Saturday Night Special 6-9-01 - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives2/6_9_01_Saturday_Night

The show begins as the cameras pan across an arena filled with thousands of screaming fans before settling upon the two men seated at the announcer's table.

Guy " Well good evening everyone and welcome to this, the RMWF's newest show, Saturday Night Special.. "

SiD " I hope it's named after the cheap gun & not the 70s white trash rock & roll band "

Guy " This is the RMWF SiD.. What do you think?? "

SiD " The gun??? "

Guy " Good boy.. Judging from tonight's line-up this show should be 'Special' indeed, it has the makings to be yet another great RMWF show.. I am Guy Mandell by the way.. And here with me is SiD "The King" Nasty.. We're coming to you LIVE from the Henry Lee Lucas Memorial Ampitheater in the once beautiful Long Branch, New Jersey. "

SiD " I can't believe we're doing a show in such a shit hole of a town.. Or that they named this place after Henry Lee Lucas "

Guy " Well SiD times are changing "

SiD " Huh??? What the hell does that have to do with anything?? "

Guy " Tonight we get to bear witness to the return of myself.. From my month long vacation in the Bahamas.. Oh yeah!!! "

SiD " You're acting a little too enthusiast Guy... What'd they do to you down there??? "

Guy " It's not what they DID.. It's what they DIDN'T do.. "

SiD " Whatever.. I don't even wanna know "

Guy " Oh it was great!!! I learned all about how to control my mind and body as well as.. "

SiD " I said 'I DON'T WANNA KNOW'.. You went on a fuckin hippy retreat.. You make me sick "

Guy " You should go some time "

SiD " No.. I shouldn't.. And now that the fed's back again I won't have the time to go anywhere anyway so let's just get this show rolling so I can go home and go to bed "

Guy " Good idea.. Our first match of the night features newcomer Nico and.. "

SiD " Blah blah blah.. Today man!!! Today!!! "

Guy " Fine.. "

Hardcore Match

Tone Capone -vs- Nico
The lights dim as strobe lights erupt and Nico comes out of the doorway on a skateboard and skates down the catwalk. When he hits the bottom he catches some air and pulls a 360 Air Christ then lands in a handplant on the ring's apron for five seconds before kicking his board over to the announcer's table and sliding into the ring.

SiD " What the hell was that shit??? This is a wrestling ring not a skate park!!! "

Guy " Obviously "

SiD " So then.. Oh forget it "

Guy " There's the bell and Nico immediatly charges at Tone and nais him with a short arm clothesline!!! Tone leaps back to his feet and rebounds with an Italian uppercut that knocks Nico back a few steps "

SiD " What kind of name is Nico for a guy anyway??? It ain't very masculin "

Guy " Maybe it's foreign "

SiD " I doubt that.. I knew a Nico once.. She was a prostitute "

Guy " Your point being??? "

SiD " No point really.. I just enjoy hearing myself talk "

Guy " That makes one of us "

SiD " Too bad they didn't teach you better wit at that Spiritual whatever in the Bahamas "

Guy " You know.. I'm begining to share your hope that the fed hadn't re-opened "

SiD " Oh just do your job already "

Guy " You gonna let me??? "

SiD " Sure "

Guy " Well fine then.. Capone just side-belly suplexed Nico and is now stomping the kid.. Nico slides out of the way of the attack and out of the ring though.. And is headed our way "

SiD sighs " Why do they always wanna come over and bother us??? "

Guy " Here comes Tone chasing after him.. Ahhh.. Nico just came to retreave his board and not a second too late as he turns to face the oncoming Tone Capone and cracks him in the head with it!!!! That sho drew blood and Tone's staggering backward.. Nico continues the assault with a choke slam to the self-proclaimed gangster!!!! He lifts the Italian up and piledrives him into the concrete floor!!!! Damn "

SiD " Tone's getting hs ass beat out there.. Did that blow knock him out??? "

Guy " No.. He's still moving.. Nico grabs him by the shirt and drags him back to the ring and throws him over the apron.. Now He's climbing the turnbuckle as the fans start to cheer him "

SiD " Now that doesn't happen that often here "

Guy " What doesn't? "

SiD " The fans getting behind a newcomer like that "

