Sunday Night Slam 10-29-00 - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives/10_29_00_Sunday_Night

Sunday Night Slam's music hits and fireworks explode all over the place. The camera goes to the announcers table.

Sid: Hello everybody I'm Sid 'the king' Nasty here with Guy Mandell for another exciting edition of Sunday Night Slam.

Guy: Tonight we have the cage title semi-finals, the debut in the ring of Bill Goldburg and a lot, lot more.

Sid: And speaking of Goldburg, Clive Anderson talked to him a little earlier on.
The camera cuts backstage where Clive is stood with Goldburg who's wearing jeans and a soft grey T-shirt.

Clive: Goldburg, tonight you team with Austin 3:16 and take on the bravehearts in a tag match.

Goldburg: That's right. People know what sort of power I have, I don't see how the Bravehearts can stand up to me and steve.

Clive: Of course they have experience though, you and Steve are teaming for the first time.

Goldburg: If you ask me that ain't gonna be a factor cause me and steve are two tough SOB's and I've never met anyone who could stop either of us.

Clive: Goldburg, thankyou.

The camera cuts back to the arena.

The Bravehearts vs. Austin and Goldburg
Sid: Now we weren't told what match we're starting with so...

'Flower of Scotland' hits the PA.

Sid: Hey I guess we're gonna start right out with the big tag match! Here comes Neep and Fraser Newlands! They're in the ring pumping up the crowd.SMASH!

Guy: Here comes Stone Cold, and he's driving a pickup truck! He enters the ring and goes to all four turnbuckles and raises his arms.

Sid: Hey look out, neep and fraser from behind! Kicking and punching Steve, Goldburg isn't here yet!

Guy: Well the bell has rung and neep is going at Steve with a vengeance, scoop slam and now locks on an armbar!

Sid: But Steve is out of the hold and fighting fit, pumelling Neep into the corner!

Guy: Now he's stomping a mudhole in him, and the crowd are going wild!

Sid: He swears at the crowd, now lifts Neep up.

Guy: Piledriver on neep, the bravehearts need to slow Austin down!

Sid: Neep kicks out. Off the ropes but ducks Stone Cold's clothesline, off the ropes again and a Yakuza kick by neep knocks Austin down.

Guy: Neep has made the tag.

Sid: Fraser off the top with a double axehandle, now he stomps the bad knee of Austin's and puts a Figure Four leg lock on!

Guy: Austin is wincing with the pain, he's trying to turn the hold over to reverse it! He's straining against it!

Sid: He can't quite do it.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM BOOM BOOM! Goldburg's music hits the PA. The crowd go wild.

Guy: Here comes Goldburg!!

He walks out to the top of the ramp, sparks engulf him for five seconds, he blows smoke from his mouth and nose. He walks down the ramp swinging his
arms setting off more pyro.

Sid: He's rolling into the ring! He stomps fraser off Stone Cold, neep comes back in! Goldburg charges, spear on Neep!

Guy: Austin is still down but Fraser is back up! Goldburg with a spear on Fraser!
Sid: Oh no, here comes the Jackhammer! He's holding Fraser up high, there it is! Jackhammer!

Guy: He's put Stone Cold over Fraser, 1...2....3!! It's over already!

Goldburg's music plays again.

Sid: He's walking up the ramp, Stone Cold is staggering after him, he's raising his arms in victory!

Winners: Austin & GoldburgSid:

SiD: We've been told that Jackass has been attacked in the back by Black
Widow.

Guy: Why'd she do that?

Sid: Do you remember the battle royal? She was about to win when Kid Money shot her through the leg and cost her the match.

Guy: Oh yeah.

Sid: I wish we could go through like one week without someone getting creamed in the back corridor

Guy: WHAT!?!?

Blade vs. The Warrior Three
(first blood match)
Warrior three is already in the ring, then 'Blood Brother' by papa roach
hits the PA and blade drives down to the ring on a motorbike. He circles the
ring twice then gets off the bike and goes for Warrior Three.

Sid: Blade starts quickly, remember this is no holds barred, the first person to bleed loses.

Guy: Snap suplex and a leg drop, Warrior back up but Blade takes him down with a DDT.
Sid: I reckon Black Widow should fight Kid Money, it would be a good match.

Guy: Blade slowing the pace with a figure four leg lock. It would be good, but I think Black Widow would win.

Sid: Why?

Guy: She did beat Ashura.

Sid: True.

