Friday Night Slam 4-20-01 - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives/4_20_01_Friday_Night

After a hectic week The RMWF returns with Friday Night Slam . We have a stacked roster , lots of cards and lots of angles so lets try to short things out with a re-cap with Bad Andy ...

Bad Andy " Lets see Darkstalka stared a King of the Ring Tourny , NOT for The King of The Ring Crown , that belongs to Pig Vomit , but just for bragging rights . The winner may claim he survived a long tourny to reach the honor of being our first King of the Ring Tourny winner . This sent our bookers and card promoters scrambling to get things in gear before Easter weekend . In old RMWF stile things blew up in The Prez's face , with late cards , canceled matches and once again lots of chaos pursued . Buffy Summers and The Klaw IV went M.I.A. as old greats like Costa Nastro Fightnin Falcon came back to the fed . Our super heavy weights Kid Money , Ashura and The Vine returned to set up whats gonna be a killer PPV for April . Lightning recovered from his gun shot wounds , The Bricks retired and so much more to report . Keep an eye out for more shit to come as we present to you Friday Night Slam and the count down to RMWF FOREVER ! "

( The Prez is in his office burried in a pile of papers as the phone rinning off the hook . He buzzes his secretary and asks her to patch him to Neep . She obliges ... )

Prez( On Phone w/ Neep ) " Neep the fed is crazy , we got this King of the Ring crap , everyone wants a title shot and we are short one booker since Nick/Issues quit . "

Neep " Yeah I am trying my best to get things in order , but what about The Kid Money problem ? He's back you know . "

Prez " I relized he is not the problem , let him be champ forever . I do not care now , there is someone else we have to take down and he's not gonna like it . "

Neep " Who and why ? "

Prez " Well he is dominating the fed and with all the new people , we have we have to open up things a bit . Come down to my office and I will tell you . I do not want to discuss it on the phone . "

Neep " OK I will be right there . "

_______________________________

Guy Mandel " Well The Prez is switching his plot now as we grow closer to the Pay Per View ."

SiD ' The King ' Nasty " Yeah he has been plotting this thing for over a month now . What is he up too ? "

Guy " Don't know guess we still have to wait and see . Well , lets get this card started as Sparten makes his way down to the ring . Sparten has exspresed his concern of his matches not being telivised , plus he wants a shot at The Hardcore Title . He believes he is far to good a wrestler to keep being ignored for this long and The Prez has responded . Giving him a match against our headline Lightning who just returned from gun shot wounds . "

SiD " Ahhhh he didn't get shot he had to have a gerbal removed from his ass . "

Guy " Thats a flat out lie and you know it ! "

SiD " Naw , my second cousin , who knows a guy , who knows a guy dating Lightning told me ."

Guy " Well, I'm glad you have these great resources SiD . You should become a news reporter . Think of all the great news you could be brinning us . "

SiD " Yeah news on how your mom is a whore . "

Guy " My mom is dead asshole . "

SiD " Damn she even gets around in the after life , friggen slut ! "

Sparten -vs- Lightning ( Televised )
Guy " Well the match begins as Lightning looks to be in good health . He waiste no time getting back into the game by charging Sparten and taking him down with a football type tackle . Sparten responds with a few punches to the back of his opponents head but Ligthning just respnds with a over the head monkey toss . "

SiD " I'm telling you gerbals man , gerbal . He's a sick puppy . "

Guy " Sparten gets up only to be nailed with a clothesline . Lightning bounces off the ropes , but BAM misses with an elbow drop . "

SiD " Nice sound effects . "

Guy " Thanks it adds to the match . Sparten now with a piledriver takes Lightning down hard to the mat . "

SiD " AAAAAA what was that ? A gerbil just fell out of Lightnings ass and ran across the ring !!! "

Guy " It did not , now stop it before he kicks your ass . Sparten now on the offensive flings Ligthning head first towards the ropes . Oh no Lightning hit the ropes and flipped over them getting his head stuck in the ropes !!! "

SiD " You don't see this happen much . He's in trouble now ! "

