Wednsday Havok 12-27-00 - Miami Special - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives/12_27_00_Miami

" Previously on Wednsday Night Havok "

( We see Madman, Nightmare, Black Widow, Balls Mahoney and Jamal standing before Spider-Man in his penthouse office. )

Spidey " Okay enough with the bullshit .. You guys .. And girl .. Are here to be my new lackeys "

( Spider-Man and Balls in Spidey's office. )

Balls Mahoney " This shit is making me sick .. What is it??? "

Spidey " It's Ajax .. Now keep eating it bitch!!!! "

Balls " No!!! Your nuts!!!! "

Spidey " You know I have the strength of a 180lb spider and can snap you like a twig right???? "

( Balls finishes off the canister of cleanser then keels over. Hi-Tech stands on a stool with a noose around his neck. )

Hi-Tech " Prez .. Spider-Man .. I'm so sorry for having wasted the time of you and this glorious federation .. I wasn't worthy to even apply here "

( He steps off the stool, the rope pulls tight and snaps his neck. The Havok intro begins and the camera shows a beach with a ring and entry door & ramp on it. There are two side stages and the entire beach is packed with screaming fans. )

" Hello folks welcome to another episode of Wednsday Night's Havok, this show as you can see is in the early afternoon however for this special event show. I am Guy Mandell here as always with SiD "the King" Nasty at beautiful sunny Miami Beach Florida "

SiD " Don't you mean Little Cuba?? "

Guy " Please don't start .. Not this soon in the show "

SiD " ....... "

Guy " Today we have all kinds of things lined up, a double stable match and another for the Women's Champ Belt to name two"

SiD " Is this a rerun??? "

Guy " ....... "

SiD " What?? "

Guy " Anyway though we now have a special treat "

SiD " Huh?? "

Guy " Spider-Man has signed Britney Spears to sing the national anthem today "

SiD " For real??? I thought that memo was a joke "

Guy " No joke "

SiD " Yes!!! "

Pre-Match Intermission
( The camera goes over to a side stage where Britney Spears sits stradling a chair, wearing a mic headset, a pair of white hot pants and a silver top, unbuttoned and tied in a knot as to show off her belly button and cleavage. She starts belting out the Star Spangeled Banner, shortly after she starts to sing Santa Claus, Madman, Slacker and Froggii walk out on the stage. They grab her and rip off her clothes and she stops singing. Madman bends her over the chair and put a gun to her head and says something to her. Britney begins to continue singing the national anthem in a whimpering tone while the four guys run a train on her. )

SiD " I can't believe I'm seeing this "

Britney " And the (sob) rockets .. red .. glare (sob)"

( Santa pulls his dick out of her ass and throws her to the ground. )

Britney " UGH!!! As (sob) bombs .. burst (sob) ing in .. air "

( They all jerk off all over her head. Slacker kicks her in the ribs then the four men walk off the stage. She breaks down and starts crying hysterically. Madman walks back out, grabs her by the hair and drags her away with him. )

SiD " I am shocked and apawled "

Guy " ........ "

SiD " fucked up "

Guy " Yes .. Are first match is starting though "

Timebomb -vs- Rebel
( Rebel walks out escorted by the lovely Traci. )

Guy " I can't believe what they did to poor sweet innocent Britney Spears "

SiD " I know .. Those bastards .. Hey!!! Ain't that Timebomb's girl???? She's hanging all over Rebel like a Lousianna .. "

Guy " Stop right there Sid "

SiD " What??? I was just going to say she's hanging on him like .. "

Guy " I know what you were going to say and this is not a racist fed so be quiet "

SiD " They allow RAPE and MURDER but not ethnic humor??? Man fuck this fed "

Guy " Whatever .. Timebomb charges Rebel at the bell and power-bombs him!!!! He goes for an elbow drop but oh!!! Rebel rolls out of they way!!!! Rebel springs to his feet and stomps TB in the head twice before the guy can get back up .. Rebel off the ropes.. He clotheslines Timebomb just as he got back up!!!! "

SiD " No wonder his woman left him .. The man fuckin sucks "

Guy " Timebomb gets back up and starts punching Rebel.. Rebel gives him a kick to the balls though which sends him staggering back a few steps .. Rebel with a reverse DDT!!!! I'm starting to think Timebomb should just give it up.. I have to agree with you Sid when you said he sucks "

SiD " You should always agree with me fool .. I'm always right "

Guy " If you say so "

( Armz walks out from the entryway. )

SiD " Hey!!! That Armz guy is coming out .. He's staring and pointing at Timebomb .. I think Timebomb just shit himself "

( Armz goes back through the ramp entrance. )

Guy " He probably did .. I guess we'll have to wait and see what that was all about "

SiD " I hate to wait .. Why cant.. "

( A crackhead walks up to SiD. )

