Wednsday Night Havok 4-18-01 - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives/4_18_01_Wednsday_Night

Guy " Good evening folks and welcome to another action packed episode of Wednsday Night Havok!!!! I am Guy Mandell and here with me as always is SiD 'the former King' Nasty "

SiD " Hey fuck you!!! I am STILL the King asshole!!! "

Guy " This is me ignoring you.. We are here at Madison Square Garden in the city where everything starts and ends.. New York "

SiD " How much did Mayor Guilianni pay you to give such a commercial description???? "

Guy " Shut up.. I love this city and I'm excited about tonights matches "

SiD " Why on Earth would you be??? It's not going to be any better then any other show.. Which translates into pure garbage "

Guy " Oh I beg to differ.. Tonight we have two matches for the King of the Ring finals not mention Darkstalka verses Pig Vomit "

SiD " Yeah you do have a point.. I can't think any RMWF wrestlers i can't stand more than those two.. It'll be nice to see them beat the crap out of each other "

Guy " Well it should be a good match at any rate.. Now however is our first King of the Ring match which is about to begin "

Justinsane -vs- Fraser Newlands
( 'Flower of Scotland' plays over the PA as Fraser Newlands walks down the catwalk headed for the ring. Before he gets there though Justinsane comes running out and punches him in the head from behind. )

SiD " Hahaha!!! "

Guy " Justinsane just snuck Newlands.. I guess he wants to be King of the Ring pretty badly "

SiD " I can't beleive Fraser Newlands even made it to the finals!!! Somethings wrong in the world when The RMWF's worst wrestler of all time somehow has a chance of being King of the Ring.. In my wrestling days it took talent to achieve such a prestigious victory "

Guy " In your wrestling days you just got The King of the Ring crown because you ordered a crown off of e-bay and gave yourself the title "

( SiD grumbles. )

Guy " Well Justinsane flings Newlands against the apron then gives him a running elbow to the face... Newlands grabs onto the ropes to keep from falling down!!!! Justin slides into the ring and throws his arms in the air as the crowd boos him. "

SiD " Hey whats Newlands doing??? I can't see him from this angle "

Guy " Justinsane grabs Fraser by the hair then pulls the Scotsman in with him.. BAM!!! Newlands just smakced Justin in the face with a hammer!!!! "

SiD " What??? Where'd he get a hammer from??? "

Guy " Look!!! It's the ring midget!!! "

SiD " Damn.. We haven't seen him in MONTHS!!!! "

Guy " For those of you watching that are somewhat new to the fed.. The ring midget lives under the rings and he supplies wrestlers with steel chairs, bats, machetes and various other illegal weapons.. We haven't seen the fellow since possible late November "

SiD " Yeah.. I thought he had died "

Guy " Me too.. But since we have a match going on now is not the time for stories of the ring midget.. I'll save that for another time "

SiD " RMWF Forever??? "

Guy " Quite possibly "

SiD " Newlands continues to bluggen Justinsane with his hammer!!! Blood is flying everywhere!!! "

Guy " Gary Coleman, our ref rushes over and starts yelling at Newlands to desist with the hammer.. Newlands looks at Gary then back to Justin then tosses the hammer to the mat and pins his bloody opponent.. 1.. Justinsane isn't even moving.. 3!!! Lokks like we have our winner folks!!!! "

Winner: Fraser Newlands
SiD " Damn.. I didn't know the little squirt had such a violent streak in him.. I guess he finally got tired of being such a friggin loser "

Guy " I guess so.. He surprized the crap out of me as well "

SiD " I know right.. I STILL can't believe it!!! "

Guy " Anyway though now we have our second King of the Ring finals match.. We'll wait a few moments though to allow the paramedics to haul Justinsane out of here and to the nearest hospital.. And for the RMWF janitor's to mop up some of that blood out there "

Farooq -vs- Reload
( 'We Are The Nation' plays over the PA as Farooq walks out to the ring. He enters the ring and waves to the crowd who respond with heart filled cheering. Next, Reload comes out, as he headsdown to the ring a black cat runs across the walkway then disappears into the crowd. )

SiD " How the hell did a cat get in here???

