Wednsday Night Havok 10-4-00 - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives/10_4_00_Wednsday_Night

" Here we are again coming at you live from Madison Square Garden for another installment of Wedsnday Night Havok. I am Guy Mandel and sitting with me as always .. SiD 'The King' Nasty. Tonight outside of the stable match we have pretty much nothing but newcomers fighting "

SiD " Yeah .. Somehow this lousy fed is growing .. The Prez must be giving them drugs or something "

Guy " You are right about it growing .. The RMWF now is up to thiry-four active members "

SiD " Hey Guy .. Can I ask you something???? "

Guy " Umm .. Sure SiD "

SiD " Have you ever jerked it with another guy??? "

Guy " Have I what???? "

SiD " You know .. Have you ever gotten drunk and jerked it with a couple of your friends??? "

Guy " Umm .. No .. I haven't "

SiD " Not to sound gay or anything and our differances aside you should try it with me sometime bro .. It'd be fun "

Guy " I think I'll pass on that offer if it's all the same to you "

SiD " Whatever .. Think about it though "

Max Insanity -vs- "Canadian Badass" Harley Hart

('Canadian Badass' hits the PA as Harley Hart accompanied by the lovely Nicole Bass struts down the catwalk giving the crowd the finger as they boo him. Then insane laughter comes over the PA followed by 'Damage Case' by Metallica as two men lead the straight-jacketed Max Insanity down to the ring and release him.)
SiD " Wow .. A prick against a nut-job "

Guy " Having flashbacks from the Jersey Turnpike rest areas SiD??? "

SiD " Huh?? Hey fuck you!!!! I ain't like that .. I was just asking!!!! "

Guy " Harley double-suplexes Max and is now stomping him!!!! Max isn't even trying to avoid Harts kicks!!!! Max is getting the crap beaten out of him "

SiD " He's up now "

Guy " Max uppercuts Harley knocking him down and is now running around the ring waving his arms and giggling!!! "

SiD " That guy creeps me out "

Guy " Which one??? "

SiD " Max .. I mean at first I figured the whole crazy thing was just an act .. I ain't so sure now though "

Guy " Harley whips Max into the turnbuckles!!!! Max is bashing his own head against them!!! Blood's gushing from his head!!! Hart's looking a little bit scared of this guy "

SiD " Shit .. Him and me both "

Guy " Max is chewing on the turnbuckles now!!!! Harley from behind scoop-slams Max out of the ring!!! "

SiD " Bad move .. Max is pulling a steel chair out from under the ring "

Guy " Hart knee drops Max!!!! Max leaps to his feet and smacks him with the chair!!! Over and over he's hitting him with it!!! Nicole just DDTed Max and is now helping Harley to his feet!!!! "

SiD " Max is thrashing around on the floor .. What the hell was the Prez thinking letting this guy join the fed???? "

Guy " Hart running kicks Max in the head and he comes flying our way!!!! "

SiD " Isn't that a Ray Lucas move???? If your going to steal a move you should at least do it from someone good "

Guy " Actually SiD .. I think Ray's involves turnbuckles "

SiD " Oh whatever "

Guy " Hart snatches up Max and tosses him back in the ring .. Max is swinging on the ropes like a monkey!!! He leaps suddenly on Harely and is chewing on his nose!!!! Bloods squirting all over both of them as Hart knocks Max off of him!!!! "

SiD " That guys a freak!!! "

Guy " Max pokes Harley in the eyes then kicks him in the groin!!!! "

SiD " I KICK YOU IN DA NUTS!!! "

Guy " Your Eric Cartman impression sucks SiD "

SiD " I am 'The King' goddammit!!!! RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAY!!! '

Guy " Oh brother .. I need to find a new job "

SiD " I'll give you a job "

Guy " I bet you would "

SiD " Fuck you I didn't mean it like that!!!! "

Guy " Look .. You made me miss Max win!!!! "

