Wednsday Night Havok 8-22-01 - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives2/8_22_01_Wednsday_Night

The camera pans across the fan filled Nassau Collisium as Havok's theme music plays. The cameras zoo in on the announcer's table as the music subsides.

Guy " Welcome one and all for another episode of Havok! We are coming to you live from The Nassau Collisium in.. "

SiD " Is this show going to be completed? "

Guy " Ummm.. I would hope so.. "

SiD " Well I just wanted to make sure. Cause the last one wasn't "

Guy " True enough. I was told however, the reason for last week's incomplete show was because at the last minute Spidey had to rush to Germany for some secret mission or something "

SiD " Where'd you hear that jive? I heard he went to Florida to kick his heroin habit "

Guy " Well either way, he is back and.. "

SiD interupts, " Roll the tape.. "

Spidey on the tape " In case you haven't figured it out by now, that clown that posted that crap wasn't me. The proof's in the puddin my niggaz -> cuz i wasn't on vacation & didn't let anyone down "

SiD " 'The proof's in the puddin'? What the hell's that crap? "

Guy " I don't know

SiD " So this show was booked by 'an imposter'.. If you ask me though Spidey probably did book it himself but was just too screwed up to remember "

Guy " Well that couldn't have been possible SiD.. Spidey didn't have the communications devices neccesary to do anything related to the RMWF during his absence "

SiD " Oh? And how do you know this? "

Guy " Spidey e-mailed me "

SiD " Wait.. What?! If he e-mailed you then.. "

Guy chuckles " I was joking "

SiD scoffs " Oh, well you're not very good at it "

Guy " Well if I was.. I'd be a stand-up comic and not an announcer "

SiD sighs, " Let's just change this stupid subject.. Or better yet, let's just get the damn show rolling already "

Guy " Alright then.. Our first match.. "

Pain -vs- Steven Hurst
The lights cut out then Static X's 'Push It comes blaring throughout the darkness. Stobe lights begin erupting, lighting up the entryway as Pain stands afore the ramp. He strides down it, enters the ring then climbs up on the second ropes. He stares up the ramp with a demented look upon his face as his music fades away and the newcomer, Steven Hurst makes his way out and down to the ring.

SiD " I though Pain quit the fed a long time ago "

Guy " Why would you think that? "

SiD " I don't know. I just did "

Guy " Well obviously you were mistaken "

The bell rings and the two wrestlers lock up.

Guy " Pain with a neckbreaker.. He's off the ropes for a running leg drop which Hurst rolls clear of at the last second.. Hurst leaps to his feet and gives a drop kick to Pain, who manages to block it!! Hurst hits the mat and Pain stomps him a few times before pulling him to his feet and whipping him into the ropes... When he rebounds, Pain sidewalk slams him!! Now a figure four to the new-comer... "

SiD " That Steve Hurst kid isn't fairing to well out there "

Guy " No.. He's not.. I guess he isn't quite ready yet for the big leagues "

SiD " Nope "

Guy " Pain with a Boston crab.. "

Steven Hurst taps out.

Winner: Pain
Guy " Oh well.. Maybe the kid'll train some more then make a come back "

SiD scoffs, " Yeah right "

The camera cuts over to Spiderman who is sitting in the hover chair of his penthouse office. He has his sleave rolled up and is getting a tattoo on his forearm by a young Peurto Rican kid and is talking on a cell phone.

Spidey " Look pal.. This is the last time I'm going to spell this out for you.. Even though I am the Vice-Prez though I run this stinking fed.. I do everything here that needs doing.. Updates.. Expansions.. You name it.. Wil? Wil's CEO.. Yeah, He USED to be the Prez.. That was awhile ago.. Before he closed the fed and I re-opened it.. Now he's the CEO.. The RMWF's Prez is GOLDUST now.. You got all that? The commisioner? That's Tone Capone.. Or actually it might be Neep now.. I think Wil tossed him that bone to shut him up "

He looks over to the guy giving him the tattoo.

