Wednsday Night Havok 2-14-01 - St. Valentine's Day Special - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives/2_14_01_Wednsday_Night

( We see Koko Beware talking with Spider-Man in the penthouse office. Koko is holding a folder. )

Koko " Now let me get this straight .. This file has all of Ashura's moves and counter moves, weaknesses and all that right? "

Spidey " Precisely "

Koko " And if I apply this knowledge I can defeat her easily??? "

Spidey " Wow .. You catch on quick "

Koko " Well .. Ummm .. Why are you helping me like this??? "

Spidey " Let's just say i have my reasons "

( The camera cuts to a jam packed arena and zooms to the announcers booth where SiD Nasty and Guy Mandell sit. )

" This is Guy Mandell coming to you live from Tromaville, NJ .. For the return of probably the RMWF's best show to date.. Havok!!!! "

SiD " Blah "

Guy " Ahhhhh love is in the air tonite folks for the return of Havok on this Valentine's Day "

SiD " Oh shut up "

Guy " Tonight you can expect the usual from a Spider-Man show... With the addition of Preacher Man and Wild Kat exchanging vows of holy matrimony "

SiD " Awww... How fucking romantic .. "

Guy " What no Valentine Sid??? "

SiD " Can we just start the goddamn show already???? "

Guy " I suppose "

Fightin Falcon -vs- Timebomb
( Fightin Falcon emerges at the mouth of the catwalk and reseave no reaction from the crowd as he makes his way to the ring. Next out is Timebomb who runs out with his hands in the air. The crowd boos him. )

SiD " Why did that clown comeback???? "

Guy " Because the RMWF is so great no one can stay away for too long???? "

SiD " Give me a break "

Guy " Well we got Spider-Man, the promoter former known as Nick, Pig Vomit, Darkstalka, Nightmare & maybe someone else also returning "

SiD " We were doing so well having got rid of all those dickheads.. Now they're back & shit's gonna get ridiculous again "

Guy " Well anyway theres the bell and the two men lock-up .. Timebomb quickly takes control of the match as he gorilla presses Fighting Falcon and.. "

SiD " Its FIGHTIN.... No G "

Guy " Well excuse me .. Anyway Falcon back on his feet uppercuts Timebomb then dropkicks him.. He attempts a figure four leglock but Timebomb kicks him in the face .. FF staggers back into the ropes where Timebomb ties him up and starts pummeling him!!!!! "
Timebomb drags FF by the foot center ring and gives him an elbow drop but FF rolls clear!!!! FF kicks him in the head then slaps on a reverse hammerlock!!!!! He whips Timebomb into the ropes and nails him with a clothesline on his return!!!! "

SiD " Looks like Fightin Falcon got his second wind .. Well .. First wind .. Whatever "

Guy " If he keeps this up he may just stand a chance at winning this match "

SiD " Timebomb with a drop kick but Fightin Falcon evades it .. He snapmares Timebomb and goes for a pin... The ref starts counting.. 1..2... A Kickout!!! Damn.. Finish this match already!!!! "

Guy snickers " Why you got a date or something??? "

SiD " Go to hell "

Guy " Sucks being alone doesnt it SiD???? "

SiD " ............ "

( SiD pulls out a pint of whiskey and starts drinking. )

Guy " Fightin Falcon off the turnbuckles with a flying elbow smash knocks the crap out of Timebomb!!!!! He goes for the pin again... 1...2...3!!!!! Fightin Falcon wins it!!!! "

Winner : Fightin Falcon
( The camera shows the Klaw exiting Spider-Man's office via the elevator with a huge smile on his face. )

The Klaw " Ha! Im gonna be the new World Champ!!!! "

( The elevator reaches the lobby and he leaves the building. He crosses the parking lot and gets into his car. The camera pans back to the building where Armz is lurking behind a column talking on a cell phone. )

Armz " Its done boss "

( Suddenly the Klaw's car explodes, raining flaming metal fragments all across the lot. )

Koko Beware -vs- Ashura
( 'The Bird' by The Time hits the PA and out comes Koko Beware dancing his way down to the ring waving his parrot Frankie on his arm. )

SiD " Oh God!!!! I thought that guy was dead "

Guy " Nope "

SiD " Just his career huh??? "

Guy " Dont you remember him wrestling the other week "

SiD " Not really .. You think i pay attention to these fuckin shows???? "

