Wednsday Night Havok 7-11-01 - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives2/7_11_01_Wednsday_Night

We see Spider-Man sitting in his penthouse office. Suddenly Neep comes marching out of the elevator.

Spidey " Jesus! Not you again! "

Neep " Aye the Neepster is here to offer you his services "

Spidey " How'd you get in?? Nevermind.. I don't care "

Neep " Happy to see me then are you?? "

Spidey " No. I'm not. I don't want your services either "

Neep " Aww c'mon, you know I can help you "

Spidey " No, you can't. I don't need your help. Even if I did, I wouldn't want it "

Neep " Don't worry.. I won't let you down!! "

Spidey " Am I talkng to myself here?? What part of 'I don't want your help' don't you get?? "

Neep " The fed NEEDS Neep's help though "

Spidey " No it doesn't!!! "

Neep " I led the old Corporate Stable before and I can lead the new one!! "

Spidey " There IS no Corporate Stable!! "

Neep " That's not what Wil says "

Spidey " He's not the Prez anymore "

Neep " But the Corporate Stable exists "

Spidey " Am I speaking chineese here??

Neep " I can speak chineese "

Spidey " Look, I'll give you fifty bucks right now if you just leave "

Neep " I'll help you for free!!! "

Spidey screams out in frustration.

Neep " You look tense "

Spidey starts laughing a whimpering laugh " MAKE IT STOP!!! "

Neep " Sure thing boss. What do you need Neep to do first?? "

Spider-Man falls out of his chair and starts banging his head against the floor.

Neep " Ummm.. Tell you what boss. I'll come back later. Okay?? "

Spidey starts chanting to himself repeatedly, " With great power comes great responsibility "

Neep " Ok, so I'll be back later boss. We can talk about the Feather Weight Belt then too "

Spider-Man screams then the cameras switche over to SiD and Guy.

Guy " Welcome everbody once again for yet another action packed episode of Havok!!! He with me as always is SiD "The King" Nasty. And we are comin to you LIVE from the Halls of Montazuma in downtown San Fransisco, CA!!! Tonight is going to be a Tag Team Blow-Out featuring four of this fed's current tag teams. The evening's matches will be done in more or less a tournament format.. The winners of the first two will face each other fo the Main Event.. THEN.. The winner of that will go on to face Holy Shit on this month's PPV for the Tag Title "

SiD " Why do they atomatically fight Holy Shit??? Holy Shit should be out here too "

Guy " Well Holy Shit were the last Tag Team Champs.. When the fed wet on hiatus they were forced to vacate the Title "

SiD " So?? "

Guy " Well.. They are also the only tag team ranked high enough to compete for the Belts.. Tonight's show will give the winning team 2 wins, which will give them the rankings to compete.. Unless the winner is Da Brozz tha is.. They are WAY down there on the rankings "

SiD " Sorry I asked "

Guy " Oh yeah, earlier we had a pre-show exibition match with Johny Electric and Sha-sha.. Guess who won?? "

SiD " Why do they even keep Sha-sha around?? He's pathetic "

Sha-sha appears behind SiD.

Sha-sha " I heard that!! Mwahaha "

Then he disappears.

SiD " His stupid b-movie vampire parlor tricks are past getting stale too "

Guy " I agree.. What can ya do though?? Anyway.. onto or first tag match "

Da Brozz -vs- Eric "The Crusher" Johnson & Hardhore Thug
That 'It's Raining Men' song comes on the PA and explosions of gold glitter erupt around the entryway, along the ramp and just all over the place. Test walks out the entryway and down the ramp, sprinkling rose petals behind him as Goldust who is wearing nothing but a cape of white feathers follows along the bed of roses. The two climb into the ring and Test starts massaging Goldust's shoulders as The Prez pulls a mic from his butt and begins to talk.

Goldust " Who's yo daddy? "

The crowd fails to respond.

Goldust " I SAID.. WHO'S YO DADDY?!? "

This time the crowd answers back his name. Satisfied, The Prez puts the mic back up his ass an waits for his opponents to arrive.

SiD " Do I even need to comment on that?? "

Guy " It's never stopped you before "

SiD " And to think, at one time this used to be a family show "

Guy " I don't know hat knd of family you're refering to SiD.. Havok has ALWAYS been a showcase for brutality and all things indecent "

SiD " Maybe "

Guy rolls his eyes.

SiD " Where te hell is Eric "The Crusher" Johnson and Harcore Thug at? "

Guy " I don't know.. I hope they show up soon though.. It looks like Test's massage is making Goldust horny "

SiD " How do you if it's.. Oh "

Goldust is getting an erection.

