Wednsday Night Havok 12-13-00 - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives/12_13_00_Wednsday_Night

( We see Spider-Man's new penthouse office, hearing screaming and yelling from one of the rooms the camera follows the sounds. Balls Mahoney is on the floor in a fetal position screaming and crying while Spidey is beating him with metal coat hangers. )

Spidey " HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO FUCKING TELL YOU????? DON'T USE THE METAL COAT HANGERS TO HANG UP MY COSTUMES!!!!! "

Balls " I .. I'm sorry "

Spidey " YOUR SORRY WHAT???? "

Balls " I .. I'm .. Sorry .. Spidey Dearest "

Spidey " You do so much for them and they still can't follow simple instructions "

( He throws the coat hanger at Balls then walks out into the main room and sits in his chair. )

Spidey " As soon as news of me leaving leaked out Darkstalka quits, then Kid Money and possibly Black Widow and Areala .. Now Nightmare as joined the 'hey let's quit the fed' band wagon .. Our finest wrestlers are dropping like flies it seems all because they cannot imagine staying in a fed that I am not in .. It's truelly touching but seems like a waste of such great talent .. Oh well .. Fuck it "

( He picks up the tv remote, turns it on and starts flipping thru the channels. )

Spidey " Aint shit on "

( He pulls up wrestler file on the screen and scims through them til he stops at M.O.P. and Harlowe. )

Spidey " HEY JAMAL BRING ME THE PHONE!!!!!

( The scene cuts over to Havok with SiD and Guy. )

Scarface and -vs- Slacker
( Scarface walks down the catwalk to the ring as the crowd boos him in unisen. Next out is Slacker who is being escorted by Froggii and two girls in bikinis. )

Guy " This is our first match tonight folks and with Scarface wastes no time waiting for the bell as he takes Slacker down with a running neckbreaker!!!! Slacker back up drop-kicks Scarface and goes for an elbow-drop but Scarface rolls clear of it "

SiD " Who the hell is Slacker anyway???? "

Guy " I think he was the newest member of X-Treme Inc. before they merged with The Alliance "

SiD " Oh "

Guy " Scarface back on his feet picks up Slacker .. Ohhhh!!!! Spinebuster!!!!! "

SiD " Oh wait I remember now .. It's Slacker like Violator's twin brother or some shit???? "

Guy " Very good .. You've started paying attention at the RMWF board meetings "

SiD " Fuck off "

Guy " Slacker up and off the ropes with a clotheslne that Scarface ducks with ease .. Slacker goes off the ropes again and Scarface catches him with a sidewalk slam to Slacker followed by his G to a Key!!!! Gary starts counting.. Scarface won the match!!!! "

Winner: Scarface
Guy " Up now we have a cage match "

SiD " As if anyone even watches this show "

Guy " True "

SiD " They bitch when it gets canceled though "

Rebel -vs- Angel
Guy " Angel with a sasquach take-down takes Rebel down hard .. He stomps him a few times then slaps on a hang-ten!!!!! "

SiD " Gary Coleman yell in there for Angel to let him go so he does "

Guy " Rebel gets to his feet and rakes Angel's eyes!!!! He whips Angel into the cage wall and then nails him with a drop kick!!!! Angel leaps back up and uppercuts Rebel forcing him back a few steps .. They lock up .. Rebel knees Angel in the balls and does a swinging neck-breaker to him!!!! Now an elbow drop .. These two guys are probably the most evenly matched wrestlers fighting tonight "

SiD " What about Nightmare and Steve Eggs Hard???? "

Guy " Well besides them "

SiD " Retard "

Guy " Shut up

( The scene cut over to Spider-Man in his office who's watching the match on his wall of TVs. )

Spidey " This is as boring as kissing your girlfriend "

( He pushes a button on the arm of his chair and the scene returns to SiD and Guy. )

SiD " What the fuck just happened???? The lights just dimmed!!!! "

Guy " No clue .. Angel kicks Rebel in the side sending him against the cage wall .. Oh my god!!!! Sparks of electricity from the cage zapped Rebel back to the center of the mat!!!! "

SiD " What the fuck???? This reaks of Spider-Man "

Guy " Both wrestlers look as confused as the rest of us .. They continue to fight however as Angel snatches Rebel up by his hair then DDTs him!!!!! He adds a knee drop then looks to the cage no doubt wondering how he can get out of it .. Rebel with a leg-drag to Angel .. Angel uppercuts him .. Rebel with a left hook and a quick kick staggers Angel back .. Angel grabs Rebel's arm and whips him .. Rebel reverses the move and whips Angel into the fence!!!! Angel's getting fried now!!!! "

