Friday The 13th Special - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives/Friday_The_13th

" This is it our Friday The 13th Special , with special guest Jason Vorhees !!! Lets get ready to rumble and hope we don't run into any bad luck on this cursed day ... "

SiD " Well , we had some good luck already as there is no sign of Bad Andy .. "

Guy " Blah , blah , blah , blah , blah , blah ... "

SiD " Oh yes and , blah , blah , blah , blah , blah , blah ... "

Guy " Our first match blah , blah , blah , blah , blah , blah ... "

Madman -vs- Jamal
Guy " That ain't Jamal thats Sha-Sha ,what is going on ??? "

SiD " It does not matter thay all look the .... "

Guy ( cutting off SiD ) " Hey watch it !!!! "

Madman -vs- Sha-Sha
Guy " Thats better .. "

SiD " Yeah , I feel better already !!! "

Guy " Madman comes out in his X-Treme Inc. jersey and Sha Sha comes out to Marvin Gay " I heard it through the grape vine .... "
The match begins as the fans chant class war !!! "

SiD " What is class war ??? "

Guy " Its Sha Sha -vs- The World baby with his army of prostitutes and drug addicts !! Madman with a standing dropkick ... "

SiD " Why do we get all the scumbags , there are no scumbags in the WWF ... "

Guy " Never heard of it , the WW what ??? MadMan with a press slam and Sha-Sha not looking to good after that .. "

SiD " He's a heroin addict he never looks good ... "

Guy " Sha-Sha is up and dancing and MadMan is attacking him but it does not seem to effect him .. "

SiD " Yeah when he is a dancin there is no hurting him !!!! "

Guy " Madman keeps hammering away but Sha-Sha keeps dancing ... Madman leaves the ring and brings in a chair , which he smashes over Sha-Sha's head . Special guest ref Jason Vorhees does not call a DQ , I guess he allows weapons ... "

SiD " That sure ended Sha-Sha's dance !!! "

Guy " Madman going to work now puttting Sah-Sha in a piledriver and going for a pin .. No count as Jason is just standing there starring into space ... "

SiD " Thats what you get for hiring a dead homicidal maniac as your guest ref .. "

Guy " Madman is up and screaming at Jason but it does no good !!!! "

SiD " Look at the entrance ramp . Its The Preacher Man , I guess its a little pay back time for Ray Lucas ... "

Guy " The Preacher Man charges the ring and slides in under the ropes ... He nails Madman from behind with a steel chain and Madman is out cold !!! The Preacher Man covers Madman with Sha-Sha and is trying to explain to Jason to count .... "

SiD " Now he is counting but here comes Neep ... "

Guy " Neep makes his way into the ring just in time to break the count at two ... The Preacher Man is standing there yelling at Neep and Neep calls for the bell ... Now he is calling for the mic !!! "

Neep " The winner of his match is Madman by DQ !!! "

Guy " The Preacher Man swings the chain at Neep , but Neep ducks it and nails him in the mid-section , doubling over The Preacher .. Neep now nails The Preacher Man with the chain and escorts Jason out of the ring as I think his refing days are over ... "

Winner by DQ : Madman
( In the locker room ... )

All was cleared in the ring , Jason was paid and a new ref was put on the job , Sha-Sha was carted out of the ring and medical staff looked over Madman to make sure he was all right ... Why no medical staff for Sha-Sha because no one cares if he was all right ... The Preacher Man walked out on his own two feet but was stopped by Bad Andy to borrow a quarter ... After trying to explain to Bad Andy that he is in spandex and could not have a quarter any where the lights went off ... After a few minutes of noises of a struggle and Andy yelling like a girl , the lights turned back on .. The Preacher Man is hanning from the ceiling by his neck and spry painted behind him on the wall reads X-Treme Inc 4 Life !!! Quickly some RMWF crew pulled down The Preacher Man to make sure he did not strangle to death and we return to Guy and Sid by ringside ... "

SiD " Oh man things are heating up with X-Treme Inc. and A New Dawn ... Some of our longest running members in those two stables ... "

Guy " Yes , you can bet this fued will be a long and bloody one ... "

SiD " Poor Preacher Man he can never catch a break .. Whoever hung him , and I'm guessin Bandit , means business ... "