Guy: Warrior Three punches Blade, he breaks the hold and rolls out of the ring. He gets a chair from underneath the ring.

Sid: Warrior Three is by the ropes, Blade swings and misses, Warrior Three vaults over the ropes knocking Blade down.

Guy: Warrior Three has the chair! Smash! Blade takes it on the back, he's in
pain for sure.

Sid: Warrior Three slams the chair down again and again, it's bent right out of shape!

Guy: Like your momma then?

Sid: Shut the f--- up.

Guy: Warrior Three is coming over here, he's getting the ring bell!

Sid: He walks over to Blade, but is kicked in the chest! Dong! Blade cleans Warrior Three's clock with the bell, but he ain't bleeding!

Guy: Lucky for the warrior, however he is out cold!

Sid: True, which is just as bad.Sid: Blade taking control now, he rolls Warrior Thee back into the ring, and chucks the ring bell in after him.

Guy: Blade lifts Warrior up, big Gorilla Press Slam, he's holding him up for
ages, and slams him down with authority!

Sid: Blade hangs Warrior on the turnbuckle, his arms are hooked into the ropes!

Guy: Look out Blade has the ring bell, he smacked Warrior Thee round the
head with the ring bell again, but he still ain't bleeding!! This is truly stupid! Warrior must have a titanium skull!

Sid: Or very little brain power

Guy: Like your momma then?

Sid: .......

Guy: You really need to lighten up.

Sid: .......

Guy: Umm.....okay. Now blade is gonna swing again, Dong! Strike three you're out! Is the warrior bleeding?

Sid: Dunno. Look out, here comes preacher man!

Guy: Preacher man rolls into the ring, ducks the ring bell, a kick, Piledriver!

Sid: Now he picks blade up, off the ropes, look out the referee!

Guy: Preacher Man just cut the ref right open, he must be dead!

Sid: PREACHER MAN HAS KILLED THE REFEREE!!

Guy: Blade takes the advantage, kicks preacher man, here comes the Death Sentence! Nails it, Preacher man is out.

Sid: Warrior Three as regained consciousness, he tries to fight back with punches but Blade stops him with a DDT.

Guy: Blade with punches to the head, he's trying to wear Warrior down.

Sid: Now he's climbing the ropes, here comes a kamikaze headbutt, hits it
right on Warrior's head! Now he hauls him up, Shin Breaker, and Blade has locked on a figure four leg lock!

Guy: Now he's going for the leg as well.

Sid: He's got it locked in but I think he can see it's having little effect on Warrior, so he's let go.

Guy: It seems like only a matter of time before this match is over.
SMASH!

Sid: Hey wait, that's Stone Cold! What's he gonna do!?

Guy: He was victorious earlier on, now he's staring Blade down.

Sid: Blade swings, a block by austin, now he's hammering in rights and lefts. Off the ropes goes blade, high knee takes Blade down!

Guy: He's back up though, STUNNER! Blade got stunned, and now Austin is taking over as ref, we've seen this before!

Sid: He's walking around the ring, prods both men with his foot trying to wake them up.

Guy: Hey, Preacher man is stirring, he's kneeling up. Now he's back on his feet staggering a bit.

Sid: PM leaves the ring, gets a table and slides it in!

Guy: He's set the table up, and now he's left!

Sid: Warrior Three is back up too, now he's got Blade, sets him up on the table!

Guy: This is gonna hurt, Warrior Three has got the ring bell! He's on the second rope, this could finish Blade forever!

Sid: Smash! Warrior Three nearly took Blade's head off with the ring bell, the table is broken!

Guy: And Blade is bleeding! Austin calls for the bell, it's over!

Winner: The Warrior Three
Sid: A good match, but in the end Austin came to take care of blade for comments he made a few weeks ago.

Guy: Never the less, Blade was screwed!

Sid: That's true.

Guy: Now to our second to last match.

Angel vs. Madman
Sid: Angel is already in the ring, we're just waiting on Madman.

Everyone waits thirty seconds.

Guy: Well this is stupid. Come on Madman we ain't got all day. There is a deafening roar and the titan tron shows backstage. Vulcan Raven has attacked madman!

Sid: Vulcan Raven has set Madman up for a powerbomb through a table, don't do it!

Guy: Oh my god he did!

Sid: I say again can't we go through one card without someone getting their ass creamed?!

Guy: I'm saying nothing.....

Sid: Now Vulcan has a mic.

