Wednsday Night Havok 8-1-01 - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives2/8_1_01_Wednsday_Night

The cameras show Spidey sitting in the hover chair of his penthouse office, talking on the phone

Spidey " ..Yeah, so it doesn't look like this Wrestling Camp things gonna fly.. Oh well.. But yeah, I'll get back to you.. "

He hangs up the cell phone and sets it on the arm of his chair.

Spidey " Why are you guys filming me? This is the show so many have been waiting for.. Cut to it "

The cameras switch to a fan filled arena. They pan around the cheering crowd before focusing in on, then zooming in on the announcer's table. The camera cuts to a closer one, table side.

Guy " Welcome everyone to a Havok that will go down in the history books.. "

SiD " More like go down the toilet "

Guy " We have the RMWF's new jack's against the RMWF's old schoolers in a slew of matches.. Then a Battle Royal featuring all of them in Thunder Dome! "

SiD " So, they finally got around to using Thunder Dome huh? Oh joy "

Guy " Since we have such a big show tonight, let's not waste any time and get this ball rolling shall we? "

Grant "Neep" Turner -vs- C.J. & Top Dollar Kid
Hardcore Handicap Match
The titan-tron shows a brick wall being spray painted with the name "Rebel". The wall then explodes as Rebel, the match's special ref, walks out.

SiD " This should be interesting "

When he enters the ring his music fades and is then replaced with 'Rollin' by Limp Bizkit as Neep comes strolling out and down to the ring. Next, C.J. and Top Dollar Kid walk out together. They enter the ring and the bell rings.

Guy " Neep whips C.J. into the turnbuckles and punches TDK in the face!! TDK responds with a sidewalk slam as C.J. runs over and gives Neep a victory roll.. TDK starts to apply a leg lock to the Scotsman but Neep kicks him in the face and gets back up.. C.J. slaps a sleeper on Neep while TDK starts punching Neep in the stomach!! C.J. turns the move into a sleeper suplex then TDK falls down on Neep for the pin!!! 1.2. "

SiD " Kickout.. I don't think I've ever seen a ref count as fast as that before "

Guy " Yeah, I'm guessing Rebel isn't a big Neep fan "

SiD " Who is? "

Guy " Neep has alot of fans. He won the People's Choice Award last year "

SiD " That was the Lifetime Achievment Award.. 'The People's Choice' is for movies.. I think "

Guy " Well whatever.. He's still a fan favorate "

SiD " If you say so.. "

As the three wrestlers continue to battle it out "The Immortal" Chris Heid and Snakebite come walking out and to the ring.

SiD " Now what the hell do those two want? "

Guy " Well.. They slide into the ring.. "The Immortal" gives C.J. a back drop while Snakebite reverse side belly suplexes Top Dollar Kid!! That answer your question?? "

SiD " Yeah.. "

Guy " Rebel grabs Snakebite and hip tosses him over the ropes, to the concrete floor outside the ring.. Heid is straddling C.J. and punching the crap out of him as Neep powerbombs TDK!!! Rebel moves over to Heid but Heid gets off of C.J. and runs away from him, over to TDK.. "

SiD " Now what? "

Guy " Heid grabs TDK and drags him out of the ring as Neep puts the pin on C.J.! Rebel's obviously acting like he doesn't notice though! "

Snakebite returns to the ring and tackles Rebel and they land by Neep and C.J.. He then slaps Rebel's hand against the mat three times, forcing the count.

SiD " Is that legal? "

Guy " I guess so "

Winner: Neep
Rebel throws Snakebite off him and stands up then kicks him in the face. As Heid returns to the ring, Rebel leaves it and walks over to the announcer's table.

SiD " Why's he have to come over here and bother us? "

Snakebite and Chris Heid approach Neep and shake his hand. Meanwhile, Rebel pulls up a chair at SiD and Guy's table.

