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SiD's Greatest Hits Hosted by : Bobby " The Brain " Heenan
" He has been with The RMWF from the start and bitched his whole way through ! I don't think he ever met a person he liked except his partner for one year Guy Mandel but even he has not been safe from his nasty comments . Of course I am talking about none other then our color commentator SiD " The King " Nasty . Who could forget all his great comments , actions and momments in The RMWF . From defending his King of the Ring crown , to getting Riley Finn hurt and jailed these are all the great momments we could dig up of SiD Nasty !!! "

( All eye's go up the the big screen in the sky as SiD's greatest hits play out in living color ! )

Ladies Night PPV
SiD " There's the money shot!!! We got to see Sharon's pink panties and up the Kat's Pussy hole!!! "

Billy Idol " Right that's it!!! SiD after the show im buying you a whore .. you're pathetic "

SiD " Hey I got my share back in the day "

Billy Idol " I'll bet "

????
SiD " Can I make a suggestion Guy "

Guy " Sure I guess "

SiD " Could you try to shut up and stop delaying the goddamn matches???? "

Guy " Only if you could stop being an asshole for a full minute "

SiD " Suck my ass "

____________________

Guy " Know who I saw the other day???? "

SiD " Your mom in the projects sucking dick for crack???? "

Guy " f--- you .. No .. I saw Arn Anderson outside of a McDonalds panhandling "

SiD " HA!!! "

Guy " I felt bad for the guy so I bought him a quarter pounder "

SiD " That's it???? You didn't even get him a value meal???? "

Guy " Well no "

SiD " You cheap bastard "

And who could forget SiD getting shot on Jamal's Def Jam!
X-Treme Inc.'s shotgun spray cuts threw several of the fans on the bleechers. Everyone is running around screaming. Kid Money comes running out during the commotion with his guns blazing and shoots Bandit in the arm and in the leg. Bandit hits the ground and MadMan starts dragging him away now firing off rounds with his pistol.

Sid - AAAAAAHHH!! I'm hit!! They shot me!! They shot me!!

Jamal - Shut up PUNK!!

Violator manages to escape while taking Wild Kat as a hostage. The Preacher Man chases after them. In the distance sirens can be heard.

Jamal - Shit!! Da cops!!

Madman drags the wounded Bandit around the side of the house and Kid Money hops into his car and peels out. Jamal throws his gun into Sid's lap as the police arrive pointing there guns at everyone.

Jamal - shit yo.. I guess dis muh-fuckin show be over now.. Da last match'll be redid.. next week aight.. peace out!!

SiD " That was it , that was my part of The PPV ? That really sucked , I had better momments then that , who was in charge friggen that retard Jamal !!! Should of know you lazt bastards could not take the time to find all my great momments , thats how you repay me for a years servive , fuckers ! "

Guy " If we did all your great momments we would have to give you , your own PPV !"

SiD " Yeah I guess for once you are right and don't think because they said I like you that means I really do ! "

Guy " Well then I guess I will not give you the anniversary present I bougth you."

SiD " You got me a gift how nice !"

Guy " SiD is that a tear I see ? "

SiD " NO , you little faggot ! I do not cry , I'll be right back !

Guy " While SiD is drying his eyes lets drop in and see what one of our old wrestlers is up to !

( The camera shows Bandit on the set of his new X-Rated film, "Dr. Wad Gobbler MD". He's having anal sex with a blonde girl wearing a nurse's uniform. He pulls out of her ass and she starts jerking him off. )

Nurse " OOoooh yea baby!!! Cum all over my tits.. yes!!

Bandit " UUUuuggghhhghghh!!! "

( She finishes tugging on his cock as he ejaculates semen all over her firm breasts. )

Nurse " MMMMmmm.. Oh yea baby... YEA!!! "

( She smears Bandit's cum across her chest and licks it off of her fingers. )

Director " Cut!!! That's a rap!! "

( Bandit walks off the stage set and is handed a robe from the 'fluffer' which he put on and approaches our camera. )

Bandit " Hey guys what's up? This way "

( He leads the camera man to his dressing room. )

Bandit " So yea.. As you can see I'm making a name for myself in the adult industry. I'm not a star yet.. But i AM still new to this scene.. "

( Back to Guy and SiD )

Guy " Uuuuuum that was nice . "

SiD " What was the name of that movie ? I got to get me a copy ! "

Guy " You pervert ! "

SiD " Hey , I just like to support our wrestlers in there ner careers ."