Guy " True.. Maybe it's the whole skater thing.. Maybe the kids in the crowd can relate or something "

SiD " Maybe.. Who really cares though "

Guy " Well Nico after a big splash has Tone pinned.. 1..2.. *POP* Nico rolls off of him!!!! "

SiD " What the hell??? "

Guy " Look.. Nico's bleeding!!! I think Tone shot him!!! "

SiD " Man I can remember a day when guns weren't part of wrestling "

Guy " You hae a ood memory then.. Nico's laying on the mat clenching his bloody gut as Capone slips his pistol in his bott and gives him an elbow drop!!!! He sits on hm for the cover!!! "

SiD " Now that's just rude and arrogant "

Guy " YOU'RE accusing someone of being arrogant??? "

SiD " Did I stutter??? No I don't think I did "

Guy " Whatever.. Look's like we have a winner "

Winner: Tone Capone
SiD " They still allow wrestlers to win by shooting their opponent.. Don't even notice in fact.. You can tell Spidey's in charge "

Guy " Yeah.. It's good for ratings though "

SiD " Maybe but now Goldust's the Prez who kno.. "

Guy " What??? Goldust is the Prez?!?! "

SiD " Yeah didn't you know??? Spidey promoted him "

Guy " When did this happen??? "

SiD " The other day "

Guy " That's insane.. I don't think Spider-Man is aware of what he's done.. Was he drunk??? "

SiD " I don't know.. He already starting trouble though by forcing wrestlers to team up and omething else.. I forgot "

Guy " Yeah.. That sounds like Goldust alright.. Damn.. This fed is going to be pure chaos "

SiD " Yup "

Guy " Well.. Our next match is about to start.. So.. Goldust the Prez.. Damn "

Eric "The Crusher" Johnson -vs- Harley Quinn
Eric "The Crusher" Johnson's music plays over the PA system as he strides out the doorway and down the ramp to the ring. His music then is replaced by an eiree yet festive circus theme as the spotlights zoom uo the walkway to Harley Quinn who is standing at the top of the catwalk in a classic pin-up girl pose. She catwheels down the ramp then flamboyantly bows to the silent crowd before sliding into the ring.

SiD " Hell.. I knew the RMWF was a circus but come on now.. A clown??? That's just too damn much "

Guy " A mime "

SiD " Huh?? "

Guy " She's actually more of a mime than a clown "

SiD " Well at least the Bahamas didn't completly change you.. You're still pompous "

Guy " 'The Crusher' doesn't seem to know what to make of his opponent.. As she is just skipping around the ring "

SiD " Freak "

Guy " She prances up to him and curtsies before him.. She gives him a big kiss then a right hook!!!! That seemed to put things in perspective for Johnson.. He snapmares her then gives her a victory roll.. She springs to her feet and kicks him in the face.. Almost.. He grabs her foot, spins her around and gives her a spinning neckbreaker!!!! "

SiD " Hey!!! Eric's been practicing!!! He was never that good "

Guy " Harley sommersaults backward then slips out of the ring.. She pokes her head nder the ring as the ref begins counting her out.. "

SiD " Is the Ring Midget still around??? "

Guy " Beats me "

SiD " Well regardless Eric Johnson is just standing there and the ref just made the 4 count "

Guy " Looks like Harley found what she was ooking for under there.. A baseball bat "

SiD " Does that mean the Ring Midget is back??? "

Guy " I don't know.. I didn't see him.. Oh.. For those of you that are new to the RMWF.. See the Ring Midget lives under our wrestling rings and supplies wrestlers with steel chairs, bats, chains, etc.. We haven't really see him though since November.. But anyway Harley slides bac into the ring at the 7 count and swings the bat at Johnson who jumps back, barely avoiding contact.. She charges at him and bashes him upside the head with it!!!! Knocking him to the mat "

SiD " Alotta head wounds tonight.. Well.. Two but.. That's more than usual "

Guy " Well Spider-Man DOES have a rep for putting on excessively violent shows.. Which he's been proving again since having taken over the fed entirely "

SiD " You know the Prez sold the fed to him for crack right??? "

Guy " Yeah I heard about that.. Maybe it's for the best though "

