Friday Night Slam - Written By WIL Double - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives/2_19_01_Friday_Night

*** Friday Night Slam begins with The Preacher Man getting dressed talking to The Warrior Three .... ****

Preacher Man " I hate to say it but this might be the end old friend . I've been here a long time and have seen some great things . More naked chicks then you could shake a stick at .. "

( The Warrior Three shakes his head ... )

PM " I fought in some of the greatest battles known to man and have had a lot of fun but there is not much left to do . I finally hit a low by teaming up with Pig Vomit and after we win the tag belts I have nothing left to acomplish . Maybe , just maybe one more thing after that . "

( The Warrior Three can't believe his ears , he knows what The Preacher Man speaks of but never thought this day would come . He feels his stomach drop and his throat go dry , he is a mad man for even thinking about it . God knows his thoughts and surely will plan for this , The Preacher Man has gone insane !!! )

( Camera switches to Guy and SiD )

SiD " What the hell is going on , what could The Preacher Man be up too ? "

( Dum Dummmmmm )

Guy " Don't know but I'm sure we will find out but I can tell you this The Warrior Three does not seem to agree ... Anyway welcome to another Friday Night Slam , tonight we have updates from week three of The North American Football Association , Pig Vomit's and Nightmare's return plus our second Divison X match . "

SiD " Oh great Pig Vomit is back let the shit and piss roll ..."

Guy " Can you ever watch your mouth , last Friday you almost got us canned ."

SiD " Did not that was Andy's fault , don't blame me ."

Guy " You started it now try and control yourself this week , please ."

SiD " Only for you Guy , because your so cute . "

Guy " Thank you , now on to our first match ."

Insider -vs- Timebomb
Guy " Here we go as Insider , a new comer , takes on Timebomb who killed himself then came back from the dead ... Insider attacks Timebomb early with a flurry of blows then takes him down with a ddt ."

SiD " Insider waisting no time here ."

Guy " Timebomb with a cover and a kick out at two . Timebomb up to his feet trys a drop kick but Insider dodges the blow ."

SiD " You ever try that Insider pizza from Pizza Hut . Oh god yuck that shit is Naaaaaasty."

Guy " Thanks for the great commentary SiD but I don't think he is named after that . Insider with a side headlock bulldogs Timebomb in the corner then he slaps on a leg lcok . Timebomb in a last efort of pain kicks Insider off who then sets him up for a piledriver .
Timebomb back on his feet one more time but looks confused he takes a swipe at the ref who in return punches him in the face , he can't do that !"

SiD " He took a swipe at him first !"

Guy " Insider from behind with a small craddle pin but Timebomb kicks out . Insider geting frusturated now nails Timebomb with a doubl ax handle dropping Timebomb to hisknees . Insider is slapping him now and taunting the crowd . He tosses Timebomb through the ropes tohis manager and destracts the ref as she beats Insider with a chair ."

SiD " Timebomb is just about finished , he should of never came back from the dead ."

Guy " Timebomb crawls back into the ring and is booted in the face by Insider."

SiD " He looked like he was trying to punt a football ."

Guy " Insider with a side suplex then his finisher 1 ,2 ,3 and it's all over . An impressive debut by Insider and a less impressive showing of the vetran Timebomb."

Winner : Insider
( Camera shows The Prez and a man in a lab coat walking down a dimly lit corridor .)

Prez " So everything going ok ? "

Man " Yes , the new test subject is adapting at a remarkable rate . I think this might be the one we've been hoping for . "

Prez " How long until it is ready ? "

Man " Three weeks . "

Prez " Perfect !"

( They reach a door marked xa-14 . They enter the room which is strewn with butchered guys in lab coats and blood and guts everywhere . The operating table is empty . )

Guy " Well this may be the biggest event of the night !!! The most unlikely team up , a return of a superstar and there first tag team match .."

SiD " This is not a good thing , we we're rid of Pig Vomit and now we got to deal with his shit again literally . "

Guy " This just in from Clive Anderson .."

" Hello chaps , we have just recieved footage of Pig Vomit's return . Your not gonna like this."