SiD " Well this is just getting nasty.. Will someone call Johnson & Thug a no-show and get Da Brozz out of here?? "

Goldust gets down on all fours and begins barking like a dog as Test spanks his butt. The ref walks over and raises Test's hand, declaring them the winners by default. Disppointed, Da Brozz end their disgusting homosexual display and leave the ring.

Winner: Da Brozz
SiD " Thank God "

Guy " Yeah. They won by default though. That means they'll be back later to face our next match's winner "

SiD " Sonuvabitch "

Guy " Yup. Seeing as that's the second match tonight that didn't happen though, lets move onto our next one and hope that it will "

The Crippler & The Beast
-vs-
Garrison Kane & Tommy "The Butcher" Marconi
The crowd boos as The Crippler and The Beast walk out of the entryway and down to the ring.

SiD " Will what?? "

Guy " Will happen "

SiD " Oh "

Garrison Kane and Tommy Marconi walk out and to the ring. Tommy and The Beast take their places on the apron, marking their partners the legal men in. The bell rings and the two wrestlers lock up.

Guy " The Crippler with a neckbreaker to Garrison.. He stomps at him but Garrison grabs his foot and shoves him away!! Garrison hits the Crippler with a right hook then with a short armed clothesline!!! He slapps a figure four leglock on his opponent.. And here comes the Beast with a double fist drop that breaks the hold!!!! "

The ref rushes over to yell at The Beast who then slas Crippler's hand, tagging himself in. Crippler hoists Garrison up for a vertical drop as Beast climbs the turnbuckles.

Guy " Crippler with a vertical drop followed by a bionic elbow from Beast!!! "

Crippler goes to the apron.

Guy " Beast pulls Garrison to his feet then sidewalk slams him!!! "

Tommy runs in but the ref stops him and tells him to go back to his corner.

SiD " Beast is choking Garrison!!! "

Guy " He releases Garrison though before the ref's attention returns to them.. Beast whips Garrison into the ropes.. Garrison coming back slides between Beast's legs and reverse Nelson suplexes him!!! "

The ref starts the count out.

SiD " 1..2.. "

The Crippler rushes in the ring to break the pin but Beast kicks out.

Guy " ..And a kick out.. The Beast gets back to his feet and gives Garrison Kane an uppercut.. Kane stmubles back a couple of steps.. Beast throws another punch but Garrison blocks it then rakes Beast's eyes "

SiD " Hey that's a girly move!!! "

Guy " Garrison with a sidewalk slam!!! Followed by an elbow drop.. He applies a stump puller but The Crippler jumps over the ropes and breaks the move with a kick!!! "

The ref chases Crippler out of the ring and bac to his corner as Garrison ane walks over and tags his partner in.

Guy " There's the tag.. Garrison lifts Beast up above his head.. And piledrives him!!! Tommy scoops him up and then powerbombs him!!! There's the cover!! "

As Tommy Marconi pins The Beast, The Crippler runs in to try to stop it but Garrison Kane charges him with a shoulder block.

SiD " There's the 3 cunt.. Count "

Winner: Garrison Kane & Tommy "The Butcher" Marconi
Garrison walks over to Tommy and the ref raises their hands in victory. The Beast finally recovers and gets up. The Crippler start yelling at their conquerors.

SiD " Oh just leave already "

Guy " The Crippler just drop kicked Garrison!!! Tommy punches Crippler in the back of the head then tiger suplexes him!!! "

SiD " I guess The Beast's to exhausted to jump in the frey "

As the three man fight continues, the cameras cut over to the outside of Commisoer Tone Capone's office where T-money is kneeled in front of the door, writing on it with a magic marker. A security guard comes walking up the hallway.

Security Guard " Hey you!! What are you doing?! "

The startled T-Money takes off, running down the hallway. The camera passes the door and shows where he had written 'You suck'. The guard kocks on the door. After no response, he walks up the hallway to the elevator and enters it. He rides it up to the penthouse, Spider-Man's office. He steps out into the office where Spidey is seated in his leather hover chair and Neep is standing before him. If you could see behind Spidey's mask you would see the face of a very desprately annoyed man.

Neep " So now that I'm back on the pay roll I think I'll make a light weight Belt!!! "

Spidey " No you won't "

Neep " But we need one!!! "

Spdey " Can I help you?? "

Neep " I Can help you!! "

Spidey " I'm not talking to you "

Security Guard " I caught that new guy, T-Money vandalizing the Commisioner's office door "

Spidey " So why are you telling me this?? "

Security Guard " I just figured you'd want to know "

Spidey " Why would I care?? Go tell a janitor to clean it up or something "

Security Guard " Oh, ok "

The Security Guard goes back to the elevator and leaves.

