Wednsday Night Havok 10-18-00 - Wrestling - http://maxpages.com/rmwfarchives/10_18_00_Wednsday_Night

" Guy Mandell here in the heart of Motown, The Apollo Theater with SiD 'The King' Nasty for yet another installment of Wednsday Night Havok "

SiD " Isn't it amazing how they fit a wrestling ring in here "

Guy " Yes it is "

SiD " Where's Sinbad and Kiki Shepard??? "

Guy " I don't know .. I haven't been here since I saw Willy Tyler and Lester when I was a kid "

SiD " Oh well .. Let's get this show rolling then "

Guy " Tonight we have a TV title rematch tonight and a bunch of other stuff .. But first we go over to Jimmy for the Neep and Sharon beer drinking contest "

SiD " Oh god "

Neep -vs- Sharon
" Jimmy Kimmel here from Win Ben Stein's Money and The Man Show backstage with IC champ Neep and the hot little piece named Sharon. This match up is simple they drink and drink until the other passes out. Sounds simple right??? Alright you two that Boddington's is ready .. Start drinking!!!! They both grab their first pints and guzzle them down .. I'll update you on the progress after this next match "

SiD " Who we got up now??? "

Guy " Harlowe and Jamal "

SiD " Not Jamal!!! Christ why doesn't he just give it up already???? "

Guy " Beats me "

Harlowe -vs- Jamal
( '2 Legit 2 Quit' by MC Hammer hits the PA as Jamal dances his way out to the ring to meet Harlowe. )

SiD " Why do they even drag Jamal out to fight???? They should just let him stay at home and watch his dad smoke crack and just give the win away "

Guy " True .. I think though by letting Jamal wrestle the Prez fills a quota for hiring the handicaped or something "

SiD " I think the Prez just gets a kick out of watching him get his ass beat "

Guy " Well that too "

SiD " There's Jamal bear-hugging Harlowe!!!! Harlowe is punching Jamal in the face trying to get free .. Jamal head-butts him then throws him aside!!!! Harlowe drop-kicks Jamal and slaps on a figure-four!!!! "

Guy " Harlowe releases him and is coughing and waving at his nose???? "

SiD " Jamal farted "

Guy " I guess so .. Jamal taking advantage of Harlowe's reaction to the fart fly-swats him!!!!! Jamal bounces off the toprope and an atomic-butt!!!! "

SiD " Jamal sure likes using his butt "

Guy " Well at least he doesn't wrestle naked "

SiD " Agreed "

Guy " Harlowe side-belly suplex's Jamal "

SiD " So .. You never did tell me if you missed me when i was gone last week or not "

Guy " Well considering the guy I had to work with .. I did "

SiD " Awww that's so sweet!!!! "

Guy " Go to hell "

SiD " Yeah I heard you got the RMWF banned in Japan now .. Way to go slick!!!! "

Guy " Shut up .. Harlowe just gave Jamal a wedgie!!!! "

SiD " Wedgies .. Farts .. This is like a f---ing fight between third-graders "

Guy " Hey I hear Pig Vomit is working on a new movie "

SiD " Do I care??? It's probably worse than farts and wedgies "

Guy " It's supposed to have nudity .. "

SiD " Oooh really???? Cool "

Guy " Harlowe with a pin "

SiD " Big surprise "

Guy " Right "

Winner: Harlowe
Guy " Here comes Sandman Simms with a broom sweeping at Jamal to go away!!!!! "

SiD " Hahaha!!! I love the Apollo "

Guy " Kid Money up next .. But first over to Jimmy for an update "

Neep -vs- Sharon (cont.)
Jimmy " Ok now .. Neep has polished off oh I'd say ten pints to Sharon's eight so far and now waiting for her to catch up so we can bring out the Guinness .. She's done .. Both ten pints loaded and here comes the good stuff!!! Oh yea!!! I wish the producer's would've had me in this match .. Neep doesn't even bother waiting for the glasses to be filled .. He's pounding it from the pitcher!!!! I guess the man likes his Guinness. Sharon starts knocking back the pints like they were water!!! Damn a girl like my mother!!!! Back to SiD and Guy "

