Written By The Prez - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives/1_12_01_Friday_Night

( Outside a foot of dirty snow covers the ground .. It has been plowed to make easier acess for the cars on the busy streets ... But one man struggles through it as it is now knee deep .. That annoying New Years song rattles in his head , as he must make it before everything turns black .. )

" This is Guy Mandel with the first Friday Night Slam of the year 2001 and what a card we have for you !!! Tonight we will see Ashura -vs- Armz two big heavyweights battling it out in a non-title match ... "

SiD " Yeah !!! "

Guy " More answers to the Costa Nostra problems for The Prez .."

SiD " Yeah !!! "

Guy " And I am sure a lot more !!! "

SiD " OH YEAH !!! "

Guy " This match was made for SiD , Wild kat -vs- Lita first one naked loses !!! "

SiD " I hope it is Lita who loses we have seen Wild Kat naked too much ... If that is possible .. "

Wild Kat -vs- Lita ( First one naked loses )
Guy " The Preacher Man drives Wild Kat to the ring on his motorcycle and pushes her off , and next out comes Lita .. "

SiD " Dugh , look at Wild Kat she is dressed so skimpy and Lita has a lot of clothes on . Its almost like Kat wants to lose this match ... Shes a slut born and bred .. "

Guy " The hair pulling starts as the cat fight begins ..."

SiD " Yeah whip that hair around ladies , whip it !!!! This is so exiting I don't know what to do with myself ...."

Guy " Don't do nothing to yourself and don't get nothing on me either you pervert ... Wild Kat with a snapmare by Lita's hair is trying to rip her shirt off and here it comes ... Lita is laughing because she has a tank top on undernieth it and she rips off Kat's shirt ..."

SiD " It's boobie time !!!! "

Guy " Both women are exchanging blows topless and Kat gets the upper hand knocking Lita down ... She tries for the pants but Lita kicks her off ...Lita with a tittie twister sends Kat screaming out of the ring ..."

SiD " That was some purple nurple Lita gave Kat there !!!!"

Guy " Lita gives chase outside of the ring but is caught by a topless dropkick by Kat and now she reaches under the ring to get a pair of scissors ..."

SiD " Wow , the midget under the ring has a lot of useful stuff under there !!!"

Guy " Kat cuts off Lita's pants and now she is down to a tank top and panties ... "

SiD " I can't take it what nice white panties she has , come on get her top off for me Kat ."

Guy " Kat sends Lita into the ring stairs and comes up behind her to grant SiD's wish by ripping off her shirt ..."

SiD " OOOOOOOOOH , Ahhhhhh yeah baby are those implants ??? Oh god I can't hold off any longer .."

Guy " Oh no you pervert watch where you point that thing !!! Kat is on the verge of victory here with only a pair of panties to go ... Lita takes off backstage holding her breast but Kat gives chase ... Remember folks there is no count out the only way to win is to get your opponent butt naked !!!! "

SiD " Lita is back stage as Kat chases her .."

Guy " Litas grabs a towel to cover her heaving breasts but Kat comes up behind her and rips it off .... They wrestle on the ground as The RMWF back stage crew cheers them on .. Lita gets up and kicks one of them in the balls as Kat grabs a hand full of hair and yanks her back down ..."

SiD " This is the best match ever in The RMWF by far , I love this place !!!"

Guy " Wild kat trying for the panties but Lita kicks her off and makes a run for her dressing room .... She does'nt get far as Wild Kat gets her with a double ax handle from behind , then ...

SiD " OH YES !!!! The panties come off , look at that oh my god !!!"

Guy " Wild Kat wins as Lita scampers into her locker room , NAKED !!!"

SiD " Hurry up camera man catch up with her , we did not get a good look .."

Winner :
( The man makes his way through the snow and bright lights , stumbling over the icy mounds careul not to fall .. He squints down hard as the blackness is coming , he must hurry ... )

Guy " Well that was an exciting match ..."

SiD " One of the best we have ever had ..."

Guy " The next match was scheduled for Tough Tony , but as The RMWF News Crew reported , he was gunned down almost a week ago ..."

