Monday Night Mayhem 11-19-01 - Presented by Yammer - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives2/11_19_01_Monday_Night

Guy: Ladies and gentlemen, I’m Guy Mandel along side Sid “the King” Nasty! Welcome to Monday Night Mayhem! What a card do we have here for you tonight! The U.S title is on the line inside a triple cage match!

Sid: And Cletus Clampett defends his win from last week in the Monday Night Showdown!

Guy: A newcomer is once again given the chance to prove himself in that match. Sid, do you know anything about this Golden Eagle?

Sid: Not a thing.

* “Voodoo Child” by Jimi Hendrix hit’s the pa and pyro rocks the stage.

Guy: Here we go again! Yammer is making his way out to the ring!

* Yammer comes to the ring, mic in hand and his black suit on his muscular frame

Yammer: Welcome to Mayhem!

*The crowd lose their mind*

Yammer: Now, we have a helluva show for the fans here in Portland, Oregon!

*crowd cheer at the mention of their town.

Yammer: I have the privilege to give you a match like none other ever seen on t.v. You have to see it to believe it! But let’s get the show on the road.

Mo My Lon & Ty My Shoe -vs- The Crippler & BoneCrusher
"Number 1" by Nelly, hit’s the p.a and the crowd goes crazy! The Crippler and Bonecrusher walk out to streams of pyro!

A drum sounds and Ty My Sho and mo My Lon walk out to a deafening courus of boos.

Guy: There’s the bell and we’re under way! Crusher looks at Crippler and nods his head. Crippler is going to start the match with Ty. But wait a second! Colossus is coming to the ring! Bonecrusher is leaving the apron to stop Colossus. Crippler looks to be distracted by the big man too as is the ref. Mo just handed Ty a chair.

Sid: That is always the great equalizer!

Guy: Ty nails Crippler and throws the chair out of the ring! The ref turns around and starts to count 1---2---Colossus grabs the ref before three!

Sid: I think that Colossus has a problem with the officiating.

Guy: That’s what it seems. Bonecrusher is looking at Colossus with confusion.

Sid: He looks a little stupid right now

Guy: Crippler is up and Ty is starting to throw some flashy kicks at Crippler who blocks them all and clotheslines Ty. Mo is on the top rope and jumps off and dropkicks Crippler. Crusher is in the ring now and so is Colossus! They both grab Mo and double choke slam him!

Sid: Oh, that’s gotta hurt!

Guy: I bet it would! What is Colossus doing? Mo and Ty are part of the Alliance!

Sid: Maybe he is showing that he doesn’t want to be their teammates anymore

Guy: But why? Colossus rolls out of the ring and tosses the ref in like a rag doll. Crippler has Ty in the Crossface! Crusher is hammering on Mo. Ty taps! Ty taps! Crippler and Crusher win with the help of Colossus!

Colossus offers a handshake to Crippler and Crusher and they accept!

Winner: Crippler & BoneCrusher
Guy: I think we have a new team here! Wait a second! Colossus is giving them Alliance t-shirts! Ty and Mo are no longer Alliance!

Cut to commercial

Sid: Welcome back to Mayhem! This is time for the Monday Night Showdown. And this week, Cletus defends his crown against 2 other wrestlers.

Guy: That’s right, Sid. Tonight’s competitors are Cletus Clampett, Darknight, and newcomer, Golden Eagle.

Cletus Clampet -vs- Darknight -vs- Golden Eagle
Triple Threat Match
“I wanna here you squeal like a pig!” Duelling banjos, hit’s the p.a system and pyro goes off on the sides of the entrance. Cletus Clampett makes his way to the ring, but not before arguing with some of the City folk first.

The next one out is Darknight. Not having any music Darknight enters the ring and the crowd boo him quite loudly.

Sid: This guy is has no personality! I think that Cletus and Golden Eagle are going to just face each other.

Guy: Why? Because he just looks like a jobber?

Sid: I think it has to do with his outfit. I mean how lame is an orange jumpsuit?

Guy: *laughing quietly* Quite a bit. Now he comes the Golden Eagle.

“Alive” by POD hit’s the speakers and the fans just sit still.

Sid: I think the crowd has already voiced their opinions about Mr. Eagle

Guy: Yep, and now all three grapplers are in the ring. Hopefully, Cletus has more competition this week. The bell sounds and the three men circle the ring. None making any movement to each other.

Sid: What is this? A ballet?

Guy: Darkstalka isn’t on the card.

Sid: Oh, Who’s mister smartass now?

Guy: I can say what I want. Night tried to jump Cletus from behind and Eagle spears him! Eagle and Cletus working as a team now. Cletus sets up Night on his shoulders and the Golden Eagle climbs the ropes. Eagle with a clothesline off the top rope! Cletus rolls Darknight out of the ring and turns his attention to Golden Eagle, who is standing on the top rope again. Hurricanrana! Cletus has to pay attention with this Golden Eagle in the ring.