( Crappy survalence camera fottage is shown of The RMWF offices .. A black and white picture reveals PV standing by the coffee pot as he pulls out his member and starts to urinate into the pot .. Just then Issue's walks up bumps into him and pours himself a nice steaming cup !!! )

SiD " Pbbbbbbbbbbbt oh my god I'm drinking that coffee !!! "

Guy " And you just spit it all over me thank you ! "

SiD " That sick son of a bitc - ... "

Guy " Well folks PV is back lets get on with the action . "
Holy Shit -vs- D.O.A.
( Raaaaaaaaw Raaaaaaaaaw , Pantera plays and out walks Devastator and Ravage from D.O.A..)

( Next , The Preacher Man's motorcycle roars and he comes flying out with Wild Kat on the back ... " Highway to Hell " blasts over the PA and a million screaming girls faint as out comes Pig Vomit with his manager/wife Sharon ... )

Guy " This is it the return of Pig Vomit !!!!!! Sharon is looking good as always what do you think SiD ?"

SiD " What I think ? I think she has had Pig Vomit's seed in her , I would not touch her with Clive Anderson's AIDs ridden dick ."

Guy " You said you we're gonna be good tonight ."

SiD " Then don't ask me stupid questions . "

Guy " Ravage and The Preacher Man start the match . And we must tell you this is a new Ravage not the old one who looked like Darkness from that comic book . Both men lock up and Ravage over powers Preacher Man and tosses him down to mat . PM gets up and is taken back down again Ravage with a scoop slam then tags out . Here comes Devastator into the ring he stomps his feet and waves his hands over his head ."

SiD " It's like he is combing his hair , yeah it's a combing his hair movement ."

Guy " WHAT , would you shut up !!! The Preacher Man punches Devastor in the mouth then rolls to his corner to tag in Pig Vomit .. Pig Vomit jumps up on the turnbuckle and raises his hand in the air .. The crowd goes nuts as he enters the ring ... Arm drag by Devastator takes down PV but he is right back up with a snap mare with authority . PV jumps on Devastator and is beating him in the head while yelling what NOW BITCH ! Wow , this is exciting . "

SiD " What does D.O.A. stand for , Dead on Arrival ?"

Guy " Den of Assassins , would you pay attention we are briefed on all this before the show starts .."

SiD " That must of been while I was taking a dump . "

Guy " Pig Vomit with a atomic drop then a drop kick sending Devastator head first out of the ring . Ravage runs into the ring and nails PV from behind . Meanwhile The Preacher Man jumps off the ring apron and delivers Devastator an elbow drop as Wild Kat kicks him ."

SiD " Hey isn't it about time Pig Vomit got stabbed?? "

Guy " Huh? "

SiD " He usually gets stabbed by.. there it is "

Guy " Ravage stabbed PV with a knife he pulled from his boot!!! "

SiD " What with the plethora of weapons supplied beneath the ring why the hell did he think to bring his own concealed weapon?? "

Guy " He's new "

SiD " He's stupid too "

Guy " He is not!! He's a Harvard graduate "

SiD " Your making that up! "

Guy " Yeah .. but anyway . Pig Vomit is limping around as Ravge delivers a drp kick . Meanwhile , Preacher Man goes under the ring to get a weapon from the ring midget BUT ( Dum dum ) where is he ? "

SiD " Maybe he retired !"

Guy " I hope not I grew to like that little guy . Devastator takes the time to climb back into the ring and D.O.A. double teams Pig Vomit .."

SiD " Preacher Man has to help him what is he doing ?"

Guy " Praying , I guess he is worried about the ring midget ."

SiD " He should be worried about Pig Vomit he is bleeding and D.O.A. smell blood ! "

Guy " Wild Kat is on the ring apron and is taking off her shirt to distract D.O.A. but its not working .."

SiD " Yeah who hasn't seen her naked before big deal !"

Guy " Then why do you have your hand down her pants ?"

SiD " She's a married women now its more exciting . "

Guy " Pig Vomit just took down both men with a flying cross body and pins Ravage . Devastator goes to break it up but Preacher Man grabs him by the leg and pulls him out of the ring before he can do it . 1 , 2 , 3 Holy Shit wins ! "

Winner : Holy Shit
Guy " Preacher Man and Sharon help Pig Vomit out of the ring as D.O.A. try to figure out what happned . "

Silver Bellz -vs- The Gold Ranger
( VIA Sattelite , to The Angel Grove Recreation Center w/ Bulk and Skull )

Bulk " Hello RMWF , this is Bulk and Skull bringing you Silver Bellz -vs- The Gold Ranger , in your second Division X match ever "

Skull " In your second Division X match ever "

Bulk " Stop it pipsqueek I'm running this thing "

Skull " Awwwww man !"