Guy " The ref rushes to Lightnings aid trying to untangle him but Sparten comes flying in with a knee to the head . He pushes the ref out of the way and starts to pund on Lightning's head while he is literaly being hung by the ropes . "

SiD " It would be ashame if Lightning surrived that gerbil inccident then died by getting hung in wrestling ropes . "

Guy " The man is in grave danger and your still making gerbil jokes ? "

SiD " Its not a joke . Gerbil's being removed from gay mens anuses is a true and scarry epidemic , which needs to be stopped . Not only is it a cruel act towards our furry friends but kills millions of good gay men each year . "

Guy " And it gets harder for you to get a date if all the gay men die , right ? Lightning is still hung up in the ropes as Sparten will not let the ref get near him to help him . "

SiD " The mans turning blue and his feet have stopped kicking . Someone has to do something quick or we are gonna have death on our hands early in this card ."

Guy " The ref looks to be threating Sparten with a DQ if he does not stop intefereing in Lightning's rescue . And finally Lightning is released but now what ? He has had all his life sucked out of him and the match is not over yet . Sparten is gonna have a field day ."

SiD " He should just get the pin and the win , he may have a match on the PPV but that card is not set in stone . If for some reason Lightning does come back and win this match he could lose his title shot . I mean Lightning was the last Hardcore Champ correct ?"

Guy " Correct . "

SiD " Well if he defeats Sparten , The Prez , could easily give Lightning , Spartens title shot . Both men should view this as a number one contender shot . "

Guy " Good point SiD ... Well Sparten is still gonna make sure Lightning is out for the count before he goes for the pin . "

SiD " Plus he has to get him back in the ring first . "

Guy " Yes , both me are on the outside of the ring . Lightning is not able to stand right about now and Sparten smells blood . Damn he sends him flying into the steel post then smashes Lightning's head into it one more time for good messure ! "

SiD " Sparten is out to prove himself tonight . Eeeeeew and look he drew blood "

Guy " Yes , Lightning's return is not a good one . But we have to give him the benifit of the doubt it was a wacky turn of events that he got his head stuck in the ropes . Plus word is he left the hospital early ignoring doctors orders . "

SiD " Hey a sore as is not even a big deal .... "

Guy " Don't even say it the gerbil joke is old by now . Lightning ia actually on his feet now as Sparten climbs on the ring apron . Here he comes off the ring apron BUT BELIEVE IT OR NOT LIGHTNING CATCHES HIM WITH A BIG RIGHT HAND !!! "

SiD " I can't believe he still has life !!! "

Guy " Not for long Sparten ends Lightning's attack with a clothesline then a power bomb to the floor . Sparten tosses his opponent back into the ring and climbs in after him . Lightning is in the middle of the ring not moving and Sparten goes for another high risk monuever . "

SiD " Is Lightning even breathing ? "

Guy " He's alive , HERE COMES SPARTEN OFF THE TOP ROPE and BOOM the cover 1 , 2 ,3 . It's over Sparten wins his first televised match !!! "

Winner : Sparten
" Clive Anderson here with another lame assignment . I'm suppose to be the locker room / investigative reporter and I'm lucky if I get two minutes of air time if any per show . Remember I brought you great reports like ' Where is Bandit ' and so on ... HELLO , anyone remember me ? "

( CSD walks out with a gun and crosses his arms . Clive Anderson shoots him a nervous look then straightens his tie and continues talking .... )

Clive " Uuum here are you untelevised updates :

Wild Kat Defeated Cript in KOTR !
Clive " Thank You and back to Guy and SiD .. "

_________________________

SiD " That fag is always bithing ! Someone needs to slap him . "

Guy " No wonder he is always nervous they got CSD following him around with a gun ."

