Funny Jokes - St. Peter Jokes - Entertainment - http://maxpages.com/queenbee/Saint_Peter

Three guys were waiting in line at the Pearly Gates to get into Heaven. St. Peter said, "Heaven is getting pretty full today, so only people who have died really horrible deaths may enter."
The first guy walked-up to St. Peter.
"How did you die?" St. Peter asks.
"Well," the first man begin, "I live on the 25th floor of an apartment building, and I thought that my wife had been cheating on me. I rushed up to my room on the 25th floor and began to search everywhere for the guy. I couldn't find him anywhere - until at last I rushed out onto my balcony and saw a man hanging onto the edge. I was outraged, so I began hitting him and kicking him, but he wouldn't fall off!!! So... I went to go get a hammer, and I started to hit his fingers with it. His fingers let loose to the rails, and he fell off to the bushes 25 stories below. He was stunned, but alright. I went and got my refridgerator and threw it on him. He died instantly, and then I had a heart attack and died right there, also."
"Wow," St. Peter said, "that death sounds really bad. You may enter."
Then, Saint Peter asked the next guy, "So, how did you die?"
He answered, "Well, I live on the 26th floor of an apartment building. I exercise out on my balcony every single day. Today I was looking over the edge, when suddenly I slipped and fell. Luckily, I managed to grab onto the rails of the balcony below me on the 25th floor. I saw a man walk out onto the balcony, and I thought that I was saved. Boy was I wrong. He started hitting me and kicking me, and then he hit my fingers with a hammer, and I fell into the bushes 25 stories below. I was stunned... but alright. Then, he took his refrigerator and threw it on me. I died instantly."
"That death is really bad!!!" St. Peter exclaimed. "You definently can go in!!!"
St. Peter asked the third guy, "So how did you die?"
The man said, "Picture this... I'm hiding naked inside of a refrigerator..."
The End.

Three guys were waiting at the Pearly Gates so St. Peter could assign them the cars that they would be using in Heaven.
St. Peter asked the first man, "So, how many times have you cheated on your wife."
"Well," the man began, looking a bit embarassed, "I cheated on her about 2 or 3 times a week."
St. Peter looked upset. "Then... you get a used Station Wagon."
St. Peter then asked the next guy, "So, how many times have you cheated on your wife."
The man smiled proudly. "Only 2 times the whole time that we have been married."
St. Peter shook his head shamefully. "Then, my friend, you get a used Geo Metro."
The next man stepped in and said, "I'm proud to say that with 25 years of marriage, I have never cheated on my wife. She has even been dead for 2 years, and I still haven't cheated on her!!!"
"Wowee!!!" St. Peter shouted. "You get Dodge Viper!"
The three men met up an hour later, and the man with the Dodge Viper was crying.
"Why are you sobbing?" the other two men asked him. "You have an awesome car, when we get these two old junkers."
"Because," the man managed to spit-out in between sniffles, "I just saw my wife ride by on a skateboard!"
The End.

Queen Bee
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dexila@hotmail.com

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Page Updated Sun Mar 28, 1999 9:42pm EST