Sunday Night Slam 10-22-00 - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives/10_22_00_Sunday_Night

The RMWF's music hits and Sunday Night Slam starts, fireworks explode and
the camera cuts to the announcers table.
Sid: Hello everybody and welcome to Sunday Night Slam. I'm Sid 'The King'
Nasty here with Riley Finn. Tonight we have three first round cage title
matches as well as the debut of areala the warrior nun and Balls Mahoney
takes on Rodent in a scaffolding match.
Guy: This should be a good card, so lets get on with it.

Blade vs. Eskimo
Sid: Both are already in the ring, so lets fight!
Guy: Look at eskimo! He' almost as fat as Steve Eggs Hard! Well, almost.
Sid: Oh great, now we all have to deal with the fat jokes. Woopee.
Guy: Shut up sid and call the match.
Sid: Blade tries a scoop slam, but forget it, that ain't ever gonna happen.
Eskimo picks him up, big side walk slam!!
Guy: He nearly squashed him then. 1...2..Blade kicks out. Eskimo off the
ropes, be careful Eskimo you might break them!
Sid: Shut the f--- up. He goes for a leg drop but Blade moves. The whole
ring shook!
Guy: Reminds me of your mother walking.
Sid: Take this asshole!
Sid swings at Guy and knocks him off his chair.
Guy: You'll pay for that assgoblin!
Guy boots sid in the head, and grabs his chair.
Guy: Who's laughing now!?
Guy smashes sid over the head with the chair.
Sid: Asshole, you're lucky I ain't an angry person. Call the match.
Guy: Blade kicks and punches eskimo's chest, but it has no effect, he
clotheslines Eskimo, he doesn't budge.
Sid: You can't move this man. Eskimo, belly to belly suplex! He's walking
around, pumping up the crowd. What's he doing now? He's sitting on the top
turnbuckle, if he splashes him, it'll end Blade's career!
Guy: Holy s--- the turnbuckle broke! The pads have fallen off, and Eskimo is
laid out flat, he hit his head on the ring post! The ropes have snapped!
Sid: Well, he's the only man in the fed fat enough to do that and stupid
enough to try that, so he got what he deserved.
Guy: Blade is back up, he's picking Eskimo up, DEATH SENTENCE!!
Sid: 1...2...3!! This match is over quickly.

Winner: Blade
Guy: That has to be one of the funniest things ever! Eskimo broke the ring,
he succeeded in doing what Steve Eggs couldn't.
Sid: Steve was never stupid enough to try and sit on the turnbuckle.
Guy: Good point, now onto our next match.

Sid: Now to our next match.

Leapin Lenny Poppo vs. The Warrior Three
Guy: Well this should be a good match. Warrior starts off quickly with a
Dragon Screw, now he's got lenny in a Figure Four, but he fights back and
breaks the hold. A kick to the face, and lenny springs back up.
Sid: He's standing over warrior three, kicking the crap out of him! That's
gonna hurt bad.
Guy: This is gonna be wierd cause the ropes haven't been fixed from the
match with Eskimo, so this is almost a hardcore match!
Sid: Lenny has the turnbuckle, aaaw he just whacked warrior three on the
head with it! 1...2 Warrior is quickly up.
Guy: He's fighting back, DDT and a knee stomp. Off the ropes, knee drop!
Sid: Lenny looks like he's in quite a lot of pain. He's wincing and holding
his chest.
Guy: Warrior Three is relentless, picks him up, russian leg sweep and knocks
him back down. 1...2 kickout by lenny. Hey, it looks like Warrior Three has
moral support, the Preacher Man is coming down to the ring. He's clapping
Warrior Three and telling him to continue.
Sid: Warrior Three shrugs and carries on, he's beating Lenny senseless! Now
he's on the top rope, driving elbow! He almost split his head open! Warrior
Three is in total control, Warrior Three has overpowered him.
Guy: We have a backstage report from Clive, so lets go back there!

Clive: Thankyou guy! Just a little while ago one of the cameramen told me he
had been walking down the corridor, when he'd heard what sounded like an
engine of some sort from the garage. He ran off scared when he heard a
gunshot. Nobody is sure what this means, but perhaps we will find out at
some point tonight! This is Clive Anderson reminding you that drugs are only
illegal if you get caught.