SiD " This is shear fucking madness .. How the fuck are they going to get out of the fucking cage now if it's fucking electrified????? "

Guy " Rebel grabs Angel and the electric current flows through him as well!!!!! Both men fall to the ground .. Angel is the first up and he stomps Rebel in the ribs as he tries to get back up!!!!! Rebel is barely moving .. Angel grabs the cage and tries to withstand the electricity as he attempts to climb the wall!!!!! "

SiD " That's pretty tough .. Or stupid "

Guy " Angel starts convulsing and falls back to the mat!!!!! The shock knocked him out cold!!!! That takes the pressure off Rebel some but now he still needs to find a way out .. I don't know how he's going to do it though "

SiD " Who fucking cares .. Angel is unconcious he should be disqualified .. I know you can hear me Gary "

Guy " Ref Gary Coleman nods this way and makes his ruling "

Winner by DQ: Rebel
Guy " Now a word from our sponser "

( The scene cuts back to Spidey's penthouse office where he is sitting in his chair with Black Widow behind him. Jamal escorts M.O.P. through the door and before Spider-Man. )

Spidey " M.O.P. I couldn't help but notice that you haven't been doing very much here these past few weeks .. Care to explain???? "

M.O.P. " I'm sorry "

Spidey " It's quite alright "

( Spider-Man gets up and walks M.O.P. into the next room, the one with the pool. Black Widow follows. )

M.O.P. " Nice pool "

Spidey " I'm glad you think so "

( Black Widow sweeps M.O.P.'s feet and he falls into the shallow end of the pool, he jumps up for air but she kicks him in the face and grabs his head, forcing him to stay under. He thrashes about. )

Spidey " Now M.O.P. believe me .. This hurts me more than it does you but .. Well thats just life in the big leagues for you .. Wrestle for us or .. Well I think you know now "

( M.O.P. stops thrashing and Black Widow releases him, his body floats up face down. The camera follows Spidey and her back to the main room. )

Spidey " Now Jamal my main man .. You took care of those other matters right??? "

Jamal " Word up boss "

Spidey " Eeeexcellent " (suposed to sound like Mr. Burns)

( The scene cuts over to a 7-11 parking lot where Harlowe is trying to pick up some teenage boys. )

Harlowe " Well fuck you then .. I don't need your sex .. I have a cat "

( He gets into his rusty beat up Voltzwagon Rabbit and starts it up. BOOM!!!! It explodes. The scene cuts to Tank standing naked in his bathroom singing the theme to Dawson's Creek, he is about to take a shower. He steps into the shower and starts screaming as he realises it's not water but acid coming out of the faucet head. His cries of agony are soon silenced when he is reduced to nothing more than a fleshless corpse laying in a sticky pool of blood. The scene goes back to SiD and Guy. )

SiD " Damn .. I remember when they just shot guys or had them crippled in the ring .. They're going all out now "

Guy " I guess .. Anyway though we have a double title match now .. Nightmare and his Hardcore Belt against Steve Eggs Hard and his IC Belt "

Nightmare -vs- Steve Eggs Hard
( 'Let's Legislate' hits the PA as Steve Eggs Hard wobbles out carrying a bucket of chilli which he is shoveling into his mouth with his other hand. Next Nightmare comes out waving his Hardcore Belt over his head. )

Guy " Theres the bell .. Nightmare runs up to Steve and punches him in the head but he doesnt even blink .. He just continues eating his chilli .. Nightmare grabs Steves bucket and the two begin fighting over it!!!! The tug of war ends when the bucket goes fling and dumps chilli all over the ring!!!! "

SiD " Uh-oh Steve is PISSED now!!!! "

Guy " Steve runs at Nightmare and tries to punch him but Nightmare quickly sidesteps around him .. Steve tries to hit him again but Nightmare avoids that attack too "

SiD " Steve looks out of breath .. Fucking fat slob "

Guy " Nightmare charges Steve but slips in the spilled chilli and goes sliding out of the ring!!!!! Steve climbs the turnbuckle .. Well .. He's trying to at least .. Nightmare climbs up to the apron but Steve swats him back down!!!!! "

SiD " Steve pulls a turkey leg out from his pants and starts scarfin it down!!!! How fucking gross!!!!