Guy " X-Treme always means business and I guess they are really back this time ... "

( Just then " Damage Case " by Metallica hits the PA and Max Insanity comes out in his ripped up straight jacket ... As he climbs in the ring the arena fills up with white smoke and out comes Fraser and Chyna with his scottish flag ... )

Max Insanity -vs- Fraser Newlands
Guy " Max is not waiting for the bell as he charges Fraser on the entrance ramp ... Fraser takes him down with a leg sweep and follows up with a frog splash ... Fraser with a scoop slam then picks up his flag and walks it down to the ring ... Max soon follows and dives over the ropes with a flying cross body , the cover and quick kick out by Fraser ... "

SiD " I heard that Max has a police record which includes grand theft auto , assault and battery , its a mile long .. Plus he was locked up a few days ago but The Prez got him released temperarily just for this match .. "

Guy " The power of money , hugh .. Max with a choke slam then a few boots to Fraser's head who ducks and covers ... Max is standing there laughing for no reason and Fraser takes advantage with a tackle then a head lock .. The hold does not last for long as Max powers his way out and lifts Fraser high above his head for a big press slam ..."

SiD " After this match Max is gonna be locked up for a while but when he gets out I predict gold in his future !!! Maybe even the hardcore title .. "

Guy " Thats a bold prediction as he would have to beat Darkstalka for that honor . But the two and O Max does seem to be winning this match as he lands a brainbuster and a
pin . "

SiD " What is he laughing at ??? "

Guy " Don't know but he is not laughing after that as Fraser gets a knee up into the groin to break the pin .. Fraser with a few head shots that don't seem to faze Max but only anger him .. "

SiD " How could you know he is angry , he is always laughing !!! "

Guy " Fraser with a swanton bomb , then a whip into the ropes but Max ducks his clothesline and grabs him biting his head .. Max is now choking Fraser and the ref trys to get him to stop but he just ignores him .. "

SiD " He is gonna get DQed .. "

Guy " Max breaks the choke hold but not before head butting Fraser first then climbimg the ropes . Before Max can jump Chyna grabs his feet and causes him to fall to the floor .

SiD " Cheating muscle head beotch !!!! "

Guy " Fraser is out of the ring now and sets Max up for a piledriver .. Max stops the move by jerking his head upwards nailing Fraser in the balls .. He has a chair but Chyna gets in his way trying to plead with him .. "

SiD " Thats it beg you wench , come on Max make her get naked to save Fraser !!!"

Guy " Chyna's pleads go unoticed as Max nails her with the chair then Fraser .. The bell rings but Max does not stop .. He sets Chyna on top of the German Announcer table ... "

SiD " German Announer table ??? "

Guy " Yeah we are global now ... Then he scoops up Fraser over one shoulder and sends both him and his manager crashing thorugh the table with a running power slam ... Max laughs for a minute then grabs Fraser's Scottish flag ... He breaks the flag in half then drapes it over the knocked out Fraser and Chyna before leaving for the entrance ramp ... "

Winner by DQ : Fraser Newlands
( Locker room report by Clive Anderson ... )

" This is Clive Anderson with a locker room report ... Kid Money was out doing some kinda drug deal/ bad thing and when he returned to his lcoker room and found Slezy D knocked out and beaten ... The weapon was an iron what Kid Money had in his locker room ... As an insider reported a note was found that read :
NO ONE IS SAFE FROM
X-TREME INC !!!
Now back to Guy and SiD

Kid Money -vs- The Crow
Guy " Our next match has already started as Kid Money and The Crow lock horns .. "

SiD " Damn I'm gonna keep my mouth shut about X-Treme Inc or I might end up hanning from the ceiling ... "

Guy " Kid Money lands a money shot to take down The Crow but The Crow bounces back with an arm drag taking down Kid Money ... The Crow with a head scissors trying to wear dwon Kid Money but it does not work as Kid Money slips out of the hold ... "

SiD " Is Kid Money just gonna shoot this guy like the last guy ??? "

Guy " I don't see no gun around but you never know stranger things have happened in this fed ... "

SiD " Yeah that midget might have one for rent under the ring ... "

