HOW TO PREVENT ALIEN ABDUCTION Are you hearing things? Is the mailman reading your mind? Are you sick of being abducted by aliens? A TINFOIL HAT NEVER HURT ANYONE. This site teaches you how to make your own TINFOIL HAT. It also warns of the dangers of NOT wearing a tinfoil hat. Most importantly, it states the benefits of wearing a tinfoil hat. Let's start with why you SHOULD wear a tinfoil hat. For one thing, no one has ever been abducted by aliens while wearing a tinfoil hat, no mind ever protected by one has ever had their mind read, and you will never hear any more voices EVER AGAIN. Ask anyone. No one will argue with you, NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN ABDUCTED BY ALIENS WHILE WEARING A TINFOIL HAT. Even the most qualified scientists will agree, your mind is safe. The tin acts as an insulator, absorbing any radioactive waves, or any waves, from entering your brain. You will be able to go on your computer or use your microwave if you FOLLOW THESE 3 EASY STEPS: 1) Find someone who will get tin for you to make your hat. IMPORTANT: Do NOT use your phone to call anyone, radioactive waves will enter your brain and make it vulnerable to mind-control. 2) Make a cone big enough for your head out of the foil. Make sure it is 1 inch thick, or you'll be pledging your allegiance to the flag like the rest of the brainwashed idiots we are surrounded by. 3) Use Rubber to make a strap to hold the tin foil hat to your head. Where are you safe without your hat? In your car, for one thing, because the tires insulate ALL harmful waves that would otherwise enter your brain. Make sure to keep the windows up. You should warn as many people as you possibly can about the dangers of not wearing a tinfoil hat. Apart from the reasons I've already mentioned, there are PLENTY more. Which include the following horrifying possibilities (YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF IMMEDIATELY IF YOU DO ANY OF THE FOLLOWING THINGS): 1) Have the sudden urge to listen to "The Backstreet Boys" or another pussy boy band like that. Of course if you do, you'll be brainwashed by more radioactive waves that will most definitely infect you and make you listen to more shitty music. 2) You may find morons like "Ellen DeGeneres" funny. By then, you have no hope. Kill yourself while your last remaining brain cells allow it, you don't have much time. 3) This is most common. A lot of people are unknowingly serving the corporations that are brainwashing them into doing so. As in buying things at Wal-Mart or "defending their country" by going to war. A lot of them are androids in disguise. 4) You may even ask yourself if Michael Jackson is innocent or not. 5) Watch TV. "Lord of the Rings," "Star Trek," "Star Wars," and football are worthy of killing yourself. 6) Listen to country or heavy metal music (or really any music) 7) Talk to the mailman. On second thought, you shouldn't even be leaving your closet (unless you're planning on killing yourself). There are many more side effects. Some unintentional, like Pokemon. Kids have been attracted to it as many people are attracted to things through brainwashing. Government tests get screwed up all the time, and when they do, that's when harmful waves brainwash people (especially little kids) into doing unimaginable things. Like watch "The Lord of the Rings." If you are afraid to get someone to get you a tinfoil hat, that's okay. Just email me at mun090@msn.com and I'll send one to you for just 4.99! When the mailman delivers it, hide in your closet like you'd normally do and plug your ears with your fingers to prevent your brain from being molested any further.