Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives/10_27_00_Friday_Night

Will it ever stop , once again in ugly lime green The RMWF brings you Friday Night Slam !!!

Guy Mandel " Welcome Rmwf fans to another addition of Friday Night Slam .."

SiD " the King " Nasty : What creative card names we have here ..."

Guy " Tonight is a NO bull poop , all serious card .. No , Bad Andy , NO Diablo The Sewer Monster , not even midgets under the ring .... Just straight out serious wrestling.."

SiD " Remember when Goldust was our most whacked out wrestler ??? Now he is nothing compared to what we have seen here ... "

Guy " Thats why tonight we are just gonna concentrate on wrestling ... But first lets go to a clip , recorded earlier ..."

( We see The Prez sitting next to a hospital bed , CSD his personal body guard is standing behind him ... In the bed lays Neep leader of N.W.O.... )

The Prez " Sorry , your sick Grant but things are falling apart ... You gotta get back soon or I'm gonna have to disband The Corporate Stable .. No one is left , not Showtime , not Pulverizer , no one ... Get better and we'll talk if you ever come back ...

SiD " Hugh , poor Prez he has no one to carry out his dirty work ..."

Guy " Maybe he will hire a new stable to carry out his plans , we will have to wait and see ... But now on to our first match !!!"

Jamal -vs- Papi Chulo -vs- Test
( Blah , blah all men make there way to the ring to there music and so on ..)

Guy " Here we go as Test and Jamal team up on Papi ..."

SiD " No sign of Jamal's Dad thats good .."

Guy " Jamal fly swats Papi , and then Test pile drives him .."

SiD " What the hell is that fly swat thing ???"

Guy " Like this .."

SiD " Oh OK ..."

Guy " Test sends Papi Chulo into the turnbuckle as Jamal leaves the ring ??"

SiD " He see something shiney on the floor ... What is it , oh its a quarter ..."

Guy " Jamal is dancing around screaming ... I don't want to offend the mentaly handicap but to paint a picture he is dancing like a retard ... Hands in the air , stiff jaw yelling and drooling ... Papi escapes the ring from Test and bumps into Jamal ... Jamal yells , NO , and grips his quarter ... Now he is going into one of those spats .."

SiD " Yes , flailing his arms and legs screaming ..."

Guy " Papi is being pummeled as he ducks and covers ..."

SiD " We're gonna get in trouble for this , this is bad ... I thought this was suppose to be a regular wrestling card ???"

Guy " Well , it is The RMWF ... Hey , we are the only equal oppurtunity fed out there .. We got African Americans , Women , Mentally Handicapped . We should get a reward not in trouble .."

SiD " This is no special olympics , Guy ... This is sad and cruel .."

Guy " Hey if Jamal wants to wrestle he can . You have no right to tell him no ... Papi finally gets away from Jamal , but he is busted open ... Test comes off the top rope and lands a double ax handle on Papi outside of the ring .. Test picks up Papi and slams him through a table and now he has a chair ..."

SiD " This is Papi's first match and from the looks of it his last ..."

Guy " Test is beating Papi with the chair , and he is bleeding all over the place ..."

FINISH HIM !!!
SiD " What is this mortal combat ???"

Guy " I guess so Jamal just ripped Papi Chulo's head off and is showing it to the crowd."

SiD " Nice normal card tonight , yeah right .."

Guy " Jamal is so excited he is doing The Butt ... Test is confused and just walks away wanting no part of this madness , making Jamal the winner ..."

Winner : Jamal
SiD " MMMM that was exciting ..."

( The Prez is in his office as CSD gives him a pedicure ... Just then Fraser Newlands busts in ... )

Fraser " We have a problem ..."

The Prez " What now , Bad Andy in the crack again ???"

Fraser " No , follow me .."

( Fraser leads The Prez to Darkstalka's dressing room and the door is kicked in ... There is a pool of blood and no sign of Darkstalka .. )

The Prez " Well I hope he is OK , he's got a mtch tonight .. He'll be bitch'in if he has to forfeit it because someone screwed him .."

Fraser " What should we do ???"

The Prez " Put Clive Anderson on it , he will get to the bottom of it ..."

Fraser " OK , if you never want to find him again ..."

( The Prez walks off waving back at Fraser like who cares and we go back to Guy and SiD ..)

SiD " Wonder what happened to Darkstalka but if Clive is on the case we may never find him .. Well on to the next match ..."

Leapin Lenny Poppo -vs- Drop Dead Kid
Guy " Leapin Lenny comes out and is ready to read a poem .."

( Lenny reads his poem making fun of Drop Dead Kid then tosses out frisbees to the crowd ...)