Kid Money -vs- The Crow
SiD " Why is there a table and chairs set up in the ring???? "

Guy " This is a Russian Ruillette match "

SiD " Why wasn't I told this before hand???? "

Guy " Didn't you read the memo??? "

SiD " ...... "

Guy " I'm sorry .. I forgot you can't read "

SiD " Yeah yeah yeah .. Ring girl Jenna Jameson approaches the table as Kid Money and The Crow seat themselves .. She holds a nickle plated revolver up showing the empty chambers and loads a single bullet "

Guy " She places it on the table and gives it a spin .. It points to Crow .. So he's first "

SiD " He arrogantly picks up the gun puts it to his head and CLICK!!! It doesn't fire "

Guy " Now it's Kid Money's turn .. He follows the same steps and the gun remains unfired "

SiD " This is kind of cool .. Like The Deer Hunter "

Guy " Yeah it is .. Jenna takes the gun and loads another bullet into it .. She spins the chamber then snaps it shut and hands it over to The Crow "

SiD " That's a six chamber right???? "

Guy " I think so "

SiD " Well Crow lives for now .. Kid Money places the barrel to his temple BAM!!!! There goes his head!!! "

Guy " Oh stop it .. Kid Money didn't shoot himself "

SiD " Hey I'm just trying to cut the tension "

Guy " Jenna placing another bullet in the gun before giving it to Crow again "

SiD " That's three out of six now "

Guy " Well it's good you can count at least my illiterate co-announcer "

SiD " f--- off .. There's just some things you shouldn't make fun of "

Guy " I find it odd that you of all people would say that "

SiD " f--- off "

Guy " Whatever .. Ok no ones dead yet and Jenna just put in the fourth bullet "

SiD " This sure is dragging out .. What are the odds that that hasn't gone off yet??? "

Midget " Odds're big .. I'm making bank!!! "

Guy " Where'd he come from???? "

SiD " He's gone "

Guy " Wierd "

SiD " Tell me about it "

Guy " Kid Money is hesitating at pulling the trigger .. CLICK!!! "

SiD " Jenna does her thing .. Both wrestlers are sweating and look scared "

Guy " The Crow picks up the gun and puts it to his temple .. BANG!!!! The Crow's head explodes and blood and brains splatter the mat "

SiD " That was cool .. Kid Money looks pretty damn relieved as he stands up "

Winner: Kid Money
Guy " Well I'd be releived too if I didn't have to shoot myself in the head "

SiD " Shut up "

Guy " Well let's see how the beer match is coming along "

Neep -vs- Sharon (cont.)
Jimmy " Damn Neep's had eighteen pints worth and only a little woozy!!!! Sharon's on going on her her seventeenth now!!!! Man there's something about a little girl pounding beer that really gets that lower blood flowing!!!! Ok what beer's next???? Ohhh Tetley's I had that once before I think .. Wait no that was the tea. Both wrestlers are lookin a bit tipsy as our serving wench fills their glasses "

SiD " I'm I the only one that notices we are making a minor get drunk???? "

Guy " No "

SiD " I'm telling you .. One of these days the cops are going to shut this fed down "

Guy " Wouldn't that make you happy though???? "

SiD " Well yeah .. I'm just saying .. Oh nevermind!!!!! "

Rebel -vs- Blade and Slezy-D
( Rebel struts down to the ring. Next out are Slezy-D and Blade.)
SiD " Rebel's got some balls fighting his first match here at a handicap "

Guy " True .. He's not wasting any time though as he charges after Blade with a drop-kick!!!!!!! Now he whips Slezy-D into the turnbuckles!!!! Blade is up and scoop-slams Rebel .. Slezy runs over and victory rolls Rebel!!!! They are both stomping Rebel!!!! Rebel throws them off of him and snap-mares Blade!!!!! Slezy runs at Rebel with a clothesline but trips over the body of The Crow and gets tangled in the barbwire ropes!!!!

