Second Tri-Annual Slammy Award Special - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives/2nd_Slammy_Awards

" Welcome folks to our Second Tri-Annual Slammy Award Show .. this is Guy Mandel and SiD Nasty "

SiD " Can we can this thing rolling???? "

Guy " Okay our first category was for the favorite PPV .. Giving this Award will be .. Umm .. Me .. The nominated PPVs were few and consisted of The King of the Ring, Herzog Zwei, Destiny Calls and The Halloween Holocaust .. Lets see .. "

SiD " Oh give me that damn envelope!!! "

( SiD snatches the envelope from Guy and opens it. )

SiD " The favorite PPV was the Halloween one .. Big fucking deal .. Come and get it Spider-Man "

Spider-Man gets up from his seat and webslings to the stage. Guy hands him his Slammy.

Spidey " Damn guys .. I'm touched .. If I wasn't so drunk .. I mean tough I'd cry "

SiD " ...... "

Spidey " Problem SiD???? "

SiD " Ummm .. No sir .. Congragulations!!!!! "

Spidey " That's what I thought .. Bitch "

Guy " MOVING RIGHT ALONG .. We go over to Truimph!!!! "

SiD " Hey what about the Favorite Announcer and Guest Announcer????? "

Spidey " Oh yeah .. That would be you and me kid .. Yoink!!! "

( Spidey pulls out two Awards from the podium and tosses one to SiD. Clive Anderson comes running out. )

SiD " In your face Guy!!!!! This is the second time I've won!!!! Nobody likes you nobody likes you!!!! "

Guy " Whatever "

Clive " Hey I was supposed to present those Awards!!!!! "

Spidey " You'll get over it .. Limey faggot "

( The camera cuts over to Triumph. )

Truimph " Okay okay okay now we move onto the Toughest Stable .. FOR ME TO POOP ON!!!!!! I kid I kid!!!! hehe but seriously folks our nominations are .. well you know who they are so to hell with it all .. the Toughest Stable decided by .. YOU .. the people is .. ABSTRAKT!!!!! "

( Darkstalka, Ravage, Ashura, Azreal and Vulcan Raven walk up to the stage. )

Triumph " Hey welcome back Ashura!!!! Last time I saw you you were getting humped X-Treme Inc. "

( Ashura, Darkstalka and Ravage narrow their eyes at Triumph. )

Triumph " What???? What'd I say???? Oh geez you guys are a piece of work .. All dark and spooky .. But seriously you guys have earned your stable much respect by proving to be truelly great wrestlers .. FOR ME TO POOP ON!!!!! hehehe .. Now take your stinking award before I hump your legs!!!!! Over to you Jimmy Kimmel "

( The camera pans over to Jimmy on the side stage. )

Jimmy " Thanks Triumph .. Now ladies and gentlemen it isn't too often that a single man can hold on to such a near perfect record .. This next Award honors a person who has proved time and time again that they are total losers .. The nominees for The Worst Wrestler are .. Jamal , Fraser Newlands , Lightningrod and Sha-sha "

( Jimmy opens the envelope. )

Jimmy " Well it comes as no surprise .. It's Fraser Newlands!!!!! "

( Fraser Newlands gets out of his seat and walks down to the stage to receive his award. Bandit and Madman taunt him as he walks past them and they throw popcorn at him. )

Jimmy " How's it feel to suck???? "

( Newlands snatches the award from Jimmy Kimmel's hand and heads back to his seat .. Madman He trips down the stairs and the whole audience starts laughing at him. )

Jimmy " What a fucking idiot .. To present our next Award is Spider-Man and Elvira "

( Jimmy leaves the stage and Spidey and Elvira walk up to the podium. )

Spidey " Sup everybody .. Okay now we got the Award for the sexiest bitch here "

Elvira " I still think I should have been nominated "

Spidey " Well it's for wrestlers only dear "

Elvira " Yeah yeah yeah "

Spidey " Anyway though .. the nominations are.. Wildkat , Ashura , Black Widow , Goldust .. Goldust??? Jamal??? What the fuck??? And Areala .. Now personally I think Areala is the finest peice of ass we got .. Mmmm nun pussy .. You know that shit's tight as fuck .. but anyway .. The winner is .. You tell em "

Elvira " The sexiest lady in The RMWF.. Other than myself of course .. Is .. Black Widow!!!! "

( The Black Widow rises from her seat and heads down to the stage. She rolls her eyes as Spidey hands her the Award. )

Black Widow " I guess I'm supposed to feel flattered that you white trash American's find me sexy .. Nevertheless .. I do not "

( She returns walks down the steps and back to her seat. )

Elvira " What a bitch "

Spidey " Yea well .. Time for a break .. When we return we'll the Prez after this word from our sponsers "

( The show cuts to a commercial. )

( this is when your supposed to go take a piss and get another beer .. so it's not meant to be seen and therefore not writin. )

( The show comes back on.)