Guy " Beats me but there's the bell.. Reload takes control with a snap-suplex "

SiD " So who exactly is that Reload guy??? "

Guy " He's a friend of Darkstalka and Ashura's "

SiD " Oh.. So then shouldn't he have come out with wolves or some other kind of wild animals??? "

Guy " Maybe that cat was his??? I'm not sure, you're asking the wrong guy "

SiD " If Guy Mandell's the wrong 'Guy' then who's the right one??? Guy Gardner??? "

Guy " You know you never cease to amaze me at how dumb you can be "

SiD " I amaze myself too smetimes "

Guy " Well there's the bell and the match is underway.. The two wrestlers lock-up... Reload with a German suplex.. "

SiD " I liked it better when we were calling him Chico "

Guy " Reload whips Farooq but Farooq reverses it and sends his opponent into the ropes.. Reload rebounds and ducks a clothesline then off the ropes again sending Farooq to the mat with a drop-kick!!!! Reload goes fr an elbow drop but Farooq rolls out of the way before contact can be made.. Hmmmmm.. It looks like Reload hurt himself with that last move "

SiD " How could he have hurt himself doing such a simple move??? "

Guy " It must have been that damn black cat.. Farooq stomps Reload's elbow then drags him to his feet.. He nails him with a short armed clothesline which knocks Reload right back down again!!!! Farooq slaps on a German suplex pin... our ref starts counting.. 1.. 2... 3.. Farooq releases his opponent and standsup as the ref raises his hand "

Winner: Farooq
SiD " That was kind of a cheap win if you ask me "

Guy " It was honest though.. Just goes to show you that it can pay to be superstitous "

SiD " I guess "

Guy " Well regarless, that was exciting .. I can't wait until the next round for King Of The Ring "

SiD " Why??? Who cares??? Everyone knows that I was the original and only REAL King of the Ring .. Thus SiD "THE KING" Nasty "

Guy " Oh give it up already SiD.. Stop living in the past.. You haven't been "king" for quite some time now and even when you were it was just a farse anyway "

SiD " Screw you!!! You know damn well I still am the King "

Guy " Then how was it that the current King of the Ring, Pig Vomit, who's up next I might add.. Whipped your ass on the Year One PPV??? "

SiD " You're never going to stop reminding me about that match are you??? "

Guy " Well no.. That match as with ever other one you've been in you've gotten your ass kicked.. Yet you still brag as if you are still a good wrestler "

SiD " I am "

Guy " Are you listening to what.. Oh forget it .. Okay folks next is our final match for this evening and I'm sure the one that you all paid good money to see .. Darkstalka verses Pig Vomit "

SiD " Shit.. I'd pay not to see this match.. It's two of the RMWF's most annoying wrestlers ever "

Guy " By annoying he means best.. He's just jealous folks "

Darkstalka -vs- Pig Vomit
( The crowd is a buzz with anticipation as 'Blood For You' cuts through the air like a rusty buzzsaw and Pig Vomit emerges at the mouth of the entryway. His Wife and manager the lovely Sharon follows him out as he makes his way down to the ring. His music subsides and the lights abruptly shut off. A howl from a wolf is faintly heard before Limp Bizkit's 'Boiler' comes across the PA. A moment later the lights come back on and to the confusion of everyone, Darkstalka stands center ring breathing heavily. )

Guy " Now there's an entrance "

Triumph " FOR ME TO POOP ON!!!! "

SiD " Oh no.. where'd you com from "

Triumph " Well you see SiD.. When a mommy loves a daddy very much.. "

SiD " Oh shut up "

Triumph " Hehe .. I just came to watch the show.. I'll be quiet now though "

SiD " I hope so "