SiD " Would someone get his body out of there???? I mean Christ .. What the hell???? "

Guy " Blade with a drop-kick to Rebel!!!! Rebel leaps to his feet and uppercuts him before clotheslining the oncoming Slezy-D!!!! "

SiD " Hey you notice anything funny about the ring???? "

Guy " Ummm .. No "

SiD " Where's the barbedwire???? It was supposed to be a barbwire match!!!!! "

Guy " There IS barbwire "

SiD " Oh "

Guy " Don't you pay attention "

SiD " Not really "

Guy " Slezy leg drags Rebel!!!!! Blade slide kick Rebel in the head!!!! Rebel gets up and choke-slams Blade!!!! "

SiD " My butt itches "

Guy " So scratch it "

SiD " I will "

Guy " Rebel whips Slezy out of the ring!!!! Now he's picking up the body of The Crow and he body slams it over the rope onto Slezy!!!!!! Blade from behind DDTs Rebel then slaps on a haymaker!!!!! Slezy starts gnawing on the Crow's corpse!!!!! "

SiD " Now that's just plain sick "

Guy " Blade throws Rebel over the wire and Slezy starts stomping on him!!!!! Blade with a big splash!!!!! Rebel ain't doing too good anymore "

SiD " Having two guys on you will do that to a guy though "

Guy " Sounds like you're speaking from experience "

SiD " Well no I .. HEY!!!!! f--- you!!!! I ain't no damn queer!!!!! "

Guy " Whatever "

SiD " f--- off!!!! "

Guy " All three wrestlers are outside the ring .. If they don't get back in soon they'll be counted out "

SiD " Slezy is trying to go back in but Rebel pulls him off the apron and goes in himself .. Blade slides back into the ring and upper-cuts him though!!!!! "

Guy " Blade wraps the barbwire around Rebel's neck and is choking him!!!!! Slezy is getting in the ring now "

SiD " Rebel shoves Blade at Slezy who sidesteps him then moves in with a flying kick just as Rebel frees himself of the wire!!!!! Looks like Rebel's throat's about ripped out "

Guy " I see your not doubting it's real anymore "

SiD " Shut up "

Guy " Isn't that what led to Riley's incarceration and eventual murder??? "

SiD " ........ "

Guy " Rebel's holding the blood back in his neck as Blade and Slezy pull him to his feet .. He smashes their heads together!!!!! "

SiD " A wiseguy eh? Nyuck nyuck nyuck "

Guy " Blade and Slezy are bleeding from their heads!!!!! Rebel with a big splash to Blade .. He goes for Slezy but is too late as Slezy is on his feet again and wrapping his chain around his knuckles "

SiD " He's gonna f--- him up now "

Guy " Slezy punches Blade!!!! He's out cold!!!! Rebel jumps on him and pins him out!!!! "

Guy " Rebel gets up and faces Slezy .. He connects to Rebel with a right cross!!!!! Rebel spits out blood right as he gets drop-kicked!!!!! Slezy picks him up and a Samoan drop!!!!! "

SiD " That was sleazy to turn on Blade that way "

Guy " I think being sleazy is where his name derived from "

SiD " Well you just know everything don't you??? "

Guy " Rebel has Slezy pinned!!!!! ...1...2...3!!!!! Rebel won the handicap!!!!! "

SiD " Whoopdy doo "

Winner: Rebel
SiD " That was dissapointing .. The match could've been much better "

Guy " True but in all due fairness this is a pretty full card and even promotors have outside lives "

SiD " What the hell are you talking about???? "

Guy " Forget it "

"Canadian Badass" Harley Hart -vs- Black Widow
( "Canadian Badass hits the PA as Harely Hart and Sunny come out. The crowd boos him as he grabs his balls and gives them all the finger.)
Guy " What happened to Nicole Bass??? "