Sid: That he does.

Guy: Now with the pick up and body slam. Rolling Thunder!

Sid: You know what? The Eagle moves like someone that I know.

Guy: *shaking his head* I don’t know. Eagle now climbing the top ropes again.

Sid: A high flyer is he? I think much.

Guy: What is he going to do here? Cletus gets up and is nailed with a missile dropkick! Eagle is very athletic. Now a spinning neck breaker and Cletus is down again.

Sid: He looks like Xtreme Z did last week… dizzy and a little tipsy.

Guy: Uh, okay? You know, Sid, I like working with you.

Sid: Really?

Guy: Yeah, then I look like the smartest man in wrestling!

Sid: Shut your mouth, you silly bastard!

Guy: Anyways, Eagle just nailed a ddt and Cletus looks really bad tonight. Eagle with the pick up and Cletus just delivered a low blow! Cletus whips Eagle into the ropes and what a vicious clothesline! Again, Cletus with a irish whip and clothesline.

Sid: He’s really using power moves to slow down the smaller Eagle.

Guy: That is true. Suplex and that’s followed by an elbow drop. Cletus grabs Eagle by the mask and is trying to take it off! Eagle with a back elbow and Cletus is stunned. Eagle now with a head scissor takedown. He goes for the pin. 1---2--Darknight pulls the ref out and clocks him with a hard right.

Sid: He sure was out for awhile. I wonder what he was doing under the ring for so long. makes a jerking motion.

Guy: You’re incorrigible. Darknight grabs a chair and hits Eagle in the back of the head. Now he smacks Cletus on the back with it. Night lays
the chair on Cletus’ back and climbs the ropes. Diving head butt of the top rope on to the chair!

Sid: What an idiot! He just knocked himself out cold!

Guy: I’d agree that that wasn’t the smartest move. All three men are down and another ref enters the ring. He starts to count. 1--2--3--4--5--6--Eagle gets up first and picks up Darknight and body slams him on top of Cletus. Eagle goes off the ropes and hits the Eaglesault on both men! Golden Eagle climbing the ropes again and 5 star splash! He calls that the Screaming Eagle! 1--2--3! Golden Eagle wins an impressive victory!

Winner: Golden Eagle
Cut to commercial

Guy: Welcome back to Mayhem. Its now time for the Big Daddy Colossus and Cooter Clampett match up.

Cooter Clampet -vs- Big Daddy Colossus
“Duelling Banjos” rocks the pa for the second time tonight and Cooter walks out to boos and jeers from the crowd.

The arena goes black just as Cooter enters the ring. A lightning bolt rocks the entrance and another one hits the titan tron. A white light and fog pour from the door way and a silhouette can be seen. Micheal Buffer’s voice is heard and Name of the Game by Crystal Method rocks the speakers. Colossus walks out as the lights come on and he stops on the ramp and raises one arm and the crowd give him a mixed reaction.

Guy: Hey! Trish Stratus is behind Colossus!

Sid: That is one reason why God is a man! Trish is a goddess!

Guy: I won’t argue with that. Colossus enters the ring and the bell sounds to start this matchup with two mammoths of men. Cooter is 6’9 and olossus is 7’1. Weight is pretty even, but look at the definition in the physic of Colossus!

Sid: He is a huge mutha!

Guy: Shut yer mouth!

Sid: I’m talking about Colossus!

Guy: Alright then. Wait did we just pull a Shaft?

Sid: I know its sad.

Guy: Colossus is asking for a mic.

Colossus: Now, listen up! I AM Big Daddy Colossus and I am here to kick ass a chew bubblegum! And I’m all outta bubble gum! Cooter, you have a problem. That problem is that B…D…C is here and he’s goin’ kick the living shit out of ya!

Guy: Colossus drops the mic and quickly nails Cooter with a hard right hand. Cooter stands there and smiles. Colossus runs off the ropes and nails Cooter with a clothesline, and Cooter is still standing!

Sid: Cooter is definitely strong if he can stand after those shots by BDC.

Guy: Colossus again off the ropes and he takes a boot to the face, courtesy of Cooter! Cooter grabs Colossus and power slams him. Follows up with a elbow drop to the chest and Colossus looks winded after that one.

Sid: I would be too if that fat bastard landed on me like that!

Guy: Cooter grabs Colossus and picks him up and slings the big man over his shoulder. Cooter looking to deliver a shoulder breaker, but Colossus reverses it and executes a reverse ddt! Colossus on to the top rope now and waiting for Cooter to stand up. Wait a second! Cletus is coming to ring side! Cletus grabs one of Colossus’ feet and pulls it off the rope causing Colossus to land on the turnbuckle in a very sensitive place!

Sid: Another way to have a child free life!