Neep " So how about that Light Weight Belt, Boss?? "

Spidey " No "

Neep " But why?! "

Spidey " Ummm.. Cause all the RMWF's wrestlers are at least 250 pounds "

Neep " Not Fraser Newlands "

Spidey " Neep.. There won't be a Light Weight Belt "

Neep " Cruiser Weight!!! "

Spidey " No "

Neep " I blew up Kid Money's Viper last Wednsday!!! "

Spidey " That was you?? "

Neep " Yes!!! Can I do a Cruiser Weight Belt now?? "

Spidey " No "

As nothing short of pointlessness and the uninteresting is occuring, the camera returns to SiD and Guy.

Main Event
Da Brozz
-vs-
Garrison Kane & Tommy "The Butcher" Marconi
'Do Me' by Bell Biv Devoe hits the PA as Test and Goldut return to the ring.

SiD " Differant music.. Hopefully they'll have change their nasty fag antics too "

Guy " You're hoping for to much "

SiD " If they win... "

SiD shudders.

SiD " Da Brozz verse Holy Shit.. I'm going to take that day off "

Guy " Hmmm.. In that case I almost hope they do win "

SiD " 'In that case I almost hope they dooo win'.. Retard "

Guy rolls his eyes and the bell rings. Test and Tommy Marconi are the legal men in the ring.

Guy " They lock up. Test knees Tommy in the groin then headbutts him.. He throws a right hook but Tommy blocks it and twists his arm behind him for a hammerlock!!! He whips Test into the turnbuckle where Garrison grabs Test's arms allowing Tommy to beat the crap out of him without resistance!!! "

SiD " Goldust is filing his nails!!! "

Guy " The ref tells Garrison to release Test.. He does.. Tommy tags him in and they set Test up on the turnbuckles.. Tommy climbs thm to and gets behind Test.. And he powerbombs him into Garrison's knee!!! "

SiD " Damn.. If that don't spell pain, I don't know what does "

Guy " Tommy climbs out of the ring while Garrison pulls Test to his feet.. He triplle side belly suplexes him!!! Now a Boston Crab!!! Test isn't fairing to well out there tonight folks.. Especially since his partner doesn't seem to interested in helping him "

SiD " Well what do you expect?? Goldust is Goldust "

Guy " Garrison is working the crowd as Test crawls over to Goldust reaching out for the tag.. Goldust is blatently ignoring him though!! Garrison walks over to him and drags him back to the center of the ring.. He tags Tommy in. They pull Test up and are off the ropes... From opposite sides they clothesline him!!! "

SiD " Damn. I've never seen that kind of move before.. Looks like it could've crushed Test's trachea "

Test lays there, face bright red as Garrison leaves the ring. Tommy goes for the pin.

Guy " There's the cover.. 1.. 2.. 3. Well that's all she wrote folks. We have are Tag Title Finalists "

Winner: Garrison Kane & Tommy "The Butcher" Marconi
SiD " Which may even be a good match.. Those guys ain't to shabby "

Guy " Yup.. BUT.. This concludes this episode of Havok.. Be sure to check that PPV for the conclusion of this Tag thing.. "

SiD " 'Tag thing'.. So articulate "

Guy " Yeah well.. "

SiD " Oh just wrap it up already!! I wanna make the next showing for Final Fantasy "

Guy " I am.. Sheesh!! Alright ladies and gentlemen with nothing else left to be said, on behalf of SiD and myself, I bid you a Good Night "

As the credits roll the camera switches back to the penthouse office of Spider-Man where he is still talking to Neep.

Neep " Well all I have left to say is that it's great to be back!!! "

Spidey " LOOK.. For the LAST time.. YOU ARE NOT BACK ON THE STAFF "

Neep " You won't regret this "

Spider-Man grabs Neep by his shirt and throws him across the room.

Spidey " You are not on the staff. You are not on the staff. And, you are not on the staff. Do I make myself clear?? "

Neep " What's gotten into you bosS?? "

Spidey " I AM NOT YOUR BOSS!!! YOU DO NOT WORK FOR ME!! GOT IT?!

Neep " Oh, yeah.. "

Neep winks at Spider-Man.

Neep " 'I don't work you'.. I got ya now "

Spider-Man picks up a table and throws it at Neep as the cameras fades out.

RMWF

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Page Updated Mon Dec 17, 2001 2:52pm EST