SiD " Yeah I'd be nervous too if that moron was following me with a gun too . He's so stupid he probably shoot himself and you accidentally . What was The Prez thinking putting him back into the ring tonight . "

Guy " A free win for Eric ' The Crusher ' to keep him quiet . "

SiD " The Prez is so wierd sometimes . He kisses too much butt , let the friggen guy quit he sucks anyway . "

Guy " You think everyone sucks . "

SiD " Yeah , just like your mamma . "

Falcon -vs- " Scarface " Al Capone "
SiD " I mean look at The Prez , Cosa Nastro or what we have been calling it all this time , Costa Nastro , gave him so much trouble . They shot CSD , blew up staff members cars and so on and he lets them back .. I tell you no balls . "

Guy " Well maybe he wants revenge and the only way he can do that is if there in the fed . "

SiD " Nah , I think it is he has no balls . "

Guy " Yeah , maybe your right . He has not fired you yet . Well the match is ready to begin as Falcon has just made his t the ring . This should be an exciting match as Scarface and Falcon both had a promising career here and disapeared . Lets see who's gonna continue where they left off and who is gonn falter in there first match back . Falcon starts the match early with a diving clothesline but Scarface comes back with a big round house of his own . Both men exchange blows but Scarface gets off an irish whip and catches falcon for a side slam !!! "

SiD ( yawn )

Guy " Scarface , scoop slam . Then he takes Falcon around the world with a airplane spin and launches him across the ring ... Falcon gets up and charges Scarface from a football like stance taking him down with another flying clothesline . "

SiD " Is that the only move he knows ? Maybe he has forgot how to wrestle while he was gone ! "

Guy " He looks like he knows how to wrestle to me . As Falcon has Scarfce in an arm bar but the gangsta slips out and gets away . Only to be caught by a running bulldog . Followed by a snapmare . Scarface needs to do something quick and he does gettin off a rake of the eyes stopping Falcon in his tracks . Scarface with an implant ddt now then a cover but Falcon kicks out at one .. Falcon back on his feet now shaking off the effects of that ddt , dodges a clothesline from Scarface . Pushes him into the ropes and slams him down with an atomic drop . Scarface lands on the ropes and Falcon runs the other way . "

SiD " Look out ! "

Guy " Falcon off the ropes and comes down on Scarface with one leg for a rope decapitation move . Scarface holds his throat and rolls out of the ring for a breather . Falcon with a missle drop kick through the ropes . Then he slams Scarface's face into the table . Scarface turns the tables with an elbow to the ribs and then goes on the attack . Belly to belly suplex by Capone then he crawls back int the ring . Falcon follows slowley and Scarface makes him pay by kicking him in the head . "

SiD " Thats what you get for crawling under the ropes during a match ! What was Falcon thinking ? "

Guy " He's stunned and not thinking straight . Spike pliedriver by Capone and a cover . 1 ,2 NO , kick out by Falcon . Falcon with an upper cut spins Scarface around , but he ducks a clothesline from behind and delivers a somaon drop ! Capone back in control of the match slams Falcon down with a press slam . "

SiD " Guess what ? "

Guy " I give up , what ? "

SiD " Someone is coming down to ring side . "

Guy " Why do you always see someone coming down to ring side . You just sit there and watch the entrance ramp ?"

SiD " The clock is over there . "

Guy " It's that guy JT Freeze . What the hell is he doing out here ? Meanwhile in the ring Capone keeps up the attack . Scarface with a power bomb and he goes for the cover as Jt Freeze gets up on the ring apron . "

SiD " The rest of Cosa Nastro just came out . You can tell that , that loser JT Freeze is a moron . You don't screw with Capone he's Costa's leader . "

Guy " How do you know he is out here to , to get Capone ? "

SiD " Because Cosa would not be out here then . "

Guy " Looks like SiD is right , Falcon just kicked out and Capone came off the ropes for a move but JT Freeze nailed him from behind with some foreign object ! Falcon siezes the oppertuinity and gets the pin , just as Cosa gets up there . "

( BBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRAT )

Guy " They just shot JT Freeze . Oh man is he down in a pool of blood ! "

SiD " Mark thar down as another kill for Cosa ! "

Guy " Tone Capone goes to break the pin by Falcon but it is too late ! He gets the three count and wins the match . "

SiD " Are they gonna shoot Falcon , too ? "

Guy " Here comes Kid Money , as Cosa raises there guns . He stops them and whispers something to them and they all turn around and walk off ... "