Rebel " That match was bullshit "

SiD " ... "

Guy " I guess those three have joined forces now "

SiD " Yeah, so much for you trying to cheat out there "

Rebel " Hey, it's only cheating if you get caught "

SiD " Well.. Ummm there's no way a ref could cheat without it being obvious.. So what you just said makes no sense "

Rebel " SiD.. "

Rebel flexes his muscles as he cracks his knuckles.

Rebel " Shut up "

Neep glances over to Rebel and an expression of annoyance crosses his face. He climbs out of the ring and marches up the ramp and through the door as Roadies begin assembling the steel cage around the ring.

SiD " What's he up to? "

Guy " Beats me.. But it looks like the cage is almost finished so.. Let's move onto the next match "

SiD " Those guys are fast.. Must be speed "

"Scarface" Al Capone -vs- Johnny Electric
Cage Match
The camera pans from the steel cage across the cheering crowd, who are holding signs which read " Johnny IS Electric", "Show Me Your Tits!" and "The Guy Behind Me Can't See Shit!", to name a few. P.O.D. then hits the PA system as Johnny Electric walks out and makes his way to the ring. Next, Scarface comes out and the crowd cheers wildly. The two enter the cage and a roadie locks the doors behind them.

SiD " Where's Gary Coleman? He should be out there "

Rebel " I guess they expected me to be the ref for all the matches? "

Guy " Who knows.. This type of match doesn't really need a ref though "

Rebel " Yeah "

Guy " Well, the two lock-up.. Johnny gives Scarface a spinning neck breaker then runs off the ropes for a running elbow drop! He pulls Scarface back up but Scarface hits him with a right hook, then shoves him back a few steps.. JE charges at him with a clothesline but Capone side-steps and grabs his arm, giving him a hammer lock!! Turned into an arm drop!! "

SiD " Damn.. That's a good way to break a guy's arm "

Rebel " Maybe that's the idea "

SiD gives Rebel a dirty look but remains silent.

Guy " Scarface with an armlock.. "

Rebel " That's a pretty good stratigy "

SiD " Huh? "

Rebel " Scarface keeps working on Johnny's arm... It's gonna be hard for him to climb out of a cage if his arm's shot to hell "

SiD " Oh yeah.. "

Guy " Scarface pulls JE up and gives him a short armed clothesline, then a knee drop to his arm.. Yeah, I think that arm is going to be useless in climbing out of that cage.. "

Johnny Electric gets back to his feet and missle dropkicks Scarface. He follows with a November hip lock.

Guy " Johnny mounts Scarface and punches him in the face a few times.. And now is darting for the cage wall!! "

Johnny starts slowly acending the cage as Scarface gets back to his feet and walks over to him.

SiD " Looks like Scarface's stratigy paid off.. Johnny can barely scale that wall "

Rebel " I told you "

Guy " Scarface snatches JE off the wall and throws him to the mat.. He gives him a Sicilian knee buster!!! "

SiD sighs.

Guy " Now Scarface is going for the wall.. He's half way up.. JE runs over and grabs his foot!! Scarface kicks at him but can't seem to shake him off!! "

SiD " Oh give it up.. You lost.. Let him go "

Guy " Scarface's boot slips off and Johnny hits the mat! Scarface reaches the top and starts heading down the other side.. Giving us out winner "

Winner: Scarface
The cameras cut over to the Vice-Prez's penthouse office where Spider-man is seated in his hover chair. Before him stands Killer J.

Spidey " Just a little announcement.. Black Widow.. Hell.. She's never around so she's not going to be my bodyguard anymore..

Killer J " So what's that have to do with me? Do you want me to be your new bodyguard?! "

Spidey says flatly, " No. I've brought an old 'friend' of the fed in to fill that spot.. Jason? "

Jason Vorhees comes lumbering into view, breathing heavily.

