Friday Night Slam 4-13-01 - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives/4_13_01_Friday_Night

" Lets skip the bullshit and get right down to business . This is Guy Mandel with SiD " The King " Nasty bringing you YET another addition of Friday Night Slam . Tonight you will see two new men in The RMWF , a tag title match and the return of Holy Shit !!! "

SiD " Who the hell is Unckle Kracker and Juicy Thug and what is a King of the Streets Match ? Who books this crap ? "

Guy " The Prez does . I guess he just wants to try out some new talent . "

SiD " What a waiste of all our times . "

Guy " Take it easy , we didn't even see the match yet !

SiD " Yeah well lets get a move on so we can get this crap over . "

( Backstage , Prez WIL Double paces around ... Neep walks up with his tag belt around his waiste in his wrestling trunks ... )

Neep " Man whats going on all our big names are still M.I.A. ? "

Prez " I let them all go on vacation after the Pay Per View . Bad idea hugh , ratings are getting low ? "

Neep " Yep ? "

Prez " Well at least this gives our new wrestlers a time to show there stuff ."

Neep " But come on Unkle Kraker ? "

Prez " Well we have your tag title match and Holy Shit those are big draws but I have other things on my mind right now . So go prepare for your match . "

Neep " Alright boss wish me luck . "

Prez " Yeah , yeah good luck . Now get out of here ! "

( In the parking lot a black limo , with tinted windows pulls up . The camera zooms in to see who has arrived but right as the door opens the screen turns to static ? )

Holy Shit -vs- The Bricks
Guy " Well this is the long awaited return of Pig Vomit and The Preacher Man taking on new comers The Bricks ."

SiD " And who was waiting for there return ? "

Guy " All those screaming fans . Hey , look at Pig Vomit he looks to have lost wait ."

SiD " Yeah and it looks like even The Preacher Man is surprised . I think these guys only see each other when they wrestle . Cocky bastards . "

Guy " The Bricks are ready to go as Rodney takes to the ring first and Preacher Man starts for Holy Shit . "

SiD " Look at that bastard Pig Vomit hes lighting up a cigarrette ! "

Guy " The bell sounds and The Preacher Man is hit from behind by Rodney as he was talking to Pig Vomit . PV nails Rodney from outside the ring with a Newport still in his mouth and The Preacher Man takes Rodney down with an atomic drop . PM with a swinging neck breaker and an irish whip into the corner . PV grabs a hold of Rodney which spurs Eric Johnson to come into the ring . Johnson nailed by a clothesline by The Preacher as PV puts out his cigarette on Rodney , who screams in pain . "

SiD " Rodney seems pist . "

Guy " I would be also if someone put out there cigarette on me . Rodney gets out of the corner only to turn around and rush Pig Vomit , who is taken down by two big right hands from The Killer . Meanwhile , Preacher Man is stomping on Eric " The Crusher " Johnson in the ring . While the ref tries to restore order in the ring , Rodney , nails PM from behind with a double ax handle . "

SiD " Where is Wild Kat tonight ? We have not seen any titties in a while ."

Guy " Shes a married women those days are over . But she is probably preparirng for her match tommorrow . Back to the action , Pig Vomit has made his way back up to the ring apron and Preacher Man slips away from Rodney's attack long enough to tag him in . Rodeny retreats to his corner and tags in Eric Johnson who surprises Pig Vomit with a flying cross body block and a pin . PV kicks out at one , then delivers a clothesline followed by a ddt . Johnson is down as PV climbs to the top rope . Rodney ducks under the ropes into the ring but is met by a big right hand by The Preacher Man . Pig Vomit moonsaults off the top rope pinning The Crusher . 1 , 2 , 3 and Holy Shit wins !!!! "

Winners : Holy Shit
SiD " Well that was an ass whouping . Holy Shit made short work of The Bricks , good thing they retired three days ago . "

Guy " Yes , now on to the match you called a waste of our time ... "

SiD " The Cracker match , heh who would call themselves a cracker ? "

Guy " A white man with low self esteem I guess . "

SiD " Well , actually.. Since you didn't ask .. The term 'cracker' used by black people for white people really isn't much of an insult. It's origins come from what the slaves called the slave drivers.. You know , the man who'd crack the whip on them ?? Also referred to as .. You guessed it 'The Cracker' "