Bulk " The Gold Ranger is here but we are still awaiting the arrival og Silver Bellz , lets talk a little about the match while we wait .. On second thought.. where's Ernie with those cheesburgers??? "

Skull " Hey Bulky.. Ya ever notice how Ernie's never around when the Gold Ranger is? You dont think.. "

Bulk " I've got it!!! I just figured out the identity of The Gold Ranger!!! It's Ernie!!! "

Skull " Is there an echo in here??? "

Ernie " Hey guys heres those cheesburgers you ordered fresh off the grill "

Bulk " Doh! "

Skull " Hehe "

Bulk " Hey look up in the sky it's a bird ..."

Skull " No , It's a plane !!"

Bulk and Skull " NO IT'S A PIECE OF POOP .. WATCH OUT !!!"

( A silver bolt fly's through the sky and Silver Bellz arrives as shit rains down on Bulk , Skull and The Gold Ranger ... )

Gold Ranger " Ahhhhh I think this is some kind of paralyizing goo !"

( sniff , sniff )

GR " No , it's just poop ! "

Bulk " Silver Bellz swoops in and starts tossing hot dogs at The Gold Ranger , who is doing every thing in his power to block the blows . Silver Bells reaches into his pants and pulls out a ten foot hot dog out of his butt then proceeds to beat The Gold Ranger with it . "

Skull " Hey Bulky how ya suppose he had that down there huh? The man's only 5 foot tall "

Bulk " Because lunkhead Silver Bellz is no man "

Skull " Ummm .. ok .. That explains it "

Gold Ranger " Where did he g-e-t t-h-a-t h-o-t d-o-g f-r-o-m !"

( Silver Bellz continues to beat The Gold Ranger until he is down to one knee then he turns his body to liquid and dissapears into The Gold Rangers ass ... The Gold Ranger twists and grunts . But if we could see under his mask we would see a slight smile .)

Gold Ranger " What is this mad man doing , it feels great but I must get him out before he poisons me !"

( The Gold Ranger walks bow legged over to the crowd and falls on all fours . )

Skull " Hey Bulky .. Whatcha think he's tryin ta do? "

( He takes one last grunt and exspels the silver goo all over the crowd out from his ass . )

Bulk and Skull " Eeeeeeeeeeew . "

Skull " My Mommy told me never to push that hard or you would get a hemmoroid ."

( The liquid crawls up the wall and goes out the window as The Gold Ranger and the crowd chase it . )

GR " Show yourself coward you will not escape The Gold Ranger that easily! "

( Outside of the recreation center The Gold Ranger is ambushed by Silver Bellz with another hot dog attack . Then Silver Bellz cocks his head and his Homo-sense tingles . He has the acute power to detect homosexual and lesbian sex millions of miles away . Just then an out of breath Bulk and Skull come out with there hair mussed up and shirts on backwards . )

Skull " What'd we miss what'd we miss? "

Bulk " Silver Bellz has The Gold Ranger down ! "

Skull " Could this be the end of The Gold Ranger? "

Bulk " Silver Bellz continues his hotdog assault on the Power Ranger... GR is crawling away .. He's drawing his staff thingy "

Gold Ranger " I need Mega Zord Power! I call apon the Power of King Midas!!! "

( The Gold Ranger holds his Power staff into the air and it emits bolts of Gold electricity. The clouds over head grow dark and stormy before parting to reveal the decending Pira Midas Zord. Silver Bellz appears intimidated as it kicks up clouds of dust as it lands, it's presents seems to give The Gold Ranger a second wind. )

Gold Ranger " Hiya! "

( The Gold Ranger somersaults dozens of yards into the sky and somehow lands inside the enormous Zord- That's basically a giant robot for those of you Power Ranger illiterate. )

Silver Bellz " It'll take more than that to defeat me bitch!! "

Gold Ranger " That's what you think! "

( Panels on the Zord's shoulders and stomach open up and bombs and missles rain from them down upon Silver Bellz. SB twitches and writhes before exploding into a million peices. )

Winner : The Gold Ranger
Silver Bellz voice thunders thru the air " You haven't seen the last of me Power Puff!!! "

Gold Ranger " I'll be ready "

Bulk " Amazing! "

Skull " Huh? Oh yeah right amazing "

Bulk " Idiot "

Skull " I guess that wraps up this battle then huh Bulky? "

Bulk " Duh .. That wraps up this, the second Division X match up and the first RMWF Angelgrove match "

Skull " Over to you siD & Guy "

Bulk " Hey that was my line! "

( Back to Guy and SiD at the arena !!!! )

Guy " Well that was exciting , Division X is sure heating up . I wonder who is gonna get The Infinity Gauntlet ? "

SiD " Don't know don't care lets run that footage from the beginning of the show and get on with the last match so I can get out of here ."