Guy: You’re terrible! Cooter is up now and superplexes Colossus! What a move by Cooter.

Sid: I didn’t think that the Redneck Retard could pull a move like that off.

Guy: Well, he just did. Both men are down as that move took a lot out of both men. Colossus is up first and he drops a fist into the groin of Cooter. Colossus poses his massive muscles for the crowd and he’s getting cheered!?

Sid: That’s only the ladies in the crowd.

Guy: Trish looks a bit upset with Colossus! He sees her and stops what he’s doing and turns his attention to Cooter. Colossus picks Cooter up like he’s a feather! Look at the power! Colossus with a body press. Carmen is now in at ring side and on the apron. She’s distracting the ref and that allows Cletus to nail Colossus from behind with a chair shot! Cooter falls on top of Colossus and Carmen is dragged off the apron by Trish!

Sid: Cat fight! Bring the tub of oil!

Guy: Shut up! Wait a minute the ref starts counting 1---2--kick out by Colossus!

Sid: Darkstalka is coming to ring side now!

Guy: Darkstalka is now beating the crap out of Cletus! This has really turned out to be mayhem! Cooter is leaving the ring to help his brother and clotheslines Stalka from behind. Colossus is now leaving the ring and slaps the torture rack on Cooter! No! It was a set up for a reverse Samoan drop! Colossus rolls Cooter back into the ring and climbs the ropes again! The big man is preparing for take off! Elbow drop! Right into the heart of Cooter. Colossus picks Cooter up and Chokeslam! Colossus is motioning that time is over for Cooter! Colossus with the pick up and sets him up shoulder breaker style. Crowncracker! 1---2---3! Colossus with an impressive win over the equally impressive Cooter!

Winner: Colossus
Sid: If Cooter worried less about his brother and more about his match, it may be him celebrating right now.

Guy: No argument here, Sid. Folks we’ll be back in a few minutes as we prepare for all hell to break out as the triple cage is being lowered.

Cut to commercial

Sid: Welcome back to Mayhem and that’s what we are about to have here.

Main Event Grant "Neep" Turner -vs- Angel
Triple Cage U.S. Title Match
Morning Glory” by Oasis plays as Commissioner Neep makes his way to the cages.

“Supernatural” by D.C Talk plays next and the crowd go crazy for the two belt champ.

Guy: Here we go! The bell goes and the cage door is locked. The only way to win is to grab the belt suspended over 40 feet above the floor! Weapons are all over the place inside the cage and are legal to use.

Sid: Now this could get ugly real fast.

Guy: Neep runs at Angel he catches Neep and delivers a vicious spine buster.

Sid: That’s not a good way to start the match!

Guy: Nope. Angel is starting to climb up to the second level on the rope ladder! Neep gets up and grabs Angel’s boot and pulls him off. Angel’s one leg is stuck between the rungs on the ladder! Neep grabs a chair and smashes Angel in the face with it!

Sid: That guys dentist is going to love him after this match!

Guy: Neep is climbing OVER Angel to the second cage! Angel kicks his good leg up and it catches Neep in the balls!

Sid looks at Guy in shock

Guy: Sorry. It just slipped. Neep is down and Angel starts climbing the ladder again. He’s on the second level and looks down at Neep who’s still holding his family jewels. Frog splash!

Sid: That’s why he’s the champ, folks. Sacrifice!

Guy: My God! That was incredible! Both men are feeling the impact of that move. Neep is up first and Angel is right behind him. Both men trade punches to see who will climb first. Neep goes down one knee and goes Angel a payback to the nuts! Neep climbs the ladder and is now on the second level. Wait a second! Dreamer is coming down from the rafters! He’s climbing down the ladder to the second level where Neep is. Neep looks up and catches Dreamer’s boot with his teeth. Dreamer starts stomping on the ribs of Neep!

Sid: I knew it, I knew it! This is really going to get bad.

Guy: Angel is now climbing the ladder to the third level! Darkstalka is running to the cage now! Who’s that at the top?

Sid: I don’t know. But he is waving Angel on!

Guy: Another member of Hell’s Fury is at the top and encouraging Angel on. Angel is at the top and looks up at the unknown man. He super kicks Angel off the top of the cage! Angel falls and lands on the first level, bounces off and lands on the Spanish announcing table, smashing it to fire wood!

Sid: Holy shit! That was incredible!

Guy: I am shocked! Who is that guy? He takes off his shirt. What’s it say? 2badd? Who the hell is 2badd?

Sid: I know! The former Japanese lightweight champion! He is the brother of Big Daddy Colossus!

Guy: Great! Now we have Brothers of Destruction in the RMWF! Nightmare is coming out and is checking on Angel and the Hunter is also out! Hunter is heading straight for Neep! Nightmare helps Angel up, I can’t believe that he’s still alive after that 40 foot fall!