Guy " Well .. my first instinct would be to say that you are lying but I don't think you are smart enough to come up with such an elaborate definition of that word , or anything else for that matter "

SiD " Thank-you .. I mean wait !! Piss off!!! "

Uncle Kraker -vs- Juicy Thug ( King of the Streets )
( ' You's A Hoe ' hits the PA and Uncle Kraker makes his way out to the street behind the arena where Juicy Thug awaits his arrival .. )

Guy " Well this is . Yet another match with more RMWF new talent in our ever growing fed . "

SiD " Yeah this fed has really been over run by shit . I mean I can't think of one new guy who has impressed me . They all pretty much suck . "

Guy " More kind words from The King . You gotta give people the cahnce to learn and grow ."

SiD " Give me a break , learn and grow . What is this The Girlscouts ? "

Guy " The match is about ready to begin . This is a King of the Streets match .."

SiD " Which means ? "

Guy " If you let me finish . It means that the match is not fought in a ring but on a street corner which we have blocked off from pedestrians but not moving traffic . The winner will be crowned King of the Streets . "

SiD " Who comes up with this garbage ? "

Guy " We are just improvising . We have no idea what a King of the Streets match is , so we just made this all up a minute ago . "

SiD " Sounds like it . "

Guy " Well to the match . Juicy Thug charges Kraker but trps and falls flat on his face . "

SiD " Look at this guy , he can't even stand on his own two feet . How does he expect to win a wrestling match ? "

Guy " Kraker takes advantage of Thugs mishap and slams his boot into the back of his head ."

SiD " He just curb-jawed that fucker ! "

Guy " Kraker picks up Thug and slams him down to the pavement . He trys to crawl away from Kraker but stops as a car comes screeching by . "

SiD " Yeah Juicy Thug has no idea where he is he almost crawled into moving traffic ."

Guy " It looks like he has an idea to me as he just countered that move and flipped Kraker into the street . Then he climbs on to a parked car ! "

( Before he can finish his move another car swerves to miss Uncle Kraker lying in the street and side swipes the car Juicy Thug is standing on .. )

SiD " Oh shit that just launched Juicy Thug twenty feet in the air and sent him crashing through a store window !!! "

Guy " Yes , he does not look to be in the best of shape right now ... "

( Just then a bum walks by lightning a cigarette . He flicks his match and both cars explode ... Juicy Thug stumbles out of the store window all busted and bleeding .. )

SiD " Hey is that bum Arn Anderson ??? "

Guy " Yes , I think it is . Hmmmmm thats strange . Kraker runs throuh the flames to tackle Juicy Thug and get a pin .. Thug is in no shape to continue and it's an easy win for Uncle Kraker !!! "

Winner Uncle Kraker
Guy " Well Uncle Karker can call himself King of the Streets . Even though I don't think he had as much to do with that win as did bad luck for Juicy Thug . "

SiD " Hey the guys just lucky to be alive , right ? "

Guy " Right ! "

( Meanwhile ... Backstage , Mr. T shows up to The Prez's office , dressed in all black ... )

Prez " Did you get any info on anybody ? "

Mr. T " Yes Sir !!! "

Prez " Lets see Lightning is in the hospital . Kid Money , HHH and The Vine are all on vacation . Did you find out where they are ? "

Mr. T " Kid Money has left without a trace sir . HHH is at spring break in Daytona and The Vine is in Europe . "

Prez " Good work but where is Kid Money . We need him back here , he's our fucking champ !"

Mr. T " Your the one who let him go ... "

Prez " SHUT UP !!! "

Mr. T " I pity the fool who yells at Mr. T !!! "

Prez " Yeah well I pity the fool who messes with the man who can cure his cancer . "

( Neep walks in .. )

Neep " I can't believe I work for a man who has the cure for cancer but keeps it hidden from the world just to keep his bodyguard Mr. T in check ..."

Mr. T " Mmmmmmmmmm errrr . "

Prez " Well when Kid Money gets back I'm gonna have a surprise for him . "

Neep " Well we have April's PPV coming up what if he is not back by then ?"

Prez " We strip him of the belt and have a big match for it .. "

Neep " Oh well why I was stopping in , that new guy is here looking for you . "

Prez " Oh well send him in we have things to discuss ... "

( Neep opens the office door and exits with Mr. T . A dark figure walks in and knocks into him almost sending him to the floor .)