Guy " Here is some footage that was suppose to be ran at the beginning of the show but we did not have time !"

Spider-Man " Diane , Last night I had a dream . There was the hulking siloutte of a man in an unknown location . He was talking a mixed up non-language yet I understood him clearly . He was talking of the end of all things and that I was the cause . Before I could get him to elborate he was gone and I found myself in another place . A large room with black and white flooring , walled with red curtains . There was a young blonde woman in a blue velvet dress , standing before me hoping on one foot . Holding one upside down white rose . What does it all mean ? Only time will tell . "

SiD " What the helll was that crap ? "

Guy " Spider-Man talking about his dream , hmm wonder what it all means ? "

Nightmare -vs- Neep ( Non-Title )
Guy " This is it the big main event !!!"

( Neep comes out carrying his Scottish flag as he is climbing into the ring the crowd urupts as Nightmare's music hits the PA !!! )

Guy " Here he is , the return of Nightmare !!!!"

SiD " What's so big about this guy ?"

Guy " He's just popular , thats all .. The match begins with a running clothesline by Nightmare . He picks Neep up for an airplane spin and lets him go flying . Neep gets up and takes Nightmare down with an arm drag then puts him in an arm stretch . Asian spike by Neep followed by a cover that Nightmare kicks out of . Both men back up to there feet starring each other down , and Neep moves in for a bear hug then body slam . Nightmare off the ropes takes down Neep with a cross body to the legs and starts pounding on his face . Neep trying to block the blows just gets pummeled but a knee to the groin ends Nightmare's assault !"

SiD " Thats low real low ..."

Guy " Neep goes after Nightmare but misses with an elbow drop . Nightmare climbs out of the ring to recover from that balls shot he just received ... Neep is up and taunting Nightmare who climbs back into the ring and is met with a drop kick by Neep . Neep with a power bomb then comes off the ropes for a big leg drop . Now Neep locks Nightmare in a sleeper hold in the center of the ring ."

SiD " Nightmare is gonna have to figure out how to escpape this one on his own , no rope break here folks ."

Guy " Nightmare trying to fight his way out of the sleeper elbows Neep in the mid-section but Neep holds on . The ref checks to see if Nightmare is still holding on as he gives Neep another shot to the ribs ."

SiD " He better get out of that hold or it's sleepy time for Nightmare !"

Guy " One more shot by Nightmare breaks the hold and he turns on Neep to land an atomic drop sending Neep flying into the turnbuckle . Nightmare beats Neep's face into the corner before setting him up on the top rope for a suplex off it .. Neep holds his back in pain as Nightmare kicks him in the face . Now Nightmare with a snap mare then a cover which Neep kicks out of . "

SiD " Fraser Newlands is coming down to the ring ! Guess he wants to help his boyriend ."

Guy " Stop it they are not gay and you know it . Even if they are there is nothing wrong with being gay in the first place . Neep trys to punh his way out of this one but Nightmare keeps the assault up with a shoulder breaker as The Alliance makes there way down to the ring ."

SiD " Looks like the flowers of Scotland our a little out numbered ."

Guy " Yes , I would say N.W.O. needs a membership drive if there gonna have a fued with The Alliance . Farrooq , Iceman and Killer Priest all stare down Farser who picks up a chair to keep them at bay . Meanwhile in the ring Nightmare just missed an elbow drop and Neep power slams him then slaps on a figure four ... Nightmare is in pain but Iceman grabs Neep from outside of the ring and pulls him off . Fraser nails Iceman with the chair from behind then is rushed by the rest of The Alliance . Fraser is being pummled and the ref trys to break it up before he is killed .. Meanwhile , Priest tosses a chair to Nightmare who nails Neep three times before flinging it out of the ring and getting the cover . The ref turns around and begins the count 1 ,2 ,3 !!! "

Winner : Nightmare

RMWF

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Page Updated Sat May 19, 2001 6:38am EDT