Spidey " Morons.. Yeah.. Yeah I was calling you a moron.. I've explained all that crap countless times yet you still can't grasp it.. Scorpian? No.. He doesn't run the fed either.. Duh, hello? Didn't I just tell you that I run it Einstien? Fuck this shit.. It's like arguing with a retard "

He hangs up the cell phone.

Spidey " Why is it so hard for them to except that Goldust is the Prez and Wil's the CEO? I mean.. The staff page says it pretty damn clearly.. Ain't like it's in Chineese or nothin "

The Peurto Rican tattoo guy just shrugs his shoulders.

Spidey sighs " You're just about as usless as the rest of them "

The cell phone rings and Spidey sighs.

Spidey " Now what? "

He looks at the phone's caller I.D. and tosses the phone aside.

Spidey " No way! I'm definatly not in the mood to talk to Neep right now! Not that I ever am.. "

He grumbles to himself then studies the progress of his new tattoo and sighs. The camera then switches back over to SiD and Guy.

SiD " What was all that crap about? "

Guy " Seemed pretty obvious to me.. Spidey's getting sick of explaining to people that Wil isn't the Prez anymore, that Goldust isn't the Commisioner anymore and that he's the one who runs the fed "

SiD " Who runs the fed? "

Guy " Spidey "

SiD " I know that but.. What else does he do? "

Guy sighs out of confusion, " Weren't you watching? Do you even know what it takes to run a federation? "

SiD " I know.. "

Guy " Then what does it take? "

SiD " You deal with all the wrestlers, their problems, bullshit, etc.. Deal with all the staff's problems and bullshit too.. Making sure they do their jobs and do shows on time,etc.. You update things like the roster and rankings and everything else that needs to be updated.. "

Guy " And? "

SiD " AND.. Expansions, you know making the fed bigger... "

Guy " Wow, I'm impressed that you actually DO know "

SiD " Yeah, I got BRAINS AND brawn "

Guy " Oh please.. You left out though that in running a wrestling fed, you don't get paid or appreciated.. Just like you and me "

SiD " That's why I announce.. Spidey offered me a more prestigous staff job once but I turned him down "

Guy " No he didn't "

SiD " Yeah he did "

Guy " When? "

SiD " Awhile ago "

Guy " And what job was this? "

SiD " Umm.. Assistant.. Vice.. Prez "

Guy " Yeah okay "

SiD " Well anyway.. Our next match is about to start so.. "

The Crazy One MJ -vs- Misterio CANCELED by CEO WIL DOUBLE
Guy " No it's not "

SiD " Yeah it is "

Guy " Nope "

SiD " How do you figure? "

Guy " I've just been informed that our next match has been canceled "

SiD " Who told you that? "

Guy " Ummm.. Look up.. It says so on the Titan-tron "

SiD " Oh.. Well this is Spidey's show.. How does Wil have the power to cancel a match? "

Guy " Easy.. Spidey didn't care if the match happened or not and Wil gave him an excuse not to waste the time on it "

SiD " Lazy bastard "

Guy " You're one to talk "

SiD " Nigga puh-leez! "

Guy blinks, " What? "

SiD chuckles, " Let's just get on to our next match already.. Or did Goldust cancel it? "

Guy " No it's not canceled.. "

Bone Crusher -vs- Eric "The Crusher" Johnson
'Last Resort' by Papa Roach hits the PA system asBone Crusher walk out and down the ramp. As he enters the ring, Eric "The Crusher" Johnson emerges at the entryway and makes his way down to the ring.

