Prayer For the Year 5760
        by Rabbi Jacob Pressman


May you get a clean bill of health from your dentist,
your cardiologist, your gastro-enterologist, your
urologist, your proctologist, your podiatrist, your
psychiatrist, your plumber and the I.R.S.


May your hair, your teeth, your face-lift, your abs
and your stocks not fall; and may your blood
pressure, your triglycerides, your cholesterol, your
white blood count and your mortgage interest not
rise.




May you find a way to travel from anywhere to
anywhere in the rush hour in less than an hour, and
when you get there may you find a parking space.



May Friday evening, December 31, find you seated
around the Shabbat table, together with your beloved
family and cherished friends, ushering in the Sabbath
day. You will find the food better, the environment
quieter, the cost much cheaper, and the pleasure much
more fulfilling than anything else you might
ordinarily do that night.




May you wake up on January 1st, finding that the
world has not come to an end, the lights work, the
water faucets flow, and the sky has not fallen.



May you go to the bank on Monday morning, January 3rd
and find your account is in order, your money is
still there and any mistakes are in your favor.




May you ponder on January 4th; How did this
ultra-modern civilization of ours manage to get
itself traumatized by a possible slip of a blip on a
chip made out of sand.



May we relax about the Third Millennium of the Common
Era, and realize that we still have 240 years until
the dawn of the Sixth Millennium of the Jewish
Calendar by which time the computer is long since
obsolete and so are we.




May God give you the strength to go through a year of
presidential campaigning, and may some of the
promises made be kept. May you believe at least half
of what the candidates propose, and may those elected
fulfill at least half of what they promise, and the
miracle of reducing taxes and balancing budgets
happen.


May you be awe struck by God's sense of humor as you
wrestle with the possibility that a professional
wrestler could become president of the United States.




May what you see in the mirror delight you, and what
others see in you delight them.


May someone love you enought to forgive your faults,
be blind to your blemishes, and tell the world about
your virtues.




May the telemarketers wait to make their sales calls
until you finish dinner, may your check book and your
budget balance, and may they include generous amounts
for charity.


May you remember to say "I love you" at least once a
day to your spouse, your child, your parent; but not
to your secretary, your nurse, your masseuse, your
hair-dresser or your tennis instructor.





And may the Messiah come this year, and if he does
not may we live as if he has, in a world at peace and
the awareness of God's love in every sunset, every
flower's unfolding petals, every baby's smile, every
lover's kiss, and every wonderful, astonishing,
miraculous beat of our heart.





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