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Rumours!

Hands up who likes goss? Thats what we thought. Shows us someone who doesn't like a bit of fabrigationin their lunch break and we'll show you someone who, quite frankly, is lying! Rumours are cunning in nature - try as we might resist their pull, sooner or later will get sucked in superficality of it all, and any ethical concerns we may have had about everything turning up into a big catty mess are trown out the window.

So, what makes an otherwise sensible girl like yourself turn into someone who is obsessed with the private details of someone elses life, and who spreads those details for there own, and everyones benefit? In short, it's the juicy topic - peoples lives - that has us hooked. Can you imagine a day going by without a discussion of who's seeing who and for how long?
When the rumour is about you though, it's totally different. Perhaps you did something on the weekend that you wish no-one else saw (regardless of wherther it was totally diferent to what it looked like), or someone with something against you has starting spreading some nasty untruths about you. Whatever the reason, one sunny afternoon yuor walking down the corridor and your smack bang in the middle of rumour hell - people are whispering and the topic is YOU! Worse still, you're probably the last one to know about it.
Unlke celebs, we don't have our own publicity machines to generate damage control, so when the rumour grabs hold, it can be hard to keep a lid on it, and the effects can be pretty devastating. Regardless of whether the rumour is true or not, people begin to assume thing about you because of what they've heard. But before yuo condemn the world for being so cruel, don't think you guilt-free. You may be spreading rumours about people to, wothout knowing it. Example: your in class and you over-hear someone talking. You do pretend you're not listening but you can't help it. You're no gossip, but when the period ends, you find yourself saying "guess what i just heard" to the next person you run into. You make them promise not to tell anyone, which of course they do, the whole thing snowballs, and before you can say "oh my god did you hear about........", it's a fully fledged rumour which has spread around the entire school.

Rumour Control
If the rumours about you, you need to can it as soon as possible. If someones spreading something which has an element of truth to it, then stand up and admit to what you've done. The idea being that if you admit to your mistake, no-one else will get the satisfaction that comes from exposing or humiliating you. No ammo, no fire-power, if you catch our drift. Another trick is to make the gossip non-newsworthy, so it's not the hot item it once was or potentially could be. In this situation, it helps if you've got someone well respected on your side who's willing to vouch for you. If they're prepared to tell people that the rumour is false, chances are tomorrow everyone will be gobbling up some other piece of goss. If they're not, then try going direct to the source. Letting the rumour slide becasue you think it's childish and has no substance to it, might seem like a noble thing to do, but in the end it won't fo your cause, or your rep, much good. Take the high road, and tell the person (alone-if you do it in a group it may backfire) who's spreading the rumour that yuo're not willing to play games. Anyone can make up something about someone, so theres nothing particually original about it. Tell them to go ahead and spread all the rumours they like. It won't bother you, because people whose opinion you care about most - your friends, don't buy a word of it, so what ever they say can't hurt or embarrass you (you may be lying through your teeth here, but don't give them the satisfaction of letting them nkow that you are hurt). Even go as far as to tell them you look foward to the next lost of rumour because they provide endless hours of hilarity for you and everyone else at school. Whatever you do, don't spread a counter rumour. It'll be a cheap victory because you've stooped to their level. Worse, you may look like your trying to cover things up.
If your friends start ignoring you because everyones gossiping negativly about you, or you feel that they're not sticking up for you, you have to speak up. Tell them how much you need they're support. And if the shoe is at the other end of the foot and the rumours are about someone you know, tell the person what everyone is saying. Don't be gutless. You my not want to stick up for someone who isn't exacly "miss Popularity" at the moment, but if yuo were in her position, you'd want all the friend you can get. And the next rumour that comes your way, get yuor facts straight before you start discussing the finer details with you buds. A rumour may not seem harmful, but never underestimate the effect it may have on someones life. You don't know how vulnerable that person is , or what kind of self-esteem, thay ahve. Next time you go to whisper in someones ear, think about the consiquences just that little bit more.

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Page Updated Fri Jun 8, 2001 9:29am EDT