he can even count to one. Nightmare is up and not to happy with Neep , it looks like he is acussing Neep of a slow count. WATCH OUT , Oh man Jamester just nailed Nightmare from behind with a dicarded bicycle and he is now bleeding from his head. Nightmare is out cold and Jamester rolls him over for the pin. 1...2...3 Jamester has beaten Nightmare , he has beaten the ex-world champ!!!!"

SiD " NO , Neep is only holding up two fingers. He is saying Jamester did not win and man is he pissed..."

Guy " Jamester goes after Neep who backs up shaking his hands."

SiD " Neep's not afraid of Jamester is he?"

Guy " No , I do not think so. I think he just does not want to get involved. Now Jamester is chasing Neep around a pile of cars and he catches him by the leg but on the other side Nightmare is on his feet."

SiD " Jamester better pay attention to Nightmare not Neep..."

CRASH! BOOM!
Guy " Nightmare just pushed that pile of cars over and they came crashing down on Neep and Jamester. Oh man I can't believe it they both have to be dead."

SiD " NOOOOOO NOT NEEP!!! WHY , OH GOD WHY!!!"

Guy " Calm down SiD , The RMWF medical staff is digging them out. We will have to wait and see..."

Winner: Nightmare
( The scene cut back to the arena to a shot of Guy and SiD. SiD is almost in tears over Neep as Guy try's to alm him down...)

Guy " Why do you care that Neep may be dead , all you ever did was make fun of him?"

SiD " Yeah and he was the best to make fun of without him my career could be over. Some of my best material was about Neep and Fraser."

Guy " Well if it makes you any happier we have a chick fight coming up."

SiD " REALLY? "

Guy " Yes , right after the....

Rookie Brawl

Starring:Jason Ca$h , Outlaw , Misterio , Tommy Bunns , Brian Blaze , Carl Buzz , Lightning , Black Rove , and Pain
Guy " Well all the rookies are in the ring. This is a battle royal type match , you can only be eliminated by being tossed over the top rope. The last man in the ring gets the honors of being rookie of the month."

SiD " Which means?"

Guy " Bragging rights?"

SiD " No , abosultly nothing."

Guy " Yeah I guess. The bell has sounded and the match has begun."

SiD " I can hear the Three Stooges music already."

Guy " Just because they are new does not mean they are bad , SiD."

SiD " For this group of losers it does , just look at them."

Guy " It is total choas in the ring as each and every so called rookie are going at it to be named this months best."

SiD " You just read my mind Guy , some of these guys are not even rookies any more."

Guy " Lets break it down Black Rove has paired off with Misterio and is chocking him in the corner. Jason Cash and Outlaw are having a rematch as Outlaw takes Cash down with a strong clothesline. Uuuum Pain is being double teamed by Carl Buzz and Brian Blaze. Things are very crowded in the ring as there is not much room to move or manouver."

SiD " Man did Tommy Bunns just almost take off Black Rove's head from behind but Rove ducked it and..."

Guy " Eliminates Tommy Bunns."

SiD " Who was he anyway?"

Guy " Don't know but he is the first man to go and by the hands of Black Rove. Jason Cash has now gotten away from Outlaw who gives chase but is interruted by Pain. Pain with a running slam on Outlaw now picks him up and is ready to toss him over the top rope. No dice as Outlaw staves off elimination with a little help from Lightning who sends Carl Buzz flying into Pain. Pain is pissed and goes looking for Lightning. Meanwhile , Jason Cash has found a choked and beaten down Misterio in the corner and begins to deliver boots into his midsection. Pain and Lightning meet in the middle of the ring a tie up."

SiD " Aaaah man this is just to confusing."

Guy " Yeah this rookie brawl keeps raging on but only one man has been eliminated. The stakes are just to high and no one wants to lose. CARL BUZZ over the top rope but lands on the ring apron and slips back into the ring. Misterio has just been eliminated by Jason Cash. Black Rove has hooked up with Outlaw and both men are laying down a whouping into Brian Blaze."