Guy " Nightmare gets back up .. Steve off the ropes with a big splash!!!!!! "

SiD " He just farted in Nightmare's face!!!!! .. Oh god!!!!! I can smell it from all the way over here!!!! Jesus!!!! "

Guy " Nightmare looks like hes about ready to pass out .. Steve gives him an atomic butt!!!! "

SiD " Hey that's a Jamal move "

Guy " Regardless Steve now with a pin .. Gary's counting .. 1 .. 2 .. 3 .. 4 .. 5 "

SiD " 5????? Oh .. They're out side of the ring "

Guy " It doesn't look like Nightmare can get Steve off of him "

SiD " That fat tub of shit can't get off Nightmare either .. Fat people are so fucking gross "

Winner: No Contest
Ashura -vs- Vulcan Raven
('Breaking Things' by Limp Bizkit floods the arena as Ashura struts out occompanied to the ring by her puma Aries. Next out is Vulcan Raven who goes down to the ring to join his opponent. )

Guy " Vulcan Raven charges Ashura with a clothesline which she reverses to an arm-drag/four-on-the-floor hammerlock combo!!!! "

SiD " Damn "

Guy " Ashura off the ropes with a running tornado suplex to Vulcan Raven!!!! "

Guy " It wasn't too long ago if you remember that Vulcan Raven betrayed Ashura's stable ABSTRAKT by turning on Darkstalka in a Rumble "

SiD " I remember when Spock turned on Capt. Kirk and took over the Enterprise .. Fuckin Vulcans .. Can't trust any of em .. It's that damn green blood they got if you ask me "

Guy " ANYWAY .. Raven nails Ashura with a sumatrin sidekick that sends her into the turnbuckle!!!! Raven goes after her but she runs up and off the turnbuckle and hits him with an atomic elbow!!!! "

SiD " Raven sweeps her feet and gives her a victory roll .. She gets up and drop kicks him!!!!! "

Guy " Raven off the ropes with a spinning neckbreaker to Ashura!!!!! He goes for a falling axe-handle but Ashura monkey-flips him out of the ring!!!! He gets to his feet and pulls a steel chair from under the ring as Ashura moonsaults off the top rope and knocks him down!!!! She grabs the chair and starts smashing his head with it!!!! She picks him up and piledrives hime into the concrete floor!!!! "

SiD " He's convulsing .. I think she broke his neck or spine or some shit "

Guy " Here comes the ref to make a ruling .. He's poking at Raven then holds Ashura's arm in the air!!!!! Paramedics come out and strap Raven on a stretcher .. I think she paralysed him "

SiD " Which makes us ask will he ever fight again???? 'Harked the raven .. Never more '"

Guy " Oh god "

SiD " Oh shut up "

Winner: Ashura
( The show cuts to a commercial. )

( The show returns at the parking lot where Vulcan Raven is being loaded into an ambulance. )

Madman " Well well well .. If it isn't the bitch that killed my dear little brother "

( Madman punches out the EMS guy a draws a Bowie knife. He walks over to Vulcan Raven who is straped on a stretcher and slits his throat, blood squirts everywhere. )

Madman " That's for Violator bitch "

( The scene returns to the show. )

N.W.O. -vs- The X-Treme Alliance
( 'Flowers of Scotland' hits the PA as Neep, Fraser Newlands, Chyna, Stuart Fraser and Trish Status walk out to the ring. Their music dies off and then Nightmare, Madman, Angel, Bandit, Megan, Midnight, Badboy, Maverick, Fanatic, Storm, Froggi, Slacker, Wolf, Viper and Latoya, walk out then down to the ring. )

SiD " Ummmm "

Guy " Yeah .. This does look a little bit on the unfair side "

SiD " Right "

Guy " Theres the bell!!!! Neep charges at Nightmare and scoop-slams him as Angel nails Newlands with a running shoulder tackle!!!! Madman grabs Newlands head and starts punching the living shit out of him!!!! Megan and Trish lock-up but Fanatic drop kicks Trish and him Slacker, Wolf and Maverick jump on her and start ripping off her clothes!!!! Badboy and Latoya start pounding on Stuart Fraser .. Nightmare snap-mares Neep and Bandit starts stomping Neep's face!!!! Midnight cross bodies Chyna and Viper and Storm give her elbow and leg drops!!!! Neep tries to get up but is hit by Bandit with a right hook followed by an axe-handle by Nightmare!!!!! Angel picks up Newlands and piledrives him into the turnbuckle!!!! "

SiD " Breath man breath "

Guy " Shit's just too damn busy out there folks "

SiD " Right .. Major ass whoopin going on .. Look like a major ass fuckin too cause Wolf, Maverick, Fanatic, Froggii and Slacker are gang-banging Trish Status!!!!! "

Guy " What is it with those guys and rape????? "

SiD " I dunno .. They have some serious issues with women I guess "

Guy " Bandit now has Neep in a full-Nelson while Nightmare is just pummeling the poor Lt. K'mish!!!!! Angel,Badboy and Midnight are triple teaming Newlands and basically it's just crazy out there .. N.W.O. is getting their asses beat "