Sid: Yeah......thanks Clive.
Guy: I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Clive is an idiot.
Sid: We all know that.
Guy: While the cameras were backstage, the match continued and Warrior Three
carried on pounding Lenny.
Sid: Warrior Three setting him up for a piledriver. He hits it! 1...2...3!
NO !HE DIDN'T GET HIM!
Guy: We all thought it was over then.
Sid: He picks lenny up, here comes the holy grail! No lenny reversed it into
a Brainbuster!
Guy: Now lenny is back up, he saved some energy and he's using it now! DDT
and a succession of leg drops! Warrior Three staggers to his feet, he's met
by a Spine Buster. 1..2..almost a pinfall.
Sid: Lenny picks him up, charges at him.
Guy: Warrior Three counters with a low blow!
Sid: Warrior Three with a kick, powerbomb coming up!!
Guy: He's going for it, perfectly executed!
Sid: Now here comes the holy grail, he's set up, and there it is!
Guy: 1..2...3!! Warrior Three advances to the next round of the cage
tourney.
Sid: A good match, and warrior three's experience came through for him in
the end!

Winner: The Warrior Three
Guy: Next is the jackass versus a mystery opponent.
Jackass vs. Mystery Opponent
Sid: Jackass is already in the ring. We're waiting for the opponent.
Guy: Hey, what's that noise? It sounds like an engine or something.
Sid: Oh my god, IT'S A SHERMAN TANK!!!! JACKASS HAS TO FACE A SHERMAN TANK!!
Guy: The hatch is open, who's that!
A huge, muscley man sticks his bald head out of the hatch. He's tattoed. He
sounds like Arnold Schwartzennegger.
Man: My name is Vulcan Raven, and now I will destroy you jackass!
Vulcan: You cannot stop me and my tank, I will grind you under my tracks!
Jackass: I'm gonna shove a grenade into your tank and blow you to bits!
Vulcan: Let's fight!
Jackass vs. Vulcan Raven (in Sherman Tank)
Sid: Okay, this is even stranger than normal. Jackass vs........a sherman
tank.
Guy: Ummm.....let's just call the match, though it does seem a little
unfair, I mean putting a man against a tank.
Sid: Hey, who cares.
Guy: The hatch is down, Vulcan's tank whirrs into life! Hey look out, the
cannon is gonna fire!
Sid: It fires and Jackass leaps to one side, it blasted a chunk out of the Guy: Jackass is looking at the ring with disbelief! It's been reduced to a
big pile of metal!
Sid: The tank's turret is turning, Jackass is ducking behind the barrier.
Look out!! BOOM! The barrier takes a hit, hey Vulcan just killed about ten
fans!
Guy: I knew this fed was a lawsuit just waiting to happen!
Sid: We'll blame it on other fans, all the other feds do!
Guy: Amen to that.
Sid: Now Jackass is charging up the ramp, straight at the Sherman tank, is
he mad!?
Guy: Probably.
Sid: Oh heck, this cannon's got a machine gun too! It shoots, scoring a line
of holes in the ramp behind Jackass!
Guy: This tank is tearing the arena apart! Jackass is climbing onto it, he's
stood on top of the tank, the fans are cheering!
Sid: He's pulling at the hatch, hey, the machine gun fires, shooting jackass
through the chest! Blood is spurting from him all over the tank.
Guy: He wrenches the machine gun off and throws it into the crowd, oh boy
this could be expensive if the fans go on a killing spree!
Sid: At least it would be an entertaining killing spree.
Guy: That's true.
Sid: The cover is open, Jackass is peering down into the tank.
Guy: aaawww, a massive fist just sent Jackass flying!
Sid: What the!? Vulcan Raven has pulled himself out of the tank, he must be
eight feet tall! And.....he's got a chaingun!!
Guy: This is going too far. You can't have a chaingun in a wrestling fed!
Sid: You go and tell him.
Guy: No thanks.
Sid: Vulcan Raven fires into the air, what's up with this guy! He's
destroying the lighting. He seems to be enjoying it.
Guy: Jackass sneaks up behind him, chop block on the tank, now he's kneeling
over him, punching Vulcan again and again!
Sid: But Vulcan smashes the chaingun into Jackasses face! He's dropped it on
the floor, oh great we've just supplied another fan with a lethal weapon.
Guy: This is definately gonna be an expensive night!
Sid: Scoop slam on the tank, cover by Raven and a kickout. Now a succession
of stomps, and a elbow drop.
Guy: 1...2..kickout again. Vulcan Raven drags him from the tank,
Jackass hits the ramp hard. He's going for a piledriver on the ramp, no,
he'll break Jackasses neck!
Sid: But he did it! He piledrivered him!
Guy: Now Vulcan is standing up, he just bellowed deafeningly loud! He's
gonna finish Jackass for good with an eight foot Powerbomb!
Sid: He's set him up, hey Jackass reversed it with a hurricanrana!
1...2....3! HE DID IT! HE DID IT! HE DID IT!
Guy: Jackass has beaten the big eight footer, and a Sherman tank!
Sid: This is ridiculous, he overcame amazing odds!
Winner: Jackass
Guy: Jackass goes through to the semi final triple threat match next sunday.
Sid: The semi finals will be as follows:
Slezy D vs. Kid Money
Eskimo vs. The Warrior Three vs. Jackass
Guy: Now to the next match
ring, the prez ain't gonna be happy when he hears that the ring was
destroyed by a tank.
Guy: More to the point, I don't think he'll believe it.
Sid: This is our main event of the night.
Balls Mahoney vs. Rodent (scaffold match)
Guy: Rodent is already in the ring.
'I've got big balls' by AC/DC hits the PA and Balls Mehoney comes down to
the ring.
Sid: Rodent pounces on Balls, scoop slam and then a spine buster.
Guy: This man is huge! He's standing head and shoulders over his foe.
Sid: He's not as big as Vulcan Raven though!
Guy: That's true.

