Wednsday Night Havok 7-18-01 - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives2/7_18_01_Wednsday_Night

Guy " Alright everyone this is Guy Mandell and SiD Nasty coming to you LIVE from the Metroplex Arena in downtown Pittsburg, PA!! We have a pretty big show for you tonight and you not going to want to miss a second of it!! "

SiD " Yeah, you'll want to miss alot more than a second "

Guy " Must you?? "

SiD " We have nothing but crap on this show!! Kid Money's the only good wrestler on the bill "

Guy " What about the rumble?? "

SiD " What about it?? There's no one left in it.. They're all on vacation or dead "

Guy " Whatever

Crown Royal -vs- T-Money
Guy " The bell rings and Crown Royal immediatly snap suplexes T-money!! He gives him a leg-drop followed by a victory roll.. He pulls Money to his feet.. Money rakes CR's eyes!! Money with a right hook then an arm-breaker!!! He tries to slap on a figure four leg lock but Crown kicks him in the groin!!! "

As T-Money cups his balls Crown Royal slaps on a torture rack, the crowd cheers.

Guy " The fans seem to be behind Crown Royal for what is his first match?? "

SiD " Yeah, I think it is. I don't think they like him though as much as they don't like T-Money "

Guy " Maybe.. T-Money kicks Crown Royal then whips him into the turnbuckle.. He climbs on him and monkey flips CR center ring!! "

Pig Vomit, Rebel, Nightmare and Sharon come walking out to the ring. Pig Vomit's carrying a crowbar, Rebel a baseball bat, Nightmare a retractable police baton and Sharon a hammer. The four climb into the ring and Crown Royal and T-Money stop fighting.

SiD " Ummm.. "

Guy " The new X-Treme Inc. ladies and gentlemen "

X-Treme Inc. start attacking CR and T-Money. Rebel clocks T-Money acoss the back with his bat which sends him to the mat. Him and Nightmare start clubbing the crap out of him as Crown Royal attemps to flee the ring. Pig Vomit dropkicks him though then whacks him in the chest with his crowbar. Sharon joins in with her hammer.

SiD " Where's security?!? "

Guy " X-Treme Inc. continue their attack.. "

Three security guards come running down the ramp to the ring and X-Treme Inc. cease their assault. Security rushes them. Rebel nails the first guard in the head and Pig Vomit clocks the second one. The third one begins fumbling for his pepper spray but Nightmare busts him in the face before he can get it out.

SiD " Jesus!! "

Guy " X-Treme Inc.'s tossing security out of the ring!!!

SiD " Well the men are.. Sharon's just standing there looking sexy.. Sexy and 17 "

The three security guards leave and Pig Vomit walks over to the ref, who cowers. He takes his mic.

Pig Vomit " That's right everyone.. X-Treme Inc. is officially back.. And underNEW managment..

Nightmare yells in the mic " Yeah!! "

Pig Vomit " If you thought the old X-Treme Inc. was somethin.. "

Rebel says into the mic " Compaired to the NEW one.. it wasn't shit!! This was just a taste of things to come.. "

The four members of X-Treme Inc. exit the ring and head up the ramp. Rebel pauses then returns to the ring and drags the battered Crown Royal over to the semi-concoius T-Money and places him on top of him, then catches up to the others as they all exit the arena.

SiD " I guess that's legal??

Guy shrugs his shoulders, " Looks like the ref thinks so.. He's counting the pin "

Winner: Crown Royal
SiD " Kind of cheap if you ask me "

Guy " Well then it's a good thing no one did "

SiD " Piss off "

The cameras cut over to Spider-Man in his penthouse office, talking on the phone.

Spidey " Still no word from her huh? Man I'm so sick of this shit! Our champs always go MIA.. This is the second time Widow pulled this crap without even giving any notice!! "

As he paces back and forth Jamal walks out of the elevator with Black Widow.

Spidey " Yeah.. I know. " He scoffs, " Well speak of the devil.. I'll call you back "

He hangs up the phone and walks up to the two.

Spidey " You don't call.. You don't write.. I was starting to thnk you didn't love me anymore "

Black Widow " What are you talking about?? "

Spidey " You went MIA again.. Where've you been hiding? "

Black Widow " I have not been hidng. I have just been.. busy "

Spidey " Well whatever.. Weboth know you're the best wrestler this fed has ever seen but.. First off, I'm stripping you of your Titles "

Black Widow " Oh you are are you?? "

Spidey " Look.. We can't have you winning Belts then taking off.. Homie don't play dat "

Black Widow " I suppose "

Spidey " Look.. It ain't like I'm banning you or nothing.. It's just that if you want to maintain your championship, you gotta be active. Kabish?? "

Black Widow nods " Understandable "

Spidey " So what's it gonna be?? You gonna be more active?? "

Black Widow " We'll see.. "

Spidey " Wait.. What?? "

Black Widow " I said 'We'll see..'"

Spidey " Whatever "

Spidey walks away and the cameras return to SiD and Guy.

SiD " What a bitch "

Guy " Yeah, I guess when your so great a wrestler though it swells your ego "

SiD " Ego schmego.. Great or not she's still a bitch "

Guy " Yeah, well.. Our next match is starting

Kid Money -vs- Stalin
The cameras switch to the backstage area where Stalin and Bud Brody are eating the donuts laid out for the guests.