SiD " Maverick, Wolf, Froggii, Slacker, Fanatic and now Viper are all fucking Trish still .. Six on one .. But she doesn't seem to be tiring .. What a trooper!!!! "

Guy " Chyna runs over and starts pulling those guys off of Trish!!!! She throws Viper into Maverick then Froggi into Angel!!!! Trish gets to her feet and uppercuts Fanatic!!!! "

SiD " Hey!!!! Goldust and Test are running out to the ring!!!! They slide in and Test drop-kicks Bandit while Goldust takes Nightmare down with a chinaman's suplex!!!! "

Guy " Fraser Newlands throws a punch at Angel but Midnight catches his fist and whips him into Stuart Fraser who is still taking a clobbering from Latoya and Badboy .. Test off the ropes with a running spinbuster to Maverick .. Wolf, Viper, Fanatic and Slacker all jump ontop of Chyna knocking her to the mat and are attempting to rip off her clothes!!!!! "

SiD " Those guys should really learn how to controll their hormones .. I mean shit .. Enough is enough already!!!!! "

Guy " Nightmare back up snap-mares Goldust and puts him in a figure-four leg-lock .. Bandit scoop slams Neep onto the turnbuckle and follows with a double axe-handle!!!!! This is brutal folks .. I don't see the win going to N.W.O. at this rate "

SiD " Gee like twenty on five .. Did you ever???? "

Guy " Shut up .. Madman rushes to the fallen K'mish and gives him a leg-drop .. I think Stuart Fraser is unconcious .. Or dead maybe .. But that's not stopping Badboy, Latoya, and Midnight from stomping the living crap out of him still!!!!! Slacker, Wolf, Viper and Fanatic finally have Chyna's clothes off but are having trouble getting her to submit .. She mule-kicks Viper off of her and he knocks the others down like dominos!!!!! Trish runs over and gives Viper a knee drop while Bandit is bashing Neep's head against the turnbuckle repeatedly!!!! "

SiD " Where'd Goldust go????? "

Guy " I don't know .. He seemed to have disappeared in all of the mayhem "

SiD " Figures .. The K'mish is such a pussy "

Guy " Test powerbombs Froggii and Nightmare runs over to Neep and drop kicks him!!!!! Bandit takes a break from beating on the Lt. K'mish and is just watching Nightmare go at him .. Madman just snuck up behind Chyna and stuck his fingers up her ummm .. "

SiD " Snatch "

Guy " Yeah .. She spins around and kicks him!!!!! Slacker, Wolf, and Viper hold her arms back while Madman pulls down his pants!!!!! Midnight having lost interest in the bloody and unconcous Stuart turn their attention to Newlands who is cowering in the corner of the ring .. Latoya goes after Test and Maverick has Trish pinned out but is punching the shit out of her!!!!! "

SiD " Hey where'd Froggii and Angel go???? "

Guy " I don't know they were there a minute ago .. Ref Gary Coleman steps in the ring and makes Maverick get off of Trish Status since he already pinned her out .. He then walks over to the Chyna gang-bang and breaks it up .. Chyna submitted "

SiD " Rape counts as a submission move now????? I guess that really shouldn't surprise me though "

Guy " Trish and Chyna .. Both naked .. Drag Stuart Fraser out of the ring with them .. Bandit snatches Test by his long luxurious hair and slams his knee into his face .. The other members of the former X-Treme Inc. join him in beating down Test!!!! Fraser Newlands jumps out of the ring and runs away!!!! Latoya and Midnight are sitting down!!!!!There's a gold flash of light in the middle of the ring .. It's a Gold Power Ranger!!!! "

SiD " How gay .. This is stupid "

Guy " The Gold Ranger charges Nightmare with a spinning bicycle kick and then power-bombs Bandit!!!! Maverick pins out Test .. Gold Ranger hurls Viper into Badboy and Fanatic then double-stomps Midnight then gives Latoya a triple spining kick!!!! Gold Ranger is kicking everyone's ass!!!!! "

SiD " A Power Ranger .. I'm seriously considering quiting this fed "

Guy " The Gold Ranger continues his attack on X-Treme Alliance as Gary Coleman climbs in the ring a starts poking at Neep .. He gestures that the match is over .. Neep is unconcous which means The X-Treme Alliance defeated N.W.O!!!!! "

Winner: X-Treme Alliance
Guy " Well that's all the time we have here on this Havok folks .. until next time .. Goodnight "

RMWF

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Page Updated Sat May 19, 2001 6:38am EDT