Spidey " Yup.. Ol Jase here's gonna be my new bodyguard.. "

Killer J " Oh.. Okay. So what'd you want to see me about anyway? "

Spider-Man gestures at Killer J with a nod and Jason begins walking toward him. Spidey then picks up his phone and starts dailing it. ( He's calling Gary Coleman to tell him to ref the show ).

Killer J " Umm.. "

Killer J starts walking backwards, then as Jason closes in he turns and starts to run like hell. He goes to the elevator and pushes the button repeatedly as Jason slowly closes the distance between them.

Killer J " Come on! "

Spidey " There's no use in trying to escape.. "

Finally, the elevator chimes and when the doors slide open, Killer J dashes inside then starts pounding at the 'close door' button.

Killer J " Please God.. "

The doors begin to shut as Jason approaches the elevator. He thrusts his arm between the closing doors and Killer J cries out. Jason pries the doors open then steps inside. He grabs Killer J by the throat as the elevator doors close. A gut wrenching scream comes from within, followed by a load thud as the elevator begins to decend. The camera cuts to the RMWF lobby where Neep is waiting in front of the elevator.

Neep " That was fucked up having Rebel as the ref in my match! Spidey better make up for that crap! "

The elevator doors open and blood comes pouring out of them, onto the lobby floor. Neep screams.

Neep " Oh the humanity!! "

He glances up, sees Jason, and looks back to the blood again. He then turns around and runs out the lobby doors screaming. The cameras return to SiD and Guy.

SiD " Ummm.. "

Guy " Yeah "

SiD " Spidey's getting sicker and sicker.. "

Rebel " Oh get over it.. He just gives the viewers what they wanna see "

Guy " Yeah, Havok does have the highest ratings.. "

SiD " Which makes it all even worse "

Guy " But anyway.. Our match is starting, so let's pay attention "

SiD grumbles.

Angel & Nightmare -vs- The Crippler
Table Match
'6 Feet Under Ground' by Ja Rule hits the PA system as The Crippler walks out, occompanied by Beast, and the two head down the ramp. Beast takes a place on the apron and as Crippler climbs into the ring, Nightmare and Angel come on the Titan-tron. Angel is wearing a tacky dress and a nappy wig with sloppy make-up on his face whereas Nightmare is dressed like the Crippler.

SiD " What's this crap? "

Angel in a dress " Now good luck out there tonite baby. You show em yur mother din't raise no loser "

Nightmare as The Crippler " Yes momma.. I'll whoop em real good "

Guy " That's terrible "

Angel as Crippler's mother " That's a good boy.. Now give your momma a kiss "

Nightmare as The Crippler " Aww shucks maw.. Not now.. I gots ta get goin "

Angel as Crippler's mother " Oh all right.. But then that means you have to kiss me in my special place later on tonight! "

Rebel laughs.

Nightmare as The Crippler " Really maw?! I shore would like that! "

The Crippler's face is turning red with anger as the image on the titan-tron ends and Nightmare and Angel walk out. As soon as Angel starts to climb into the ring, Crippler attacks him.

Guy " Crippler hoists Angel off the apron and tiger slams him into the ring!! Nightmare slides in and hits Crippler from behind with a double axe handle.. Which knocks him to a hand and knee.. Nightmare kicks him in the ribs, sending him flying over onto his back!! Angel rushes over and slaps on a scissor choke hold!! "

SiD " Have we gotten a ref yet?? "

Rebel points to Gary Coleman who is rushing out to the ring, " Well unless that little black kid doesn't count I'd say no "

Guy " That didn't make sence Rebel.. Double negative too "

Rebel " Huh? "

Guy " Nevermind.. Angel and Nightmare lift The Crippler up and piledrive him!!! Angel gives a falling head-butt while Nightmare throws in an elbow drop!!! Nightmare goes for a pin.. 1..2.. The Crippler kicks out.. "

SiD " Did they forget it's a table match? "

The Crippler rolls away and gets back to his feet just in time to duck a clothesline from Angel.. He's unable to avoid Nightmare though, who dropkicks him!! "

When Crippler ducked Angel's arm, Angel went into the turnbuckle where The Beast put a reverse choke hold on him.