SiD " You'll get over it "

Guy " Wait a minute .. Max is chasing after Nicole Bass and gives her a brainbuster!!! A midget comes running out from under the ring and pokes him with a cattle prod!!!! "

SiD " Who is that midget anyway??? He was here before once "

Guy " I think he's secret security or something .. He's chasing Max up the catwalk and out of site "

Winner : Max Insanity

(The camera cuts to the locker room where Sharon is sitting on a bench, lacing up her Docs.)
Sharon " So .. I finally get to beat you down Newlands like the little bitch you are .. You were smart to avoid me .. But now you have nowhere left to run faggot .. I'm going to give you the beatdown of your life you fucking queer!!! "

(The camera switches back to SiD and Guy.)
SiD " I wonder what her beef with him is .. She's been hounding him for a fight for awhile now "

Guy " No idea .. It should be a good fight though "

SiD " If you say so "

Guy " Next we have Trevor and Thunder matched up "

SiD " Hey didn't those guys just start a stable together??? "

Guy " Yes they did actually "

SiD " That doesn't sound fair does it???? "

Christian Trevor -vs- Jake Thunder

(Christian Trevor and Jake Thunder walk down the catwalk together then enter the ring.)
SiD " Huh??? What's going on out there??? "

Guy " Well Trevor is pulling down the mic .. "

Christian Trevor " There will not be any fight between Jake Thunder and me tonight for he has joined my Hate Faction and our fight will be against anyone and everyone we see fit to destroy. For the world will not be in the hands of people like you, but THE HANDS OF THOSE WHO ARE LIKE ME!!! And THE DISPOSABLE HATE FACTION. WHAT'S TO HATE? EVERY FUCKING THING!!! "

Guy " That guy's a piece of work alright "

SiD " At least they're disposable .. He sounds like a Pig Vomit groupie though if you ask me "

Guy " I didn't "

SiD " Fuck off "

Winner : No Contest

(The camera goes to Fraser Newlands standing backstage drinking a bottle of water.)
Newlands " I've been hearing you run your mouth for awhile now Sharon like the fucking bitch that you are!!! After tonight though when Air Newlands lands on your face maybe you'll learn to keep that loud mouth of yours shut!!! "

(The camera returns to Sid and Guy.)
Guy " Words from Fraser Newlands about his match with Sharon later this evening "

SiD " Why can't they just fight without having to talk about what they're going to do to each other??? "

Guy " If you have to ask .. No wonder you retired "

SiD " What's that supposed to mean??? "

Guy " It means your the King "

SiD " Oh .. Okay "

Guy " You know though .. I was thinking .. That Hate Faction could be pretty big .. So far tonight's show has pretty much been a showcase for it's new members .. And we have it's fourth member coming up now "

SiD " Ask me if I care "

Alex -vs- The Black Widow

( The Ninth Symphony by Beethovan hits the PA as Alex walks down to the ring twirling his cane and curtsing to the crowd. Next the Soviet national anthem plays as The Black Widow walks out head held high ignoring the boos from the crowd. )
Guy " Alex with an immediate drop kick to the Black Widow followed by an elbow drop!!! "

SiD " I'm torn .. I mean she's a commie yet she's beautiful .. I don't know who to root for "

Guy " Widow back up and double-jabs Alex!!! A reverse Russian snap-mare / knee to the throat combo!!! "

SiD " Damn that bitch .. I mean woman is quick .. Jesus!!!! "

Guy " Here comes Alex at her again .. She whips him into the ropes and he clotheslines her!!! Alex with an atomic elbow .. Widow moves before he makes contact and windmill-kicks him in the head sending him sailing across the ring!!! I can't help but think that newcomer Alex is a bit out of his league here .. I don't think he's ever even had any professional training before "

SiD " Well he's getting some professional ass kicking now .. Hey wasn't this supposed to be a cage match??? "

Guy " Oh yeah .. I think it was "