Guy " You never liked Bandit . "

SiD " Ahhh your such a liar . "

Guy " Well we will be visiting a lot of our older wrestelrs that lived to see what they have been doing after The RMWF but for now our second match ."

SiD " 'Bout time this thin is gonna go on all nigh if we don't hurry ."

Guy " Hey we like to give the people there $29.99 worth dam it . "

Farooq -vs- Fightnin Falcon ( Harcore Rules )
Guy " This is a No Rules , One Fall , Hardcore Rules Match . Gary Coleman is done with the intros so lets get down to the action ."

SiD " Hey , you promised celebrities and all we had was Lenord Nimoy , he's not a celebritie he's a washed up no body , star trek reject ! "

Guy " We're gonna have music by Dingoes Ate Mye Baby after this match . "

SiD " Hmmm never heard of them , what a rip off ! "

Guy " Farooq and Falcon in the ring and Falcon decides to get the match over by pulling a gun out of his hand bag . "

SiD " A gun come on thats riduculas . "

Guy " Farooq , dives and tackles Falcon knocking the gun from his hand and out of the ring . Now they wrestle for Falcon's bag but it gets kicked in the corner and Falcon scurrys after it . Farooq grabs him by one leg and drags him back then gives him a karate chop to the back of the neck . Farroq now flips Falcon over and sling shots him into the opposite corner of the bag ."

SiD " I wonder what else he has in that bag , a hand grenade ?"

Guy " Falcon gets up and stumbles back where Farooq is waiting and takes him down with a neck breaker . Farooq slaps on a head lock and Falcon swings his arms trying to escape . He gets up to one knee then nails Farooq with an elbow to ... "

SiD " His stomach , I'm sick of you saying mid-section ! "

Guy " Fine you friggen wierdo , STOMACH , happy ?"

SiD " Yes . "

Guy " Two more shots by Falcon break the hold and he finishes off Farooq with a standing drop kick ! Falcon now goes outside the ring to get something ?"

SiD " He's gonna get the gun ! "

Guy " No , a big rat just ran by and took off with it . "

SiD " This place has rats , yeeeeeek ! "

Guy " Falcon trys to catch the rat but is too slow . Meanwhile Farooq is climbing the top rope and comes flying down for a flying double ax handle nailing Falcon . Farooq grabs a chair and slams it into Falcon's head , then across his back . "

SiD " It's all the rats fault ! "

Guy " Farooq now with a power slam sends Falcon into the steal barricade where a fan punches him in the face . Falcon takes a swipe at the fan but is nailed from behind by Farooq then is pulled up the entrance ramp ."

SiD " Where is he going ?"

Guy " Back stage where there is more stuff to beat him with . Falcon shakes off Farooq and runs away as Farooq gives chase . Falcon stops and picks up an oil drum and tosses it at Farooq nailing him in the face . "

SiD " Talk about oil look at Farooq's hair . He has enough greece in it to stop the California power problems . "

Guy " Cut it out he does not ."

SiD " What ever happened to the jerry curl that was a good hair-do ?"

Guy " Anyway Falcon finds a metal crow bar and slams it into Farooq's ribs and he flinches then spits blood ."

SiD " That can't be a good thing ."

Guy " Falcon gears up to deliver another blow but Farooq gets off a nut shot causing Falcon to drop his weapon . Now , Farooq crawls away and takes a breather as Falcon clutches his balls and falls to the floor . Farooq checks his ribs then grabs a fist full of hair and slams Falcon's head into the floor . He gets up and gets into the parked truck , turns the key and starts it up ."

SiD " Come on this is a little riduculas why is there a truck parked back there ?"

Guy " To bring supplies in , damn your stupid ."

SiD " Piss of you cock sucker . "

Guy " Farooq steers the truck towards Falcon who dives out of the way , causing Farooq to slam into a wall and fly out of the windshield ."

SiD " See wear your seat belt kids ! "

Guy " Farooq is a bloody mess and Falcon takes off bakc to the ring . What the hell is he doing ?"

SiD " He is going for that stupid bag , what the hell is in that bag ?"

Guy " Falcon gets half way back up the entrance ramp and drops his jaw and the bag as a bloddy Farooq limos towards him . He can't believe Farooq is still going . Farooq has a baseball bat and swings it almost taking off Falcon's head . It snaps back as a spray of blood and spit fly across the arena !"

SiD " Oh man this is a brutal match , someone is gonna die if it does not end soon ."