Guy " Drop Dead Kid makes his way to the ring and Lenny flings his last frisbee at him .. Kid on the ring apron and Lenny meets him with a spear that sends him back onto the
floor .. Lenny leaps over the top rope and crushes Kid with a flying body press .."

SiD " Thats why they call him Leapin Lenny ... Oh god I can't believe I just said that , what is wrong with me ????"

Guy " Leapin has Kid by the hair and sends him face first into our table , then climbs back into the ring .."

SiD " Did you ever see that movie Drop Dead Fred ???"

Guy " No , I have taste but why ???"

SiD " I was just wondering if thats where this guy got his name from ???"

Guy " I sure hope not .. Drop Dead is now back into the ring and is taken down by a clothesline ... Leapin Lenny wtih a standing moonsault , hooks a leg and goes for a pin , 1..2 kick out by The Kid .. Drop Dead Kid gets up and dodges a punch by Lenny , then counters with a russian leg sweep .. Kid with a scoop slam , the follows up with a whip into the ropes ... Lenny ducks a clothesline and wraps The Kid in a sleeper ..."

SiD " That move never works , why even bother ..."

Guy " Hey , you never know in this place .. Drop Dead is going limp the ref raises his arm once and it falls .."

SiD " Bet it comes back up the third time ..."

Guy " It falls twice , oh man this is suspenceful ... The ref raises the arm of Drop Dead Kid for the third time ... If he fails to keep it up and show he is not asleep the match will be over ... Making Leapin Lenny the winner by submission and 2-1 ..."

SiD " Just DO IT ALREADY !!!! "

Guy " It fell , HIS ARM FELL !!! I don't think that has ever happened in pro-fessional wrestling a sleeper hold worked !!!"

SiD " Well , paint me red and call me a bad boy as you spank my little tushy .."

Winner : Leapin Lenny Poppo

( Clive Anderson is standing by outside in the parking lot ..)

" This is Clive Anderson with a report on the status of Darkstalka , as of right now we still have no idea where he is .. I started my search in his dressing room but turned up no clues but a pool of blood .. Is it Darkstalka's blood ?? We have no way of knowing .. The most obvious place to start looking was in Slezy D's dressing room because he is Darkstalka's opponent for tonight ... The only problem is Slezy D has not arrived at the arena yet , or we have not seen him arrive ... I was out of options until I got an annonymous tip about the parking lot ... After a careful search I have found some blood by this 1985 Monte Carlo , and after some help from the RMWF janitor crew we helped ourselves into the trunk and found this ...

( Clive holds up a bloody crow bar and some rags ... )

" After a little more digging we found out this car belongs to Wild Kat of A New Dawn , is she responsible , why is she even here tonight ... I will try to answer these questions and find Darkstalka before his match tonight , back to Guy and SiD .."

SiD " How about why is she driving a Monte Carlo ???"

Guy " Sounds a little dodgy to me , well on to our next match .. Making his first appearance on Friday Night Stone Cold Steve Austin .."

Steve Austin -vs- Sauderer
SiD " Sauderer is that the same as sodomize ???

Guy " How did you get sodomize from Sauderer , where is you mind ???"

SiD " On fourteen year old girls .."

Guy " WHAT ???"

SiD " Disrigard that , please .. Been working in this fed for to long .."

Guy " Stone Cold is in the ring and here comes Sauderer .. Stone meets him with a boot to the midesection before he can get into the ring and helps him over the ropes with a suplex . Sauderer gets up only to be met by a big right hand from Stone Cold .. Stone Cold slams Sauderer to the mat , then picks him up and whips him into the ropes .. Sauderer comes off the ropes and catches Stone Cold with a flying cross body , they both go down to the mat hard and both come up swinging ..."

SiD " Sauderer should not get into a brawl with Stone Cold or he is not gonna come out of this .."

Guy " Wow , did you actually say something intelligent about the match ... Stone Cold is pounding on Saud , lets just call him Saud for short .. But Saud gets a knee up into Austin's balls and sends him rolling in pain .."

SiD " Thats one way to hurt him , knock his balls off .."

Guy " Sauderer with a boot to Steve's head then he picks him up and sends him back down with an atomic slam .. Stone Cold in trouble now as Sauderer takes him back down with an inverted suplex ... He gets the cover but Austin kicks out easily and gets up rubbing his bald head .. Saud with a double ax handle from behind and Steve just turns around looking even more pissed .. Sauderer with a big right hand and Steve blocks its and gives him his own right hand sending Sauderer flying back ... Stone Cold with a leaping clothesline takes down Saud and now he sets him up for a piledriver ..."