Guy " Kid Money with a tornado ddt takes down the crow and he goes for a cover ... The Crow escapes the count by getting a knee up on Kid Money , then follows up with a vertical suplex ... The Crow goes for an elbow drop but Kid Money moves out of the way , Kid Money quickly gives The Crow his own elbow drop then hooks the leg for a cover , only a two count this time as The Crow kicks out ... "

SiD " This guy , Kid Money , is just another example of the derilects in this fed .. He does interviews while robbing people for drug money , talks about shooting people .. This gfed is nothing but a collection of freaks , wierdo's and criminals .. It should be shut down and everyone killed .. "

Guy " Damn SiD a little bitter , maybe its time you get laid soon ... A lot of pent up anger in you ...This fed is collection of great talent from around the world , and discriminates against no one ... If you can wrestle then you can be part of The RMWF family ... "

SiD " This fed is Jerry Springer episode gone beserk !!!! "

Guy " Ah forget you ... Kid Money slaps on a full nelson and takes The Crow down with a full nelson slam ... The Crow tumbels forward and rolls out of the ring to catch a most needed breath ... "

SiD " Look at him he is lightning a cigarette and he drives a Dodge Viper ??? "

Guy " Kid Money needs a smoke what is wrong with that ??? "

SiD " Athletes should not smoke ... "

Guy " Well this one does . The Crow makes his way back into the ring and tackles Kid Money who in return burns him with his cigarette .. The Crow is flailing in the ring and the ref makes Kid Money dispose of his Newport .. Which he does by grinding it into the ring mat ... The Crow gets up and is taken down by a drop kick , followed up by " The Money Drop " a ddt ... Kid Money with a cover and a 1..2.. kick out by The Crow .. Here comes " The Million Dollar Dream " and it doesn't take long for the ref to ring the bell as The Crow submits ... "

SiD " Its a sad day for wrestling as these dregs keep piling up wins ..."

Winner : Kid Money
Guy " Darkstalka and Warrior Three is our main event and Darkstalka says he will only wrestle on Thursdays and Fridays from now on ... "

SiD " Who does this guy think he is ??? If I were The Prez I would make him wrestle every Sunday and Wednsday after that comment ... "

Guy " Well we are almost done with The Special Friday The 13th show and nothing wierd has happened ... Jason did absolutly nothing ... "

SiD " Maybe he is the one hanging people from the rafters !!! Did you ever think of that?"

Guy " No you could be right maybe he is part of X-Treme Inc also , hahaha .. "

SiD " That would suck because he is unbeatable ... "

Ryder -vs- ESKIMO
SiD " Oh my god that is ESKIMO !!! What a fat bastard , and I though Steve Eggs Hard was fat .. "

Guy " Oh great now I'm gonna have to listen to fat jokes all match again . "

SiD " Well , how about Ryder hes so ugly the Dr. slapped his mother when he was born . "

Guy " Very original SiD , very original ... "

SiD " He is ugly , ugly white trash with money ... "

Guy " Cut it out and watch the match .. Whoooo as the bell rings a light just fell from the ceiling ... "

SiD " Someone is trying to take out Ryder or Eskimo , but they missed DAMN !!! "

Guy " That was wierd , the ref is trying to clean up the light but Ryder picks it up and nails Eskimo with it ... He's bleeding already , Eskimo that is .. "

SiD " Is the ring gonna hold this fat bastard , that light probably fell from the arena shaking because he is so fat ..."

Guy " Eskimo is on the ground bleedin and Ryder moves in with a leg drop ."

SiD " His first match in The RMWF and he is aleady bleeding in two seconds . Welcome to hell Eskimo better go back to Alaska now .."

Guy " Ryder off the ropes but Eskimo gets up and side slams him ..."

SiD " Nice catch fat boy !!!"

Guy " Eskimo wiping the blood out of his eyes lands a knee down on Ryders ribs and man that had to hurt . This guy is listed at six-hundred pounds . Here is a splash by Eskimo and a cover 1..2...3 and its over that quick folks ... "

SiD " Somebody get a medic Ryder has to be broken ... "

Winner: Eskimo
Guy " OK everything has been going normal this Friday The 13th , except for that little mishap during the last match ..."

SiD " Yeah but we better keep our eye out for Jason and Lightningrod they are both of the undead ... Can't wait for Halloween this place should be a perfect place for that holliday ."

