The Job Interview - A short skit by Lynn H. R. - Personal - http://maxpages.com/prufrockcafe/The_Job

The Job Interview

CAST OF CHARACTERS:

CLAIRE..............Very sophisticated woman/annoyingly friendly/pushy
STEVE .....Wise, soft-spoken quiet/thoughtful/slow to speak
JIMMY RAY.....A cornball/offbeat/dressed in hunting suit
DALE....Hopeless sad sack/doubting Thomas/very nervous
FAYE..........................Office secretary

SETTING:
Interviewers office. Four applicants are all waiting to see which one of them gets ‘the job'.

FAYE:
If you all will have a seat. I'll have Mister Matthews answer for you all shortly.
Now being that you've all applied for the same position, I must remind you that only one of you will be selected for this very important assignment. I am sure that this was a very difficult decision for him to make and I can assure all of you that he has given this matter his upmost thought and attention. Now if you'll please be patient, I'll be back in a moment with his answer.

(They all sit down and begin to look each other over. Claire begins to check herself in the mirror; Jimmy Ray pulls out a bag of chips and begins eating, Dale begins to frantically fumble through his briefcase in search of something. But Steve sits quietly, waiting patiently.)

JIMMY RAY:
(Looking up for a moment as the others are distracted by his munching. )
I'm sorry, did anybody want some? This is them newfangled super pizza chips.
Nice and spicy! (shoving the bag at Claire as she winces ... )
What's the matter? Not into spicy foods? Pity.

CLAIRE:
I can't believe you're eating chips at a time like this. Aren't you the least bit concerned
with what they'll think ? I mean EATING in a JOB interview?

JIMMY RAY:
Well, I mean no disrespect Mam, but I reckon they know a mans
got to eat. Besides, I don't expect to get this here job anyhow....
(Then leaning in as if he doesn't want anyone to know, but saying in
loudly enough for everyone to hear ...)
...I'm over qualified.

CLAIRE:
YOU'RE over qualified for THIS job. (Laughing a little)
Do you even KNOW what a Programs Director DOES?

JIMMY RAY:
(Mimicking her) Yes, I know what a program director does.

DALE:
Will you two PLEASE quiet down or NONE of us are going to get this job. I'm a bundle of nerves, I can't find my resume, and all your talking is making me nervous.

CLAIRE:
Don't THEY have your resume? They certainly have mine ... twenty four pages of experience, beautifully typed and bound. You know, I spent eighty dollars having it produced. I'm SURE I'll get this job. Why I don't even know why the rest of you are even HERE!
(They all look at each other in a bewildered way as she continues bragging.
Then looking at Steve ...)
So what's YOUR story .... you're awfully quiet. Are you applying too?
(Jimmy Ray pulls out a brown paper sack and begins plundering through it looking for his drink.)

STEVE:
Yes ... I am!
(He nods)

DALE:
So I guess you think you'll get it too, huh? I KNEW I wouldn't get selected. I don't even know why I even bothered to apply.

STEVE:
I wouldn't worry about it really. It's all up to Mister Matthews right now anyway. Whichever one of he sees best for the job is the one he'll select. Besides, I'm sure we're all equally qualified and we're all good at SOMETHING. If we DON'T get this job, it's only because the Lord has something else in mind for us anyway.

CLAIRE:
I couldn't agree with you more, but the Lords KNOWS how badly I want this position. I am CERTAIN that Mister Matthews will select me for this job. After all, you - whatever your name is (looking at Jimmy Ray) , you look more like you're going DEER hunting than JOB hunting. And you (pointing to Dale), you're as scared as a cat and I'll almost BET that Mister Matthews can SMELL fear, and you (looking at Steve) , I would NEVER wear THAT tie with THAT suit.

JIMMY RAY:
(Looking up from plundering in his bag and holding out drinks for everyone)
Well I'm not worried about it. Get it or NOT get it ... makes no difference to me. I'll be happy either way, ya' know? Cokes anyone?

DALE:
Oh, I just KNEW it ... you're all more qualified than I am ... EVERYONE is more qualified than me.
(He stands as if to leave)
I may as well leave and go home. I'm starting to get a stomach ache anyway.

STEVE:
Sit down and relax. You may get it after all! Don't let anyone EVER steal your hope. You've got to have FAITH! If God wants you in this position then it will happen.