Guy " There's the bell.. Bone Crusher takes control with a snap suplex to Johnson.. "

SiD " Crusher.. Verse.. Crusher "

Guy " Yeah "

SiD " Don't you think that's kind of an odd coincedence? "

Guy " Not really.. I'm sure the name similarities are the reason the two were booked against each other "

SiD " Maybe "

Guy " Maybe? "

SiD " Yeah "

Guy sighs, " Okay.. Bone Crusher whips Eric into the turnbuckles.. He hits him in the gut with a running knee kick then grabs Johnson's head and knees him in the face!!! "

SiD " It doesn't even look like Johnson's trying.. What the hell's the point of signing up for a match if you not going to fight? "

Guy " Well actually he requested to fight Steve the Heater "

SiD " Shit!! That's even worse!! Steve'd cream the kid!! "

Guy " Cream? "

SiD " Shut up "

Guy " Wel it was the fake Spidey.. Or Wil who booked the match anyway "

SiD " So? What the hell does that have to do with anything? "

Guy " I'm not sure "

SiD " Then be quiet "

Guy " Fine.. "

Bone Crusher delivers a piledriver to Eric Johnson.

Guy " ..The match is over anyway "

Winner by K.O.: Bone Crusher
SiD " Eric shouldn't have even showed up for that match if he wasn't going to try to win it "

Guy " Didn't we already cover that topic SiD? "

SiD " Hey, I'm just trying filling up some of the exesive amount of time we have "

Guy " Well.. Well let's just move on to our next match instead of repeating the same conversations.. Sound good? "

SiD " Not really.. But let's do it anyway "
Black Rove -vs- Jason Cash
'Let's Get Dirty' by Redman hits the PA system and out walks Black Rove. He makes his way down the ramp and into the ring as the lights dim and his theme music is replaced by Ludacris's 'You's a Ho' then Jason Cash appears at the mouth of the ramp. As he walks down to the ring, the lights gradually return to their previous level of illumination. When he enters the ring, the bell rings.

SiD " What's with that Black Rove guy? I mean.. That silver mask he's wearing isn't very stylish "

Guy " Well he wears it because his face is messed up "

SiD " Messed up how? "

Guy " I don't know.. I think he got mauled by a tiger or something "

SiD " Oh.. Well how the hell did he get mauled by a tiger? It's not like the run wild aroung here or anything "

Guy " Ummm.. Well the guy's like a hunter or something "

SiD " Oh.. I see "

Guy " Yeah.. So anyway.. Rove triple powerbombs Jason Cash then gives him a victory roll... Cash gets halfway back to his feet and gets kicked in the ribs by Rove.. Which sends him flying about five feet across the ring!! Rove walks over to him and grabs Jason's leg and tries for a leg breaker but gets booted in the face instead!!! "

The lights dim and 'Flower of Scotland' plays over the PA.

SiD " Oh no "

Neep comes struting out, waving a Scottish flag. The fans both cheer and laugh at him as he makes his way down to the ring.

SiD " What the hell does he want? "

Neep walks over to the announcer's table and picks up one of their microphones.

Neep " Greetings one and all.. I guess you have heard that I am the NEW Commisioner!! "

SiD " Oh brother "

Neep " Well that's all I wanted to say really.. Well that and that I WON't LET YOU DOWN WIL AND SPIDEY!!!! "

SiD " Yeah he will "

Neep climbs into the ring and smacks Jason Cash upside the head with his flag which sends him down hard. He skips around him then starts jabbing Cash in the back with the flag.

SiD " What the hell's he doing out there? I didn't know Neep had a problem with Jason Cash!! "

Guy " Neither did I.. Oh wait.. He's winking and nodding at Black Rove.. I guess the two of them are friends "

SiD " I didn't think Neep had any friends "

Guy " Well neither did I... Which makes this all the more surprising!! Black Rove picks up Jason Cash and gives him a spinning neckbreaker.. There's the cover!!! "

Neep circles the ring, waving his flag as the ref counts.