Bud " Yo man ain't you up next?? "

Stalin " Huh?? Oh shit!! I am!! "

Stalin rushes out the door and down the corridor towards the ring. The camera cuts back to the arena where Kid Money has just entered the ring.

SiD " Stalin needs to take his matches more seriously.. Fuckin commie "

Stalin's music hits the PA and he walks out the entryway. As he makes his way down the ramp to the ring he is suddenly shot in the chest with an arrow!

SiD " What the hell?? "

From above, two more arrows pierce Stalin's chest and he falls to the ground. As he lays there bleeding, another arrow cuts threw the air, buring itself into Stalin's skull.

SiD " Jesus!! Who's shooting him?? Can we get a camera up there?? "

The camera zooms up, displaying the rafters on the Titan-tron. As it continues to zoom in it shows The Hunter, fleeing across a catwalk and carrying a hunter's bow.

SiD " Hmmmm.. "

Guy " I guess that makes Kid money the winner then "

SiD " Well duh.. I'm just surprised that Hunter guy killed Stalin.. I mean don't get me wrong, the only good commie is a dead commie and all, but The Hunter's a newbie.. "

Guy " A newbie with a good aim "

SiD " Yeah.. But.. Oh nevermind "

Winner: Kid Money
Guy " Good, cause we have our final match about to start.. Goldust's 'Who Wants To Be An RMWF Champ' rumble "

SiD " What happened to the Titan and Pain match?? "

Guy " It was cancelled "

SiD " Oh. Why?? "

Guy " No one's heard from them at all "

SiD " Oh "

Guy " So now, the 'Who Wants To Be An RMWF Champ' rumble

SiD " Oh joy. Is Regis gonna be here?? "

Guy " Ummmm as a matter of fact.. "

Regis Philbin " Hello!! Boy is it great to be here tonight with you gentlemen!! "

SiD " Someone shoot me "

Regis " Now that's the spirit!! Are we ready to get this ball rollig or what!?! "

Guy " I guess we are!! "

Regis " Fabulous!! "

Main Event
Who Want's To Be An RMWF Champ?
The lights dim, then strobe-lights light up the arena as a techno remix of 'Pray' by MC Hammer hits the PA and the Preacher Man walks out.

SiD " I miss the old Preacher Man.. When he was still religous and would be occompainied to the ring by the three nuns in g-strings "

Guy " Yeah.. I agree.. The biker image is so passe` "

Regis " Yes!! "

SiD " Well this isn't going to be much of a rumble, considering like I said before.. ... Stalin just bought the farm, Kid Kraker was long since banned, Venom's on vacation or dead or living on the French Riviara as a transexual prostitute.. I can't remember who else was supposed to be in this not-quite-a-rumble rumble "

Guy " Me either "

Next The Crippler walks out, as he gets to the ring the lights dim again and gold glitter explodes about the entryway as Prez Goldust comes out to that 'In Just 7 Days I Can Make You A Man' song from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Regis " The man is naked!! And painted in gold!! Incredible!! "

SiD " I'm going to punch you "

Regis " Are you sure?? We could have cake instead!! "

Guy " .... "

Regis " There's the bell!! The Crippler and Preacher Man lock up!! Preacher knees Crippler in the nether regions!! The he does some fancy kind of body slam to him!! "

SiD " It's called a sidewalk slam "

Regis " So it is!! Goldust is just sitting there eating a handfull of jelly beans!! Where did he get them?! And where could I get some?! "

Guy " Preacher Man whips Crippler into the ropes.. He springs off them and ducks a clothesline from the Preacher.. Again off the ropes.. And He dropkicks PM!! "

Regis " Incredible!! "
.
SiD " Alright.. Who's the asshole with the laser pointer?? "

Guy chuckles

SiD " Cut the shit whoever's doing it.. "

Guy " You tell em "

Regis " A laser pointer!! That's nuts!! "

Guy " Preacher Man whips Crippler again.. This time right into Goldust!! Dust grabs Crippler and. He's licking him!!! "

SiD " Ewwww!!! "

Regis " Insane!! "

Guy " He slaps Crippler then hip tosses him out of the ring.. PM charges Goldust with a cross body block.. The Crippler retreives a baseball bat from under the ring and slides back in.. Preacher Man with a gorilla press to Goldust then takes a blow to the head from Crippler's bat!! "

Regis " Sa-wing batta!! "

Guy " Crippler is clubbing the crap out of Preacher Man while Goldust has returned to eating his jelly beans "

Regis " Again with the jelly beans!! "

Crippler stops his attack on the Preacher Man and pins him.

Guy " There's the cover!! 1..2..3 "

SiD " Goldust didn't even bother to try to break it up "

Guy " Very observant of you "

SiD " Bite it "

Regis " Yes!! "

Winner: The Crippler
Guy " Well The Cripplers won, which means whenever the other two groups find their champ.. He'll face them, for I don't remember what "

SiD " You're so well informed "

Guy " Which all means this is the endof this episode of Havok. We have a PPV copming up in just a few short days and.. "

Regis " It's gonna be awsome! "

SiD " No it won't "

Guy sighs "Alright, then on behalf of myself, SiD and Regis.. Goodnight "

The credits roll then the sene swithes to the next program.

RMWF

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Page Updated Mon Dec 17, 2001 2:52pm EST