SiD " What is??? Spidey running the fed or the Prez smoking crack??? "

Guy " Spidey running the fed.. Crack is bad news "

SiD " Speaking from experience??? "

Guy " No "

SiD snickers " Hey look.. Harley's chasing 'The Crusher' around the ring with that damn bat!!! Haha!!! I can almost hear the Benny Hill theme playing "

Guy " Harley takes another swing at Johnson who ducks and.. I don't know how she did it.. But she hit herself with the bat "

SiD " Haha!!! "

Guy " I think she knocked herself out.. Here comes the ref to check her vitals.. Eric Johnson watches on as He raises her arm and lets it fall back to the mat.. again he does it too the same effech.. A third time and.. She grabs the ref and gives him a big sloppy kiss!!!! "

SiD " Man that girl's gonna get mono if she doesn't watch out "

Guy " The ref's wiping off his mouth and Eric snap-suplexes Harley.. There's the cover as he grabs her with a Boston crab!!!! Harley squirms to get loose as the ref begins he count.. 1.. Kick out.. She rolls away then leaps back up.. She stomps Eric's foot!!! He's hopping around on his other foot as Harley Quinn slides out of the ring and marches up the catwalk!!!! "

SiD " What the... ??? What the hell is she doing??? "

Guy " I'm not sure but the ref is counting her out "

SiD " Eric looks as confused as us.. Then again though he always looks confused "

Guy " The ref reaches the 8 count "

The Titan-Tron lights up and Harley Quinn's image stands on it.

Harley Quinn " Nuts to you Eric "The Crusher" whatever!!! I'm through with you.. You're no fun.. You can take this stinking win and stick it where the sun don't shine buddy!!! "

The video cuts off and the ref raises Eric Johnson's arm.

Winner by DQ: Eric "The Crusher" Johnson
SiD " That girl is a weirdo "

Guy " ..Who has been disqualified "

SiD " Where does the fed find these nut jobs??? "

Guy " I guess all the pyschos are just drawn to us "

SiD " You got that right "

Guy " Well I see Gary Coleman's coming out.. That means it's time for our Main Event "

SiD " Oh goody.. I can't wait "

Guy " You know.. You really need to work on that sarcasm SiD.. Those who don't know you would probably think you were being sincere "

SiD grumbles " Oh let's just get the next match started and done with already "

Triple Threat Main Event

The Vine -vs- Rebel -vs- Scarface
Gary Coleman " Alright ladies and gentlemen this next match is a Triple Threat match which means there's three wrestlers competing and the first to get a pin wins "

SiD " Duh..Who doesn't know that??? "

Guy " Shhhh!!! "

Gary " Thank-you Guy.. We're running out of time here so I'll make the introductions breif.. We have.. REBEL.. SCARFACE.. and THE VINE!!!!

The lights abruptly shut off and the image of Rebel's name being spray painted on a brick wall comes on the Titan-Tron. The brick wall explodes and the crowd goes wild as ____ fills the theater as out walks Rebel. As he reaches the ring his music fades and Scarface comes out and headsdown to the ring. The two stand here eyeing each other up as Gary Coleman hops out of the ring and 'Thong Song' hits the PA. Green explosions flare along the catwalk, and when their smoke clears The Vine stands before the doorway. He runs down to the ring as his fans cheer his name. As soon as he slides in the bell rings.

SiD " Hey.. The Vine shaved his head.. He doesn't look like a long haired faggot anymore "

Guy " You should try calling him a faggot to his face "

SiD " Oh shut up "

Guy " There is the bell and The Vine dashes toward Rebel but Scarface beats him to him and Gangland suplexes Rebel!!!! The Vine switches targets then slams into Capone with a charging elbow that knocks him on top of Rebel!!!! Scarface takes advantage of his possition and puts a bow & arrow on him!!!! Which is cut short when the Vine saults off the top ropes with another elbow attack!!!! "

SiD " What's with the elbows??? "

Guy " Rebel rises to his feet and snapmares The Vine.. Then is backdropped by Scarface!!! Scarface starts stomping The Vine as Rebel slides out of the ring "

SiD " Now what is he doing??? "

Guy " Looks like he's gonna.. Yep.. Looks like he's getting something from under the ring.. What's it gonna be this time??? "