SiD " Angel's taking some punishment from Beast "

Rebel " Beast doesn't even look like a real wrestler.. Looks more like high school wrestling'd be more his speed "

SiD snickers.

Guy " Crippler goes for a hip toss but Nightmare powerbombs him instead!! Make that a double powerbomb!! Finally get away from Beast, Angel slides out of the ring and retrieves one of the tables.. Nightmare drops down and starts choking Crippler with his knee.. Angel sets up the table then runs over and kicks Crippler in the groin!! Nightmare pulls Crippler back to his feet and.. Crippler snapmares him!! The he uppercuts Angel!! He starts stomping Angel's head.. Paying no attention to Nightmare who is back up.. Nightmare goes off the ropes and hits Crippler with a running hurricanrana!!! He runs to the turnbuckles as Angel tosses Crippler atop the table... This could be it folks "

SiD " Here comes Beast running in.. "

Guy " Yeah but Angel keeps him at bay with a spinebuster!!! Nightmare lionsaults off the turnbuckle and lands squarly on Crippler, sending him crashing through the table!! ..And that's it! "

Winner: Angel & Nightmare
SiD " I always thought table matches were lame "

Rebel " They're hard.. A pain in the ass too "

Nightmare and Angel point at Crippler and laugh over-dramatically at him.

SiD " What assholes.. No one likes a sore winner "

Guy " Yeah.. But you don't like anyone.. Regardless "

SiD " You got a point "

Rebel " So what's next? "

Guy " The tag match "

Rebel " Cool "

Primal Punishers -vs- Holy Shit
Tag Titles
Ring girl, Jenna Jamison comes out wearing a french cut string bikini and holding the Tag Belts. She walks down the ramp, shaking her hips as the arena is flooded with flash photography and catcalls.

Rebel " Awww yeah.. She's the best thing about Title matches "

SiD " You got that right "

When she gets to the ring she shows off the Belts, then exits the ring and sets them on a nearby table. Then "Full Nelson" by Limp Bizkit comes blaring across the PA as Steve the Heater and "Insane" Scotty Slam come strutting out. Scotty is wearing his Cable TV Belt over his shoulder while Steve holds his IC Belt above his head. The two enter the ring and hand their Belts to Jenna who sets them over with the Tag Team Belts. Next on the PA comes "Jizm On The Cross" as Pig Vomit and The Preacher Man, together known as Holy Shit come walking out. The crowd chants their name as the two reach the ring. Pig Vomit finishes off his bottle of whiskey and hurls it into the crowd. Him and "Insane Scotty Slam climb the ropes and take a place on ajacent parts of the apron signifing Preacher Man and Steve the Heater as the legal men in the ring. The bell rings.

Guy " Steve charges Preacher Man and scoop slams him!! He goes for a fist drop but the Preacher rolls clear.. "

SiD " I'm surprised Preacher Man's fit to fight after that crap he pulled last week "

Guy " Yeah.. Same here "

Rebel " What? What happened? "

Guy " Last week he flipped out and crucified himself.. Then tried to shoot himself in the head "

Rebel " Huh? Suicide's so weak "

Guy " Yeah but he also tried to kill Wil.. "

SiD " He's lost it completly "

Rebel " Oh.. That sucks "

Guy " Yup.. But anyway.. Preacher Man sidewalk slams Steve then goes over and tag Pig Vomit in.. Pig Vomit walks up to Steve who punches him in the face.. PV stumbles back a few steps but doesn't do anything but smile.. "

Preacher Man slips under the ring.