Crackhead " Hey I know who you is "

SiD " Huh??? "

Crackhead " Hey my man could you hook me up wit a dollar .. I wanna get me a cheeseburger "

SiD " Dude get the fuck away from me "

Crackhead " C'mon maaaaaaaaan ... I'll suck ya DICK!!! "

SiD " What did you say??? "

Crackhead " I SAID .. I'll suck yo dick "

( SiD pulls out a gun and fires three rounds into the crackhead's chest. The guy stumbles back and falls to the sand dead yet SiD unloads five more slugs into the crackhead's body. )

Guy " WHAT THE HELL???? "

SiD " I am not gay .. And I'm tired of people thinking that I am .. All your little comments .. And don't think I don't know what people say behind my back .. It ends "

Guy " SiD??? "

SiD " In my time with this fed I have been beaten .. I've been shot .. I have put up with alot of shit .. No more .. This fed is out of control what with all of it's murderers, rapists, junkies, scumbags, queers .. You name it this fed has it .. And I am sick of it "

Guy " You're insane "

SiD " Maybe .. Or maybe I'm just TOO sane .. Either way my friend .. I have a gun .. So dont test me "

Guy " ........ "

SiD " Don't look now but I think the match is over "

Winner: Rebel
Guy " Sid "

SiD " Yes??? "

Guy " Ummm .. Nevermind "

The Soul -vs- Kid Money

( The fans cheer wildly as Kid Money walks out and down to the ring. The soul comes out next and the audience falls quiet. )

Guy " The Soul runs at Kid Money and throws a punch at him.. the Kid catches his fist though and twists it behind his back to a hammerlock!!!! Now he's just punching Soul in the side of his head repeatedly!!!! "

SiD " Who the hell is this Soul chump anyway???? "

Guy " I'm not sure "

SiD " Useless bitch "

Guy " Kid Money whips Soul into the turnbuckle .. He's setting him up .. And a monkey flip by Kid Money .. Now HE'S on the turnbuckle .. A shooting star press to The Soul!!!! "

SiD " Is that Soul guy even alive??? "

Guy " You can never tell in this fed "

SiD " Right .. Oh.. Hey .. I think I know why Spider-Man made this an outdoor and day show "

Guy " Why's that? "

SiD " School just let out .. And this being Miami all the girls only wear bikini tops .. Even to school "

Guy " I dont know "

SiD " See???? Look!!! "

( Sid points to various thirteen to eighteen year old girls walking onto the beach wearing bikin tops. )

Guy " Ok .. Your right .. Whats your point??? "

SiD " Spider-man's fuckin petifile "

Guy " Why do you care???? "

SiD " It's just wrong "

Guy " Whatever .. Theres a Cash Kick from Kid Money that knock Soul flat on his ass .. Kid Money walks over to him and starts stomping at his face!!!! Soul tries to protect his face with his hand .. Kid Money grabs guy's hand and draws a gun!!!! HE JUST BLEW A HOLE IN THE SOUL'S HAND!!!!! BLOOD'S SQUIRTING EVERYWHERE AS HE WRITHES IN AGONY!!!!! "

SiD " ......... "

Guy " Kid Money drops on him and theres his Million Dollar Dream!!!!! Gary rushes over.. 1..2..3!!!! "

Winner: Kid Money
SiD " Too much violence .. Not enough sweetness "

Guy " Well I see they're already cleaning the blood off the mat as our next match is about to start "

Tough Tony -vs- Madman -vs- Nonviolent X
( An AC/DC song hits the PA as Madman walks out with Britney Spears's panties tied around his arm. Next some Italian music plays and out walks Antonio " Tough Tony " Anastasia. )

SiD " Where's Soldier .. or Nonviolent X .. or whatever he's calling himself this week "

Guy " Not here "

SiD " What he cant even show up for his own match??? As if he had something better to do "

( Gary Coleman locks the cage door and the bell rings. )

Guy " Madman runs at Tony .. Then a drop kick but Tony evades it and gives Madman an elbow drop .. He slaps on a figure four leg-lock .. Almost .. Madman shakes him off and gets back to his feet, brushing glass off his chest .. Tony hits him with a right hook followed by a solid kick to the kneecap that forces Madman back a few steps "

SiD " Yeah .. Kick that fuckin rapists ass Tony!!!! "

Guy " Madman power-bombs Tony and then rakes up some of the glass shards and starts rubbing them in Tony's face .. Tony kicks him off him and wipes the blood off his face and gets back to his feet .. Hey .. Who's that??? Some guy who looks severly retarded just ran out from the crowd and is shaking the cage and screaming at Madman!!!!! "

SiD " Fuckin wackos "

Guy " Madman distracted by the guy gets nailed from behind by Tony!!!! Tony starts kicking Madman in the ribs as security comes over and starts beating down the retarded man!!!! "