Guy " There's the bell!!! Both wrestlers however are still just standing there.. Apparently sizing one another up.. Pig Vomit breaks the stillness however with an snapmare to Darkstalka.. Darkstalka recovers immediatly and choke slams his opponent!!!! He goes for an elbow drop but Pig Vomit rolls clear and then bounces off the ropes and clotheslines Darkstalka.. He.. "

SiD " Pig Vomit just bit Darkstalka's face!!! "

Triumph " So what is wrong with that???? "

Guy " Darkstalka knock him off and clutches Pig Vomit by the back of the neck and whips him into the turnbuckle!!!! He grabs Pig Vomit's arm but PV reverses whatever he was going to do into a hammerlock!!! PV tosses Darkstalka over the top rope then dives off the turnbuckle with an elbow drop that connects solidly with opponents's face!!! He picks Darkstalka up by the hair.. Oh!!! Darkstalka uppercuts him.. So hard in fact a stream of blood shoots from Pig Vomit's mouth!!!! Sharon runs up behind Darkstalka and cracks him upside the head with a steel chair!!!! He staggers a bit and Pig Vomit punches him in the chest then a right hook to the face.. and a short-arm clothesline!!!! "

SiD " They've been outside of the ring for a while.. What no count outs??? "

Guy " No.. It goes without saying that a Darkstalka or Pig Vomit match on a Spider-Man show is going to be a Hardcore / No rules match "

SiD " I think they only even have rules when it's conveneint "

Guy " Well there's nothing wrong with that .. Darkstalka whips Pig Vomit.. In our direction!!! "

( Pig Vomit slams into the announcer's table. )

SiD " Goddammit!!! "

Pig Vomit " Hey guys.. Don't mind me "

Guy " Here comes Darkstalka!!! "

SiD " Get away from us!!!! "

Guy " Darkstalka closes in .. Pig Vomit throws a punch but it gets blocked and countered with a choke slam into our table!!!! "

( Pig Vomit grabs one of the announcers big steel microphones. )

SiD " Hey give that back!!! "

mic " Pppphhhhwwww!!! "

Guy " Pig Vomit smashes Darkstalka in the face with our mic!!!! "

Pig Vomit " What now bitch!!! "

Triumph "give me back my mic damn you!!!"

SiD " Duh.. they can't hear you fool "

Triumph " Sonofabitch "

Guy " Darkstalka stumbles backwards, wiping the blood from his eyes.. "

mic " Bbbbhhwww!!!"

Guy " Pig Vomit nails him again with the mic!!!! Darkstalka slams into the apron.. Pig Vomit discards the mic.. "

mic " Click "

Guy " ..and snapmares Stalka!!! He slides back into the ring as Darkstalka slowly gets back to his feet.. Pig Vomit walks over to the ropes and Sharon hands him a bottle of whiskey which he starts pounding .. Darkstalka manages his way back into the apron and is now just standing there glowering at Pig Vomit "

SiD " Darkstalka's gonna fuck him up now "

( Triumph goes over to retreive his mic. )

Triumph " goddamn sonuvabitch taking my mic.. there.. that's better "

Guy " Pig Vomit finishes drinking his whiskey then gestures at Darkstalka in a 'bring it on' fashion "

SiD " Hah! That arrogant bastards gonna get fucked up now!!! "

Triumph " Didn't you just say that??? "

SiD " Shut up "

Guy " Darkstalka charges Pig Vomit who swings his bottle at him.. Darkstalka grabs his arm forcing him to drop the bottle though.. Then an arm breaker!!! "

SiD " Haha "

Guy " Pig Vomit's on his knees cradling his arm and Darkstalka kicks him in the face!!! "

SiD " Field goal!!! Hahaha "

Guy " Darkstalka lifts Pig Vomit and piledrives him.. Sharon comes in and jumps on Darkstalka's back and is punching him in the head!!! Pig Vomit reaches for his empty bottle and climbs to his feet.. Darkstalka pulls Sharon off his back and powerbombs her then turns his attention back to Pig Vomit just in time to see the bottle that smashes him in the face!!!! Before Darkstalka shake the stars out of his head Pig Vomit punches him face!!!! Pig Vomit helps Sharon to her feet and she exits the ring as he returns to Darkstalka and swipes the broken bottle neck at him who although obviously still disoriented manages to kick him several feet backwards!!! "

SiD " This match is getting boring.. It doesn't appear anywere near an end "

Guy " Well they are both two excellent wrestlers "

Triumph " FOR ME TO POOP ON!!!! "

SiD looks at Triumph and sighs.