SiD " You know how it is "

Guy " I do???? "

SiD " Love em and leave em baby!!!!! Can't recycle "

Guy " You're a pig "

SiD " Oink oink!!! "

( The Soviet national anthem comes on next as The Black Widow proudly walks out, ignoring the crowds boos. )
SiD " Yeah .. BOOOOOOOO!!!! Goddamn foreigners "

Guy " Gary Coleman's locking the cage doors now .. There's the bell .. Harely and Black Widow lock up .. Widow with a Russian suplex then knee-drop to Hart!!!! Hart gets back up an drop-kicks Widow!!!! He slaps on an arm-wrench!!!! She just mule kicked him in the balls!!!!! "

SiD " AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! "

Guy " Hart's rocking back and forth cupping his boys as Widow pulls him to his feet .. She windmill kicks him but he blocks it and gives her an uppercut!!!!! Sending her to the mat!!!! "

SiD " She grabs his leg and flings him into the cage wall!!!! Now she's up and gives him a running helicoptor kick!!!! Damn "

Guy " Hart punched her in her recently wounded leg causing her to stumble back a bit!!!! He drop-kicks her!!!! Hart with a Canadian maple leaf!!!!! "

SiD " That's f---ed taking advantage of her injured leg like that .. What a dick "

Guy " Black Widow with a one-armed flip to Hart that knocks him on his ass!!!!! She's climbing the cage .. She dives at Hart with an elbow drop but he moves out of the way just in time!!!! "

SiD " Hart powerbombs her!!!! She looks like she's gettin pissed!!!! RRROWWRR!!! "

Guy " Black Widow with a triple-jab windmill kick combo to Hart!!!! "

SiD " I can see stars and birds spinning around his head "

Guy " Hart's looking a little out of shape tonight "

SiD " I doubt even at his best he could beat Black Widow though .. She's pretty damn tough "

Guy " True "

SiD " Hart going after her with a clothesline knocking her down!!!!! What's she doing???? She's just sitting there in the center of the ring!!!!! Hart shrugs his shoulders and starts climbing the fence!!!!! "

Guy " Widow jumps up and grabbs Hart by the belt and drops him on her knee!!!!! She stomps his face a few times and is now going up the cage!!!!! Hart wipes the blood off his face and starts climbing too!!!!! "

SiD " Widow reaches the top .. Hart's almost there "

Guy " Black Widow leaps to the mats below and has won this match!!!!! "

Winner: Black Widow
Guy " Here comes Sandman Simms again with the broom sweeping away Harley Hart "

SiD " No matter how many times I see that it's still funny "

Guy " Yeah .. Now over to Jimmy for an update ""

Neep -vs- Sharon (cont.)
Jimmy " Now this is just incredible .. Neep has had thirty pints and still concious. He's just sitting there now stairing at Sharon's chest as she continues to kill her pints. Damn she just finished her thirtyeth too and let out a huge burp!!! She slumps into her seat a bit as the next round is poured .. "

Guy " Now we have the TV title rematch between Goldust and Bandit in the form of a tag team match "

SiD " That's what I call friendship .. I mean if I was Test or Madman .. And I thank God that I'm not .. I sure as hell wouldn't give the belt away to my tag member "

Guy " Especially since no one would ever join a tag team with you "

SiD " Oh f--- you "

Da Brozz -vs- Bandit and Madman
( 'f--- Off' by Kid Rock comes across the PA as Bandit and Madman enter the arena. Bandit gives his TV belt a kiss before they enter the ring. Next gold glitter explodes from the entryway and 'It's Raining Men!' hits the PA as Test and the naked Goldust, together known as Da Brozz appear and strut down to the ring. )
Guy " Bandit and Test are in the ring and the bell rings .. Bandit goes after Test with a clothesline and knocks him on his ass!!!!! He follows with an elbow drop but Test rolls away .. Test up and a leg drag to Bandit!!!! Madman jumps in and axe-handles Test from behind!!!!! Bandit tags Madman and gives Goldust the finger "

SiD " Madman with a scoop-slam .. Test should've trained for this match "

Guy " Test is reaching out to Goldust who is doing his nails and doesn't seem to want to be bothered .. Madman sidewalk-slams Test!!!!! "

SiD " Goldust rolls his eyes then tags Test's hand "

Guy " Madman off the ropes with a drop-kick to Goldust but misses!!!! Goldust bends down and slaps him!!!!