Sid: With the ring gone, this scaffolding is stood on concrete! This could
be very painful if someone falls.
Guy: Here's hoping.
Sid: Balls rams Rodent's head into the scaffold, again and again and again!
Rodent is staggering, Balls is starting to climb the tower, to try and get
the 100,000 dollars!
Guy: Hey look out! Rodent is pushing the scaffold, he could dump Balls off
it into the crowd! He's gonna try!
Sid: He shakes the scaffolding, but Balls grabs a support strut. Oh no,
Rodent has pulled the scaffold away! Balls is hanging!
Guy: Rodent climbing for the cash, surely balls can't stop him! Rodent is
half way up, but balls is making his way along the strut with his arms! He
kicks Rodent in the face, and now he's on top of the scaffold too! The bag
is just out of reach!
Sid: Oh this is a dangerous situation, they're slugging it out on top of the
scaffold, it's swinging perilously! We could have a fatality now.
Guy: Kick by Rodent! Oh this is insane! Surely he's not gonna powerbomb him
from the top! Someone stop this now!!
Sid: Balls pulls his legs out, now he's stomping him on the top and the fans
are chanting his name! The wooden platform snapped! They just dropped a
level!
Guy: What the hell!? Both men are down near the top, they can't reach the
money now.
'The Kids Aren't Alright' by offspring hits the PA and nick walks out with a
mic.
Nick: Seeing as neither man can reach the money, this match is now a
anywhere falls match, and I shall be referee!
Sid: Well there's a revelation, nick is the referee. Both men have made
their way down, and now they lock up. Lefts and rights by Rodent, knee to
the chest and a Rib Breaker.
Guy: He picks Balls up, now he's taking him to the guard rail, slams his
head into it, and throws him over. Nick is right behind them.
Sid: Rodent covers him 1...2..kick out by Balls Mahoney.
Guy: Rodent taking him through the crowd, he's got a chair!
Sid: Smack, balls gets the chair over his head, but he's not affected! He's
telling Rodent to do it again!
Guy: He's hit him five times, now balls with a big left punch, he's got the
chair! Smash! He sends Rodent to the floor, the chair has a huge indent!
Sid: 1...2...no, somehow Rodent kicked out.
Guy: They're at the balcony at the start of the second section of chairs,
fighting by the edge.
Sid: Hey look, nick has set up two tables below, I guess he's improving the
match as he goes along!
Guy: Rodent goes for a Powerslam, blocked, Balls setting him up on the edge!
Sid: Nutcracker Suite through the tables! Nick is there for the count!
Guy: 1...2....3! It's over! Balls Mahoney has won the damn match, and got
100,000 dollars of our money!

Winner: Balls Mahoney
Sid: Some of those matches were pretty crap, but that last one was extreme!
Guy: We hope you will join us next time for Sunday Night Slam!
Sid: For Guy Mandell, this is Sid 'the king' Nasty, saying goodfight goodnight!!

RMWF

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Page Updated Sat May 19, 2001 6:38am EDT