SiD " Does Black Rove look familiar? "

Guy " No , why?"

SiD " Just wondering , he kinda reminds me of someone."

Guy " Bryan Blaze is down and trying to crawl away from both men. Rove decides he has had enough punishment and turns on Outlaw. Double ax handle by Rove followed by a reverse suplex taking out Outlaw. But death from above as somehow Lightning just came flying off the top rope nailing Rove. This match is crazy I can not keep up with all the action. Looks like Lightning has left Pain in the center of the ring flat on his face and Carl Buzz is gonna clean up the trash by eliminating him. No , Pain says NO!!!"

SiD " ..... "

Guy " Pain delivered a big right hand and keeps on going backing Buzz up into the ropes. Clothesline sends Buzz over the top earning him no rookie of the months honors. We are down to just six men as the battle royal continues. Lets see Jason Cash finds Outlaw and is trying to flip him over the turnbuckle thus eliminating him . Bryan Blaze gets revenge on Black Rove and Lightning has Pain by the hair flipping him over for a pile driver. BLACK ROVE just came off the ropes and landed a head scissors flipping Brian Blaze over the top rope. "

SiD " They are getting eliminated quicker now that they have wrestled for awhile and wore themselves down.."

Guy " The match still rages on as the last five men still battle it out fiercely. Lightning leaves Pain to come over and help Jason Cash finally flip Outlaw over the turnbuckle and he is out of the brawl."

SiD " Yeah he was doing a good job holding off Cash but could not stop both men from eliminating him."

Guy " Pain is looking for Lightning but runs into Black Rove who nails him with a clothesline then delivers a power bomb... Black Rove tears into Pain as Jason Cash and Ligthning look on. Black Rove with a scoop slam followed by a knee drop."

SiD " I am telling you he looks familar."

Guy " Who?"

SiD " Black Rove. "

Guy " Well we have seen him in other matches besides this one. Aaaanyway , Black Rove has Pain up for a choke slam and dishes him out , over the top rope and on to the stairs. Pain crashes down hard on the steps and does not move. Now Johnny and Ligthning start to make there move , Black Rove takes a few steps back then hops over the top rope? "

SiD " He just eliminated himself? "

Guy " Johnny and Ligthning seem confused but just turn to each other getting ready to settle who is rookie of the month. They tie up and Lightning backs up Cash into the ropes , slapping on a chicken wing. Outside the ring Black Rove is pulling something out from under the ring. It looks like a casket?"

SiD " Thats who it is IT'S FRIGGEN DARKSTALKA!!! I KNEW HE LOOKED FAMILAR!!"

Guy " I think your right it is Darkstalka. He must of put on the Black Rove act to dodge the ban on him in The RMWF."

SiD " Well security better get him and kill him for decieving us like that."

Guy " Why SiD , we do not kill people here in The RMWF..."

SiD " Oh yeah , heh."

Guy " In the ring Lightning has Jason Cash up for a power bomb but just as he finihes the move , Darkstalka comes into the ring with a whip. He snaps the whip cathing Lightning right above the left eye and he falls back holding his face. Darkstalka scoops up Jason and slams him down over the top rope into the casket."

SiD " He's insane he could of blinded Lightning."

Guy " Well what he is doing now is even worse. He has just sealed that casket and lit it on fire. Now he has a mic and is addressing the crowd while he chokes Lightning with the whip..."

Darkstalka " No ban is keeping me from The RMWF and as you guessed it I am , NO ROOKIE!!! Darkstalka is BACK!!!"

Guy " Darkstalks tosses down the mic and exits the ring. The RMWF Crew is dousing the flames on the casket and getting Jason Cash out. They are awarding Lightning the brawl but it is not gonna be a too celebrated victory as The Dark One stole that away from them."

Winner and Rookie of the Month : Lightning
Guy " Looks like Jason Cash is alright as Lightning helps him back stage , we will be right back after these messages."

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Page Updated Mon Dec 17, 2001 2:52pm EST