Guy " Farooq falls to one knee and trys to crawl to get the cover but is just out of energy . Falcon dives and grabs his bag in a last ditch effort . He reaches in and pulls out ... "

SiD " A FRIGGEN HAND GRENEADE I WAS RIGHT , THAT SICK BASTARD HE'S GONNA KILL US ALL !"

Guy " Falcon pulls the pin and trys to toss the greneade but falls unconscience. The greneade lands on his chest . "

SiD " OH SHIT DUCK ! "

BOOM
SiD " What happened is everybody dead ? "

Guy " No , the ref pulled Farooq out of the way just in time . LLooks like just some of the fans died , plus Falcon . "

SiD " Oh yuck look it's someones arm on out table ."

Winner : Farooq
SiD " Hey , who is gonna be your partner during my match ?"

Guy " Bobby , The Brain ."

SiD " Are you friggen kidding you are not worthy to sit next to him , I should be ."

Guy " Relax you can meet your idle at the post show party ."

SiD " Well then lest get moving , I can't wait ."

Guy " Well our next month to revisit is October and what do you think of most when you hear October ? Haloween of course so lets take another trip down memory lane with a clip from Haloween Holocost . "

( The scene switches over to a boiler room where a annoying scratching sound sends shivers down your spine . Just then a hand pops up around the corner with five very sharp knives as fingers . A very burnt man with a dumb hat and striped shirt appears , sits down and crosses his legs ...)

Hello folks , this is Freddy Krueger here brining you your worse NIGHTMARE , HAHAHAHA ! Tonight I will be introducing you to The RMWF's scariest momments and what better way then with Spider-Man's Halloween Holocost . In October 2000 , old Spidey took us on a trip of gouls , ghost and deformed midgets to bring us one of the best and most horrifying PPVs ever . The ring was a grave yard , the matches deadly but only one incident could make the cut . So who better to bring you this act of terror then one of The RMWF's most terryifing stables X-Treme Inc . Hey , they even give me nightmares ! "

Haloween Holocost October 2000
( The scene cuts over to Truimph the insult comic dog who is in Ashura's hospital room. )
Truimph " Well folks I am here at some stinking Florida hospital this is Monday by the way and will be aired on Halloween because they are too cheap to have a Monday show at the RMWF .. Anyway I'm in the room of Ashura .. I humped her leg .. But seriously folks .. She is doing fine but just heavily sedated right now .. It would take much more than an exploding moterbike to take out Ashura .. She is a very very good
wrestler .. FOR ME TO POOP ON!!!!!! Hey what's this???? It looks like some of her friends are here to visit her "

( Bandit, Madman, Violator and Maverick walk through the door. )

Truimph " Hey wait a minute???? Why are they taking off their pants???? They're not going to .. Oh my dear Lord they are!!!!! They are having their way with her .. I cannot watch!!!! Well okay maybe I can .. This is disgusting .. They could've at least waited til she woke up!!!! Well I think they're going to get it when she does!!!!! And not in the good way they are now .. I guess I'll go now .. We will probably cut to the
Halloween PPV which I'm told is supposed to be an excellent show .. FOR ME TO POOP ON!!!!!! "

Freddy " Wow , even the old Krueger never raped anyone . I bet Ashura wished that when she woke up that , that was all just a nightmare . But hey sometimes reality can even be better then nightmares . Good job X-Treme Inc , this is Freddy Krueger saying pelasent dreams FOR NOW !!!! "

( Back to Guy and SiD )

SiD " Wheeew Darkstalka and Ashura are gonna be pissed that we reshowed that one . But hey it never happened acording to Darkstalka , he makes up his own rules . "

Guy " We have so much more to do . We still got all the belts on the line , more memory's man this show is just way to packed . Up next we have Issue's with Sub Zero and Scorpian !"

( Issue's is sitting in his cramped office with Sub Zero and Scorpian by his sides . )

Issue's " When The Prez told me about this show and how we we're gonna look back on all our great momments , I figured the show would be full of Sunday War clips . Stone Cold , Steve Eggs Hard and of course Sub Zero and Scorpian but little did I know it was gonna be all Spider-Man clips and once again I was gonna get stuck with the short end of the stick . Only one moment from my shows , YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ! So here is my one clip that The Prez picked for me . "

Sunday Night War ( Kitchen Match )
Guy: We'll have to find out why some other time, cause we're ready for the kitchen brawl!!

Sid: Lets go to the backstage camera, which is gonna watch the match for us!