SiD " The tough life of being a gangster ..."

Guy " So Scarface is taking his place , against the new comer Cactus Jackson .. "

Cactus Jackson -vs- Scarface
( Cactus Jackson limps down to the ring , followed by Scarface ... )

SiD " Great another Mick Foley want to be -vs- a dead mobster ... "

Guy " Both men lock up and Scarface sends Cactus down with an arm flip , Cactus is back up to his feet and Scarface nails him with a big round house ... Cactus stumbles back and Scarface keeps up his attack only to be taken down by a russian leg sweep ... Jackson right on top of Capone with a big splash ..."

SiD " This match is just not exciting after the last one .."

Guy " Would you stop your bitching , some people actually want to see some wrestling not just breast ... "

SiD " Well they are gay then ... Butt pirates I tell you , I'm sick of swetty men beating the crap out of each other .."

Guy " Anyway Jackson with a power bomb then a cover but Scarface kicks out early and gets a thumb into Jackson's eye which sends him into the corner blinded for a second ... Scarfcae with a drop kick sends Jackson into the turnbuckle , then gives his face a couple of shots into corner ... Capone lets up and Cactus falls to the mat .. Capone is going to the top rope but may have taken a little too much time as Cactus moves out of the way of a flying elbow ... Cactus Jackson with a press slam sends Capone over the ropes and out on to the floor ... The ref starts the count as Jackson pumps up the crowd .. Scarface crawls back up to the ring apron and is helped in by a suplex by Jackson ... Jackson continues his attack with a boot to the face then sends Capone into the ropes with a fist full of hair ... A devistating clothesline almost takes Scarface's head off as he does not seem to have his mind on this match ...."

SiD " Maybe he is thinking about his next hit on The Prez , heh, hope he gets the crack head ..."

Guy " You know thats the guy who signs your checks ..."

SiD " Yeah , yeah whatever ..."

Guy " Jackson with a double pump slam then a cover but Scarface gets his arm up at a two and a half count ... Jackson looks puzzled to why he has not been able to finish off Scarface yet , but continues his attack ... His efforts are cut short as Scarface gets a boot up to stop him .. Scarface slowley to his feet grabs a hand full of hair then completes a snap mare ... Scarface has the upper han now ..."

SiD " HEY , BEER GUY OVER HERE !!!! "

Guy " OUCH , would you turn your mic off before yelling in it , friggen moron !!! "

SiD " Sorry ... "

Guy " Back to the match , uuuuum , Scarface has Jackson in a head lcok but Jackson whips him off into the roes and catches him for a side slam .. He gives a singnal to the crowd and nails Scarface with a double arm DDT , his finisher ... The cover 1..2..3 and it is all over !!! "

Winner : Cactus Jackson
Guy " Well the new guy pulls off the win in his first match in The RMWF .. "

SiD " Good it is time for the big main event then ..."

Guy " Not quite yet , lets look in on our mystery man trying to get to The RMWF .. "

( Finally , he has made it .. The man stumbles to The RMWF office's and rings the bell just before passing out in the deep snow bank ... CSD answers the door in his Spider-Man boxer shorts and finds the poor soul lying in the snow with a knife in his back ... Scrawled in the snow with blood is the letters The KLA...CSD shrugs his shoulders and picks up the morning paper before going back into the office ... )

Ashura -vs- Armz BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT
( Fire works explode as the arena sounds like one big short circuit and Ashura makes her way down to the ring .... Followed by Armz and his entrance ... )

SiD " We have not seen a match up like this in a long time , two titans battling it out ... With the chance to see some boobies ... "

Guy " Do you have to mention boobies everytime Ashura wrestles , its gettin really old ???"

SiD " Just shut up I'm watching this ..."

Guy " The match begins and already the ref is down as Armz flings Ashura into him .."

SiD " Thats gonna spell trouble ..."