( Koko sets Frankie on the turnbuckle as 'Breaking Things' by Limp Bizkit comes over the PA marking the entrance of Ashura. Ashura walks out and her puma Ares follows. )

SiD " Hey Ares is going after Frankie!!!!! Haha!!! Fuckin stupid parrot.. Get em Ares!!!!! "

Guy " You're terrible "

SiD " Damn!!!! Frankie's getting away "

Guy " Unfortunatly Koko isn't as Ashura nails him with a reverse neckbreaker followed by spinning leg drop!!!!! Koko gets back to his feet but is drop kicked back down to the mat!!!! He really isnt fairing too well to-nite folks "

SiD " You sound as if you are shocked "

Guy " What??? Koko's a good wrestler.. He beat Iceman a few weeks back "

SiD " He sucks and if you ask me Iceman got skrewed in that match anyway.. If his parrot didnt amuse the Prez so much Iceman wouldve slaughtered him "

Guy " Givin it takes little to amuse the Prez.. but he is a fair man and wouldnt sway a ruling due to a gimmick "

SiD " Then explain Goldust.. Pig Vomit... "

Guy " Oh just drop it we have a match going on "

SiD " Yea thats what i thought "

Guy " Koko starts circling the ring... what is he doing??? He's off the ropes at Ashura... He goes for a Jamacian takedown but Ashura sidesteps him and punches him in the back of the neck!!!!! "

SiD " Ashura slaps on her Demiser finisher.. Koko reverses it!!!! Theres the count..Oh my god!!! Koko Beware defeated Ashura!!!!! Unbeleivable!!!! "

Winner: Koko Beware
( The camera shows Koko Beware walking through the parking deck shortly after his match. )

Koko " Yeah Frankie we done showed em we still got the suss baby!!!! "

Frankie " Squawk yeah we did yeah we did squawk!!!! "

( He arrives at his car to find Pig Vomit trying to break into it with a crowbar. )

Koko " Yo man thats my car!!! "

Pig Vomit " Yeah??? And??? "

Koko " .......... "

( Pig Vomit leans against the car and folds his arms across his chest. )

Koko " Awww man... Whatchoo want with poor old Koko anyway??? Koko never hurt no one "

Pig Vomit " Well .. Right about now im wanting NOT to fucking split your skull & shit with this crowbar.... But considering that i never get what i want.... "

( He swipes the crowbar at Koko but Koko jumps out of harms reach. )

Koko " Ahhh!!!! Feet don't fail me now!!!!!! " He says before fleeing for his life.

( Pig Vomit chases after Koko and soon catches up to him and whacks him upside the head with the crowbar sending the bird man to the concrete. )

Pig Vomit " So much for your fucking comeback old timer "

Koko gasps " FraaaNkiE .. fRRrAnkiE... Tell tHE worLD... aBOut KoKO... TeLL eM.. "

( Koko is then silenced forever when Pig Vomit buries the crowbar in the mans head. )

Frankie " Squawk NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "

Neep -vs- Rebel
( World Title )
( 'Flowers Of Scotland' hits the PA as Neep enters the arena and makes his way down to the ring. The lights cut out and explosions erupt before the catwalk and Rebel emerges from the smoke as _______ tears thru the PA and a clip of him winning the Title match plays on the Titantron. He he struts down to the ring, removes his Belt and hands it to ring girl Jenna Jamison before entering the ring. )

Guy " Theres the bell... the two wrestlers lockup.. Neep takes the upperhand with a Scotish neckbreaker that send Rebel down hard.. Rebel pounces back to his feetand uppercuts Neep.. Neep staggers back a little and Rebel off the ropes nails him with a cross body whatever you call it "

SiD " Its good to see you know how to do your job "

Guy " Cut me some slack man i had a long nite "

SiD " What was there a Power Puff Girls marathon or something "

Guy " Whatever... Neep off the turnbuckle sends Rebel down with a flying double axe-handle... Rebel sweeps his feet and stradles the Scotsman!!!! He starts pummeling Neep!!!! Neep grabs Rebel's throat then slams his knee into his groin!!!! Rebel's rolling around in agony as Neep gets back up and grabs Rebel by his ear and starts dragging him to the corner!!!! He picks up the World Champ and tosses him outside of the ring like a sack of potatoes!!!! "

SiD " Hey there's Iceman .. Where the helled he come from??? "