The camera goes backstage. The kitchen is a bit smoky, The Reaper, Rebel, Omega Fro and Bob the chef with his meat cleaver are stood at opposite corners of the kitchen, waiting for the rules.

Ref: The rules are simple, the first person to escape from the kitchen wins the match, anything goes.

Sid: We're underway here in the kitchen brawl. Rebel and Reaper go at it, Omega Fro goes for bob, but has to dodge as Bob swings the meat cleaver at him.

Guy: This should be great! Omega Fro has a knife, he and bob fight back and forth, thrusting and parrying all around the kitchen! Bob is experienced with the cleaver, he knocks the blade from Omega Fro's hand, and bullies forward into him knocking him down to the ground! He brings the blade down and Omega Fro dodges, but Bob still gets him on the arm, cutting him lightly.

Sid: That's gonna hurt! Rebel kicks Reaper, and whacks him with a frying pan! DONG! Hey rebel, this isn't a cartoon!!

Guy: Reaper goes down, hey, rebel has turned on the oven! He opens the door, puts Reaper's head in! He yelling, it must be boiling hot in there!

Sid: But he hits a low blow on rebel, and stands back up! Now he reaches for a soup server! He cracks Rebel over the head with the soup server! HAHAHA! This is great! I wonder how nick thought of this!

Guy: Dunno, but I like him for it!

Sid: Bob and Omega Fro are still fighting, they exchange punches, bob has dropped his cleaver into a sink full of water, he's searching for it!

Guy: But look out, Omega Fro grabs him and puts his head underwater, Bob is drowning!!

Sid: Bob just went limp, I guess Omega has killed him or something!

Guy: Either way, Omega Fro is gonna leave, he's headed for the swinging twin doors!

Sid: He opens them, hey look out it's Vulcan Raven!!

We interrupt this clip for an important announcement :

Clive Anderson " If we actually showed this whole clip , which we can not do to time , you would have seen Vulcan Raven win this match . But in this late breaking news we just found out that Nick really won it or was it Stone Cold . No , no wait it was Sub Zero , Sub Zero with his partner Scorpian , congradulations on your wins ! "

Guy " You set Clive up to that didn't you ? "

SiD " Yep ! "

Guy " One of these days Issue's or Nic is gonna kick your ass ."

SiD " Yeah whatever we should get on with the matches . "

HHH -vs- Darkstalka ( TV Belt )
Guy " HHH is one of our best new guys we have had in a while . Him and Trunks really worked hard to make there way to the top and he has really earned this shot at the TV belt ."

SiD " Aaaah whatever , when he came into the fed there was no compotition . He had an easy walk to the top . I have my money on Darkstalka ."

Guy " Well we will see . The match is about to start . Darkstalka takes HHH down and lifts him up for a power bomb ! HHH gets up only to be taken down again by a clothesline from Darkstalka . It looks as if Darkstalka is playing with HHH just taunting him waiting for him to get up . But hey you can never get a reading off the guy he just shows no emotion."

SiD " Brenda's got a big'ol butt !"

Guy " HHH is not getting up trying to bait Darkstalka in and he does recieving a boot in the face by The Evil One ."

SiD" Laquesha's got a big'ol butt ."

Guy " Darkstalka now with a double hook suplex sends HHH flying over his head and HHH can see his belt dreams slipping away !

SiD " Told ya my money's on old Darky . "

Guy " Don't call him that . I'm sure he would not like it !"

SiD " You called him The Evil One so I can call him old Darky !"

Guy " HHH is not ready to give up yet as he dives at The Lord of Blackness ."

SiD " KIng of all Gone Wrong , heh . "

Guy " HHH takes down The Man of Mystery and delivers a right hand but it is cut short as
El Dark'o blocks the blows and flips him off . HHH rolls into a kneeling postion and wipes the swet from his forehead . Darkstalka charges , stops and delivers a standing drop kick ."

SiD " Out of names for him how about The One Who Never Cry's ?"

Guy " Nah now we are grasping at straws it was fun for a while but he's back to old Darkstalka ."

SiD " Fine old Darky for me then ."

Guy " Darkstalka with a ddt on HHH and look he is already setting him up for The Darksider off the top rope . Thats The Lord of all Bad's finisher for all that don't know and 1 ,2 3, Darkstalka makes short work of HHH !

Winner and still TV Champ : Darkstalka

RMWF

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Page Updated Sat May 19, 2001 6:38am EDT