Daily Chuckle .... - Personal - http://maxpages.com/prufrockcafe/NEW_Daily_Chuckle

Next time you think you're having a bad day, recall that:
1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale.

2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped and beat her repeatedly with an ax leaving her mentally retarded.

3. In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world flagpole-sitting record. Suffering from the flu he came down eight hours short of the 400-day record, his sponsor had gone bust, his girlfriend had left him and his phone and electricity had been cut off.

4. A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. Till that moment he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

5. Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two helpless
protesters to death.

And the capper:
6. Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

Here's hoping your day is better than any of these!
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Pssssst, This is a secret! Spread this around to everyone except for John Glenn. People get more gullible when they get older. When John Glenn returns from space, everybody dress in Ape Suits. Pass it on.
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Don't take your work home!
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home."
"Why not?" asked someone from the back of the audience.
"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time. 'Hon,' I suggested, 'Why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" The voice from the back asked, "Did it save time?" The expert replied, "Actually, yes. It used to take her 20 minutes to get
breakfast ready. Now I do it in seven."

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And certainly by now you've heard about the guy living in a Kentucky apartment, who was cleaning his rifle in his kitchen when it when off, shooting a hole straight through the ceiling. Seconds later he heard a loud thump upstairs.
In a panic, the guy dialed 911 and explained what he had done. Moments later parametics arrive, busted down the door to the apartment above him, only to find dead on the floor a burgular who was looting the house.

Have a good day!!!

Cowboy/Annie

"People Exercise an unconscious selection in being influenced." T.S. Eliot

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Page Updated Sun Apr 2, 2000 10:58am EDT