St. Patrick's Day 2001 PPV - ( part 2 ) - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives/St_Patricks_Day_PPV

HHH -vs- Lightning
( continued )
Guy " HHH with a sidewalk slam to Lightning.. off the ropes he nails his opponent with a running elbow drop!!!! Lightning starts to get back up but HHH grabs him byt eh hair and.. Lightning gives HHH an uppercut that knocks him back a few steps!!! Lightning follows nu0p with a dropkick and then a victory roll!!! HHH sits thee a moment before getting bsck to his feet and is takin back down by a swinging neckbreaker!!! "

SiD " Hey is that Eric "The Crusher" Johnson coming out??? "

Guy " I.. I think it is.. Yes!!! "

SiD " I thought he was dead??? "

Guy " We all did.. he's coming over here to the table "

( The fresh-faced Crusher picks up the announcer's mic as the crowd gets noisy in confusion. Eric begins to speak. )

Eric " Hello everyone.. As you can see i survived the flight 129 bombing. The reason was simply that i had gotten so drunk last night at a pre-St Patrick's Day party that i passed out hard around four this morning and the hotel wake up call din't wake me up so i therefore missed the flight "

SiD " Lucky bastard "

Eric " i finally did get up around Noon and caught the next flight here "

Guy " After the bombing weren't you scared to fly again??? "

Eric " No.. not really. I came here to wrestle and that's what i plan to do "

Guy " Well... ummmm.. your opponent did die.. and there's no more room in this card left.. Several last minute changes have already been made.. i dont think it would be possible for another "

Eric " ....... "

SiD " Just be thankful your alive "

Eric " ....... "

( A disapointed looking Eric Johnson set the mic back down on the table then exits the arena. )

Guy " Poor kid.. He came all the way to Ireland.. Almost died.. and didn't get his match "

SiD " Them's the breaks though.. Ohhh!!! Lightning punched HHH so hard it made him do a 360!!! Now he's slapping on a full Nelson!!! HHH is flailing his arms around in an attempt to get out of the hold "

Guy " Lightning whips HHH.. HHH reverses it and whips him to the turnbuckles.. HHH charges him then smashes Lightning's face against the turnbuckles.. He's tying his arms up in the ropes.. now he's just repeatedly pummeling Lightning!!! "

SiD " There comes the ref breaking it up "

Guy " HHH is arguing with the ref as Lightning.. He's pulling out a pair of brass knuckles!!! He slips them on his hand... He rushes HHH in a spray of blood hits nails with an axe-handle to the face!!!! HHH hits the mat hard!!!! Lightning goes for the pin and the ref starts the three count.. and The he has made his ruling "

Winner: Lightning
Guy " I told you Lightning could wrestle "

SiD " Okay fine.. But HHH didn't know what to expect out there.. due to the match change and all "

Guy " True .. but he was warned that it might happen "

SiD " He was??? "

Guy " Yea "

SiD " Oh "

Guy " Now though we have a light wieght match featuring well.. two of this fed's lowest ranked wrestlers "

SiD " Oh joy "

Jamal -vs- Timebomb
( 'Mama Said Knock You Out' by LL Cool J hits the PA and the crowd begins to cheer and laugh as Jamal comes strutting and dancing outto the ring occompanied by his manager the Reverand Al Sharpton. A moment later Timebomb appears, alone, to no music and no crowd response and also goes down to the ring. )

SiD " Hey the only thing missing in this match is Fraser Newlands "

Guy " Well judging by how this card has unfolded so far who knows.. he just might "

SiD " This show has been too damn confusing "

Guy " Yea it has.. But there's the bell.. Timebomb lunges at Jamal but but he sidesteps the attack and fly-swats Timebomb in the head!!! Timebomb staggers around a bit then Jamal kicks him in the shin!!!! Timebomb grabs his leg and is hopping around on his other leg .. Jamal eye gouges him.. "

SiD " Hahaha!!! This is like the Three Stooges.. Well... Two Stooges "

Guy " Jamal now with another fly-swat which this time knocks Timebomb to the mat.. Jamal follows up with an atomic butt-drop!!!! "

( The bell rings. )

SiD " Huh??? Why'd they ring the bell??? "

Guy " I don't know but the two wrestlers and the crowd alike share our confusion "

( The Spider-Man theme song comes across the PA as old web-head himself walks down toward the ring holding a mic. The audience cheers his name as he enters the ring. Their voices and his music die down as he begins to speak. )

SiD " NOW WHAT??? "

Guy " Shhhh!!!! "

Spidey " Okay.. People of Ireland and all the veiwers at home.. No doubt you have all been made aware of the tragedy that occured this morning with the ill-fated flight #129.. And that we lost two of the RMWF's wrestlers and had presumed a third until Eric "The Crusher" Johnson showed up during the last match only to discover that whereas he cheated death was cheated out of a match tonight because his opponent had himself died "

( He paces back and forth. )

Spidey " Now normally i dont really give a rat's ass about the wrestler's troubles or sob-stories.. but well i dunno somethin about that kid.. i think it was his ugly haircut.. that made me feel sorry for him "

( Spider-Man stops pacing. )

Spidey " Long story short.. I've tweaked this match.. Eric Johnson.. COME ON DOWN!!!!! "

( ___ plays on the PA as a bright-eyed Eric "The Crusher Johnson comes running down to the ring. )

Spidey " Now its a threesome "

Triple Threat

Eric "The Crusher Johnson" -vs- Jamal -vs- Timebomb
( Spider-Man shoots a web high in the arena and then swings over the catwalk then lands by the entryway door and exits. The bell rings. )

Guy " Bomb and The Crusher tie up while Jamal starts running around the ring yelling!!!! "

SiD " What's he yelling???? "

Guy " I dont have any idea "

SiD " Jamal's reaching under the ring... Hmmmm.. He doesn't pull out a weapon.. That's odd "

Guy " Yea.. We haven't seen the ring midget in quite awhile.. I wonder if he still exists??? "

SiD " We should send a camera crew down there sometime to find out where he's been hiding "

( can you smell an angle that no one will care about? i can )

Guy " Yea we should.. Timebomb with a fisherman's suplex to The Crusher.. Jamal.. What IS Jamal doing??? "

SiD " Haha!! He's fighting with some kid in the audience.. He's trying to get the kids snowcone!!! Hahaha!!! "

Guy " The kid's father shoves Jamal away and Jamal cold-cocks the guy!!!! He jumps over the barrier and is stomping the crap out of that kid's dad!!! The little boy is crying and trying to give Jamal the snow-cone!!! "

SiD " Hahaha!!! "

Guy " Eric Johnson sweeps Timebomb's feet and gives him a chop to the throat!!!! Jamal snatches the snow-cone from the kid and smiles.. He starts heading back to the ring as The Crusher pins Timebomb "

SiD " Jamal doesn't even care about winning the match anymore.. Not now that he has a snow-cone "

Guy " There's the count out and we have our winner "

Winner: Eric "The Crusher" Johnson
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Page Updated Sat May 19, 2001 6:38am EDT