Guy " It looks like he's hitting on Jenna.. She just gave him the World Belt!!!!!! "

SiD " What the hell???? Her ass better get fired over this "

Guy " Iceman's putting on the belt and admiring himself with a pocket mirror...Rebel gives Neep a driving elbow followed by a boot to the face!!!! Hey wait a minute.. Iceman just gave the Belt back to Jenna "

SiD " What the hell was that all about???? "

Guy " Weird .. Rebel slams Neeps face into the apron then climbs back into the ring.. Neep starts climbing back in as well and Rebel helps him in via a Sumatran reverse suplex!!!! Neep is looking too well right about now.. Rebel goes for the pin as the ref begins the count..1..2.. Armz slides into the ring and nails Rebel from behind with a lead pipe!!!!! Blood starts flowing from his head and Rebel falls over... He's out cold!!!! "

SiD " That was really cheap .. The ref enters the ring and raises Neep's hand while Armz kicks away at the unconcious Rebel!!!!! "

Winner and New World Champion : Neep
Guy " Ring girl Jenna Jamison now awarding Grant " Neep" Turner with the New World Heavy Weight Belt "

SiD " I'm surprised Neep never held it before.. Not that he's good or anything "

( Jamal walks over to SiD. )

Jamal " Yo muh-fucka some ho done aksed me ta gives ya dis shit "

Guy " Ohhhh SiD got a Valentine "

( SiD opens it and gets a giddy smile on his face. )

SiD " Damn .. Later "

( SiD leaves. )

Guy " Oh hell "

( The camera switches to an enormous church filled with all of the RMWF's wrestlers, past and present. Standing before the alter is the Prez, acting as minister. Standing before him is the Preacher Man who is wearing a sharp looking tuxedo and a black do-rag. The Warrior Three is the best man. Goldust is the bride's maid. Neep is seated behind the back organ in which he begins playing the wedding march upon and the congrigation all rise. Spider-Man appears through the church's rear doors, escorting the Wild Kat who is adorn in an elaborate Victorian white laced wedding gown, perhaps the most lovely ever seen you think to yourself. Gary Coleman follows behind her, for he is the ring barer. They reach the alter and the Prez begins to speak. )

Prez " We are brought here today to bear witness to the love of the Preacher Man and Wild Kat through the means of the holy sanctity of marriage. When the Preacher Man first asked me to perform this cerimony I admit i was set aback a bit. I soon realised however what an honor it truelly is.. But without any further adue, lets get this thing started shall we?? "

( Everyone seats them self and the Preacher Man and Wild Kat exchange nervous yet loving smiles at one another. )

Prez " Dearly beloved we are gathered here this Saint Valentine's Day to take part in the union of these two people. Now Preacher Man do you promise to love and to charish The Wild Kat.. to honor and obey her.. in sickness and in health.. for richer and for poorer.. as long as you both shall live??? "

Preacher Man " I do "

Prez " Wild Kat do you promise to love and to charish Preacher Man ... honor and OBEY him.. in sickness and in health.. for richer and for poorer.. as long as you both shall live??? "

Wild Kat, holding back tears " I do "

Prez " Gary.. the ring "

( Gary Coleman hands the ring to the Preacher Man in which he slides onto the finger of Wild Kat. )

Prez " Now if anyone here should protest the union of this couple speak now or foreverhold your peace "

( The camera pans the church, all the wrestlers have looks of contimplation on theirfaces. Nothin happens.. long story short the got married & rode off on PM's bike that had cans tied to it and everyone cryed.)
( Meanwhile in a dimly lit, primitively looking operating room / laboratory Stuart Fraser lies strapped to an operating table with a masked doctor and nurse hovering over him. )

Stuart " Ahk!!! Let me goo you motherfuckers!!!!! "

Doctor " Im afraid its much too late for that .. The whole reason you're here in the first place is because of your inadiquate wrestling skills.. In fact, you should be grateful to be given this glorious opportunity.. Especially considering the only other alternative was death .. Now hold still.. This'll only hurt for a moment "

( The nurse injects Fraser with a large syringe filled with an eerie green glowing liquid. He starts convulsing momentarily before falling unconcious. The doctor picks up a surreal looking bonesaw from the table, starts it and begins cutting into his pateint. The camera fades to black. )

RMWF

SpiderMan7788@aol.com

Visitors: 01441

Page Updated Sat May 19, 2001 6:38am EDT