Neep " Who the hell is that asshole ? "

Mr. T " You ask to many questions chump . " ( Then he growls his patented growl. )

___________________

SiD " I wonder what is up with this new guy . There seems to be something up with him ."

Guy " Beats the monkey shit out of me ... But we have the rumble to get to ... "

Mini Rumble for spot in King of the Ring
AxX
Deadman
Fraser Newlands
The Warrior Three
Mystery Man ( eeeew )

Guy " Five men , only two spots left in King of the Ring . Who will win lets see ."

SiD " So we get to finally see the new guy but they still have not told us his name . Who is he and wht business does he have here ? ( dum dum )

Guy " Don't know but guess what ? "

SiD " The match is about to start ? "

Guy " Yep , all five men are ready to go as The Warrior Three attacks Deadman before the bell nailing him with a double ax handle from behind . Deadman's partner , AxX , saves him with a spinning heel kick to the back of The Warrior's head . Meanwhile , The Mystery Man is getting it on with Fraser Newlands on the other side of the ring . "

SiD " I would advise not to say getting it on and Fraser Newlands in the same sentence people will definatly get the wrong idea . "

Guy " Fraser Newlands takes down The Mystery Man with a snap suplex . "

SiD " You got to give The Mystery Man a name Mystery Man is too long . How about Chico?"

Guy " Sounds good . The Warrior Three is having his ass handed to him by Deadman and AxX as they whip him into the ropes and nail'em with a double drop kick . The Warrior Three bounce right back into it taking down both me with a clothesline . Chico and Fraser are still going at it as Chico switches from offense with a devistating decapitation slam into the ropes . "

SiD " Again ' going at it ' sounds a little fruity also . How about they are beating the piss out of each other ? "

Guy " Whatever , Deadman has The Warrior Three over his knee , setting him up for a decapitation elbow drop by AxX . "

SiD " Warrior Three should of stuck to managing . "

Guy " Deadman rolls him over and gets the pin as Chico trys to toss Fraser over the top rope . "

SiD " Aaaaah you can win by pin or tossing the man over the ropes . It's pure genius ."

Guy " The Warrior Three is eliminated but Fraser dodges a bullet by sliding back into the ring under the ropes as AxX and Deadman attack Chico from behind . "

SiD " Look Fraser is playing it smart . Everybody thinks he's eliminated but he is not so he is just hanging out letting the other men fight it out ! "

Guy " Which spells trouble for Chico as Capital Carnage double team him . AxX flings him at Deadman who gives him a missle drop kick . Now Deadman with a swinging neck breaker goes for the pin . 1 , 2 NO Chico kicks out and AxX and Deadman can not believe it !! AxX starts to pound on Chico but he gets up off a foot sweep then turns to clothesline Deadman . Deadman almost goes over the top rope but AxX saves him just in time . "

SiD " That was close but I just relized this is perfect for these two guys . There are two spots in the tourny so they just have to team up and beat Chico and there both in ."

Guy " Or so they think Fraser is still in the match don't forget ... AxX now has Chico from behind in a full nelson as Deadman bitch slaps him and pounds his face ... AxX with a full nelson slam followed by a firemans carry by Deadman . They both go for the cover BUT NO ! Fraser comes off the top rope with a ' Flying Scotsman ' rolls up Deadman and 1 , 2 , 3 , eliminates him . AxX can't believe it and starts to argue with the ref . "

SiD " He better turn around before .... "

Guy " Too late Fraser drop kicks him from behind making him flip upside down in the corner . Fraser comes in for a falling head butt to the nuts then flips AxX out over the top turnbuckle to leave only him and Chico .... "

SiD " Well they both are in The King of the Ring but can you believe Fraser Newlands . He is new and improved , this man was once voted the worse wrestler in The RMWF !!! "

Guy " Yeah but the match is not yet over , they still have to figure out who gets the top spot ... Chico is still down from the beating he took from AxX and Deadman so this should be an easy pin for Fraser who right now is climbing the top rope ... He delivers another Flying Scotsmen and hooks the leg for the cover 1 , 2 , 3 !!! HE DID IT FRASER NEWLANDS WINS THE TOP SPOT IN THE TOURNAMENT AND ADVANCES TO GO ON AND MEET JUSTINSANE THIS UPCOMING HAVOK !!!! "

SiD " I would of never believed it if you had told me that Fraser Newlands was gonna win this thing ... Unbelievable , plus this mystery man advances also and we still do not know who he is !!! "

Guy " I'm sure we will find out soon enough SiD ..."