Guy " Steve keeps punching at Pig Vomit.. Forcing him back into the corner.. When Pig Vomit reaches the turnbuckle he lifts himself up by the ropes and gives Steve a vertical head scissors takedown!! He drops down on him and.. BITES HIS FACE!! He kicks him in the head as Scotty sneaks into the ring and double axe handles PV from behind!!

The ref rushes over and chases Scotty out of the ring.

Guy " Steve whips Pig Vomit into the ropes and starts bashing his head against them!! He walks over and tags Scotty in.. "

SiD " Where the hell's Preacher Man at? "

Guy " I don't know.. He disappeared under the ring a while ago and hasn't come back yet "

SiD " Hmmmm.. You don't think he offed himself under there do you? "

Guy " I hope not! "

Rebel " Maybe I ought to go check "

SiD " Yeah, you do that "

Rebel gets up from his seat and walks over to the ring as Scotty and Steve double team Pig Vomit. He pulls up the canvas apron and Preacher Man springs out, brandishing a hunting rifle. Rebel jumps back and Preacher Man circles the ring, aiming at Steve.

SiD " Oh my God! "

Guy " Preacher Man's got a gun! Normally we don't care about that, but he's not in his right mind "

Preacher Man fires off a round that clips Steve in the leg.

SiD " I'm getting out of here "

SiD starts to get up but Guy stops him.

Guy " Better not make any sudden movements.. Steve is nursing his leg.. Pig Vomit looks a bit surprised too.. Shit.. Looks like Preacher Man's aiming at Scotty now! "

He shoots at Scotty but Scotty evades the bullet.

Guy " Preacher Man just missed Scotty and is now reloading his rifle!! Scotty tackles him and tries to get the gun from him.. PM smashes him in the face with the butt of the gun!! He finishes reloading and levels the rifle at his face!! "

SiD " Will someone get security here already?! "

Pig Vomit slides out of the ring and puts his hand on Preacher Man's shoulder. He starts talking to him as WildKat comes out and down the ramp. Preacher Man almost allows Pig Vomit to take the gun away from him but then at the site of Kat, he shoots her in the stomach.

Guy " He just shot his wife!! Pig Vomit starts backing away from the Preacher.. Preacher Man then walks over to Jenna.. "

SiD " Oh no!! DON'T SHOOT JENNA!!! "

Guy " He's taking the Belts.. Not just the Tag ones either.. But Steve's IC and Scotty's Cable ones as well!! "

SiD " Right about now I don't think the two are going to put up much of an arguement "

Preacher Man throws all four Belts over his shoulder and starts aiming his rifle. First at Jenna, then Pig Vomit, followed by Scotty, Gary Coleman, Rebel, SiD and Guy, then back at Steve. He picks up a microphone that was sitting on the table the Belts were on.

Preacher Man " Ladies and gentlemen.. As you can see the cleansing has BEGUN! And beleive me.. It is FAR from over! Before Heaven can exist on Earth.. It first must be purged of it's sinners! Hallaluya! I have alot of work left brothers and sisters.. For I must pay pentense to the Lord for having turned my back on him.. By fulfulling his will as his humbled servant! A-Men! "

SiD " Where is security?! "

The Preacher Man then tosses the mic into the confused crowd and walks up the ramp and leaves.

Kid in the crowd " Fart! Hehe.. Pussy "

A differant kid in the crowd " Gimmie that! Pecker! Haha! Dildo! Shit hole! "

The mic cuts off. Paramedics finally arrive and strap the mortally wounded WildKat to a stretcher and whisk her away. A second crew rush into the ring to aid Steve, but he waves them aside. He does however allow a female paramedic to wrap his leg up with a bandage.

SiD " Is the show going to continue? I mean.. This fucked up! "

Guy " Well.. I guess so.. If it was going to I'm sure we would have heard from Spidey about it "

SiD " Assuming of course he was watching the show.. "

Guy " True.. But since we havn't heard any word either way.. The show will continue.. "

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Page Updated Mon Dec 17, 2001 2:52pm EST