A Redneck Letter - Entertainment - http://maxpages.com/queenbee/A_Redneck_Letter_Very

Dear Redneck Son,
I am writing this letter slow because I know you cannot read
that fast. We don't live where we did when you left home,
your father read in the newspaper that most accidents
occur within 20 miles of your home, so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address because the last
Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers when they
moved so that they wouldn't have to change their new
address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm
not sure it works so well, last week I put a load in and pulled
the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather here isn't bad. It only rained twice last week,
once for three days and the second time for four days.

About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle
Stanley said that it would be too heavy to send in the the
mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them
into the pockets.

John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really
worried because it took him an hour to get me and your
father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven' found out
if your an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks just like your
brother....

Uncle Ted fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried
to pull him out, but he fought them off and playfully
drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three
days.

Three of you friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck.
Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to
safety. Your other two friends were in back. They drowned
because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has
happened.

Love, mom

P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope
was already sealed.

Queen Bee
Honey Lane
Nowhere	California	22222
dexila@hotmail.com

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Page Updated Fri Apr 2, 1999 11:50am EST