Winners : Spot # 2 to face Farooq : Mystery Man
Spot # 1 to face Justinasane : Fraser Newlands
( The camera switches over to Spider-Man sitting in his penthouse office where he is sitting in his leather hover-recliner drinking a cup of coffee. He is also talking to himself. )

Spider-Man " Well thank's to Darkstalka I have to do a show next Wednsday.. I guess Florida will have to wait another week. Damn. Hmmmm.. JAMAL!!! Get in here!!! "

( Jamal rushes into the room. )

Jamal " Yo what's up boss??? "

Spider-Man " Get me Pig Vomit on the phone.. I don't think he know's he's fighting next week and I'll be damned if I do a match for a no-show "

Jamal " Sho nuff "

Spider-Man " Then you can set up an appointment for Darkstalka to meet with me.. I need to talk to him too "

Jamal " Ahite "

Spider-Man " And get me some more coffee while your at it "

Jamal " Okay Boss "

Spider-Man " Well???? Get moving boy!!! "

( Jamal hurries out of the room and a few minutes later his voice pops up on the intercom. )

Jamal's voice " Pig Vomit on line one chief "

( Spider-Man picks up the phone and the scene switches back to SiD and Guy. )

Show tymer -vs- Diablo and The Bodygaurd
*** Do to time restraints we have to just re-cap the last two matches . It's Saturday I'm at work and have no crew to work for me which means , oh god ready , I have to do work . Instead of play on the computer ... So here it is your last two matches in a nut shell ...***

How does one man beat two men ? Don't know but the new and improved Show Tymer gave a good try at it ... ( Highlights )

Guy " Oh man Showtime just came off the ropes with a double flying cross body , Diablo and The Body Guard have no idea what hit them !!! He goes for the pin , hooking the leg of Diablo but The Body Guard gets to his feet and pulls him off ...

8 minutes into match
SiD " Eeeeeew that was a low blow by Diablo , Showtime is going to be seeing stars for the rest of the match !!!! "

Guy " It looks like that might be the only way Diablo and The Body Guard will be able to stop Show Tymer . If they lose this match they will be the laughing stock of The RMWF . "

SiD " I think they we're already the laughing stock , Guy . "

The Match Rages On ...
Guy " Diablo has Showtime , eeer I mean Show Tymer up over his shoulder as The Body Guard climbs the top rope . Here comes a decapitation by The Body Guard which has Show Tymer on the mat kicking around holding his throat !!! "

SiD " I think he just spit up blood ... "

It Almost Ends ...
Guy " Diablo with the cover and this should do it folks 1 , 2 , 3 thats it they finish off Show Tymer . NO WAIT HE KICKED OUT , THE REF IS GIVING THE SIGNAL FOR ONLY A TWO COUNT . DIABLO CAN'T BELIEVE IT ..."

Conclusion ...
Guy " Well what a match Show Tymer shows he still has it as he goes the distance with Diablo and The Body Guard . As the time limit has expired and we move on to our main event .

SiD " Unbelievable ! "

Winner : No Contest
And Thee Main Event

ABSTRKT -vs- The Bravehearts ( Tag Team Titles )
This was another long match as Ashura started for ABSTRKT and Neep for The Braveherats . Neep wore down the rusty Ashura with a slew of techincal moves but she managed to survive and tag in Darkstalka . Thats when this match turned into an all out street brawl . Fraser eventually had to come in for Neep , who was just to tired to carry the whole match himself . Newlands held his ground for a while but Darkstalks soon got the upper hand by pulling off a power bomb and tagged in Ashura who devistated Fraser . After a few failed tag attempts Ashura got a pin but Neep saved the day by breaking it up . Which just caused chaos as all three men and one woman ended up in the ring . The match ended when the ref got everyone back to there corners but not before Darkstalka stunned Fraser with his finisher . Ashura got the pin and won ABSTRKT the tag titles ...

ABSTRKT winning was not the whole surprise as The Mystery Man from the rumble came out and beat the piss out of Neep with Darkstalka causing him to bleed . ABSTRKT introduced him as Reload , Darkstalka's old trainning buddy and this may mark the end of Neep and ABSTRKT's alliance ?

Winners and New Tag Team Champs : ABSTRKT

RMWF

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Page Updated Sat May 19, 2001 6:38am EDT