Sid: The guy is a freakin’ miracle!

Guy: Angel climbing the side of the cage and is heading up to the third level! Hunter is on the second level and grabs Neep just before he enters the third level. Hunter pulls him off the ladder and onto a chair! Angel is slowly making his way to the top where 2badd is waiting. Angel stops at the second level and takes a minute to catch his breath.

Sid: That fall would’ve knocked the wind out of me too! I still can’t believe it!

Guy: It was an incredible display of athleticism on Angel’s behalf to even get up. Hunter starts to stomp on Neep and 2badd drops down on top of Hunter and gives him a hurricanrana! 2badd grabs the chair and proceeds to bash Hunter’s leg. Neep is still down and now Nightmare is climbing to Hunter! Bonecrusher and Crippler are coming out now! Nightmare stops climbing and tries to stop the tag team.

Sid: This is getting out of hand! These two groups are going after each other with everything and everyone they got!

Guy: That it is. Colossus is out now, but he‘s walking to the cages. Crusher and Crippler are handling Nightmare quite easily. 2badd and Hunter are going at it and Angel is on the top level! He’s reaching for the belt, but Neep grabs his foot and pulls him down just as Angel tried to grab the belt! Remember folks, anyone can grab the belt. But the first person to walk out the gate with it is the champion. Neep and Angel are now trading shots again. Hunter is tossed down to the first level and 2badd follows with a leg drop off the second level!

Sid: 2badd is a great risk taker and he’s proving it here!

Guy: Why did he show up now?

Sid: Hell’s Fury and the Alliance are definitely feuding and 2badd was brought in to even things out.

Guy: It seems that the Alliance has more members than Fury. Crippler and Bonecrusher. Darkstalka, 2badd, Colossus and Neep. Dreamer is now climbing down and axe handles Neep.

Sid: Dreamer was in shock at watching his leader take that plunge that he was not doing anything for that 5 minutes.

Guy: I’m still in shock. Angel and Dreamer double teaming Neep now with a double power bomb. Both men really kicking the hell out of Neep. In the past couple of weeks, Neep has been burned and kidnapped and drugged and now this! This man is RMWF to the core of his very being!

Sid: He’s a tough son-of-a-b###h! And he will always kick ass and get his ass kicked!

Guy: Colossus is just watching from the side of the floor. 2badd looks up and sees Neep getting teamed and is now climbing the to the top level. Dreamer stomps on 2badds fingers and he drops to the second level. Hunter nails him with the spear as 2badd is falling! Good God, this match is really crazy! Colossus is now getting into the cage as Angel climbs the ladder. Crippler is also entering the cage. Ty My Sho and Mo My Lon are running out of the crowd and they double supe kick Bonecrusher! Crippler is leaving the cage to help his partner and the Clampetts are coming out as well! All hell has broken loose! The Clampetts and Lon and Sho are kicking the shit out of Crippler and Crusher! Colossus is climbing the ladder and is now on the second level where Hunter is pounding on 2badd. Colossus grabs Hunter and choke slams him straight to hell!

Sid: Right through the hole to the first level!

Guy: Darkstalka comes around and he’s got a chair. He cleans the deck as the Clampetts take off to the back! Ty and Mo are both nailed with the chair by Stalka! Nightmare just grabbed Stalka and planted him with a ddt. Colossus is now on the third level where Neep, Angel and Dreamer are. Dreamer turns and tries to stop Colossus, but he gets a boot to the face for his trouble! Angel turns around and gets a Crowncracker! Colossus tosses Dreamer down to the second level. Angel is busted open! Neep is down. Angel is down and Colossus is the only one standing by the belt! He looks at it as it brushes against his massive shoulder. He looks at Neep and then Angel. He grabs Angel and choke slams him! OH, MY GOD! Colossus choke slams Angel and he goes through ALL THREE levels and the ring!!!!!!

Sid: He’s out of control!

Guy: The World Champion isn’t moving! Colossus picks up Neep now!

Sid: I knew it! He only cares about himself! He wants the belt!

Guy: No! Colossus is helping Neep grab the belt! Neep holds the belt to his chest and Colossus throws Neep over his shoulder and is now climbing down the ladders. No one is even going to stop him after what he did to Angel! They are all looking at him in wide eyed horror! Colossus stops inside the ring and puts Neep down. 2badd helps Neep out of the cage! Neep is the new U.S Champion!

Winner and New U.S. Champ: Neep
Sid: What the hell is Colossus doing!?

Guy: What? It wasn’t enough that you put him through all three cages
and the ring?

Sid: I can’t believe it! He’s smiling at Angel and his pissing on him!

Guy: Folks we’re out of time! See you for Havok! Colossus is a monster!

Camera fade to black.

RMWF

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Page Updated Mon Dec 17, 2001 2:52pm EST