Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives2/3rd_Slammy

If you are reading this you should know that the awards show was never finished do to The RMWF closing for a short period of time. I know I have a list of the winners somewhere and will probably post the winners some day but for now this is all that is of The Third Tri-Annual Slammy's!!

( Hell Florida : About five hundred folding chairs surrond an outside stage . They are filled with celbrities , RMWF Staff and RMWF Talent all waiting for the show to begin . Two red curtains pull back as fire wroks explode and The RMWF dancers make there way out onto the stage .. A cheesy dance routine pursues creating an appropiate awards show atmosphere followed by the entrance of Chris Rock ! )

Rock " Weeeell GOD DAMN ! When I took this job I did not know I was not gonna get paid . Then , I say theeeen your cheap Prez wanted me to pay for my own tux . I tried to back my black ass out of this deal but then three armed men showed up to my door and kidnapped me . "

( Crowd laughs )

Rock , No , I am serious ! I'm being held hostage somebody help my black ass !

( More laughter )

Rock " Well screw me . Welcome to The Third Tri-Annual Slammy Awards ! Brought to you by Nutro Pain Weight Gainer and Maxwell House Coffee . Tonight we celebrtate the best in The RMWF in 12 categories from best to worse wrestler . The voting has taken place through the months of April and May . All the votes we're submitted by The Staff , Wrestlers and YOU the Fans ! So no more delays as its a great honor to introduce Freddy Prince Jr . and Carmen Electra presenting the first award . "

( Freddy Prince comes out in a tux and Carmen in a skimpy gown . The audience applauds as someone coffs out ' Slut ' as the crowd laughs )

Freddie Prince ( Reading from Tele-Promter ) " It is such an honor to be here at The RMWF Slammy Awards . The first award of the night is given to that one man or women who could not seem to find his way through the fed at the start of there career . BUT when we all thought it could not get any worse it actually got better ! The Most Improved Wrestler Award goes to that soul person who picked themselves up out of the filth and wiped themselves clean . Who said ' I WILL NOT SIT IN THE BOWELS OF THIS FED AND FUTHER MORE I WILL NOT QUIT ! I will work even harder to become the person I DESTINE TO BE ! ' So here are the nominee's . "

Carmen Electra ( Not reading from Tele-Promter ) " They did not put much work into that speech , did they ? "

( A loud a voice booms over the crowd from the sky . It is that mysterious announcers voice at all award shows )

Voice " NO , THEY DID NOT !!! NOW TO THE NOMINEE'S .

JIMI POP ---- FRASER NEWLANDS ---- AXX --- AND THE KLAW # ? . "

( Just then The Klaw IV's head explodes from all the excitement and we move on to The Klaw # 5 . Freddie rips open the envelope . )

Freddie " THE MOST IMPROVED WRESTLER IS , FRASER NEWLANDS !!! Wait it also says here : ' Hey , pick up your award back stage . No one wants to hear your stupid victory speech . Signed , The Prez ' "

( The camera pans to Fraser , who crumbles up a piece of paper and tosses it away )

Chris Rock " Well that was exciting . Wrestlers , how stupid are they ? "

( crowd is silent )

Rock " Was that suppose to be my big joke ? Who writes this crap ?"

( The camera switches to a room full of 1 thousand monkeys at 1 thousand typewriters . When they see the camera they go into a frenzy and one tosses poop at the camera ... )

Rock " I guess they won't be putting out any novel any time soon . Now to the next award ...

That was just proof that I am out of ideas ... Bad just bad I tell you .

( Out walks David Hasselhoff and Tony Hawk ... )

David " Well it is a great honor to be here presenting the best new wrestler award . It is better then the peep hole I had in Pamela Anderson's dressing room .

( score one for the monkeys )

Tony " This award goes to the wrestler who in the few short weeks they have been here made has made an impression on The RMWF . It is a hard thing to do to breaking into this fed and so many have tried ... "

David " Yes , Tony and so many have failed . To grab the attention of the established talent here plus the staff takes a lot of hard work and dedication and now on to the nominees .

( That voice again .. )

Voice " THE NOMINEES FOR BEST NEW WRESTLER :

BUFFY SUMMERS
SPARTEN
LIGHTNING
JIMI POP
AXX
DEADMAN
JUSTINESANE
BODYGUARD
ERIC JOHNSON

Tnoy Hawk " And the winner of Best New Wrestler goes too , Buffy Summers ! "

RMWF

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Page Updated Mon Dec 17, 2001 2:52pm EST