CLAIRE:
Well, I hate to break it to you, but He want's ME in this position because I'm the most qualified and that's just the way it is. Eight years of college, five years of similar experience ... I'm a shoe in for this position.

JIMMY RAY:
Eight years of COLLEGE? That's something. I learned enough in two years of high school to get this HERE job! You must be sort of one of them slow learners or something if it took all that learning to get you here, hu?

CLAIRE:
(Very indignantly and insulted.)
No.

STEVE:
(To Dale)
Just don't worry about it. What we HOPE for isn't always part of God's plan, but like I said, you stand JUST as much a chance of getting this as we do.

DALE:
(Looking to Steve for hope.) You think? I mean, do you REALLY think I stand a good chance of getting this job?

STEVE:
I'm SURE of it. You wouldn't of been called back if you weren't.

JIMMY RAY:
(Stuffing his mouth with another handful of chips, popping the can top of his drink, and opening up a beef jerky.)
I just hope he decides soon ... I'm almost out of grub! Beef jerky anyone?

CLAIRE:
No THANK you. I ate BEFORE the most important job interview of my life. Not DURING!

DALE:
I don't know. Maybe interviewing for this job wasn't the thing for me to do. Besides, I'm feeling kind of sick ...

CLAIRE:
Are you alright? You certainly don't LOOK too good!
It's probably the smell of his food that's doing it. Does my hair look alright? I thought about doing a french twist but then I decided that I look MUCH better with it down. I don't know WHY you're so worried ... you must lack self-confidence or something. This probably isn't the job for you anyway. Now ME on the other hand ... I RRREEEEEEK confidence!

DALE:
Now I'm feeling really sick! I mean really REALLY sick!

STEVE:
(Standing up and offering Dale his hand.)
You've gotten' yourself entirely too wound up over this thing. You're letting peoples opinions of you get you all upset! God's opinion of us is the only IMPORTANT opinion anyway!
It doesn't matter what SHE thinks of you ... it won't REALLY matter what
Mister Matthews thinks of you ... the important thing is what do YOU think of you?
Now come on, lets get some water splashed on your face to calm you down a bit.

CLAIRE:
Wait for me. I've got a few little hairs out of place and I want to look my best for the most important moment of my life!
(She follows them as they exit.)

(A few moments pass and Faye reappears with her clipboard in her hand. She stands in the empty office except for Jimmy Ray who's stuffing his mouth once again with yet another bag of chips.)

FAYE:
So where did everyone go?

JIMMY RAY:
(Looking up startled that everyone has left. In his eating fit he hasn't noticed everyone has left.)
I don't know ... I guess they all left.

FAYE:
(Looking Jimmy Ray over ...)
Well, I suppose under the circumstances, being that everyone else left, I guess you get the job.
You want to come on back and sign the paperwork for me?

JIMMY RAY:
(Gathering all his stuff together ...)
Yes Mam I do ... funny how this worked out isn't it?
(Still talking to her as they exit)
Would you like some chips and maybe a coke? I've got some Cokes in here and a little
beef jerky left ...

STEVE:
(Entering just as they exit ... and addressing the congregation.)
This didn't work out exactly like you thought, did it? Well, it didn't work out like
"I" thought it would either. You were all thinking that I would get the job didn't you? Me, the one with the most faith, with the most hope, the encourager. I did too ... but the Bible says it's better to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. I figure I just did a good thing ... oh, he'll be alright - they guy who made himself sick here a minute ago ... nothing that a little faith and hope won't help; and she'll find another "most important moment in her life" any minute now.
You know, I'm sort of happy for whats-his-name there ... what a guy.
It'll all work out in the end anyway ... after all, the Bible says that ‘Hope that is
seen is no hope at all ... who hopes for what he already has? But! If we hope for
what we do not yet have, we are to wait for it patiently." I guess it all goes
back to the fact that all things, even job interviews, work out for the best because God is in control. I suppose whats-his-name has been called for THIS particular job because it's in the plan. God's plan. I wish him luck. As for me, I have another job interview in a few hours.
Oh, I'm not worried, after all, I have patience. But most of all, I have hope.

Cowboy/Annie

"People Exercise an unconscious selection in being influenced." T.S. Eliot

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Page Updated Sun Apr 2, 2000 10:58am EDT