SiD " The promoters need to sober up .. They forget everything "

Guy " Alex is at the ropes fetching his cane now .. He charges Black Widow and she sidesteps him!!! He spins around and cracks her in the head with it!!! Black widow's staggering back a little while wiping blood off the side of her head .. Alex just bowed to her!!!! "

SiD " I guess he's a gentleman and doesn't enjoy beating up women .. And just when I was starting to think he might be cool .. Did I say that out loud??? Shit!!! "

Guy " No need to try to play it coy SiD we all know your a woman beater "

SiD " I only hit her once and she had it coming!!!! "

Guy " If you say so .. Alex is on Black Widow's back choking her with his cane!!! She just can't seem to get him off!!! "

SiD " Now he is .. Why's he holding his stomach??? Hey!!! She stabbed him!!! "

Guy " Alex looks a little shaken .. What the hell??? He just drew a knife from his cane!!! "

SiD " What is this a wrestling match or a goddamn bar fight???? "

Guy " Alex lunges at Black Widow but she dodges his knife and cuts his arm with hers "

SiD " I have to admit though that cane-sword's pretty cool "

Guy " Both wrestlers are circling each other searching for an opening .. Black Widow pauses and smirks at Alex and he tips his hat to her .. They threw their weapons to the mat!!! "

SiD " This is stupid "

Guy " Black Widow with a helicoptor-kick to Alex's head!!! "

SiD " Damn .. Alex looked like Linda Blair for a second there!!! "

Guy " Alex is on his hands and knees while the Black Widow circling the ring threatening audience members "

SiD " This match isn't fair .. What was he thinking .. He was in no way ready for a match "

Guy " Black Widow now on the turnbuckle and gesturing at the crowd again .. There's a Widow Maker!!!! He's screaming like a bitch!!!! He can't break free!!!! She just snapped his back folks!!!! Alex is convulsing .. Now he's dead!!!!"

SiD " Damn .. She killed that poor kid!!!! "

Guy " Wait .. She's pulling down the mic "

SiD " They should put that thing more out of reach "

Black Widow " I am a seasoned combatant and you Capitolists throw children at me to defeat??? You make me sick Prez!!!! Is there not one single warrior among this worthless federation who can match my skills??? That is what I thought "

Winner : Black Widow

Guy " Some pretty harsh words coming from the Black Widow about this fed and it's wrestlers "

SiD " I think she just needs to get laid .. I'm also thinking that I may be the man to help her out .. I'll be back "

Sharon Needles -vs- Fraser Newlands

( The lights go out and 'Dr. Marten Dental Plan' by Bound For Glory hits the PA as Sharon walks out and struts her way down to the ring. Next 'Take A Look Around' by Limp Bizkit comes on the PA and Fraser Newlands appears and heads down the catwalk to the ring.)
Guy " As soon as Newlands gets on the apron Sharon drop kicks him to the floor outside of the ring!!!! An Atomic elbow!!! Newlands gets up and uppercuts her to the ground and slaps on a figure four leg-lock!!! He shoves her aside and gets into the ring .. She'd better do the same or she'll be counted out!!! "

SiD " Oh this is one of them matches where you can get disqualified for being outside of the ring??? I've heard about them "

Guy " Stop it "

SiD " Shut up "

Guy " So what did Black Widow have to say to you???? "

SiD " She said she wanted me bad and that I should call her later "

Guy " You are so full of shit!!! "

SiD " She did I swear it on my mother's grave!!!! "

Guy " Your mother isn't dead "

SiD " Shut up .. If I say she wants me then she wants me "

Guy " Yeah .. Okay .. Sharon with an Irish whip sends Newlands face first into the turnbuckle!!! Now she's smashing his face against it!!! The ref rushes over and tells her to stop it .. The two of them are arguing and Fraser from behind with a double-axe handle misses Sharon and nails the ref!!! "

SiD " Ha!! "