SiD " Thats the bald white trash that I know , yeah kick his ass ... I hate Sauderer jut because of his name .."

Guy " Yeah me too he has to change it to something that makes sence .. Stone Cold with a press slam and now he is setting him up for a Stone Cold Stunner the cover 1..2..3 and its over folks ..."

Winner : " Stone Cold " Steve Austin

" Clive Anderson here still searching for Darkstalka but to no avail ... Neep from N.W.O. has gotten out of his hospital bed and made his way to The RMWF office ... The Prez has briefed him on the situation and as we speak N.W.O. are searching and questioning the wrestlers , here are some statements that we're taken :

Jamal " Yes .."

Bandit and Madman " X-Treme Inc have done some of the greatest attacks in The RMWF but in NO WAY are we responsible for the attack on Darkstalka .. We have no idea where he is or if he is still alive . We just wish we got him first .."

Balls Mohoney " Hey , I kicked his ass last Friday , I don't need to sneak up on him in his dressing room ... If I wanted to get rid of him I would of done it in the ring .."

A New Dawn " We have no bussiness with Darkstalka ... Whoever did it is trying to frame Wild Kat . We also have no comment on why Wild Kat drives a Monte Carlo .."

Ravage " We will find Darkstalka and who did this to him ... ABSTRKT does not take nicely to one of our members being ambushed .. If Slezy D is behind this then he better not show his face ..."

Clive " Those are the statements we have gotten ... In more news Slezy D did just show up to the arena and has an alibi .. Also the blood in Darkstalka's dressing room is his own and matches the blood on the crow bar and rags in the trunk of the car .. We are fearing the worst as one of The RMWF greats may be dead ... The Prez has vowed to punish whoever is behind this attack .. Now back to Clive and SiD .."

SiD " Wow , I hope he is not dead ..."

Guy " Why do you care .."

SiD " I don't it just seemed the correct thing to say ..."

Bandit -vs- Rebel ( T.V. Title )
Guy " Well this one has been heating up for a while ... The first member of the re-vamped RMWF , Bandit and new comer Rebel in a ladder match for the TV belt .."

SiD " Yeah oh god have we been dealing with Bandit for that long !!! Oh , god have I worked in a fed that had a cartoon character as there champ that long ???"

Guy " The question is can Rebel survive a ladder match with Bandit ?? We have seen a lot of people in this fed come and go but only the strong can survive . For Bandit to be here from almost the full beginning that takes a lot of strength and sanity .."

SiD " Yes , with people being shot and kidnapped ... Set on fire and so on it takes a tough man to last this long . I may hate him but I got to say Bandit is one of our toughest members ..."

Guy " ENOUGH , let the match begin ."

SiD " Yes , sir ."

Guy " Bandit and Rebel stare at each other circling the ring . The TV belt hangs above the ring and the first man to grab it gets to keep it . The ladders to reach the belt are on everyside of the ring and you may use them anyway creativly you can think of .."

SiD " Yeah like bashing each other over the head with them .."

Guy " Very creative SiD . Both men lock up and push each other back .. Now Bandit charges at Rebel only to be side stepped and knocked down .. Bandit gets up and lands a big roundhouse that spins Rebel around then he sends him flying with a standing dropkick .."

SiD " These two should team up because Bandit is a bandit and Rebel is a rebel . They could start a thiefs guild .."

Guy " WHAT are you talking about .."

SiD " I don't know , I'm running out of things to say .."

Guy " Then just shut up .. Bandit with a scoop slam sends Rebel to the mat .. Now Bandit has one of the ladders from outside the ring and he spins with it slammimg it down on Rebel ... Bandit is laying on top of the ladder , on top of Rebel looks like he hurt himself .. Rebel pushes the ladder off and crawls to the side of the ring to get the cobwebs out of his head ..."

SiD (____________ insert stupid joke here

Guy " Bandit is holding his arm this could be trouble .. Rebel has the ladder now and he trys to slam it ontop of Bandit but he rolls out of the way .. Rebel with a big swing of the ladder nails Bandit behind the head as he trys to get up ..."

SiD " Yeah Bandit must of came down funny on the ladder before .. He is nursing his right arm really bad .. We might have a new TV champ here if rebel is smart enough to take advantage of it .."

Guy " Rebel slams the ladder down on Bandit then stomps on it a few times ... Bandit is in pain as we can see it on his face but he kicks off the ladder and foot sweeps Rebel .."

SiD " He is a warrior no broken arm is gonna keep him from defending his belt .."

Guy " Is it broken though , maybe its a ploy to make rebel think he is hurt ..."

SiD " Good call Guy those X-Treme Inc guys are tricky bastards ..."