SiD " Madman got up .. Goddammit .. He whips Tony into the cage and is now punching him repeatedly in the back of the head .. And a fisherman's suplex to Tony "

Guy " Hey here comes the Rock "

SiD " What??? What the hell's he doing here??? "

Guy " Beats me .. Could it be cause he lives here "

SiD " Could it be cause he lives here wah wah wah wah god I fuckin hate you "

Rock " Hello gentlemen I'm glad you could bring your little fed's show to the Rock's town "

Guy " We are far from little "

Rock " If you say so jabroni "

Sid " Madman has Tony on the ground, stradling him and punching the crap out of him .. Man I was hoping Madman would get hurt more after that shit he did to Britney Spears .. And for what he did to me "

( Sid looks down at his arm then starts stroking his pistol. )

Guy " Both men are cut up and bleeding Tony sidewalks slams Madman and starts climnbing the cage .. Madman gets up and runns at Tony and snatches him off the cage wall and stomps his face!!!! Tony grabs his leg and pulls him down to the mat .. Tony applies a figure-four leg-lock on Madman "

Rock " You call this a match??? "

Guy " Tony with a leg drop .. Now he's going for the wall again .. He's halfway up before Madman gets to his feet .. Madman rattles the cage tring to knock Tony off but has little luck .. Tony reaches the top and is over the side!!!! He leaps down to the ground below!!!! "

Winner: Tough Tony
( The camera cuts to a nearby alleyway where a crackhead is removing jewelry and the wallet from a man who is laying down there. Noticing the camera the crackhead who is recognizably Sha-sha runs away and the identity of the man is reveiled to be Nonviolent X. He lays there dead with a blue face that is covered in dried vomit and he has a syringe hanging from his arm. The camera zooms in a little closer to his hand which is holding an empty dope bag which is stamped "X-Treme Inc.")

SiD " So wait .. Nonviolent X ODed??? "

Guy " Looks that way .. I guess Madman or one of his stablemates sold him some bad shit to eliminate him from their match "

Rock " See thats why The Rock never touches drugs folks " then he flashes the peoples eyebrow

SiD " Idiot .. Now X-Treme Inc. deals drugs???? "

Guy " I guess "

SiD " Not good "

Guy " Well .. Our next match is about to begin "

Rock " That's The Rock's cue jabronis "

SiD " Huh?? "

( The Rock walks down to the ring and pulls down the mic. )

Rock " Okay Miami .. It seems that the RMWF has decided to come to the Rock's hometown for one of their little shows "

( He flashes the people's eyebrow. )

Rock " After having 'banned' the Brama Bull from their fed .. Awwww .. So that's why I am going to fight in this next match .. And send these jabronis crying back to their mommys in the smackdown penthouse suite!!! IF YOU CAN SMELLLLLLALALLLALLLLLLALLL .. WHAT THE ROCK .. IS .. COOKIN!!!! "

( He flashes the people's eyebrow yet again and flexes his pectoral muscles, making them dance. )

Preacher Man -vs- Neep -vs- The Rock
( 'Flowers of Scotland hits the PA as Neep walks out waving to the crowd which is cheering his name. He reaches the ring, his music fades and is replaced by loud, fast techno music as the Preacher Man walks out escourted by WildKat. He takes off his leather jacket and hands it to Kat and enters the ring. )

Guy " The Rock whips Preacher man into Neep and runs to the ropes .. Off them and he clotheslines Neep .. The preacher hits Rock with a double axe-handle and then stomps his head a few times before Neep from behindtakes him down with a reverse arm drag!!!! "

SiD " You know .. This reminds me of a joke "

Guy " Oh no "

SiD " A Priest, a Scotsman and a black guy die and go to Heaven "

Guy " Wait a minute .. The Rock's not black "

SiD " He is to me "

( Guy sighs. )

SiD " Anyway .. They stand outside the pearly gates and St. Peter says to the priest " Being a man of clear devotion simply spell God's name and you are free to pass .. G O D says the priest and St. Pete lets him in .. Next the Scot walks up and is asked again " If you want to enter Heaven my son simply spell God .. G O D says the Scot and in he goes .. Next the black guy walks up and says " I know I haven't been a very religios man but .. " .. St Peter interupts " That doesn't matter my child .. God loves everyone equally whether they beleive or not .. To get into Heaven you must but spell one word like the others did " .. The black guy asks " What word is that???? " St Peter replies " Albuquerque "

Guy " That was terrible "

SiD " I thought it was funny "

Guy " You would .. The Preacher Man goes after the Rock with a spinning neckbreaker Neep runs over and nails the Rock with a falling DDT!!!!! The Preacher man off the ropes clotheslines Neep but runs into the range of The Rock who gives him a kick to the groin then punches him in the face .. Neep back up drop kicks the Precher from behind!!! Him and the Rock are stomping PM til The Rock decides to take Neep down too with an arm drag!!!! "