Guy " Sharon with a japaneese leg-drag then a Brooklyn suplex!!! "

SiD " Now I see why he avoided fighting her .. He can't do shit unless Neep is there to inspire him "

Guy " Newlands with a powerbomb to Sharon!!! Followed by a scoop-slam!!! Sharon's crawling away from him and he stomps her from behind!!! Still think he sucks??? "

SiD " Yep "

Guy " Sharon with a flying scissors sends Fraser into the turnbuckles!!! "

SiD " Deja vu "

Guy " Sharon tryed to kick him in the back but he turned and grabbed her foot and shoved her away!!! "

SiD "He's going after her now "

Guy " Fraser with a Samoan Drop and Sharon reversed it to a crucifix!!!! There's the pin!!! ...1...2...3!!! So much for Newlands .. Maybe you were right about him SiD "

SiD " I'm ALWAYS right .. remember that "

Winner : Sharon

Guy " That Sharon is pretty good at wrestling for such a little girl "

SiD " Yeah .. Ha! That's the second Neep sidekick she's beaten .. I wonder if he'll step up to her next "

Guy " Who knows "

SiD " It'd be funny if she beat Neep too "

Guy " Well Sharon is good but I don't think Neep would have any trouble beating her "

SiD " True .. Neep is pretty experienced at beating up women "

Guy " ANYWAY .. Next up is N.W.O. and The New Dawn ... again "

SiD " That Spider-Man freak is a dick for booking this next match "

Guy " Why do you say that???? "

SiD " N.W.O. has like seven or eight members and The New Dawn only has three now .. Don't you think that's a bit unfair??? "

Guy " Yeah .. I see your point .. Fair or not though it's starting "

N.W.O. -vs- The New Dawn

("All Hail .. The New Dawn!!" rings out on the PA then loud techno comes on as The New Dawn make their way to the ring. Their music dies down and then 'Masters of Rock' by RUN DMC begins to blare onto the PA and Neep and Chyna walk down the runway a few moments later the rest of the N.W.O.: Pulverizer, Fraser Newlands and Stuart Fraser follow.)
SiD " Everyone's just standing there giving each other hard looks .. Looks like a scene from Colors "

Guy " The bell rings and Neep charges after The Preacher Man but he picks up Stuart Fraser and uses him as a shield long enough for the Warrior Three to Templar-suplex Chyna!!!! Preacher Man body-slams Stuart on top of Neep then gets drop-kicked by Pulverizer!!! "

SiD " Wild Kat just pinned Stuart out!!! That boy lasted a whole thirty seconds!!!! "

Guy " Newlands elbow drops Kat who is still on Stuart .. She mule-kicks him off of her and he goes flying past Pulverizer who snatches her up by her hair and punches her in the face!!!! Pulverizer slaps a full-Nelson on her .. Preacher Man dives out of the ring and Newlands is going after him "

Sid " The Preacher pulled a baseball bat out from under the ring and cracked Newlands over the head with it!!!! Now why do they store stuff like that under there???? We've scene tables, chairs, bats, chains, guns I think, chainsaws, machetes, Krazed, a midget, I bet you Jimmy Hoffa's under there too "

Guy " Neep grabs Preacher Man's head and drags him into the ring under the bottom rope!!! Pulverizer nails him with an off the turnbuckle atomic-elbow!!!! Chyna side-belly suplexes Warrior Three and climbs back into the ring "

SiD " Where's N.W.O.'s other ladies???? "

Guy " They were omited to even out the stables .. Althought Stuart Fraser was to be left out too "

SiD " Well if they're not here fighting then they should be at my place cooking or doing the dishes or laundry or something "

Guy " And yet you wonder why you can't get dates .. "

SiD " Oh shut up .. I've seen Chyna's vagina "

Guy " Yeah on a page like everyone else .. Here comes Ravage running to the ring!!!! He slides in and DDTs the Preacher Man from behind!!!!