Guy " Yes , blah , blah , blah , is anyone reading this ???? "

Darkstalka -vs- The Warrior Three ( table match )
Guy " Well its time for the main event .. Darkstalka coming off a loss to Slezy D and The Warrior Three comibg off a defeat on Thursdays battle royal .. "

SiD " Yeah Ravage the winner of that , who figured !!! "

Guy " Not me , well Darkstalka is out there with his casket and The Warrior Three makes his way to the ring with Wild Kat .. "

SiD " Oh baby , yes , she is old but hot !!! "

Guy " Do you ever get laid ??? "

SiD " Of course I'm a celebrity ... Just can't gey enough of that pussy , Wild Kat that
is ."

Guy " Here we go The Warrior Three charges Darkstalka with that sword and he ducks sending The Warrior Three into the ropes .. Darkstalka takes off his hardcore belt and nails The Warrior Three ... Darkstalka has The Warrior Three's sword now and he leaves the ring , opens his casket and puts it in there ??? "

SiD " What is up with that , he wants to keep it ???? "

Guy " Darkstalka now back in the ring blocks a punch thrown by The Warrior and lands a shot to his midsection ... "

SiD " Hey watch out our table just collapsed ??? "

Guy " Ah Oh things are starting to happen I hope this match is over quickly ... The Warrior Three got off another punch , then a double ax handle to send Darkstalka to his knees ... Darkstalka has a hold off The Warrior Three's tighs as The Warrior is pounding on him ... "

SiD " Will someone bring me a new table , get one of those tables out of the ring !!! "

Guy " Speaking of tables The Warrior Three is looking to end this match as he picks up one of the tables around the ring ... He is setting it up outside the ring .. "

SiD " What is he doing ??? "

Guy " Hes gonna throw Darkstalka over the top rope through the table but he is taking to long and Darkstalka nails him from behind .. Here is a choke slam by Darkstalka , over the ropes and on top of that casket ..."

SiD " Here comes Andy with a new table , and a few beers ... You know he's my new best pal ."

Andy " Hey , what did I miss ??? "

Guy " Your missing this , heres a recap : The Warrior Three was choked slammed over the top ropes onto Darkstalka's casket of weapons ."

Andy & SiD " Yeah ??? "

Guy " The Warrior Three tried to get up but two arms busted out of the casket and grabbed him .. He struggles for a minute then is stabbed by his own sword .. "

SiD " Who's in the casket ??? "

Guy " It's Jason Vorhees , hes back and I think he just killed The Warrior Three . WAIT Darkstalka is dousing The Warrior Three in some kind of liquid .. "

SiD " Its gasolone I can smell it over here .. "

Guy " He tosses a match and The Warrior Three bursts into flames ..."

SiD " Why is the ref not doing anything about this ??? "

Andy " Because he is dead , I think Jason killed him also ... "

SiD " Yeah I noticed he was not moving during the match , he must of been dead the whole time !!!!"

Guy " Darkstalka picks up The Warriors flaming body and slams him through the table outside the ring . Thats it the match is over .."

SiD " Hey Andy is leaving with Wild Kat , that lucky bastard !!!"

Winner : Darkstalka
Guy " Lets get the hell out of here , Jason is killing everyone !!! "

SiD " Yes , screw this crap !!! "

REPORT : ( The Warrior Three survived the stab wound and substained third degree burns . He is now forced to ware a mask to cover his scarred face .. Jason Vorhees will never be invited back as a guest refferee ... Thank You and Good Night !!! )

Jason Stats
Jason's details

FORENAME(S): Jason

SURNAME: Vorhees

HEIGHT (APPROX.): 6'3"

WEIGHT (APPROX.): 240 lbs

D.O.B: June 13th 1946

P.O.B: Wessex County

PRESENT AGE: 54

FATHER: Elias-Todd-Vorhees

MOTHER: Pamela-Sue-Vorhees

SIBLINGS: Diana Vorhees

PLACE OF DEATH: Camp Crystal Lake

CAUSE OF DEATH: Drowning

LAST SIGHTING: Crystal Lake Area

RMWF

SpiderMan7788@aol.com

Visitors: 00965

Page Updated Sat May 19, 2001 6:38am EDT