Triumph " What what??? "

SiD " That line is so stale "

Triumph " Oh bite me "

SiD " The ref just ruled a NO CONTEST!!! The match is over!!!! "

Guy " He did no such thing!!!! And the match is NOT over!!!! "

SiD " Oh come on man.. I'm tired "

Guy " To damn bad SiD.. It's our job.. You know.. What yu get paid to do "

( SiD mutters. )

Guy " You barely even do anything anyway.. You certainly don't work for that paycheck like I do "

Triumph " You tell him Guy "

SiD " Oh fuck this shit.. Fuck both of you.. I'm going home "

( SiD gets up from his seat and walks away. )

Triumph " What a big baby "

Guy " Pig Vomit dives off the turnbuckles and smashes Darkstalka with a double axe handle.. He fails to knock the ABSTRKT member down however.. Darkstalka staggers forward a few steps then lunges back at Pig Vomit which sends him into the turnbuckles.. Darkstalka with a running shoulder block.. But Pig Vomit leaps over him!!!! "

Triumph " Haha!! Like he's playing leap-frog.. Hee hee!!! "

Guy " Darkstalka turns around as Pig Vomit stands center ring grabbing his crotch in a lewd manor.. Darkstalka just shakes his head at him in disgust then charges at him.. He throws a right hook which Pig Vomit blocks and counters with a hammerlock.. Darkstalka shakes him off then whips him into the ropes.. Pig Vomit tries to clothesline him when he springs back from the ropes but Darkstalka ducks his arm.. Pig Vomit on the rebound again.. A crucifix!!! Pig Vomit takes Darkstalka to the matt!!! ...1...2...3!!!! "

Triumph " Holy shit!!! "

Guy " Pig Vomit pinned out Darkstalka!!!! "

Winner: Pig Vomit
Triumph " Damn.. That was a good match!!!! "

Guy " Darkstalka doesn't appear to be taking the loss sportingly as lunges at ref Gary Coleman.. Pig Vomit and Sharon head up the catwalk to the exit.. Darkstalka slides out of the ring and is running after them!!!! He punches Pig Vomit in the back and then gives him a reverse neckbreaker!!!! Hey wait.. Preacher Man comes running out with a baseball bat and smashes Darkstalka in the chest!!! Pig Vomit uppercuts Darkstalka and Preacher Man hits him again with the bat!!!! Darkstalka falls off the ramp!!!! The former preacher throws the bat at him before exiting the arena along with Pig Vomit and Sharon "

Triumph " Damn!!!! That was insane!!!! "

Guy " Yes it was.. I don't think this is going to end here tonight folks!!! Actually I KNOW it won't because Darkstalka will face Pig Vomit and Preacher Man again on our RMWF Forever PPV with his cousin Ashura for the Tag Title "

Triumph "Ooooh man!!! I cannot wait!!! "

Guy " Nor can I Triumph.. That show promises to be a great one on many other levels as well.. For now though that's the only match information I am at liberty to give about it "

Triumph " Man!!! I want to know who else is on the card!!!! "

Guy " Well I'm afraid you'll just have to wait along wit al of the other folks at home til The Prez and Spider-Man reveal the final card!!! "

Triumph " Blast it!!!! "

Guy " So anyway folks we will keep you posted about that RMWF Forever PPV as it's line-up unfurls.. Having nothing else left to say.. I will simply say Goodnight "

RMWF

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Page Updated Thu Jun 28, 2001 10:04pm EDT