SiD " Who invited him??? "

Guy " Chyna tries to clothesline Ravage but he slashes her side with that claw of his!!!! Pulverizer just having pinned Kat is now going after Warrior Three who has Neep in a corner and is pummeling him with the pommel of his sword Neep's head is all bloody .. He may be inconcious "

SiD " Chyna's beating the crap out of Ravage for interfering .. Preacher Man bible-belts Chyna then starts stopping on Ravage too "

Guy " The ref rules Neep out because he is K.O.ed .. Pulverizer scoop-slams Warrior Three causing him to drop his sword near Ravage .. He seems repelled by it .. Chyna grabs Preacher Man and head-butts him. Ravage leaps to his feet and rakes the Preacher across the back and he falls to his hands and knees .. Chyna kicks him .. Ravage kicks him .. they are just exchanging kicks to the Preacher Man!!!! "

SiD " Preacher Man is getting his ass beat!!!! Will someone get Ravage out of there??? "

Guy " Newlands now double-teaming Warrior Three with Pulverizer .. W3 looks about ready to collapse .. I don't think The New Dawn has any chance of winning this match tonight .. There's Sharon running to the ring she's in and flings Newlands across the mat with a flying head-scissors!!!! "

SiD " What the hell???? Where the fuck is security???? This is getting ridiculous!!!! "

Guy " She's off the ropes and double jump-stomps Newlands!!!! Preacher man leg-drags Ravage and pins him out!!! "

SiD " He wasn't even in there legally .. What the hells the point of a pin???? Hey!!! Newlands is running away!!!! He's afraid of Sharon!!!! "

Guy " What a turn around for The New Dawn .. The win could go to either stables at this point .. Pulverizer whips W3 and he collides head first with Chyna!!!! They are tumbling on the mat a small package by Chyna!!!! "

SiD " So much for the Warrior Three "

Guy " Sharon picks up W3s sword and is assessing the fight as the battered and bloody Preacher Man struggles to get to his feet .. "

SiD " Speaking of battered have you tryed the chicken fingers at the snack bar??? They're pretty good "

Guy " Sharon swings the sword at Pulverizer but he dodges it and punches her to the mat!!!! He leg drops her and pins her out!!!!! "

SiD " That was easy "

Guy " Well she may be good .. But come Pulverizer is way better than her "

SiD " True "

Guy " Chyna and Pulverizer now closing in on the Preacher Man .. Here comes the zombie Lightingrod to the ring!!!! "

SiD " God .. Not another one "

Guy " Maggots fall out of Lightningrod as he drop-kicks Pulverizer but it's too late Chyna has Preacher Man in a pin...1...2...3 .. Looks like Lightningrod's efforts were in vane cause Chyna just won it for N.W.O.!!!! "

Winner : N.W.O.

SiD " So what .. Is Lightingrod Preacher Man's man-bitch now since he brought him back to life???? "

Guy " I don't know .. Only time will tell .. Speaking of time .. We are out of it so until next time folks .. goodnight "

(The camera cuts back stage to Jimmy Kimmel.)

" Hey folks what's up this is Jimmy Kimmel from the Man Show and formerly of Win Ben Stein's Money. I'm here backstage because Clive Anderson that limey bastard knocked down a few too many in the green room and forgot he has a freaking job to do .. that is if he still has one now. Anyway .. I was told one of your old announcers got killed a week or two ago and am supposed to let you know that if you see a man claiming to be Riley Finn he is an imposter!!! And you should not take this man seriously or let him into your home. I hear he molested Gary Coleman Monday when Gary said he could crash on his couch and then stole all of his porno mags!!! Now that's just wrong. But anyway folks if you see this man don't report him to the police or nothing contact the Prez and he will put a stop to this madness .. pimp style!!! Oh Yeah!! That's it .. Goodnight folks. "

RMWF

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Page Updated Sat May 19, 2001 6:38am EDT