Guy " Bandit flips Rebel over with one arm then gives him a knee drop .. As he is getting up Rebel grabs his bad arm and yanks him down ..."

SiD " I could hear Bandit scream all the way over here ...

Guy " Hold on we just got word that Neep of N.W.O. has found Darkstalka , we will update you after this match .. Rebel tosses Bandit out of the ring and starts to set up the ladder undernieth the TV belt ..."

SiD " This is it Rebel may win the TV belt after only his second match .."

Guy " Bandit is slowly climbing back into the ring and Rebel is starting to climb the ladder .. Rebel sees Bandit and comes over to kick him in the head .. Then he pushes Bandit out of the ring again ... Bandit however grabs Rebels foot as he falls out of the ring and drags him out with him .. Bandit is punching Rebel on the ground but Rebel twists his bad arm again and Bandit rolls over in pain .. Rebel trys to get up and Bandit trips him and the crowd is laughing ... Rebel is pissed as he takes a chair and jams it into Bandits arm then he jumps up and slams it down .."

SiD " Look I think Bandit just passed out from the pain .."

Guy " Sure looks like it as Bandit is not moving ... But wait here comes Madman and Violater .."

SiD " Isn't Violater dead ???"

Guy " Its a new Violater , Rebel turns in time to be hit by Madman of X-Treme Inc .. Violater picks up the chair and smashed Rebel as Madman climbs in the ring ..."

SiD " What are these faggots up to now ???"

Guy " Madman grabs the TV belt and jumps out of the ring smashing it over Rebels head , then e slings Bandit over is shoulder andd they leave .."

SiD " Shucks spoiled again by X-Treme Inc ..."

Winner : by DQ Rebel

Guy " So Rebel wins but does not get the TV belt .. I can see a rematch in the future , we will also try and get word about the status of Bandit's arm but now back to Clive who is standing by with Darkstalka .."

Guy " Hold on we just got word that Neep of N.W.O. has found Darkstalka , we will update you after this match .. Rebel tosses Bandit out of the ring and starts to set up the ladder undernieth the TV belt ..."

SiD " This is it Rebel may win the TV belt after only his second match .."

Guy " Bandit is slowly climbing back into the ring and Rebel is starting to climb the ladder .. Rebel sees Bandit and comes over to kick him in the head .. Then he pushes Bandit out of the ring again ... Bandit however grabs Rebels foot as he falls out of the ring and drags him out with him .. Bandit is punching Rebel on the ground but Rebel twists his bad arm again and Bandit rolls over in pain .. Rebel trys to get up and Bandit trips him and the crowd is laughing ... Rebel is pissed as he takes a chair and jams it into Bandits arm then he jumps up and slams it down .."

SiD " Look I think Bandit just passed out from the pain .."

Guy " Sure looks like it as Bandit is not moving ... But wait here comes Madman and Violater .."

SiD " Isn't Violater dead ???"

Guy " Its a new Violater , Rebel turns in time to be hit by Madman of X-Treme Inc .. Violater picks up the chair and smashed Rebel as Madman climbs in the ring ..."

SiD " What are these faggots up to now ???"

Guy " Madman grabs the TV belt and jumps out of the ring smashing it over Rebels head , then e slings Bandit over is shoulder andd they leave .."

SiD " Shucks spoiled again by X-Treme Inc ..."

Winner by DQ : Rebel

Guy " So Rebel wins but does not get the TV belt .. I can see a rematch in the future , we will also try and get word about the status of Bandit's arm but now back to Clive who is standing by with Darkstalka .."

( Clive Anderson is standing by with Darkstalka who is looking banged up ... Dried blood covers him and one eye is shut , he looks like stir fried crap on a bad day ..)

Clive " This is Clive Anderson standing by with Darkstalka who was found in his closet tied up and beaten .."

SiD " They never looked for him in his own dressing room , oh god what morons .."

( Just then Darkstalka grabs the mic ...)

Darkstalka " I don't know who did this to me but you will be found out .. YOU ARE THE ONE BEING HUNTED NOW !!!!"

Clive " There you heard it an investigation is being made , and Darkstalka will fight in his match tonight .."

Guy " Well you just heard it the attacker of Darkstalka has not been found but The Prez is leading an investigation .. Word on Bandit is he just sprained his right arm and should be all right , we will keep you updated .. Now on to our main event .."

SiD " I thought Bandit / Rebel was our main event ?"

Guy " Well The Darkstalka / Slezy D match had to be postponed 'till they found Darkstalka so this is now the main event .."

( out of room go to next link )

RMWF

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Page Updated Sat May 19, 2001 6:38am EDT