SiD " I need a f---ing cigarette!!!!! "

Guy " So smoke one???? "

SiD " I only got one left "

Guy " That sucks "

SiD " Hey!!!!! Who's that clown???? "

Guy " It's The Fanatic running in to help Madman and Bandit!!!!! "

SiD " Who???? "

Guy " He's a new guy "

SiD " Oh "

Guy " He whips Goldust into the turnbuckle!!!! Here comes Test though and he DDTs the kid!!!!! Madman punches Test in the back off the head .. Goldust off the turnbuckle with a double axe-handle to Madman!!!!! The ref is yelling at Test to get out of the ring long enough for Bandit to smack Goldust from behind with a steel chair!!!!! "

SiD " The ref totally didn't see that but is now making Bandit leave the ring too "

Guy " I'm not sure who's legally supposed to be in the ring now .. But Goldust is there with Madman and has him in a figure four leg lock!!!! "

SiD " EMS finally shows up to claim The Crow's body .. '911 is a Joke' by Public Enemy is coming on tha PA but they don't seem to appreciate the humor in it "

Guy " I think it's funny "

SiD " Yeah .. Me too "

Guy " Goldust with a pin .. But Madman kicks out!!!!! "

SiD " I wish this would end soon .. I got a date later "

Guy " A date??? You???? With who??? "

SiD " This girl named Leah "

Guy " Oh heh "

SiD " What???? "

Guy " Oh nothing "

SiD " .....???? "

Guy " Bandit tags in and clothelines Goldust!!!!! Test jumps in and powerbombs Bandit!!!! Goldust starts stomping him!!!!! Bandit on his feet drop kicks Goldust as the ref yells at Test .. A small package by Goldust!!!!! ...1...2...3 He pinned out Bandit!!!! The ref didn't see it though!!!!!

SiD " Jesus f---!!!!! Will it never end???? I have to take a s--- too "

Guy " So kind of you to share that with us Sid "

SiD " Shut up .. Goldust should've just suspended Bandit like he did Ashura that time and taken the belt from him "

Guy " The ref is still arguing with Test as The Fanatic comes back in smashes Goldust over the head with a chair!!!!! Test grabs the ref by the head forcing him to watch them cheat be only succeeds in showing him Bandit pinning Goldust!!!! "

SiD " Bandit pinned him out .. Good .. Great .. Fantastic .. Can I go now???? "

Winner: Bandit and Madman
Guy " Well there you have it folks .. Goldust won back his belt .. We now turn over the rest of the show to Jimmy Kimmel for hopefully the conclusion to the Neep and Sharon match "

Neep -vs- Sharon (cont.)
Jimmy " Thanks Guy. Sharon and Neep are both passed out on the floor so I guess it's a draw. I lost track of all the beer they drank but it was alot. Wait a minute!!!! Sharon's sitting up and mumbling .. She's reaching for the last beer .. She pounds it down!!!! That means she outdrank Neep!!!! I guess being an old Scot his liver just couldn't compete with one of a youth. Sharon starts kicking at Neep .. She's missing but I'm sure he still wouldn't budge anyway folks. The man's gone night night "

Winner: Sharon
Jimmy " I think I'll walk her home tonight. Well that's all for this show people .. On behalf of Guy and SiD and myself .. Goodnight "

RMWF

SpiderMan7788@aol.com

Visitors: 00978

Page Updated Sat May 19, 2001 6:38am EDT