SiD " That was wierd wonder what Kid Money said to them ? "

Guy " Lets got to Clive Anderson and see if he can catch them in the locker room and tell us whats going on ... "

Winners : Falcon
Guy " Clive , CLIVE are you back there ... "

( We here a flushing of a toilet and the camera switches from Guy Mnadel to a bathroom stall . Clive Anderson rushes out pulling up his pants . )

Clive " Clive Anderson here sorry I missed Cosa Nastro and K. Money I was in the camode . But I can still catch Falcon if I'm quick !!! "

( Clive runs out of the bathroom stumbling over himself . He see's Falcon walking back stage and rushes towards him stuffing the microphone in his face . )

Clive " Falcon can you pleeeeeease tell me what happened out there tonight ? It may be my job if you don't ! "

Falcon " It's your lucky day , you had good timing . I just want Costa to know that I had nothing to do with that moron out there . I don't even know his name . He must be another RMWF reject trying to make a name for himself and he did a good job . By adding himself to the long hit list of Cosa Nastro's . "

( Just then three paremedics slowly push JT Freeze by on a stretcher and Falcon kicks it over .... )

Falcon " I hope this does not ruin the chances of me joinning your stable . Because you should know that was just business out there , nothing personal .. "

( Falcon walks off ... )

Clive " There you have it , Falcon did not plan for JT Freeze to intefere . We will have to wait and see what Cosa Nastro's response is ! "

Triple J -vs- The Body Guard
SiD " Why we're all the good matches in the beginning and all the bad ones at the end ?"

Guy " The Prez said that the ratings we're slow in the beginning . He thinks maybe if he puts the good matches first people will tune in and continue to watch since they are already hooked . "

SiD " That makes no sence . "

Guy " He's experimenting and who's to say this won't be a good match ? "

SiD " Triple J ? The Body Guard , come on it's gonna suck . "

Guy " You know probably half the wrestlers quit because of you tearing them down all the time . "

SiD " And the other half is because of Nick ? "

Guy " We don't have that excuse anymore ! OK as usual the we've talked through the intros and the match has begun with The Bodyguard attacking Triple J before the bell . Triple J doubles over in the corner of the ring as Bodyguard kicks and punches him . " See it's exciting SiD . "

SiD " People are here to see a wrestling match , not a bitch fight . When are they gonna start pulling hair ? "

Guy " Oh cut it out and leave these guys alone . Bodyguard flips Triple J out of the corner with a snapmare . Then follows with a forearm smash . ' J ' now gets a knee up to Bodyguard's midsection , but he keeps coming like a man possesed . "

SiD " Bodyguard has something to prove . He wants a Euro shot and Spidey won't grant it to him . If he wins this match and his KOTR match maybe he can move up in the rankings and get a title shot . "

Guy " I don't think two matches can pull him up that far . Buuuuut if he shows he's a chnaged man maybe it will impress Spidey and he will grant him the shot ."

SiD " Aaaah who are we kidding , Spidey does not watch these shows . "

Guy " Well you never know . Bodyguard with a side suplex and Triple J still has show us little tonight . "

SiD " Yeah he looks like a one-matcher . "

Guy " Give the man a chance the match just started . Double pump slam by Bodyguard launches Triple J down to the mat hard . "

SiD " Damn , did you see his head snap back . He hits his chin on the mat badly ."

Guy " Yes , and The Bodyguard decides to stomp on it more . BG is out for blood tonight but look out Triple J is not going down that easily he gets off a nut shot tah sends BG falling to the mat . "

SiD " We could not go through a Friday with out the trademark nut shot . "

Guy " Not this one . Triple J up slowly while Bodyguard checks his family jewels . Triple J with a devistating clothesline puts Bodyguard flat on his back ... He goes for the pin BUT NO WAIT !!!! Bodyguard flips him over and 1 , 2 , 3 gets the win !!! "

Winner : The Bodyguard

Other matches Eric " The Crusher " Johnson defeated CSD

Da End !

RMWF

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Page Updated Sat May 19, 2001 6:38am EDT