Vulcan: Angel, I'm coming for you. You wanted a fight, you got a fight!

Sid: Whoa! Vulcan Raven is gonna step in!

Angel vs. Vulcan Raven
Guy: Vulcan is charging to the ring, the whole arena is almost shaking!

Sid: Thunderous rights and lefts by Vulcan send Angel flying all over the place! Scoop slam and now Vulcan is roaring at the crowd they're booing.

Guy: He stomps Madman almost flat, now he picks him up with one hand, Chokeslam!!

Sid: This is ridiculous, it's just carnage!

Guy: The ref is checking on Angel, his back is turned here comes Bandit with a lead pipe. He leaps onto the apron! Vulcan swings but misses, Bandit smacks Vulcan Raven round the head with the iron pipe, the big man falls like a ton of bricks! Why did he attack Vulcan?

Sid: Vulcan did attack Madman in the back didn't he?

Guy: True.

Sid: Bandit has Slung the pipe underneath the ring, now he's just stood at ringside.

Guy: Hey look, Angel is moving!

Sid: He crawls over, cover 1...2..kick out by Vulcan Raven.

Guy: Angel picks him up, tries a scoop slam, but no way! But he hits a DDT, and now he's trying to get a sharpshooter on but the legs are too big!

Sid: Vulcan with a kick to the face, Angel goes flying. Uh oh Vulcan Raven is back up, DDT by Vulcan now he's.....he's going to the top rope!

Guy: He's gonna break the ring like Eskimo did last week!

Sid: Well he's crouching on the top, Angel gets back up, big flying clothesline by Vulcan, he nearly blasted Angel right out of his boots!

Guy: But Bandit is on the apron again, he throws a lead pipe into the ring, but Vulcan catches it!

Sid: Smack! He clocked Bandit with the lead pipe!

Guy: Look out Angel!

BONG!

Sid: Vulcan clocks Angel with it too, this match is over! The ref calls for the bell, it's a DQ.
Winner by DQ: Angel
Guy: But Vulcan isn't done, he's got angel now, Powerbomb! The mat neary broke with that one.

Sid: Vulcan bellows one more time, he's leaving.

Guy: He looks even more pissed off than he did before the match.

Sid: And look at what he's done! Bandit and angel have both been split wide open!

camera goes to nick's office. He's drinking a cold bruskey with Stone Cold and Goldburg.

Nick: Congrats on your win earlier. I was starting to get worried.

Goldburg: Don't be. We always take care of business.

Nick: I want you Goldburg to be the special referee for the Iron man match in a few minutes. Okay?

Goldburg: Sure. Okay.

Nick: Get going then. Me and Stone Cold gonna have an iron man match of our
own. With beer.

Goldburg leaves.

Sid: Well there you go. Goldburg is the referee and nick is just inebriated.

Guy: Let the good times roll.

Darkstalka vs. X-Terminator
X-Terminator is already in the ring when 'F--k off' by Kid Rock plays and Darkstalka comes out with a shopping trolley full of weapons.

Sid: Let me remind you this is an ironman match, so the most falls in a set time period wins.

Guy: Darkstalka has entered the ring.

BOOM! Goldburg's music hits and he comes down to the ring throwing air punches with the crowd cheering. He enters the ring and the bell rings.

Sid: Goldburg sure likes to make an entrance. Well the bell has rung. Darkstalka brawling with X-Terminator but he's knocked back. DDT by X-Terminator, 1..2..kickout, a slow count by Goldburg and X-Terminator is getting in the ref's face! Goldburg tells him to shut up and get on with it!

Guy: Pummel this idiot Goldburg!

Sid: He's the ref, it'd be stupid!

Guy: Austin does it all the time.

Sid: So go and complain to him.

Guy: f--k off you f----n' b-----d!

Sid: Darkstalka rolls from the ring, X-Terminator comes after him but is met with a chairshot! Now darkstalka pulls a casket from under the ring, he certainly doesn't waste any time does he?!

Guy: Shut up.

Sid: Darkstalka takes a dustbin into the ring, and puts it over X-Terminator's head, he's got the chair!

DONG!

Guy: Ha ha Darkstalka is smackin' the dustbin with the chair over and over, and one shot to the top of it for good luck! The bin is pulled off, X-Terminator must be seeing stars!

Sid: Piledriver, he'll be seeing more stars after that!

Guy: We've just been informed that this will be a fifteen minute match!

Sid: Okay. Darksider on X-Terminator, 1....2....3!