SiD " A crowbar!!! Damn.. He ain't fucking around!!! "

Guy " Scarface has The Vine in the corner and is stomping the crapout of him as Rebel creeps back into the ring and up behind him and cracks him across the shoulder blades!!! "

SiD " Damn!! I heard that crack from here "

Sha-sha appears behind SiD, " Did someone say 'crack'??? "

SiD " What??? Not you again "

Guy " Huh??? "

SiD " Oh.. He's gone now "

Guy " Who??? "

SiD " Sha-sha.. You know.. Blackula "

Guy " Oh.. I missed that "

SiD " Damn!!! Look out there!!! Rebel is going to town on Scarface with that crowbar.. The whole corner of he ring is covered in blood "

Guy " Yeah.. Scarface is drenched in blood too.. He's still concious though.. Actually, he barely even looks fazed.. The Vine stops Rebel's clubbing of Capone with a sleeper then Scarface punches Rebel in the stomach full force!!! Rebel falls to the ground and Capone throws a right hook at The Vine but he bocks it then replies with an elbow jab that looks like it may have split Scarface's nose!!! Chalk up another Scar to his Face "

SiD " Hmmm.. I'll be right back "

SiD gets up and walks over to the ring andbegins talking with the ref and pointing at the Vine.

Guy " Not sure what that's all about but as Rebel get almost back on his feet Capone kicks him in the ribs and sends him back down in time to himself be knocked down by a short-armed clothesline from The Vine.. What's this??? The ref pulls The Vine aside and is talkin to him.. Oh my.. The ref tugged on The Vine's elbow pad and a metal plate fell out!!! "

SiD returns to the announcer's table and sits back down.

SiD " See, I knew something just wasn't right "

Guy " Very observant.. Unfortunate however for The Vine because the ref is disqualifying him "

SiD " I don't get why he felt he had to cheat.. I mean had he been blatant and just worn a metal elbow pad instead f trying to be sneaky he'd still be in the fight "

Guy " Who knows what goes on in the heads of our wrestlers "

SiD " That's something I don't want to know either "

Guy " Well the match is now become a standard singles one.. Scarface looking a little more worse for wear than Rebel though.. He's still in the frey though and knees Rebel in the face which staggers him backward.. Capone whips Rebel into the ropes then powerslams him on his return!!!! He goes for a figure four but it ain't happening cause Rebel kicks him off of him before the move is finished.. The two begin circling one another.. They lock up "

SiD yawns.

Guy " Past your bedtime SiD "

SiD " As a matter of fact yes, it is.. And this match isn't keeping my interest anymore "

Guy " Well whatever.. Rebel headbutts Scarface's already busted up nose!!!! The Italian lets go reflexively and cluthes his nose giving rebl the opportunity to jackhammer the Italian to the mat!!! "

SiD " Looks like Rebel's going after that crowbar again "

Guy " Here comes Tone Capone running out to the ring!!!! "

SiD " Typical "

Guy " He slides in and dropkicks Rebel!!!! Which causs him to drop his weapon.. Scarface pulls Rebel back to his feet and whips him into the ropes.. He springs back and the Capone boys double clothesline him!!!! "

SiD " Where's the ref at??? Oh okay, here he comes to yell at them "

Guy " Oh my God!!! Scarface just grabbed the ref and lifts him over his head!!! The ref is pleading with Scarface to put him back down.. Which he does.. Via a sidewalk slam!!!! "

SiD " Man these guys just don't give a fuck do they??? "

Guy " I guess not.. Cause that obviously just cost him the match "

Winner and IC Champ: Rebel
SiD " Well duh.. Well the two of hem are just beating the crap out of Rebel now.. Who's going to put an end to this?? "

Guy " I don't know.. We're out of time though.. So it looks like it's going to be Rebel and Kid Money next Wednsday fighting for the World Title.. So be sure to tune in to that one folks.. On behalf of SiD and myself I wish you all a.. "

SiD " You mean we're going to end the show with Rebel still getting beat down??? "

Guy " We have no choice "

SiD " Damn.. That' messed up "

Guy " Well anyway.. Goodnight folks "

RMWF

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Page Updated Mon Dec 17, 2001 2:52pm EST