Guy " Ashura's up and hand springs across the ring only to be caught by Armz and nailed by a back breaker .. Armz with a side slam takes Ashura down hard to the mat again as the first female RMWF wrestler is having trouble with the new kid in town ... Ashura retreats outside of the ring only to have Armz follow ... As Armz rounds the corner of the ring Ashura meets him with a kick to the midsection doubling him over .. DDT by Ashura onto the hard cold floor ... Now she has a chair ... "

SiD " The ref is still down so this is a no rules for a little while anyway .."

Guy " Oh and Ashura cracks the chair over Armz who is down on one knee grimicing in pain .. Armz tries to come back with a shot to Ashura's stomach but is only met with another chair shot ... Ashura now with a hand full of hair sends Armz into the steal barricade then follows up with a suplex into the crowd ... She stands up on the barricade with her hands in the air then flips off it for a moonsault which misses as Armz is pulled out of the way by a fan ..."

SiD " I think that was his mother who saved him ..."

Guy " Ashura gets back up to her feet and is molested by a fan who she launches 13 rows back .. Armz has a fans camera which is busted over Ashura's head cutting her open ..."

SiD " Thats what you get for sneaking in a camera .. People let me remind you it is a crime to take and sell pictures at these events ... The penality is death by butt sex from Goldust ."

Guy " The ref is up and starting the count as Armz rushes back into the ring ... Ashura is fightning her way through the crowd and makes it back in by the eight count . Armz with a flying head scissors flips Ashura into the center of the ring , then he goes for a cover which Ashura kicks out of ... Armz stops her come back short by sticking his thumb into her cut then giving her a big round house ..."

SiD " Ewwww theres a couple of holes I'd like to stick my finger in Ashura but not that one."

Guy " Your a sick bastard !!! "

SiD " Yeah and I love it , I guess its not that bad its just like doing it at that time of ...."

Guy " DON'T EVEN SAY IT , OH GOD YUCK !!!! Ashura runs off the ropes and pulls off another hand spring this time catching Armz with a moonsault back flip ... They crash to the mat and she hooks the leg for only a two count .. Armz shakes his head as he has not had a win in The RMWF yet and wants this one bad ... Ashura wipes the blood out of her eyes and both wrestlers stare each other down .. They charge with a loud battle cry and take each other down with a double clothesline .. "

SiD " Why isn't tje ref counting , what is wrong with him ..."

Guy " He is still shaken up from being knocked out ... Wait what is this Rebel is coming to the ring ... "

SiD " What is he doing out here ??? "

Guy " I would bet he wants a shot at Ashura's belt so he is up to something that can't be good ... Rebel climbs in the ring and nails the ref again !!! Now he has a barbed wire 2x4 and he just nailed Ashura with it ... Rebel jumps up to the second turnbuckle and raises his arms as the crowd goes wild ... "

SiD " Take her top off , strip her naked , come on man !!!! She is helpless !!! "

Guy " Rebel reaches into the bag he brought to the ring and takes out some spray paint .. He starts spay painting R - E - then B right on Ashura's chest ... But then BOOM Ashura gets a knee up into his balls .. Rebel falls bacwards in pain ..."

SiD " Ah man she is such a party pooper ... This could of been a good night and she ruined it ..

Guy " Ashura is up but really in pain from that 2x4 shot she just took .. Blood streams down her face as Rebel winds up for another shot ... He nails her from behind with the spay paint can and she is flat on her face .. Rebel flips her over and pulls Armz on top of her , now he is trying to wake up the ref ... The ref crawls over and starts the count 1..2.. NO , Ashura gets an arm up !!! "

SiD " Doesn't the ref wonder why Rebel is in the ring and who hit him ??? "

Guy " He seems to shaken up and dedicated to his job to be asking questions right now .. Ashura crawls away from Armz , who Rebel is helping up ... Armz dives and tackles Ashura rolls her up and pins her again 1...2...3.. this time she does not get an arm up and Armz wins with the help of Rebel !!! "

Winner : Armz
Guy " Oh you can bet Ashura is gonna be pissed after this one as Armz and Rebel leave her bloddy in the ring .. This is Guy Mandel for the rest of The RMWF saying good night , GOOD NIGHT !!!! "

RMWF

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Page Updated Sat May 19, 2001 6:38am EDT