SiD " I hate The Rock .. And what the hell is a jabroni anyway???? "

Guy " I think it means stupid white boy "

SiD " What??? Why that little .. "

( SiD begins drumming his fingers on his gun which sits in his lap. )

SiD " That does it "

( Sid stands up and points his gun to the ring. )

Guy " WHAT ARE YOU DOING???? "

( Sid starts firing at the Rock. Three slugs into his back takes him down. Dead. )

Guy " SID!!!!! "

SiD " Shut up "

Guy " You are out of control!!!! "

SiD " The Rock needed killin .. Look Neeps on top of Preacher Man "

Guy " Ummm .. This is too much .. Ummm .. Yeah .. Theres the three count "

Winner: Neep

Bandit -vs- Matt & Jeff
( Matt & Jeff walk out to the ring and the crowd begins to chant 'You suck'. Next out is Santa Claus. )

SiD " Santa??? Hey what the fuck???? "

Guy " He pulls off the fake beard.. It's Bandit "

SiD " He dressed like Santa Claus to rape Britney Spears??? That is just plain horrible!!!! "

Guy " Yes it is .. But there's the bell .. Matt goes off the ropes clotheslines Bandit .. Jeff runs over for a leg drop but Bandit rolls out of the way .. He grabs Jeff and gives him a leg-breaker against the side of the turnbuckle!!! Oh man!!! He broke Jeff's leg!!! The bones is sticking out and blood is spraying all over the place!!!! Matt looks a bit scared as Bandit charges at him and scoop-slams him!!! Bandit grabs his head and drop kicks Matt in the face!!! He goes back over to Jeff and is now stomping the mans wounded leg!!!! "

SiD " See what I mean .. There is no need for such excessive violence "

Guy " Jeff is screaming .. He signals Gary .. Hes giving up .. He just tapped out!!! Matt jumps over the top rope and is running away!!!! Bandit's going after him .. He dives off the turnbuckle and nails Matt with an ax handle!!!! Now he's bashing his face against the apron!!!! Gary runs over to them .. He raises Matt's hand and lets is drop back down "

( Gary Coleman picks up a mic. )

Gary " This man is out .. Since his partner quit too here is our winner .. Bandit!!!! "

SiD " Short match "

Winner: Bandit
Guy " Well Matt & Jeff DO suck "

( The crowd cheers wildly. Bandit kicks Matt a few more times then leaves the ring area. )Ashura -vs- WildKat
Triumph " Okay all you sons of bitches .. I'm just here to announce this next title match .. Now we are going to be seeing a real cat fight .. RUFF RUFF RUFF .. Oh man .. But I digress .. We have Ashura challenging the saucy little WildKat for her Bitch's title .. Oohhh man the things I would do to that Kat .. I would love to get a peice of that doggy-style .. What??? What???? I kid .. I kid .. I already humped her anyway .. But enough chit chat though folks here they come now .. And judging from the intensity and determination in Ashura's eyes this should no doubt be a good match .. FOR ME TO POOP ON!!!! "

Guy " Ashura wastes no time going after Kat!!!! She starts punching her in the face then dropkicks her!!!! A leg drop!!!! WildKat starts to get back up but Ashura kicks her in her side and sends her back to the mat!!!! Ashura off the ropes .. She hits Kat with a running fist drop!!!! "

SiD " Kat's more of the stand there and look pretty type then a professional wrestler .. How she won that Belt in the first place I don't know "

Guy " WildKat with an Irish whip sends Ashura into the turnbuckle .. Ashura turns around in time to take a clothesline!!!! WildKat up the turnbuckle and a big splash but Ashura rolls clear!!!! She picks Kat up by the hair and kicks her in the stomach!!!! Now she has her in a hammerlock!!!! "

SiD " Y'know .. Miami just isn't the same without little Elian .. I miss him "

Guy " You mean you miss his butthole "

( SiD holds up his gun showing it to Guy. )

Guy " A simple 'shut up' would do"

SiD " Yeah well .. It wouldn't have been as cool "

Guy " Kat with an atomic drop .. Wait .. Ashura reverses it to a crucifix!!!! Gary begins the three count .. WildKat has been pinned out!!!! Making Ashura the new Women's Champ!!!! "

Winner and New Women's Champ: Ashura
( Ring girl Jenna Jamison walks out wearing a green sequenced g-string and nothing else. She hands the Belt out to Ashura then drops it at her feet. She walks away and Ashura picks up the Belt and throws it over her shoulder. )

Guy " What's Jenna's problem???? "

SiD " Don't you know???? "

Guy " No I don't "

SiD " I didn't think so "

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Page Updated Sat May 19, 2001 6:38am EDT