Guy " Well, that's 3.. It's over for Jason Cash

Winner: Black Rove
Guy " Now for our next match our camera's are going to cut over to New York City's Bellview Mental Institution.. The ward for the criminally insane.. "

SiD " .. 'The Danger Ward' "

Main Event
Outlaw -vs- Bryan "The Fear" Blaze
Asylum Match
Special Ref Nightmare
The cameras show a large recreation room which is filled with about two dozens patients, wearing either dirty pajamas, bath robes or stained hospital gowns. There are a few however who are completely naked. One of the cameras follows a wirey looking guy, known here only as Jeffery, who is wearing a bedpan as a helmet and a moth eatin bath robe. As he makes his way down one of the corridors he passes the nurses' station and the camera glimpses through the glass window for a moment, revealing three nurses and a single orderly, who are battered and bound to their chairs with medical tape. The man continues down the hallway, and stops at one door in particular which reads, 'Blaze, B.'. He digs his hand into one of the pockets of his bath robe and retreives a shiney ring of keys. He attempts to unlock the door three times before finally succeeding to use the correct key and then swings the door open. The camera peeks inside the room, which is actually a heavily padded cell that is pitch black inside, save a small sliver of moonlight which cuts through the room from a tiny window. That moonlight falls upoan the cell's occupant, Bryan Blaze, or Bryan "The Fear" Blaze, as he is prefered to be called.

Jeffery grins like a child on Christmas morning " Wakey, wakey.. Eggs and bakey!"

Blaze, says nothing. He doesn't even nod, he simply steps out of his cell and procedes to follow Jeffery back to the main room. Waiting for him are two faces familiar to our loyal viewers, that of Nightmare and Outlaw. The onlooking pateints clear a pit and Blaze steps up to Nightmare, who is the only thing seperating him from Outlaw. Nightmare steps back a few yards as Jeffery removes his bed pan helm and punches it with a delicate fist, breakin two of his fingers. The two wrestlers lock up. Blaze flings Outlaw against a concrete wall then charges him with a shoulder block. Outlaw evades however and Bryan collides with the wall with a solid thud. Meanwhile, Jefferey is walking over to the nurses' station. He enters it through the door which had been busted up when they had neutralized the staff. He pulls up a chair to the desk, the only seat left unoccupied, then flips on the loud speaker which screaches and squeels, forcing the patients to wail and cover their ears. He quickly turns the volume down, with his good hand, then nervously apoligizes over the loud speaker.

Jeffery " Heh.. Heh.. S-sorry about that.. "

In a blink, his demeanor reverts and his face adopts a goofy grin, " Time for your meds everyone.. Line up in an orderly fashion. After you take your meds, you can use your sharps.. But ya can't use your sharps unless ya take your meds! "

He giggles to himself like a twelve year old girl talking about boys. Amidst the fight and across the small crowd, Nightmare shoots him a disapproving look and Jeffery slumps down in his seat.

Jeffery " I sorry.. Sorry.. I-I'll be good.. Okay? Okay.. Ummm.. 'T-the Fear' gives Outlaw a necktie slam! And he follows it with a knee drop! You show him Blaze!! Yeah! You show him! "

Outlaw, having quickly returned to his feet whips Blaze into the wall then drags an elderly patient from her wheel chair. Outlaw snatches up the chair and runs at Blaze from behind.

Jeffery " No! Look out Bryan 'The Fear' Blaze! He's got a.."

Bryan turns to face his opponent a moment before Outlaw smashes the wheel chair over his head.

Jeffery " You can't do that! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!! That's Bryan 'The Fear' Blaze! You can't do that!!! "

The patients all gasp as Blaze hits the cold floor. Outlaw throws the wheel chair at him. It nails him square in the shoulder. Outlaw moves closer and begins stomping at Bryan.

Jeffery " Oh get up 'The Fear'!! Why won't you get up?! "

Outlaw stomps Blaze once.. Twice.. The third time though, Blaze grabs hit foot.

