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Intelligence
Intelligence and the childMythsGeneticsStudy of intelligenceNature of giftednessCreativityFAQIdentificationPsychology testsIQ scoreIdentifying talentscharacteristicsExceptional qualitiesObservationsLists and limitationNurture
Protegy and childhoodSecret of successGenius factoryObjectionsAssembly lineGrowthCultivating talentsProblemsPlay and explorationSelf conceptFamily relationshipKindergartenUnderachieversPre-schoolPrenatal developmentInfanthoodStimulation|
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| Family and the Precocious Child |
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| An unusually bright or talented child is likely to commandeer a large share of the family's attention. It is understandable that this should happen. The child is often behaving in a way which surprises the parents, either because of an unusual skill being demonstrated, or because of the emergence of a skill at an unexpectedly early age. All the child's behavior is then watched with keener interest. Many bright children, as noted before, are physically very active as infants. Their energy and enthusiasm, their tireless and adventurous explorations guarantee attention from adults, if only to ensure their safety. Precocious children often talk earlier than usual. This is an excellent attention-gainer and maintainer, because child-talk is fascinating to adults. Not only will the child be in a better position to clarify to the adult what he wants, but he will have a head start on the building of the best attention-getter of all: conversation. Talk breeds talk. It is usually self-maintaining. Children who talk to their parents a lot will tend to receive a lot of interest and attention in return. Very bright children often develop other skills earlier than usual, and these too become the basis of mutual interest and enjoyment. Research indicates there may be problems between talented and non-talented siblings, especially related to the order of birth and sex. Parents need to feel their way and work out methods of minimizing conflict. Value each child as unique and special. It may be necessary for a family to take a serious look at the way the family interest is being shared. If it becomes unbalanced, if one member is getting the lion's share, the effects are likely to be negative. He may be encouraged to devalue the rights of other siblings, to think disparagingly of others. He risks becoming an object of envy and therefore of dislike. Brothers and sisters receiving less attention are likely to feel jealous and rejecting of the one who seems to be stealing the parents' affection from them. There is some research evidence which shows that where the focus of parental interest is centered on one child, identified by them as 'gifted', the talents of the other siblings are undervalued. Often, another child in the family, also very bright, will be thought of as 'average'. One of the central functions of the family at this stage is to allow for the discovery of the value of individuals within a community. The family is the first community the child meets. It is important that this foundation experience allows a child to learn the need to respect others, to co-operate, to wait one's turn, sometimes to modify one's own demands for the sake of a common need. Parents who do not provide such teaching serve their children ill, as they will find great difficulty in establishing happy relationships in groups outside the home. A conflict in management within the family may also occur during the so-called traumatic periods around the 3 to 4-year-old time. Often a difficult stage for all parents to manage, when children aware of their growing competence and independence begin to challenge their parents' authority, it is the stage of the dramatic 'No's' and the temper tantrums. The child, caught up in the fierceness of his desires and his frustration at being prevented from immediately gratifying them, is often terrified by feelings of being overwhelmed by the strength of his emotions. He may fear that the sheer intensity of the anger will cause the object of his rage to disintegrate. And the object of anger is often the obstructing adult. What the child needs above all is to find that the world is safe and that it can withstand the onslaughts, and that his parents remain the all powerful and therefore safe protectors they were previously known to be. Parents must be able to reassure the child that no matter how angry or how bad the feelings are, they can be 'held' for the child. Once the boundaries have been tested and found to hold, the child is then safe to continue to explore. Age 3-5 typically brings fears arising from greater knowledge of the world. Intellectually gifted children are better able to imagine and state their fears; they are also bright enough to begin to grapple with huge problems like God and Nature. Parents can best cope with these by being willing to discuss things openly. Remember to ask your child what happened during the day. Don't be surprised if the answer doesn't come until bedtime. This is often the best time to discuss things. Encourage him to 'have fun' using his memory. Group materials into distinct categories when talking about them or by giving the child easily categorizable sets of items to sort and classify (e.g. 'Tell me how fish, bats and dogs are alike', or 'How do snakes and horses differ from cars and trains?'). This will provide opportunities to learn effective memory strategies. Times to talk and listen actively are precious, especially for children who will follow through ideas in an unexpected or creative manner. Listen time allows many puzzles and anxieties to emerge and be settled: 'The fish at dinner was nice, but how did it feel?' opens up a dimension of moral questioning. You don't have to know all the answers; just listening to questions will keep the art of questioning alive. When asking questions, try to get into the habit of asking 'open questions'. These will help keep your child's brain working. A closed question is 'Would you like to skip backwards to Ocean Park?' This will usually elicit a yes/no response. An open question is 'How would it be if we all had to skip backwards?'. Treat the child's incorrect answers as opportunities to promote new learning. You can make positive suggestions when your child seems to need them. Often these can come from questions that stimulate his own thinking. If he crayons a horse you might ask: 'Where is the horse going? Is someone coming along to ride him? Is he standing in a field or beside a barn?' If your young artist is unhappy about the looks of the horse and asks for help, suggest that the two of you find some pictures of horses to give him more ideas rather than specifically telling him what to do. Talented pre-schoolers have been shown to have more energy, enthusiasm and curiosity by answering endless questions and providing opportunities for further exploration. This can be a worry to parents. Intellectually advanced children often have more ideas about how to solve social problems and act co-operatively but these ideas may not be acted upon. They are still small children and have not the experience to see the possible implications of their 'solutions'. A child's world is fundamentally insecure. It is most important if one has the care of such a child, that one remembers at all times, however clever and intellectually logical the child's arguments might be, that young children need to find that the parents are in control and will protect them from themselves. At all costs arguments must be avoided in which the child aims to outwit. It is much safer and more comforting for the child if the adult can say quite simply: 'I know you feel that way, but I am telling you that this is how it is.' Good parenting for all children requires sensitive but firm management. Gifted children are no exception. In fact, because of their particular vulnerabilities, such handling may be of even greater importance if they are to grow the stable roots which will provide a firm foundation for future growth. Perfectionism may well come from the parent. It is easy to praise performance rather than effort. Parents need to try and promote a delight in trying difficult tasks, but don't expect perfection all the time. |
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