 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
pics
More Pics
Queen Of Names
About Stephanie
Silly Steff
Titanic Sequels
NightsOfThunder
Love Poems
POOP
Chat Transcripts
|
|
| Poopie Humor | |
 |
What The Poop?  poop at the bottom!! |
| ||||||
 Sign Guestbook |
 View Guestbook |
| POOP |
| · Ghost Poopie: The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there's no poopie in the toilet. · Clean Poopie: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there's nothing on the toilet paper. · Wet Poopie: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with skid marks. · Second Wave Poopie: It happens when your done poopie-ing, and you have pulled your pants up to your knees and you realize you have to poopie some more. · Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Poopie: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you almost have a stroke. · Richard Simmons Poopie: You poopie so much you lose 30 pounds. · Lincoln Log Poopie: The kind of poopie that is so huge, you're afraid to flush without breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush. · Corn Poopie: Self Explanatory! · Gee, I Wish I Could Poopie, Poopie: It's the kind where you want to poopie real bad, but all you do is sit, cramp, and fart a few times. · Spinal Tap Poopie: That's where it hurts so bad coming out, you'd swear it was leaving you sideways. · Wet Cheeks Poopie (The Power Dump): The kind that comes out of your rectum so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water. · Liquid Poopie: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt and splatters all over the toilet, and at the same time chronically burns your tender poop chute. · Mexican Food Poopie: It smells so bad the room is condemned. · The Girlie Poopie: The people that think their poopie doesn't stink. · Fisherman's Bobber Poopie: That's the kind where you're in the public rest-room, and there are two people waiting for your stall. You poopie and flush two times, but several golf ball-sized pieces are still floating on the water. |
| · The VanGough Poopie: That's where after you poopie, you are shocked to see all the different colors in your poopie, and try to figure out what you ate to do it again. · The Show-and-Tell Poopie: You're so impressed with your own poopie, you leave it in the bowl so all your friends can appreciate it too · The Wipers Nightmare: That's the kind that breaks off too soon, so half falls in to the bowl and half stays hanging. · Ambush Poopie: That's when your in public and you think you have to fart, but you get a sneak attack squirt instead. · Paralyzing Poopie: When you're sitting poopie-ing so long your legs fall asleep. · He Just Poopied, Poopie: When you get done poopie-ing, you put your shorts back on and go out in public with those identifying bright red pressure circles on the back of your legs for all to see. · The "What Crawled Up Your Butt & Died?" Poopie: Also sometimes referred to as The Toxic Dump. Of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous · bathroom odor. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air. · The Snake Charmer Poopie: A long skinny poopie which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position : usually harmless. · The Ritual Poopie: This poopie occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper. · The Ranger Poopie: A poopie which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper. · The Premeditated Poopie: Laxative induced. Doesn't count. · The Porridge Poopie: The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: 1) Flush and keep going. 2) Risk it piling up to your crack while you sit there helpless. · The Pebbles-From-Heaven Poopie: An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you cannot poopie. |
| · The Peek-A-Boo Poopie: Now you see it, now you don't! This poopie is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control. · The Mood Enhancer: This poopie occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing you to be your old self again. · The "I Think I'm A Bunny" Poopie: When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water. · The "I'm Going To Chew My Food Better" Poopie: When the bag of Doritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your poop shoot on the way out in the morning. · The Honeymoon's Over Poopie: This is any poopie created in the presence of another person. · The Groaner: A poopie so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance. · The Energizer Poopie: "Still Going!" · The Crowd Pleaser: This poopie is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing. · The Cliffhanger: Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop off, because if you wipe now it's going to smear all over the place. · The Back-To-Nature Poopie: This poopie may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car. Beware of poison ivy wipes. · The Aftershock Poopie: This poopie has an odor so powerful that anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is affected. · The Terminator: You poopie so hard you fall off the toilet. · T2: More extreme then The Terminator, you require some medical assistance to restart your heart. Clear! · The Cowboy: You've got to poopie so bad that you proceed to buck and holler until finally the poopie's been tamed. · The Runner's Poopie: Experienced by long distance runners who don't want to stop so they poopie in their shorts. · Poopszopherenia: Fear of poopie-ing, can be fatal! |
| · The Pool Poopie: Usually performed by younger children. It's too much fun in the pool so why get out? Makes a great floatie toy afterwards! · Painter's Poopie: You're up on the scaffolding and it takes to long to get down so you just cramp it and wait. · Lost Poopie: That's when there's a poopie in the urinal. MORE POOP TO FOLLOW... (coming soon to a toilet near you) MORE POOP!!!!!!! YES!!! IT HAS HAPPENED!!!!!! SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR TAKING A DUMP AT WORK Memorize these definitions, and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure. · ASTAIRE: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential TURD BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an ASTAIRE, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace. · CAMO-COUGH: A phony cough which alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON or to alert potential TURD BURGLARS. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE. · COURTESY FLUSH: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME. · CRACK WHORE: A crapper that has seen more ass than a Greyhound Bus. Telltale signs of a CRACK WHORE include pubes, piss stains and shit streaks. Avoid a CRACK WHORE at all cost. Try finding out when the janitor cleans each particular bathroom. Don't forget with a good cleaning, a CRACK WHORE can become a SAFE HAVEN. · ESCAPEE: A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic and embarrassment, similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter at the urinal, pretend that you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee; it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy. · FLY BY: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in, check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom. · HAVANA OMELET: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an ESCAPEE. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE. · JAILBREAK: (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE) When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine-gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic; remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred. · OUT-OF-THE-CLOSET POOPER: A colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER before entering the bathroom. · POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN): A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPERS and identify SAFE HAVENS. · SAFE HAVEN: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom. · TURD BURGLAR: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the TURD BURGLAR leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact. · UNCLE TED: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees. · WALK OF SHAME: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk-up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of a COURTESY FLUSH. · WATERMELON: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a WAERMELON coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH. |
 ladyofpassion@unforgettable.com |
|
. |
| Visitors: 07151 |