Guy: Darkstalka wins the first fall.

Darkstalka 1 X-Terminator 0
Sid: Now Darkstalka is resting for a minute or two while Goldburg checks on X-Terminator.

Guy: He looks okay from here.

Sid: You're only saying that cause you want more brutality.

Guy: Good point.

Sid: It's a shame X-Terminator has no friends, or someone might come down to help him.

Guy: Loner!!

Sid: We're five minutes in, and that's a proper five minutes not a 'Dragon Ball Z' five minutes where 5 minutes lasts 6 episodes! Damn you Goku, you died three times!

Guy: Errr...yeah. Okay.

Sid: Hail Lord Freiza!!

Guy: Sorry Sid, this is for your own good.

SMACK! Guy whacks sid with a chair.

Sid: Sorry about that. Thanks Guy.

Guy: That's quite alright. Any excuse to hit you with a chair.

Sid: .......

Guy: Anyway the minute is up Darkstalka leaves the ring and pushes the casket into the ring, this could be bad for X-Terminator.

Sid: Darkstalka has a baseball bat, he enters the ring again. He's trying to get X-Terminator into the casket but he fights back, knocking Darkstalka down.

Guy: Oh my god X-Terminator lifts the entire casket, SMASH! Darkstalka has to be finished now!

Sid: There's the cover 1....2...3! X-Terminator wins this fall.

Darkstalka 1 X-Terminator 1
Guy: Now X-Terminator is using the time to rest, he certainly needs it.
Goldburg has pulled the casket off Darkstalka, now he's checking on X-Terminator.

Sid: I'd like to take this opportunity to remind you about the PPV this thursday, don't forget to tune in.

Guy: Everyone already knew about it. Shut up.

Sid: X-Terminator is going under the ring, he's got a ladder! Look out from behind it's Ravage!

Guy: He sets the ladder up outside the ring, X-Terminator is on the floor! Splash from the top of the ladder, and Ravage is gone, the fans cheer him.

Sid: Darkstalka has the opportunity with ten minutes gone to finish this match! He probably won't get another chance!

Guy: He leaves the ring, baseball bat to X-Terminator, now he's bleeding.

Sid: Darkstalka is going to the top of the ladder, he's gonna finish X-Terminator with this move! He's got the baseball bat as well!

Guy: Here he comes! He leaps but X-Terminator gets a leg up and the baseball bat hits Darkstalka in the head splitting him open!

Sid: Now X-Terminator has the advantage. Goldburg begins the count, if they're both out then this match is a draw!

Guy: 1....2....3....4....5....6 X-Terminator is stirring! 7...8 he sits up! It looks like he got his second wind!

Sid: Now he's up, Piledriver on Darkstalka! He's gonna go for the pin!

Guy: What's that up in the sky? It looks like a person!

Sid: Lord Freiza has returned to rule over us! It's Freiza!

Guy: That's it I'm out of here. This is just too wierd!

Guy runs off through the crowd.

Sid: Where's guy gone? Who cares. Sparkles, come here!!

sid's dog 'sparkles' runs up to guy and sits on the chair. Sid puts Guy's headphones on it and it starts woofing.

Sid: You'll definately do a better job than Guy.

Sparkles: Woof woof woof!

Sid: Bow to the power of Lord Freiza! He's hovering over the stadium, hey wait he's gonna fire a destructo-disc at someone! Look out!

Freiza: HAHAHAHA! TAKE THIS AND REMEMBER THE DARKSIDE ALWAYS TRIUMPHS! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sid: He's fired the purple disc at X-Terminator, hey look out it's Goku!

Goku: I'm taking you down for good Freiza!

Sid: Goku blocks the disc, look out! Goku teleports behind Freiza! Look out Lord Freiza he has a sword!

Sparkles: WOOF WOOF WOOF! WOOF WOOF!

Sid: FREEEIIIIZZZAAA!

Goku slices Freiza inhalf with Trunks' sword.

Sid: NOOOOOOOO!! LORD FREIZA IS DEFEATED!!!

Darkstalka takes advantage and school boys X-Terminator for a pin just as
the bell sounds.

Winner: Darkstalka
Sid: LORD FREIZA! NOOOOOOOOO! YOU WERE SO CLOSE!

Sparkles: WOOF!

The camera cuts as Sid falls from his chair crying and sparkles takes a
whizz against a TV camera.

RMWF

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Page Updated Sat May 19, 2001 6:38am EDT