Jeffery " Yes!! "

Blaze gets back to his feet, not lessining his grips. Outlaw hops on his other foot to try to retain his balance. It doesn't help much however because Blaze thrusts Outlaw to the floor by the leg then slaps on a figure four leg lock.

Jeffery " See that's what happens when you fuck with Bryan 'The Fear' Blaze! No one fucks with Bryan 'The Fear' Blaze!! "

The crowd cheer Bryan or cackle at Outlaw. Outlaw grunts in pain as his opponent applies more pressure to his leg. Outlaw stretches and stretches then finally reaches a cane, he pulls it out from under the man supported by it and swings it back at Blaze. The now cane-less man crashes to the floor as the cane cracks Blaze across the skull and shatters.

Jeffery " NO!! Stop that! You play nice damn you! Play nice!! "

Outlaw gets up, and momentarily brushes the cane's splinters off himself before delivering a swift kick to Bryan's ribs. He grabs his arm and wit a crunch, kicks the back of Blaze's elbow.

Jeffery whines, " Aaaahhhh!! Nightmare! He's hurting 'The Fear', Nightmare!! Do something! Do SOMETHIIIIING!! "

Nightmare pays little attention to him though. At this point he's too preoccupied with hitting on one of the younger of the female pateints. She seems fairly catatonic though, maybe Nightmare'll get lucky for once. Jeffery snaps up from the desk and rushes out of the station. Unaware that in his haste he had kneed the nurses' silent panic button hidden underneathe the desk top. He marches through the crowd and coming up on Outlaw from behind, gives him a double axe handle. He only succeeds in getting Outlaw's attention though.. in a bad way. Outlaw turns and scoops the little mental patient up then slams him on top of Blaze. Jeffery's head slams against the hard floor then begins spilling blood. At this, Nightmare abandons his attempts at seduction and steps in..

Nightmare " Jesus! "

Outlaw laughs at the bloody little guy while Bryan Blaze comes up behind him and power slams him through the room's ping pong table. Briefly stunned, Outlaw is unable to shake Bryan Blaze off of him as he pins him out.

Winner: Bryan "The Fear" Blaze
Suddenly, the main doors to the unit slam open and six enormous orderlies and a doctor come barging through. The patients all scatter like mice at as the six men move into action, chasing them all back to their rooms. It takes two of them and a shot of thorazine from the doctor to subdue Blaze and return him to his padded cell. The doctor approaches Nightmare and Outlaw as he climbs out of the ping pong table's wreckage then glances down at the body of Jefferey, over to the camera, then back to Nightmare

Doctor " Just what the fuck is going on in here?! "

Nightmare " Well, we were uh.. Filming a documentary, on how well the insane are treated in this prestigous hospital.

The doctor raises a suspicious eyebrow.

Nightmare " Then the big one goes nuts and attacked that little guy! We tried to stop him of course "

Doctor" Of course "

Nightmare " We were so scared! "

Outlaw " Yeah, thank God you guys showed up when you did "

Nightmare " Right! "

Doctor " Well where is the whole nursing staff? "

Nightmare " Ummm.. "

He glances about, eyeing the where-abouts, or lack therefore of, the orderlies. As does Outlaw, then cold cocks the doctor. The two haul ass as the camera man follows, hurrying behind them. The cameras return to SiD an Guy.

SiD sarcastically, " Well that went well "

Guy " Uhh, yeah "

SiD " Looks like the RMWF's lawyers' kids' are getting braces this year.. Or cars or whatever the hell rich people blow money on their kids for "

Guy " Yeah.. "

The credits start to roll.

Guy " ..But actually, we've exceeded our alotted air-time.. How we weren't cut off by now I don't know.. "

SiD shrugs his shoulders.

Guy " So I geuss then I'll just wrap this up real quick.. On behalf of SiD and myself, I'd like to wish you all good luck in whatever it is you do.. And a Good Night "

RMWF

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Page Updated Mon Dec 17, 2001 2:52pm EST