The Prez " Ok we're back folks .. Before we do the Awards for the Toughest and Most Brutal RMWF Wrestler .. Goldust is going to wrap up some of the other crap .. Since he doesn't really do much here as it is other than sitting on his ass and looking pretty "

( 'Take this job and shove it' by Johnny Paycheck plays as Goldust walks out and up to the Prez. The Prez gives him a peck on the cheek and a slap on the ass. )

Prez " Cute music "

Goldust " Alright they want me to tell you who's show won for favorite, The Prez's, Spidey's or Nick's .. Which the winner was .. And I shit you not .. It was a threeway tie "

The Prez " What???? "

( Spidey webslings out and Nick walk up to the stage. )

Spidey " Man what a gyp!!!! "

Goldust " I know .. I should have won "

Nick " That's bullshit "

Spidey " What???? You don't even do a show!!!!! "

Goldust " But I'm The K'Mish "

Spidey " Okaaaaay "

Goldust " Oh yeah and since the majority chose beer as their favorite food .. That will be the new win prize "

Spidey " I thought the favorite was going to be a backstage refreshment "

Goldust " Not anymore .. They wrestle for beer now "

Spidey " Shit everyone in this fed's a fucking psycho as it is .. Now we're getting em drunk .. I can see it now .. Fuck it "

The Prez " Are you children done???? We have a show to finish you know "

Goldust " ...... "

Spidey " Whatever "

( Spidey shoots a web and slings to the balcony. )

The Prez " Aren't you going to tell me to 'Suck it'?

Goldust " No "

Goldust scoffs at the Prez and tosses his hair over his shoulder then struts backstage.

( The Prez sighs. )

The Prez " Your up now Nick "

Nick " Ok then .. I'll make this fast cause I don't have alot of time .. The nominees For Most Brutal were Darkstalka, Bandit, Black Widow and Kid Money "

( He opens the envelope and pulls out the results. )

Nick " Black Widow "

( The Soviet National Anthem flood the ampetheater as Black Widow comes back to the stage. )

Nick " Chop chop girl .. Time is money "

( She takes the Award and starts to say a few words. )

Black Widow " Am I "

( Nick interupts. )

Nick " I didn't say you could talk .. Now sit your ass back down .. Prez???? "

( Black Widow looks as if she's going to hit him. She doesn't though instead she walks backstage. Nick leaves the stage and goes out the fire exit. )

The Prez " You rule Nick .. Okay now finally here it is .. The Award for the Toughest Wrestler of the RMWF .. Those nominated were .. Ravage, Bandit, The Preacher Man, Black Widow, Neep and Ashura .. This ballet was a three way tie until the second to last day of voting .. But enough talk The toughest RMWF Wrestler Award goes to .. Neep!!!! "

( 'Flowers of Scotland' plays as a misty eyed Neep walks up to accept his Award. )

The Prez " Now where the fuck did I put that Award???? "

( The camera zooms in behind the Prez where Bad Andy is bent over and scratching his ass with the Slammy. )

The Prez " Andy that's not a butt toy that's our Award!!!! "

Bad Andy " Fuck off .. I was done with it any way "

( Andy throws the Slammy at Neep and runs off. Neep picks it up. )

Neep " Damn .. I was honered enough just to be nominated but to actually win .. WOW!!!! "

Prez " Yeah It's something huh? Anyway that wraps up The RMWF's Second Tri-Annual Slammy Awards .. Be good .. Happy thanksgiving and all that other bullshit .. That's it right .. We didn't forget nothin did we????? Ok cool .. just checking .. Goodnight folks "

RMWF

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Page Updated Sat May 19, 2001 6:38am EDT